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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

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    #4262
    riveratom
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭riveratom


    missrandomer wrote: »
    ah i know, but we had been txting alot. So was kinda expecting to have heard from him today as i would usually have. So its not really looking good i dont think :(

    I guess time will tell. One thing I've learned is that it really is all swings and roundabouts, and if it's going to be, it's going to be. Otherwise, there's always someone new and potentially interesting around the corner :)


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    #4263
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    shinny wrote: »
    I'm beginning to think that maybe it's just not for me. I've been quite taken aback at how aggressive some guys are on there.

    Block those dudes straight away.


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    #4264
    Armaghmagic
    Registered Users Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭Armaghmagic


    Larianne wrote: »
    shinny wrote: »
    I'm beginning to think that maybe it's just not for me. I've been quite taken aback at how aggressive some guys are on there.

    Block those dudes straight away.

    Couldn't agree more......they give us "normal" guys a bad name! Plenty of decent lads out there so don't waste your time on the idiots.


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    #4265
    Armaghmagic
    Registered Users Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭Armaghmagic


    Also just a quick question.......how do you not be rude to someone who has no profile photo, and when they send you one on request, you don't find them remotely attractive?


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    #4266
    finipops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 201 ✭✭finipops


    Came across some girls profile who says that she has a boyfriend and has been with him three years but says she's on the site just to message and chat!! I'd say she loves the attention and the messages that pour in from the poor suckers who messages her!! :pac:


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    #4267
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    finipops wrote: »
    Came across some girls profile who says that she has a boyfriend and has been with him three years but says she's on the site just to message and chat!! I'd say she loves the attention and the messages that pour in from the poor suckers who messages her!! :pac:

    In my totalitarian opinion such profiles should deleted/banned. It's called online DATING for a reason people! If you're not there for dating then bugger off and find yourself a chatroom or something. It's no wonder so many people are getting disillusioned with the whole thing when there are so many waste of space profiles cluttering everything up.


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    #4268
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Galvasean wrote: »
    In my totalitarian opinion such profiles should deleted/banned. It's called online DATING for a reason people! If you're not there for dating then bugger off and find yourself a chatroom or something. It's no wonder so many people are getting disillusioned with the whole thing when there are so many waste of space profiles cluttering everything up.

    Case in point: Clicked into a profile just now and it's an actor advertising her poxy fringe show! >_<

    That's it. Final straw. I'm out. Life's too short!


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    #4269
    CastorTroy
    Registered Users Posts: 29,038 ✭✭✭✭CastorTroy


    Saying about non single people being on there. But I was wondering why they have a "Status" in the profiles. Like was said, if you're on there your status should be single.


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    #4270
    Max Power1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,272 ✭✭✭✭Max Power1


    missrandomer wrote: »
    ah i know, but we had been txting alot. So was kinda expecting to have heard from him today as i would usually have. So its not really looking good i dont think :(
    Maybe he's following the 3 day rule?


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    #4271
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    Think I might be heading back onto POF or Match.com. Been on OKCupid now for a few weeks and it's not really going anywhere. I'm mailing one girl and we seemed to be getting on reasonably well but she's went quiet since I suggested swapping numbers. :rolleyes:


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    #4272
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    missrandomer wrote: »
    ah i know, but we had been txting alot. So was kinda expecting to have heard from him today as i would usually have. So its not really looking good i dont think :(
    Max Power1 wrote: »
    Maybe he's following the 3 day rule?

    This. I've definitely found that men who were perfectly happy to text constantly suddenly feel the need to invoke all sorts of "rules" about when to text again once you've been on an actual date. It makes no sense to me, but then very little about the whole dating scenario does. Give it a few days and if you still haven't heard from him, drop him a breezy text but be prepared to move on.


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    #4273
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Well I've a second date tonight with the absolutely drop dead gorgeous new molly I met on POF over the weekend for a first date, can't believe my luck, first date was just perfect, no awkwardness, great conversation all evening and we didn't want to part company at the end of the night, didn't think I'd get this lucky with it but sure ya just don't know what's around the corner as the man says! :cool:


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    #4274
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Armaghmagic wrote: »
    Also just a quick question.......how do you not be rude to someone who has no profile photo, and when they send you one on request, you don't find them remotely attractive?

    Well it's going to be hard not to be rude to be honest. But fairs fair. She didn't have a pic up or send you a photo in her first mail. Just say that she's not your type/not what you're looking for.


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    #4275
    riveratom
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭riveratom


    Had an email yesterday just asking what height I look for in a girl. That's all she said!?

    I ain't no Shaquille O'Neal so as long as you ain't higher than about 5'8" I don't mind!


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    #4276
    njs030
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,030 ✭✭✭njs030


    riveratom wrote: »
    Had an email yesterday just asking what height I look for in a girl. That's all she said!?

    I ain't no Shaquille O'Neal so as long as you ain't higher than about 5'8" I don't mind!

    Why no taller than that?


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    #4277
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    notjustsweet wrote: »
    Why no taller than that?

    Cause that's his personal preference? I wouldn't date anyone under 5' 10".


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    #4278
    riveratom
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭riveratom


    notjustsweet wrote: »
    Why no taller than that?

    Oh, well I am just under 5'9" so I figure it's about right. But I don't mean it's like I'd rule a girl out for being taller! Defo not...

    I suppose most girls want someone who is taller, even a bit taller, or at least the same height. And so it's prob the reverse for most guys.


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    #4279
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭lilmissprincess


    Turns out POF is a lovely place - am now with the boyf two weeks, after seeing him for the last month :)


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    #4280
    njs030
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,030 ✭✭✭njs030


    riveratom wrote: »
    Oh, well I am just under 5'9" so I figure it's about right. But I don't mean it's like I'd rule a girl out for being taller! Defo not...

    I suppose most girls want someone who is taller, even a bit taller, or at least the same height. And so it's prob the reverse for most guys.

    Oh right, that's fair enough. I actually meant to add is it because your around that height but was rushing!


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    #4281
    Armaghmagic
    Registered Users Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭Armaghmagic


    Larianne wrote: »
    Armaghmagic wrote: »
    Also just a quick question.......how do you not be rude to someone who has no profile photo, and when they send you one on request, you don't find them remotely attractive?

    Well it's going to be hard not to be rude to be honest. But fairs fair. She didn't have a pic up or send you a photo in her first mail. Just say that she's not your type/not what you're looking for.

    I'm thinking the best thing to do is ignore if I am going to be rude anyway.


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    #4282
    Armaghmagic
    Registered Users Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭Armaghmagic


    Regarding height women I have spoken to usually prefer a man who is about 3 inches taller than them so if they wear heels, the guy isn't being shadowed.


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    #4283
    Sweet Jones
    Registered Users Posts: 63 ✭✭Sweet Jones


    What is the protocol on this situation?
    - Chatted casually to a girl who only had hidden photos. She finally did send a photo and she's cute but not really my type... What is the most polite way to deal with it?

    - Chatted to another girl who asked me if I wanted to meet her next week... because she was busy this week... going on other dates... Is that standard behavior?

    Other than that, I have to say online dating is kinda a laugh and I've met a few really nice people. No real chemistry yet, but I'm hopeful.


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    #4284
    Mr_Spaceman
    Registered Users Posts: 2,958 ✭✭✭Mr_Spaceman


    openup wrote: »
    Yeah, I've just been asked out by 2 guys I don't feel like I know that well. One is a definite no because, well, he's just kinda creepy in general but the other one I'm not sure about. I feel like I could like him but it's so hard to tell online, I've always kinda felt like online people don't really exist if you know what I mean. :p

    The trick is to take a deep breath and meet up :)

    A cup of coffee isn't going to hurt, and, you never know, you might actually like him.


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    #4285
    Mr_Spaceman
    Registered Users Posts: 2,958 ✭✭✭Mr_Spaceman


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    So how long should a man wait before asking the girl out for a date? A couple of girls I asked out on POF said they didn't know me well enough yet. This was after a week of messaging back and forth. I mean you can only ask a girl so many questions - plus if you know everything about the person before you meet them, then you'll have nothing to talk about on the date.

    If they are telling you that "they don't know you well enough yet" after a week of pinging emails then that suggests to me they are:
    (a) timewasters and (b) hard work.

    If grown adults can't grab a cup of tea or whatever for a casual date after a week of contact then they're not worth the energy.

    The truth of the matter is - in my opinion of course - a lot of folk are not emotionally equipped and immature for OD.

    Personally speaking, I'd move on.


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    #4286
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,153 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    Mr_Spaceman wrote: »
    If they are telling you that "they don't know you well enough yet" after a week of pinging emails then that suggests to me they are:
    (a) timewasters and (b) hard work.

    If grown adults can't grab a cup of tea or whatever for a casual date after a week of contact then they're not worth the energy.

    The truth of the matter is - in my opinion of course - a lot of folk are not emotionally equipped and immature for OD.

    Personally speaking, I'd move on.
    Another truth is that some people are incredibly shy, hence using OD in the first place. Some people need a little coaxing and some people, as you said, are time wasters.


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    #4287
    hollypink
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭hollypink


    Mr_Spaceman wrote: »
    If grown adults can't grab a cup of tea or whatever for a casual date after a week of contact then they're not worth the energy.

    I'd agree a week is long enough; if I exchange messages for too long, I find I've built up an entirely inaccurate picture of the person in my head. The last date I went on, he suggested meeting after 4 days of messages and I was fine with that. I don't like when people want to meet up after one message though; if you have exchanged a few messages, at least you know you will have a few things to talk about when you meet to help get over the initial awkwardness.


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    #4288
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Let down again by a potential date :mad: Was suppsoed to be meeting tomorrow night. All going well the last few days, spoke to me on the phone before the weekend. We were even texting when i was down at Electric Picnic and he was saying he was looking forward to thursday to make a good impression etc.

    So fast forward to yesterday and i text him and didnt hear back. So i mailed him as i saw him online and just said what was the story for tomorrow night to which is got this back:

    Hey how you doing? I'm ok, listen i'm sorry i've got alot going on at the mo with the ex and i thought i was ready to meet someone else but i'm really not.. I didn't want to lead you on by meeting you and getting involved i hope this makes sense.

    Eh, newsflash, you already did lead me on by saying you wanted to meet up with me, wtf is wrong with people?? :mad:


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    #4289
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    andreac wrote: »
    Let down again by a potential date :mad: Was suppsoed to be meeting tomorrow night. All going well the last few days, spoke to me on the phone before the weekend. We were even texting when i was down at Electric Picnic and he was saying he was looking forward to thursday to make a good impression etc.

    So fast forward to yesterday and i text him and didnt hear back. So i mailed him as i saw him online and just said what was the story for tomorrow night to which is got this back:

    Hey how you doing? I'm ok, listen i'm sorry i've got alot going on at the mo with the ex and i thought i was ready to meet someone else but i'm really not.. I didn't want to lead you on by meeting you and getting involved i hope this makes sense.

    Eh, newsflash, you already did lead me on by saying you wanted to meet up with me, wtf is wrong with people?? :mad:

    And he is still online!!! He should delete his account if he is not ready to meet someone!


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    #4290
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    mood wrote: »
    And he is still online!!! He should delete his account if he is not ready to meet someone!

    Yeah exactly, full of crap if you ask me. Why bother going to all that trouble, calls, texts arrangements if you feel like that? Surely you dont change your mind in a day!!


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    #4291
    Armaghmagic
    Registered Users Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭Armaghmagic


    andreac wrote: »
    mood wrote: »
    And he is still online!!! He should delete his account if he is not ready to meet someone!

    Yeah exactly, full of crap if you ask me. Why bother going to all that trouble, calls, texts arrangements if you feel like that? Surely you dont change your mind in a day!!

    But still you are better off knowing now.....nomatter how late. Would have been worse. If you met up and fell for him!


This discussion has been closed.
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