The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

seachto7

been chatting for a few days to someone now, but they are in Dublin and I am not! Bummer
It's a long way to go for a coffee.......

miec

I now read a profile and see the photos ... exchange one or two messages just to establish that they have manners and can write a pleasant message ... and then ask them for coffee. After all a coffee is just an hour out of our lives. I think personally that too many people make a mountain out of meeting.

I would have to agree with this, I have made the mistake in the past of e-mailing for ages building something in your head and then meeting that person and the awful moment of damn I don't fancy them.

Armaghmagic

Just a question:

How long would you wait (if you were lucky enough to find your girlfriend/boyfriend off a dating site) before you told your family and friends how you actually met? Or would you never tell them the truth......or would you tell them from the outset?

Honey-ec

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Just a question:

How long would you wait (if you were lucky enough to find your girlfriend/boyfriend off a dating site) before you told your family and friends how you actually met? Or would you never tell them the truth......or would you tell them from the outset?

Tell them from the outset. I live at home so my mother knows every time I'm going on a date. Like I said, at one stage I think she was beginning to think I was working as an escort or something.

Anyway, in other news, the POF guy I've been seeing for the past couple of weeks told me yesterday he's "mad" about me. I don't really know what to do with that, considering I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. I do really like him and like spending time with him, but I'm just not sure I want to be somebody's girlfriend. I did tell him that I have no idea what I'm doing, given that my marriage only ended last year, and he was very understanding. In fact, that's where the "mad about you" comment came from.

Armaghmagic

Just remind him of this. You don't want a relationship straight away, you really like him, want to keep seeing him but don't want to jump into anything serious until you are sure its what you want?? Maybe I'm wrong.

Larianne

Well if he knows that, then just keep going the way you're going.

RE: telling your friends/family how you met - a few of my friends know I'm doing the OD thing. But I'd be telling people we met in a pub as the guy/girl would be forever known as the 'internet person'.

wobblyknees

I was supposed to meet someone today and then someone else tomorrow. Both have fallen through. My life is over.

riveratom

wobblyknees wrote: »

I was supposed to meet someone today and then someone else tomorrow. Both have fallen through. My life is over.

How come?

It's a fickle game...hence the need to not take it too seriously...

Mr_Spaceman

Honey-ec wrote: »

Tell them from the outset. I live at home so my mother knows every time I'm going on a date. Like I said, at one stage I think she was beginning to think I was working as an escort or something.

I laughed... sorry!

:pac:

At least you've reassured her now!

Armaghmagic

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I laughed... sorry!

:pac:

At least you've reassured her now!

All joking aside it's part of the reason that I wont tell the ones at home.......they are old fashioned in that you meet one person and that's who you fight tooth and nail to keep!

riveratom

Larianne wrote: »

RE: telling your friends/family how you met - a few of my friends know I'm doing the OD thing. But I'd be telling people we met in a pub as the guy/girl would be forever known as the 'internet person'.

Hmmmm could be right, never really thought of it like that before....

Larianne

riveratom wrote: »

Hmmmm could be right, never really thought of it like that before....

Well, I just know from others who have met people from the net, the girlfriend/boyfriend has always been called 'the internet boyfriend/girlfriend'. Or 'they met on the internet' shock horror! :rolleyes:

The stigma is going but its definitely still there.

sharper

cantdecide wrote: »

I thought it was time to try something new and felt that I was ready to experience it, whatever it would bring. I had a pitiful experience and it really knocked the hell out of my confidence and set me back.

Ha yes - I remember one of the first girls I mailed asking what it was in her profile that had caused me to message her so she could take it out and have nobody like me contact her again.

Larianne

sharper wrote: »

Ha yes - I remember one of the first girls I mailed asking what it was in her profile that had caused me to message her so she could take it out and have nobody like me contact her again.

That is just nasty. Bloody hell.

Galvasean

You should have replied, "The whole package, now sod off!"

riveratom

sharper wrote: »

Ha yes - I remember one of the first girls I mailed asking what it was in her profile that had caused me to message her so she could take it out and have nobody like me contact her again.

I hope you got a nice 'can't come back from this' reply back to her....:)

miamee

Armaghmagic wrote: »

All joking aside it's part of the reason that I wont tell the ones at home.......they are old fashioned in that you meet one person and that's who you fight tooth and nail to keep!

riveratom wrote: »

Hmmmm could be right, never really thought of it like that before....

Larianne wrote: »

Well, I just know from others who have met people from the net, the girlfriend/boyfriend has always been called 'the internet boyfriend/girlfriend'. Or 'they met on the internet' shock horror! :rolleyes:

The stigma is going but its definitely still there.

Unfortunately, people making up stories instead of the truth about how they met is not going to help change the stigma.

ETA: yes I have told family & friends where I met the last guy I was seeing. I have been telling friends about it since I started using OD many moons ago

riveratom

miamee wrote: »

Unfortunately, people making up stories instead of the truth about how they met is not going to help change the stigma.

ETA: yes I have told family & friends where I met the last guy I was seeing. I have been telling friends about it since I started using OD many moons ago

That's an even better point!

Plus for the latest generation, meeting online will be like meeting in a bar. The stigma is fading fast all round.

Prick!

Honey-ec wrote: »

Re. the bits in bold. Yes, it's a dating site. Not a chat site. I'm sorry, but I'm with Galva's dictatorial tendencies here: if you want to chat, go to a chat room. And who said wanting sex is the only reason to be on a dating site??? People join them to - shock, horror! - date.

Really?

They used to have a "chat/email" option before too. So not everyone on the site is there to meet someone.

Honey-ec

Prick! wrote: »

Really?

They used to have a "chat/email" option before too. So not everyone on the site is there to meet someone.

Ask pretty much anyone what kind of site POF is and they'll say it's a dating site. But at this stage I think I could say the earth is round and you'd disagree with me, so I think we'll just leave it.

Larianne

miamee wrote: »

Unfortunately, people making up stories instead of the truth about how they met is not going to help change the stigma.

ETA: yes I have told family & friends where I met the last guy I was seeing. I have been telling friends about it since I started using OD many moons ago

Well in fairness, I meet most of the guys in bars so technically not really fibbing! :pac: But yeah I get you.

Galvasean

Honey-ec wrote: »

Ask pretty much anyone what kind of site POF is and they'll say it's a dating site.

The sites are hardly going to get rid of all the people using it as a glorified chatroom. They'd lose far too many hits and therefore advertising revenue.

Daveysil15

I've seen quite a few profiles on POF with headlines such as... "Willing to lie about how we met." Or, "If anyone asks we met in Tescos."

Prick!

Honey-ec wrote: »

Ask pretty much anyone what kind of site POF is and they'll say it's a dating site. But at this stage I think I could say the earth is round and you'd disagree with me, so I think we'll just leave it.

A lot of people use facebook for games. It's still a social network.

njs030

Prick! wrote: »

A lot of people use facebook for games. It's still a social network.

Well the games companies pay Facebook to allow them access to the site....not exactly comparable to people using an online dating site to make friends?

G-Money

Back on POF

fibix

Hi there, have been following this thread for some while and sad as I am - glad it's not only me going thru ups and downs of OD.
Question: girls, what do you think about travelling to see the guy for the first time... say he's in Limerick you're in Dublin. I kinda always expected them to come over first and I want to highlight FIRST. After that I have no prob with driving etc. Somehow this first time in my head belong to the guy. Or... meeting them half way, no prob with that at all.

Guys, what you think about this? The first meeting / date - who comes to who? Sounds so silly black on white

Armaghmagic

The lady who I have been chatting to for a few weeks and was due to meet up with me cancelled on me but says she should be about next weekend.

Sometimes I feel I should go back to organising 3/4 dates a week, at least that way I'm not pinning all my hopes on one woman! Gutted, as I put a few things off that I had planned for this weekend and therefore next weekend is now jammed so will be over 2 weeks before I get to meet her, and I reckon she will go off the idea before then :-(

andreac

fibix wrote: »

Hi there, have been following this thread for some while and sad as I am - glad it's not only me going thru ups and downs of OD.
Question: girls, what do you think about travelling to see the guy for the first time... say he's in Limerick you're in Dublin. I kinda always expected them to come over first and I want to highlight FIRST. After that I have no prob with driving etc. Somehow this first time in my head belong to the guy. Or... meeting them half way, no prob with that at all.

Guys, what you think about this? The first meeting / date - who comes to who? Sounds so silly black on white

Sorry but red flag there. I certainly wouldnt be driving all the way to Limerick from Dublin to meet a guy. I would be meeting half way. I wouldnt expect someone to drive all the way to me and vice versa so half way would be the norm. Is he really expecting you to drive all the way there to meet him??

I even meet people halfway if they live close to me for first dates. Why should one or the other put themselves out for a first date?

Is Limerick not a bit far for a first date or dating in general, just my opinion? A long distance relationship is hard alone, let alone doing it for a first date.

wobblyknees

riveratom wrote: »

How come?

It's a fickle game...hence the need to not take it too seriously...

Im only taking the mick and am very much not taking it seriously.