The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Armaghmagic

Honey-ec:

Fair play to you for making that decision and doing what's best in general for all parties, both yourself and any POFers you came across.

Some people, myself included, would just keep dating in order to bury our heads in the sand and not address the real issue.

I hope you get a nice fella soon, you deserve one!

Mr_Spaceman

Well, today's two dates went pretty well, I thought.

Lingering coffee with the first girl - all nice and easy chat. Lots in common.

Date two was a couple of drinks in a swanky hotel bar. Very elegant, classy and we seemed to hit it off. Again, on the same wavelength.

One of them just texted me and we've made kind-of plans to meet again, but she's going travelling for a month shortly so we'll see.

I got the impression both liked me, but I'll never know how the female mind works so I'm not even going to attempt to try now!

If nothing happens, que sera sera, I suppose. I'm pleased with myself for making the effort, if nothing else.

sharper

missrandomer wrote: »

i hadnt even put pics up when one guy started making nasty comments and then when i put pics up well that just started him off again.

Unfortunately there are quite a lot of people that just aren't very genuine online. Some are there just to be abusive because that's what does it for them, others will try to break down your self esteem to make you more receptive to hooking up with them. People are strange, really really strange.

And always remember the Greater Internet ****wad Theory

marshbaboon

That's actually a very selfless & emotionally responsible thing to do Honey-ec. You could just have easily kept stringing him along for the bit of comfort & security it would bring. A lot of people wouldn't have done the same.

I've been talking to a really nice girl. She lives a few counties away, but to be honest I've never even considered distance as a factor in the past. I've always made the effort if it seems right.

miamee

My spontaneous-ish coffee date organised yesterday for today didn't happen after all. We hadn't set a specific time. I had said I'd be free after two and he said he'd be in Dublin about 3pm. Sent him a message early in the day to say my earlier plans had fallen through but to let me know when he was around town and I'd come in on the bus to meet him. Heard nothing til 8pm!! He arrived at 7pm. Already had my own plans for the night then. Bit odd but I suppose sometimes stuff happens and plans change. Not that he was offering any explanation. Oh well!

Galvasean

Hmm, apparently I have an account on anotherfriend.com. I must have signed up ages ago and got put off by it's constant badgering for money. Anyway, as luck(?) would have it I was rooting for something in my junk mail just there and low and behold an email from anotherfriend.com was waiting for me since yesterday. Not even sure if I had an account I gave it a click anyway just to see what was up. Lo' and behold awaited me a very nice email from a blonde Mila Kunis lookalike, whom, on paper, seems quite compatible. I was abit suspicious so popped her profile pic into tineye.com and no matches, which is a good sign. Only problem is she lives in Galway (I'm in Dublin).
I'm not expecting any fireworks, but I'm very curious based on the sheer coincidence of it all. Let's see how this pans out.....

cantdecide

missrandomer wrote: »

Yeah well i was shocked by them kinda pics but it was more so the comments from one or two in particular. i hadnt even put pics up when one guy started making nasty comments and then when i put pics up well that just started him off again. i swear i was nearly in tears! Never had anything like that on okc. But i guess your right, there probably is some nice guys on it too, its just people like that just ruin it for everyone imo

I actually worked with a guy in NZ who used to boast about what he would be saying to girls on dating sites. His gf didn't seem to mind :rolleyes: The only person I met IRL that I actually hated.

Armaghmagic

Galvasean wrote: »

Hmm, apparently I have an account on anotherfriend.com. I must have signed up ages ago and got put off by it's constant badgering for money. Anyway, as luck(?) would have it I was rooting for something in my junk mail just there and low and behold an email from anotherfriend.com was waiting for me since yesterday. Not even sure if I had an account I gave it a click anyway just to see what was up. Lo' and behold awaited me a very nice email from a blonde Mila Kunis lookalike, whom, on paper, seems quite compatible. I was abit suspicious so popped her profile pic into tineye.com and no matches, which is a good sign. Only problem is she lives in Galway (I'm in Dublin).
I'm not expecting any fireworks, but I'm very curious based on the sheer coincidence of it all. Let's see how this pans out.....

Its meant to be, most things that pop up unexpectedly are! Best of luck with it.

What is tineye.com as a matter of interest?

CastorTroy

Galvasean wrote: »

Hmm, apparently I have an account on anotherfriend.com. I must have signed up ages ago and got put off by it's constant badgering for money. Anyway, as luck(?) would have it I was rooting for something in my junk mail just there and low and behold an email from anotherfriend.com was waiting for me since yesterday. Not even sure if I had an account I gave it a click anyway just to see what was up. Lo' and behold awaited me a very nice email from a blonde Mila Kunis lookalike, whom, on paper, seems quite compatible. I was abit suspicious so popped her profile pic into tineye.com and no matches, which is a good sign. Only problem is she lives in Galway (I'm in Dublin).
I'm not expecting any fireworks, but I'm very curious based on the sheer coincidence of it all. Let's see how this pans out.....

Pretty sure I could find it in me to travel a few hours across the country to meet someone who looked like Mila Kunis as well.

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Its meant to be, most things that pop up unexpectedly are! Best of luck with it.

What is tineye.com as a matter of interest?

It's an image searching tool that you can use to see if an image was just taken from another website. Kind of like google image search


So now I'm not sure whether to keep trying my hand at OD since I'm now thinking of getting a new job in Galway or Dublin.

Galvasean

CastorTroy wrote: »

Pretty sure I could find it in me to travel a few hours across the country to meet someone who looked like Mila Kunis as well.


So now I'm not sure whether to keep trying my hand at OD since I'm now thinking of getting a new job in Galway or Dublin.

Oi! Mila Kunis is mine bucko! :mad:

:pac: j/k. It's most likely a horrible sting.

riveratom

sharper wrote: »

Unfortunately there are quite a lot of people that just aren't very genuine online. Some are there just to be abusive because that's what does it for them, others will try to break down your self esteem to make you more receptive to hooking up with them. People are strange, really really strange.

And always remember the Greater Internet ****wad Theory

cantdecide wrote: »

I actually worked with a guy in NZ who used to boast about what he would be saying to girls on dating sites. His gf didn't seem to mind :rolleyes: The only person I met IRL that I actually hated.

Ah the old cowardly keyboard warrior. A big man insulting the fairer sex from the safety of his bedroom computer. Wouldn't say boo to a goose in real life, much less have the guts to approach a woman in real life either.

CastorTroy

Galvasean wrote: »

Oi! Mila Kunis is mine bucko! :mad:

:pac: j/k. It's most likely a horrible sting.

Ah forgot about her being there.... Galway it is then. :P

When are you thinking of meeting up, or still in the get to know phase?
Wonder if she has sisters that look like Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens.

Galvasean

Meh, it's only one message. Based on recent experience I don't really expect another and am'nt getting my hopes up.

miamee

Have any of you used Lovestruck.com? I signed up to it last year after seeing it advertised in London - they do have a Dublin version. There weren't a huge number of people on it then, I might go back to have a look at it.

The one feature it has that I have not seen elsewhere is that you have the option each day to say if you are 'free for lunch' or 'free tonight' so if you just wake up one morning and decide you want to do a lunch date - you can. Providing someone nearby also wants to of course

I can see how it would work in a huge city like London, but I'm not so sure if Dublin is big enough to be honest. It might be worth a look for the more spontaneous daters among you although you don't actually have to use that feature and can just use the regular OD features like messaging

Piliger

Re Badoo - no one seems to know much ?

Well, just FYI: they use 'points' purchased by CC to buy extra functions for limited periods. One function is to put you at the top of the search lists. In case anyone is wondering 100 points puts you at the top ... for 2 hours :rolleyes: So I guess you need to chose a peak time in the evening to execute that choice ... maybe 10pm ... ?

Anyone else know much about Badoo ? It seems a lot better than POF for women in the bracket I am searching .. 40-50. Though a very high percentage are eastern european - not that that is a problem

Armaghmagic

Do you ever be conversing with someone and then all of a sudden......NOTHING!

How long do you wait to send another message or do you just leave it in fear of seeming desperate.

As people have said, I don't mind if someone doesn't reply to a first message or after a date that they felt may not have gone well, but from chatting away to nowt is a bit odd.

Again I don't know what people have going on in their lives either.

missrandomer

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Do you ever be conversing with someone and then all of a sudden......NOTHING!

How long do you wait to send another message or do you just leave it in fear of seeming desperate.

As people have said, I don't mind if someone doesn't reply to a first message or after a date that they felt may not have gone well, but from chatting away to nowt is a bit odd.

Again I don't know what people have going on in their lives either.

I supose it would depend on how long it has been since you last heard from them. If it was a week or that then maby drop them a light hearted txt. but other than that maby leave it, could be any of number of reasons for them to have stopped, issues at home, work etc, im sure they will get back in touch when they have a chance.

marshbaboon

Piliger wrote: »

Re Badoo - no one seems to know much ?

Well, just FYI: they use 'points' purchased by CC to buy extra functions for limited periods. One function is to put you at the top of the search lists. In case anyone is wondering 100 points puts you at the top ... for 2 hours :rolleyes: So I guess you need to chose a peak time in the evening to execute that choice ... maybe 10pm ... ?

Anyone else know much about Badoo ? It seems a lot better than POF for women in the bracket I am searching .. 40-50. Though a very high percentage are eastern european - not that that is a problem

There are free ways to raise your profile, using the app and stuff. I haven't bothered.

The message and chat function are combined. You can only send two to begin with if the other person doesn't reply.

It's really pretty basic and straightforward.

Galvasean

miamee wrote: »

Have any of you used Lovestruck.com? I signed up to it last year after seeing it advertised in London - they do have a Dublin version. There weren't a huge number of people on it then, I might go back to have a look at it.

The one feature it has that I have not seen elsewhere is that you have the option each day to say if you are 'free for lunch' or 'free tonight' so if you just wake up one morning and decide you want to do a lunch date - you can. Providing someone nearby also wants to of course

I can see how it would work in a huge city like London, but I'm not so sure if Dublin is big enough to be honest. It might be worth a look for the more spontaneous daters among you although you don't actually have to use that feature and can just use the regular OD features like messaging

The OKC mobile app has something that. I'd imagine a woman using it would be akin to ringing the dinner bell for a school of hungry sharks! :eek:

miamee

Galvasean wrote: »

The OKC mobile app has something that. I'd imagine a woman using it would be akin to ringing the dinner bell for a school of hungry sharks! :eek:

Ha, you could be right there Is that the shout out thing on OKC? I've never used that. In fact I turned off the location thing altogether...kinda freaky when it tells you someone is nearby and you realise its because he's sitting in front of you on the bus!
Just tried to login to Lovestruck account there via the app but I can't remember my p/w and the app doesn't seek to have a 'forgotten password' function. Useless.

LegacyUser

hey guys and gals, just a question, when girls say "wants to date but nothing serious" does that mean that they are up for casual sex & just dont wanna show up under intimate encounter?

Colours

LyndaMcL wrote: »

It's all good. Onwards and upwards! Bit gutted obviously, but it was a few months, no love of my life romance. Met plenty of lovely guy from OD, so I'm sure it'll happen again when I jump back into it.

It's perfectly understandable and normal to feel upset after investing the effort and time in a guy or girl for a few weeks, only for it to go off on a tangent to nowhere where you're left feeling hurt and confused. That's how I've been feeling after things ended on an abrupt and not very pleasant note 2 weeks ago with the guy I'd been seeing through OD for the best part of 2 months. I'd posted on this thread a few weeks back when I'd basically written him off as the communication from him was few and far between. Well as it turned out that we did connect again afterwards and went out on several more dates which all went well. A contributing factor to these successful rendezvous was that I maintained a polite and reserved front throughout them all despite the fact that I found some of the things he said and did to be insensitive and condescending. He was also very tight with his money and despite the fact that he has a very good job and I had lost my job soon after going out with him, everything was paid for 50:50. In fact he made even more savings with this arrangement because I'm not drinking alcohol at the moment and since we took turns paying for the drinks and he rapidly guzzled his way through pints of Erdinger while I was on the diet coke which is about half the price, I was kind of supplementing him!

Honey-ec wrote: »

This. I've definitely found that men who were perfectly happy to text constantly suddenly feel the need to invoke all sorts of "rules" about when to text again once you've been on an actual date. It makes no sense to me, but then very little about the whole dating scenario does. Give it a few days and if you still haven't heard from him, drop him a breezy text but be prepared to move on.

I can completely relate to this as I perceived this very trait in the aforementioned man early on in our encounters. I am not a big texter myself but in the communications I have with others there is generally a natural back and forth of messages before the communication wraps up. With him it felt almost like his network provider only allowed him to send one free text per day or something. So after our first date on the Saturday where there was lots of mutual chemistry and sparks between us, I didn't hear a word from him later that night to see if I'd got home ok and nothing the following day either. So I called him on Sunday evening and little did I know that in doing this I had committed a big dating no-no in his book of rules. It was only until a couple of weeks later that he spelled out just how out of order this was in his eyes because it was clearly his turn to contact me and I had thrown a spanner in the works by calling him on a whim like that. What he said next really took me aback: he said that after I'd called him like that he'd initially decided not to see me again on that basis but changed his mind because he thought I was a nice person. He said this all with utter conviction, as if it was completely obvious and a cut and dry misdemeanour as if it were a illegal move in a game of draughts or something. I gasped inwardly as he was saying this to me but outwardly I kept on the mask of civility and friendliness even though I felt really hurt by what he'd just said and nor did I forget it either. Fast forward another few dates which went similarly well until the last one a couple of weeks ago when I eventually confronted him about these issues. On the money issue he said he had offered to pay for certain things which is true but the gesture was feebly made at the time and I hadn't felt comfortable enough in how it came across to take him up on it. As regards what he'd said about initially deciding not to see me again because I'd phoned him, he stood just as staunchly by this view as the last time he'd expressed it and there seemed to be no swaying him in his convictions on this so basically reached an abrupt impasse then and there and we parted ways that night and haven't seen eachother again since.

As to the question why did I hang around him after getting wind of these not particularly endearing qualities in him, the answer is simply that I was and still am attracted to him and I would like if he were to try to get back in touch with me and see if we could work out those little bumps on the road but it seems that he's not going to do that so it's best if I write him off and get him out of my mind as soon I can.

AnnyHallsal

Colours wrote: »

It's perfectly understandable and normal to feel upset after investing the effort and time in a guy or girl for a few weeks, only for it to go off on a tangent to nowhere where you're left feeling hurt and confused. That's how I've been feeling after things ended on an abrupt and not very pleasant note 2 weeks ago with the guy I'd been seeing through OD for the best part of 2 months. I'd posted on this thread a few weeks back when I'd basically written him off as the communication from him was few and far between. Well as it turned out that we did connect again afterwards and went out on several more dates which all went well. A contributing factor to these successful rendezvous was that I maintained a polite and reserved front throughout them all despite the fact that I found some of the things he said and did to be insensitive and condescending. He was also very tight with his money and despite the fact that he has a very good job and I had lost my job soon after going out with him, everything was paid for 50:50. In fact he made even more savings with this arrangement because I'm not drinking alcohol at the moment and since we took turns paying for the drinks and he rapidly guzzled his way through pints of Erdinger while I was on the diet coke which is about half the price, I was kind of supplementing him!



I can completely relate to this as I perceived this very trait in the aforementioned man early on in our encounters. I am not a big texter myself but in the communications I have with others there is generally a natural back and forth of messages before the communication wraps up. With him it felt almost like his network provider only allowed him to send one free text per day or something. So after our first date on the Saturday where there was lots of mutual chemistry and sparks between us, I didn't hear a word from him later that night to see if I'd got home ok and nothing the following day either. So I called him on Sunday evening and little did I know that in doing this I had committed a big dating no-no in his book of rules. It was only until a couple of weeks later that he spelled out just how out of order this was in his eyes because it was clearly his turn to contact me and I had thrown a spanner in the works by calling him on a whim like that. What he said next really took me aback: he said that after I'd called him like that he'd initially decided not to see me again on that basis but changed his mind because he thought I was a nice person. He said this all with utter conviction, as if it was completely obvious and a cut and dry misdemeanour as if it were a illegal move in a game of draughts or something. I gasped inwardly as he was saying this to me but outwardly I kept on the mask of civility and friendliness even though I felt really hurt by what he'd just said and nor did I forget it either. Fast forward another few dates which went similarly well until the last one a couple of weeks ago when I eventually confronted him about these issues. On the money issue he said he had offered to pay for certain things which is true but the gesture was feebly made at the time and I hadn't felt comfortable enough in how it came across to take him up on it. As regards what he'd said about initially deciding not to see me again because I'd phoned him, he stood just as staunchly by this view as the last time he'd expressed it and there seemed to be no swaying him in his convictions on this so basically reached an abrupt impasse then and there and we parted ways that night and haven't seen eachother again since.

As to the question why did I hang around him after getting wind of these not particularly endearing qualities in him, the answer is simply that I was and still am attracted to him and I would like if he were to try to get back in touch with me and see if we could work out those little bumps on the road but it seems that he's not going to do that so it's best if I write him off and get him out of my mind as soon I can.

I'm not saying this to console you - he sounds terrible! Those rules are mindbogglingly stupid.

andreac

Colours wrote: »

It's perfectly understandable and normal to feel upset after investing the effort and time in a guy or girl for a few weeks, only for it to go off on a tangent to nowhere where you're left feeling hurt and confused. That's how I've been feeling after things ended on an abrupt and not very pleasant note 2 weeks ago with the guy I'd been seeing through OD for the best part of 2 months. I'd posted on this thread a few weeks back when I'd basically written him off as the communication from him was few and far between. Well as it turned out that we did connect again afterwards and went out on several more dates which all went well. A contributing factor to these successful rendezvous was that I maintained a polite and reserved front throughout them all despite the fact that I found some of the things he said and did to be insensitive and condescending. He was also very tight with his money and despite the fact that he has a very good job and I had lost my job soon after going out with him, everything was paid for 50:50. In fact he made even more savings with this arrangement because I'm not drinking alcohol at the moment and since we took turns paying for the drinks and he rapidly guzzled his way through pints of Erdinger while I was on the diet coke which is about half the price, I was kind of supplementing him!



I can completely relate to this as I perceived this very trait in the aforementioned man early on in our encounters. I am not a big texter myself but in the communications I have with others there is generally a natural back and forth of messages before the communication wraps up. With him it felt almost like his network provider only allowed him to send one free text per day or something. So after our first date on the Saturday where there was lots of mutual chemistry and sparks between us, I didn't hear a word from him later that night to see if I'd got home ok and nothing the following day either. So I called him on Sunday evening and little did I know that in doing this I had committed a big dating no-no in his book of rules. It was only until a couple of weeks later that he spelled out just how out of order this was in his eyes because it was clearly his turn to contact me and I had thrown a spanner in the works by calling him on a whim like that. What he said next really took me aback: he said that after I'd called him like that he'd initially decided not to see me again on that basis but changed his mind because he thought I was a nice person. He said this all with utter conviction, as if it was completely obvious and a cut and dry misdemeanour as if it were a illegal move in a game of draughts or something. I gasped inwardly as he was saying this to me but outwardly I kept on the mask of civility and friendliness even though I felt really hurt by what he'd just said and nor did I forget it either. Fast forward another few dates which went similarly well until the last one a couple of weeks ago when I eventually confronted him about these issues. On the money issue he said he had offered to pay for certain things which is true but the gesture was feebly made at the time and I hadn't felt comfortable enough in how it came across to take him up on it. As regards what he'd said about initially deciding not to see me again because I'd phoned him, he stood just as staunchly by this view as the last time he'd expressed it and there seemed to be no swaying him in his convictions on this so basically reached an abrupt impasse then and there and we parted ways that night and haven't seen eachother again since.

As to the question why did I hang around him after getting wind of these not particularly endearing qualities in him, the answer is simply that I was and still am attracted to him and I would like if he were to try to get back in touch with me and see if we could work out those little bumps on the road but it seems that he's not going to do that so it's best if I write him off and get him out of my mind as soon I can.

Omg, you would actually want to see a weirdo like this again?? Seriously, bullet dodged.
Sounds like a complete control freak and that looks like only the tip of the ice berg.:eek:

riveratom

Colours wrote: »

It's perfectly understandable and normal to feel upset after investing the effort and time in a guy or girl for a few weeks, only for it to go off on a tangent to nowhere where you're left feeling hurt and confused. That's how I've been feeling after things ended on an abrupt and not very pleasant note 2 weeks ago with the guy I'd been seeing through OD for the best part of 2 months. I'd posted on this thread a few weeks back when I'd basically written him off as the communication from him was few and far between. Well as it turned out that we did connect again afterwards and went out on several more dates which all went well. A contributing factor to these successful rendezvous was that I maintained a polite and reserved front throughout them all despite the fact that I found some of the things he said and did to be insensitive and condescending. He was also very tight with his money and despite the fact that he has a very good job and I had lost my job soon after going out with him, everything was paid for 50:50. In fact he made even more savings with this arrangement because I'm not drinking alcohol at the moment and since we took turns paying for the drinks and he rapidly guzzled his way through pints of Erdinger while I was on the diet coke which is about half the price, I was kind of supplementing him!



I can completely relate to this as I perceived this very trait in the aforementioned man early on in our encounters. I am not a big texter myself but in the communications I have with others there is generally a natural back and forth of messages before the communication wraps up. With him it felt almost like his network provider only allowed him to send one free text per day or something. So after our first date on the Saturday where there was lots of mutual chemistry and sparks between us, I didn't hear a word from him later that night to see if I'd got home ok and nothing the following day either. So I called him on Sunday evening and little did I know that in doing this I had committed a big dating no-no in his book of rules. It was only until a couple of weeks later that he spelled out just how out of order this was in his eyes because it was clearly his turn to contact me and I had thrown a spanner in the works by calling him on a whim like that. What he said next really took me aback: he said that after I'd called him like that he'd initially decided not to see me again on that basis but changed his mind because he thought I was a nice person. He said this all with utter conviction, as if it was completely obvious and a cut and dry misdemeanour as if it were a illegal move in a game of draughts or something. I gasped inwardly as he was saying this to me but outwardly I kept on the mask of civility and friendliness even though I felt really hurt by what he'd just said and nor did I forget it either. Fast forward another few dates which went similarly well until the last one a couple of weeks ago when I eventually confronted him about these issues. On the money issue he said he had offered to pay for certain things which is true but the gesture was feebly made at the time and I hadn't felt comfortable enough in how it came across to take him up on it. As regards what he'd said about initially deciding not to see me again because I'd phoned him, he stood just as staunchly by this view as the last time he'd expressed it and there seemed to be no swaying him in his convictions on this so basically reached an abrupt impasse then and there and we parted ways that night and haven't seen eachother again since.

As to the question why did I hang around him after getting wind of these not particularly endearing qualities in him, the answer is simply that I was and still am attracted to him and I would like if he were to try to get back in touch with me and see if we could work out those little bumps on the road but it seems that he's not going to do that so it's best if I write him off and get him out of my mind as soon I can.

That is one of the weirdest things I have ever heard....ever. So everything is going great, sparks are flying, and then he reprimands you for calling him as it's not part of the 'plan'.

Scary stuff...

I'd say you are lucky to have gotten away!!

Honey-ec

Colours wrote: »

As to the question why did I hang around him after getting wind of these not particularly endearing qualities in him, the answer is simply that I was and still am attracted to him and I would like if he were to try to get back in touch with me and see if we could work out those little bumps on the road but it seems that he's not going to do that so it's best if I write him off and get him out of my mind as soon I can.

Seriously, Colours, I know you liked the guy but you are well shot. None of those things are "little bumps" they are major red flags and would have sent me running the first time they came up. So he arbitrarily wrote you off because of some perceived breaking of "the rules" on your part, then deigned to "allow" you another chance? I'm sorry, but he sounds like an utter twat.

Daveysil15

There seems to be a lot of shooting going on. There are bullets been dodged everywhere.

cantdecide

@Colours; do you think his behaviour would have got better or worse as time went on?

You should only let this guy back into your life if you fancy a bit of drama because that's all that you will get if you continue with this guy.

Northclare

I learned a lot from getting burnt a few times throughout the years.

I got an absolute scalding a few years ago,thought she was the woman of my dreams,but I found out it was all a delusion...

For me personally I'm very fussy now,I used to settle for attraction and all it got me was highs and lows.

Now I won't settle for anything less.

It's a two way thing.


ON MY PROFILE I HAVE ON IT WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER NOT MY EXPECTATIONS OF A POTENTIAL PARTNER.....

IT SEEMS TO WEED OUT THE MTV WANNABES AND PRINCESSES

miamee

Daveysil15 wrote: »

There seems to be a lot of shooting going on. There are bullets been dodged everywhere.

@Colours - to be honest, he sounds like an absolute ninny. If he managed to make you feel bad about yourself in the first few dates, I doubt things were going to get any better.