The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Galvasean

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Little bit freaked that someone who seemed pretty nice could have a full blown conversation for about an hour and then send me a message full of swearing and abuse just because I don't listen exclusively to heavy metal. Is that REALLY a criteria for a relationship? :pac::pac::pac:

Hmm, I think I may have messaged his sister a while back. Same as yourself we were had been exchanging a few mails and all was going well, until I mentioned that I had been at the recent Red Hot chili Peppers gig and loved it. She went totally bat-shit after that. Just ranting that RCHP are 'a terrible live band' and 'have never played a good gig' live etc. I tried to move the topic of conversation to something else but she kept coming back to her anti RHCP rant (my profile says they are my favourite band so I don't know what she was expecting). She then had a goo at me for liking Newton Faukner.
Interestingly enough we had plenty of favoured bands in common too, but she wasn't interested in that - just giving out to me for the stuff she didn't like. I don't get it. We had been getting on fine before that.
Some people place WAY too much importance in musical taste. You don't have to be in complete agreement with your partner about every single band in existence. That said, anybody who flips out over differences in music taste isn't worth the time of day.

edit: she was a metal head too BTW. Is it just me or is metal very divisive on OD? I mean, we have psycho metalheads like myself and LyndaMcL have encountered... and then on the other end of the spectrum there's the very common "I like all kinds of music... except metal!" girl (perhaps put off after meeting the aforementioned psycho metal fans?)

Esoteric_

Galvasean wrote: »

Hmm, I think I may have messaged his sister a while back. Same as yourself we were had been exchanging a few mails and all was going well, until I mentioned that I had been at the recent Red Hot chili Peppers gig and loved it. She went totally bat-shit after that. Just ranting that RCHP are 'a terrible live band' and 'have never played a good gig' live etc. I tried to move the topic of conversation to something else but she kept coming back to her anti RHCP rant (my profile says they are my favourite band so I don't know what she was expecting). She then had a goo at me for liking Newton Faukner.
Interestingly enough we had plenty of favoured bands in common too, but she wasn't interested in that - just giving out to me for the stuff she didn't like. I don't get it. We had been getting on fine before that.
Some people place WAY too much importance in musical taste. You don't have to be in complete agreement with your partner about every single band in existence. That said, anybody who flips out over differences in music taste isn't worth the time of day.

Oh god. She sounds as bad as him. And who the hell doesn't love Newton Faulkner, in fairness? The guy's absolutely amaaaaaaazing, and even better live than on cd.

But yeah, he was like that too. No interest in the stuff we had in common, only the one or two things we didn't. Bit stupid only going for someone with the same musical taste. I used to listen almost exclusively to rock/metal, then dated someone who was a trad performer for a year or so and now love trad music. I figure having everything in common can get boring.

Galvasean

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I figure having everything in common can get boring.

I figure what some people really want is a cloning machine...

Esoteric_

Galvasean wrote: »

I figure what some people really want is a cloning machine...

Narcissism at it's finest!

Crann na Beatha

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wobblyknees

Aquila wrote: »

Has anyone used "MatchAffinity",''Parship'',''Cupidrocks'',and ''Match.com'' before if so how did ye find them?

I found them using Google.

Crann na Beatha

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Piliger

Galvasean wrote: »

I figure what some people really want is a cloning machine...

I agree. They seem to have developed this daft idea that the more common their interests and tastes are ... the higher the chances that they will fall in love and happy ever after ... duh :rolleyes:

I say in my profile that I want someone who shares "some similar and some different interests". For the very reasons you set out.

Sweet Jones

Thought I'd throw up a bit of musings.
Some kind Boardsies gave my POF profile a once over and offered some suggestions (thanks guys!). I made the appropriate changes and... not a tap of difference.
Before cashing out completely I thought I'd try OKC just to see if there was something about the clientele on POF that wasn't working for me. I was amazed that I'd ever wasted my time sifting through such typo-riddled nonsense. People seem to have put some effort into their OKC profiles.

Long story short, started talking to someone. Good fun, smart and cute. Meeting her this weekend.

Sorry for the ranting like a bell-end and if I was disparaging to those of you who have been Poffing with success. Not sure if you've had similar experiences or not...

missrandomer

Sweet Jones wrote: »

Thought I'd throw up a bit of musings.
Some kind Boardsies gave my POF profile a once over and offered some suggestions (thanks guys!). I made the appropriate changes and... not a tap of difference.
Before cashing out completely I thought I'd try OKC just to see if there was something about the clientele on POF that wasn't working for me. I was amazed that I'd ever wasted my time sifting through such typo-riddled nonsense. People seem to have put some effort into their OKC profiles.

Long story short, started talking to someone. Good fun, smart and cute. Meeting her this weekend.

Sorry for the ranting like a bell-end and if I was disparaging to those of you who have been Poffing with success. Not sure if you've had similar experiences or not...

Personnally i prefare okc, i was on that first and found it good, i signed up to pof then..... and i was litterally like this ...:eek:
im more used to it now, and boardsies told me to chill basically as there is some nice people on it too, and they were right

people put more effort into okc but there isnt as much people on it, maby thats just me though

Sweet Jones

missrandomer wrote: »

but there isnt as much people on it, maby thats just me though

One good one is all it takes...

missrandomer

Sweet Jones wrote: »

One good one is all it takes...

someone sounds smitten already

Honey-ec

missrandomer wrote: »

someone sounds smitten already

Considering he hasn't even met her yet, I'd be cautioning about investing too much in it before the fact.

Sweet Jones

Haha, I've not gone overboard just yet. Just saying it doesn't matter if you're fishing in a smaller pond if you get what you're looking for.

Varied

Honey-ec wrote: »

Considering he hasn't even met her yet, I'd be cautioning about investing too much in it before the fact.

:rolleyes:

Good luck mate, hope it goes well.

missrandomer

Sweet Jones wrote: »

Haha, I've not gone overboard just yet. Just saying it doesn't matter if you're fishing in a smaller pond if you get what you're looking for.

yep your right but bear Honey-ec advise as sometimes people can get too emotionaly involved only to be let down if that makes sense.

not that you will be, im sure its going to go really well. Good Luck

Larianne

I dunno. I think OkCupid can be just as bad as PoF. I set up a OkCupid account on Tuesday to critque a friends profile and within 10 minutes of being on the site, with nothing more than the bare minimum details filled out, ie age, sex, location, I got a mail asking if I liked younger men. So it's just as bad/good as PoF, just smaller quantaties of both the good, the bad and the ugly.

(My friend informed me my advice helped. He ended up chatting to 4 girls after taking my advice. oh yah. :cool:)

IT-Guy

So another OD experience bites the dust before even a date! Had been messaging a girl for a few days, getting along great and asked her out for a coffee. She said yes and when I tried to arrange a time she got very wary and basically said it was because of her previous experiences from online dating that she wanted to get to know me a bit better first before meeting. As we'd been discussing OD experiences I knew what she was talking about and agreed. Anyway we swapped numbers and facebook info, were texting quite a bit and asked her again when would she like to meet up, no reply. Texted her this morning and he asked me if I was ok with waiting a while to meet up. Told her I was a bit puzzled as she'd already told me she liked me, had seen my fb photos, thought I was cute, knew I was 'real', I'd told her I thought she was very attractive and a lovely person and would love to meet her. She replies 'so you're not ok with it'. Was starting to feel annoyed at this point as her suspicion that I was looking only for sex was starting to get in the way of simply meeting up for a coffee! Anyways told her we should probably just leave it be, she calls me an asshole and texts a bit later to say sorry for calling me an asshole. Cue a few more texts asking why I didn't want to meet her! Anyways finished things by saying her suspicion was off putting and best of luck. I don't message many girls but the ones that reply seem to be a bit damaged or overly wary! Need to change tack or give up OD altogether I think.

Sorry for wall of text rant :pac:

AnnyHallsal

IT-Guy wrote: »

So another OD experience bites the dust before even a date! Had been messaging a girl for a few days, getting along great and asked her out for a coffee. She said yes and when I tried to arrange a time she got very wary and basically said it was because of her previous experiences from online dating that she wanted to get to know me a bit better first before meeting. As we'd been discussing OD experiences I knew what she was talking about and agreed. Anyway we swapped numbers and facebook info, were texting quite a bit and asked her again when would she like to meet up, no reply. Texted her this morning and he asked me if I was ok with waiting a while to meet up. Told her I was a bit puzzled as she'd already told me she liked me, had seen my fb photos, thought I was cute, knew I was 'real', I'd told her I thought she was very attractive and a lovely person and would love to meet her. She replies 'so you're not ok with it'. Was starting to feel annoyed at this point as her suspicion that I was looking only for sex was starting to get in the way of simply meeting up for a coffee! Anyways told her we should probably just leave it be, she calls me an asshole and texts a bit later to say sorry for calling me an asshole. Cue a few more texts asking why I didn't want to meet her! Anyways finished things by saying her suspicion was off putting and best of luck. I don't message many girls but the ones that reply seem to be a bit damaged or overly wary! Need to change tack or give up OD altogether I think.

Sorry for wall of text rant :pac:

From what you've said it just sounds like you've had a run of bad luck. Other than keeping an eye for red-flag behavior it doesn't sound like you need to change what you're doing.

Giving up is another question. A lot of people feel the need to take a break. Online dating ain't easy :pac:

MizzWolfie

I've gotten 'blah blah wants to meet you' updates from pof. The guys in question never seem to message. What is this meet me thing? Does it indicate a lack of real interest if they don't bother to message afterwards?

IT-Guy

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

From what you've said it just sounds like you've had a run of bad luck. Other than keeping an eye for red-flag behavior it doesn't sound like you need to change what you're doing.

Giving up is another question. A lot of people feel the need to take a break. Online dating ain't easy :pac:

True dat! Just gets annoying when you're getting on with someone and they want you to wait weeks before meeting up :rolleyes:

AnnyHallsal

IT-Guy wrote: »

True dat! Just gets annoying when you're getting on with someone and they want you to wait weeks before meeting up :rolleyes:

From anecdotal evidence it seems the ones one is into tend to not be that into it, and the ones one isn't into tend to be really into it. Just like real life!

riveratom

IT-Guy wrote: »

So another OD experience bites the dust before even a date! Had been messaging a girl for a few days, getting along great and asked her out for a coffee. She said yes and when I tried to arrange a time she got very wary and basically said it was because of her previous experiences from online dating that she wanted to get to know me a bit better first before meeting. As we'd been discussing OD experiences I knew what she was talking about and agreed. Anyway we swapped numbers and facebook info, were texting quite a bit and asked her again when would she like to meet up, no reply. Texted her this morning and he asked me if I was ok with waiting a while to meet up. Told her I was a bit puzzled as she'd already told me she liked me, had seen my fb photos, thought I was cute, knew I was 'real', I'd told her I thought she was very attractive and a lovely person and would love to meet her. She replies 'so you're not ok with it'. Was starting to feel annoyed at this point as her suspicion that I was looking only for sex was starting to get in the way of simply meeting up for a coffee! Anyways told her we should probably just leave it be, she calls me an asshole and texts a bit later to say sorry for calling me an asshole. Cue a few more texts asking why I didn't want to meet her! Anyways finished things by saying her suspicion was off putting and best of luck. I don't message many girls but the ones that reply seem to be a bit damaged or overly wary! Need to change tack or give up OD altogether I think.

Sorry for wall of text rant :pac:

What is wrong with people? Seriously?!

Keep on truckin' man

riveratom

I was chatting with two girls, both went silent after I breezily suggested meeting up sometime. One had even replied to a mail after a pause of about a week, then nothing.

It's amazing really, loads of single women out there, loads saying they can't find a man, yet they have loads of choice on these sites.

IT-Guy

riveratom wrote: »

What is wrong with people? Seriously?!

Keep on truckin' man

Cheers! Yeah what's the point of being on a dating site if you're not gonna date?

IT-Guy

riveratom wrote: »

I was chatting with two girls, both went silent after I breezily suggested meeting up sometime. One had even replied to a mail after a pause of about a week, then nothing.

It's amazing really, loads of single women out there, loads saying they can't find a man, yet they have loads of choice on these sites.

Bizarre, there are times when people need to realise it's a dating site, not a 'sure thing' site!

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Larianne

Aquila wrote: »

Aside from the smart ass comments has anyone actually used these sites and if so what did you make of them?

I recall some people saying they had success with match.com But be careful, I think that's the site where they sneakily try to continue taking your money.

riveratom

Aquila wrote: »

Aside from the smart ass comments has anyone actually used these sites and if so what did you make of them?

Yep, both Match and Cupid Rocks are good.

smileyj1987

I just called every name under the sun on pof . Some people should not be allowed use the Internet .
It states on my profile : I haven't got any paternal instincts and I am not searching for anybody who has children because at this stage in my life I am not ready for any major commitments or want to start a family . So it would be unfair on you to try and get to know me because I won't put any effort in or want to dat you .
I know some people might find that abit crude but its how I feel and I don't want to string anybody along .
So any I recieved a mail from a woman tonight clicked on her profile and had a look around and it states that she has a child . So I messaged her back and told her I didn't feel we would be compatible . So she then messaged me back asking why . So I messaged he back saying that we are heading in different paths on the road that is life and I don't think it will work .
Then I get a message back saying well you never know what could happen and it could work out . So after a couple of mails back and forth she was bugging me because I tried to be nice and suggested maybe she read through my profile properly and then when it dawned on her I wasn't interested in children she sent me a load of abuse so I just blocked her . What annoys me most is the fact that it states it in my profile what I am looking for and she didn't even bother reading it .