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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

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    #4742
    CazMarch
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭CazMarch


    I actually think everyone should be made to post a photo on a profile. It's all well and good saying you may be shallow, but ultimately, and I know this has been said to death, we're on DATING sites. There has to be a connection - be it physical attraction, or a a combination of content of messages and the picture you see on the profile.


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    #4743
    CastorTroy
    Registered Users Posts: 29,038 ✭✭✭✭CastorTroy


    Not just men who do it. Looking quickly at search results I get, there are only 24 women of the first 90 that have photos. And then some of the ones without photos even put in their profile that they won't reply to guys with no photo.
    And I'd prefer someone to reject me from the get go rather than being rejected after sending a photo


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    #4744
    Piliger
    Registered Users Posts: 6,741 ✭✭✭Piliger


    CastorTroy wrote: »
    Not just men who do it. Looking quickly at search results I get, there are only 24 women of the first 90 that have photos. And then some of the ones without photos even put in their profile that they won't reply to guys with no photo.
    And I'd prefer someone to reject me from the get go rather than being rejected after sending a photo

    One would imagine that they would realise this obvious fact. And you don't even mention those who's photos are not even of them ... but flowers, celebs or party groups.


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    #4745
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Piliger wrote: »
    One would imagine that they would realise this obvious fact. And you don't even mention those who's photos are not even of them ... but flowers, celebs or party groups.

    Bitchy as it seems, I report those profiles. Most sites clearly say you aren't allowed have a profile pic that does not clearly show your face. It's just a way of people trying to have their cake and eat it - wanting to show up in everyone's searches, but not reveal their face.

    In other news: Was at a gaff session today. Overheard a bunch of lads talk about the various fake POF profiles they made, while comparing how many messages they got. Apparently the 'arse double in films' got loads of messages :rolleyes:
    Just a brief glimpse of the 'other side# of online dating I guess.


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    #4746
    Armaghmagic
    Registered Users Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭Armaghmagic


    Every time I chat to the girl from Ballymena she is all up for meeting but she seems to only reply when I send a text, she will never send one off her own bat.

    Anyway as I can't sleep I checked out when I actually asked her out and it was August 20th.....so I am going to give her till Thursday to reply or else she can get the "It's one month on since I asked you out and not even a date planned.....you are the weakest link, goodbye".


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    #4747
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    miec wrote: »
    Well during the 4-6 week period I was on POF I got nothing but cock messages or I am into older women messages and this evening a guy offering his sexual services for a fee. I e-mailed several men that had nice profiles and were interesting but radio silence. I am done with POF I really cannot tolerate the incivility, rudeness etc and I had very clearly stated that I was looking for a relationship. I realise that it is very unlikely that I will meet anyone as I can't bear the night scene either as I am too old for all that ****. I will say that years back I had brilliant experiences with online dating, it really was the thing for me but not anymore.

    I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience with it. I can't understand how the site allows men to upload photos of their cock in the first place. I thought any sort of nuidity was not allowed. POF should work harder to stomp out that sort of crap and let the ordinary decent people get on with it. It's sad because it makes it more difficult for the decent guys who just want to meet women and use the site for its intended purpose.


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    #4748
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    miamee wrote: »
    All I meant was an Irish man would never stop a woman in the street to ask her was she single and ask for her number, lol.

    Proper order too, do you think it's appropriate that a guy stops you on the street and asks you for your number?!?


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    #4749
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Proper order too, do you think it's appropriate that a guy stops you on the street and asks you for your number?!?

    Well do you think its appropriate for a guy to ask a girl in a nite club for her number?


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    #4750
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Well do you think its appropriate for a guy to ask a girl in a nite club for her number?

    A girl in a nightclub is more probably single, I personally have never accepted that it is appropriate behaviour for a guy to ask a girl out, or ask a girl for her phone number or whatever, without knowing if she is single. It's something I'd NEVER do myself. It smacks of desperation and bad manners in my opinion.


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    #4751
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    A girl in a nightclub is more probably single, I personally have never accepted that it is appropriate behaviour for a guy to ask a girl out, or ask a girl for her phone number or whatever, without knowing if she is single. It's something I'd NEVER do myself. It smacks of desperation and bad manners in my opinion.

    I disagree. There's just as much chance of the girl on the street been single as the girl in a club. If its inappropriate for a guy to ask a girl out or ask for her phone number, then how the hell is he supposed to meet anyone? :confused:


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    #4752
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    I disagree. There's just as much chance of the girl on the street been single as the girl in a club. If its inappropriate for a guy to ask a girl out or ask for her phone number, then how the hell is he supposed to meet anyone? :confused:

    I'm not getting into this as it's off topic. This thread is about online dating. Just to clarify, I never said I think it is wrong for a guy to chat a girl up for the purposes of establishing if she is single, but this thing of walking up to women in a nightclub or on a street and asking her for her phone number is: (1) Cringeworthy, (2) Pathethic and (3) Bad manners, rude and failing to respect the fact that she might, for whatever reason, (for example she might be married of in a relationship), not want to give you her phone number.


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    #4753
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,153 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Well do you think its appropriate for a guy to ask a girl in a nite club for her number?

    A girl in a nightclub is more probably single, I personally have never accepted that it is appropriate behaviour for a guy to ask a girl out, or ask a girl for her phone number or whatever, without knowing if she is single. It's something I'd NEVER do myself. It smacks of desperation and bad manners in my opinion.
    In fairness to the guy in.question, the very first thing he said to me was Can I ask you a question? Are you single? So he did know first that I was single before asking anything else. I don't think its unacceptable, just unusual and not something most people here would respond to.


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    #4754
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    I'm not getting into this as it's off topic. This thread is about online dating. Just to clarify, I never said I think it is wrong for a guy to chat a girl up for the purposes of establishing if she is single, but this thing of walking up to women in a nightclub or on a street and asking her for her phone number is: (1) Cringeworthy, (2) Pathethic and (3) Bad manners, rude and failing to respect the fact that she might, for whatever reason, (for example she might be married of in a relationship), not want to give you her phone number.

    Well I guess all American's are pathetic rude people with bad manners so.


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    #4755
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    miamee wrote: »
    In fairness to the guy in.question, the very first thing he said to me was Can I ask you a question? Are you single? So he did know first that I was single before asking anything else. I don't think its unacceptable, just unusual and not something most people here would respond to.

    It's just not how I'd go at it, and it used to piss me off no end when I was in a relationship and had guys asking my GF at the time for her phone number out of the blue, but then and again I'm 36 and single so what the fuk would I know?!?


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    #4756
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Well I guess all American's are pathetic rude people with bad manners so.

    Whatever, if that's what you think.


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    #4757
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Whatever, if that's what you think.

    Well that's what you seem to think. It's only rude or pathetic or whatever if the person been approached thinks its rude or pathetic. I think its this sort of attitude that makes it difficult to meet people in Ireland to be honest. I met my last girlfriend in lidl of all places. I simply got chatting to her and asked for her number. Granted she was Polish so maybe it wasn't so weird for her.


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    #4758
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,153 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    miamee wrote: »
    In fairness to the guy in.question, the very first thing he said to me was Can I ask you a question? Are you single? So he did know first that I was single before asking anything else. I don't think its unacceptable, just unusual and not something most people here would respond to.

    It's just not how I'd go at it, and it used to piss me off no end when I was in a relationship and had guys asking my GF at the time for her phone number out of the blue, but then and again I'm 36 and single so what the fuk would I know?!?
    Walking up to me in a bar/club or in the street to ask for my number is no different to me tbh, except in the street I know he's a) more than likely sober and b) not out 'on the pull'. I dunno, it didn't come to anything so maybe you and my friends were all right to be skeptical :D


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    #4759
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Well that's what you seem to think. It's only rude or pathetic or whatever if the person been approached thinks its rude or pathetic. I think its this sort of attitude that makes it difficult to meet people in Ireland to be honest. I met my last girlfriend in lidl of all places. I simply got chatting to her and asked for her number. Granted she was Polish so maybe it wasn't so weird for her.

    I didn't say all Americans were rude or whatever, you said that and if that's what you think, then fine, grand, whatever.


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    #4760
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,153 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    Back on topic, things that nearly dislocate my eyeballs with the amount of :rolleyes: that I do when I read them on guys profiles:
    Oh I hate filling in these things
    Oh I don't know what to say
    Can I fill this in later?
    Most private thing you're willing to admit: that I'm using this site.

    If they can't answer a few questions about themselves, I despair for their conversational abilities and usually write them off there and then. A bit rash?


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    #4761
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    miamee wrote: »
    Walking up to me in a bar/club or in the street to ask for my number is no different to me tbh, except in the street I know he's a) more than likely sober and b) not out 'on the pull'. I dunno, it didn't come to anything so maybe you and my friends were all right to be skeptical :D

    Well I would do neither, I've never in my life asked a girl in a nightclub for her phone number or out in LIDL or on a street, I'd be mortifed, she'd most likely not be single. Yes, of course she could be, but I wouldn't be making myself look like an idiot on the off chance that she "could" be. I fully accept however that other people are different than me, horses for courses.


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    #4762
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    I didn't say all Americans were rude or whatever, you said that and if that's what you think, then fine, grand, whatever.

    No that's not what I think. It's very common in America for someone to approach random people in public and ask them out, or ask for their number. So by your reasoning American people are rude and pathetic.


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    #4763
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    miamee wrote: »
    Back on topic, things that nearly dislocate my eyeballs with the amount of :rolleyes: that I do when I read them on guys profiles:
    Oh I hate filling in these things
    Oh I don't know what to say
    Can I fill this in later?
    Most private thing you're willing to admit: that I'm using this site.

    The weird thing is, I find most female profiles to be extraordinarily similar in terms of content...

    "I'm trying this because my friends said it's worth a try, I'm a genuine decent girl, I like going out and I like my nights in with a DVD and a bottle of wine..."

    For this to happen though, surely girls must check out other girls profiles when they join POF, because it can't be an accident that so many profiles are nearly based on the same template?

    Just speaking as a guy, I've never checked out another guys profile for any reason...


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    #4764
    pablomakaveli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    Well i give up. Deleted my profile on POF. Had no luck at all on it. Most of my messages were ignored and even when girls would message me they wouldnt even bother making an effort with conversation.

    Might be willing to give another site a try though.

    Can anyone recommend a good site to use?


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    #4765
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    The weird thing is, I find most female profiles to be extraordinarily similar in terms of content...

    "I'm trying this because my friends said it's worth a try, I'm a genuine decent girl, I like going out and I like my nights in with a DVD and a bottle of wine..."

    This is true. Some profiles are almost exactly the same. It's almost as if it was copy and pasted.


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    #4766
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    I'm hearing a lot of ads on the radio about this new dating website, what's it called, I can't remember the name of it but basically they interview you, make sure you are who you say you are, then I assume you pay a fee and can browse their site and if you meet someone you pay a fee, intro.ie I think it's called or something like that, not too sure how it works, it certainly wouldn't be for me, dating is difficult enough without having to do an interview before meeting someone.

    Yeah, it's www.intro.ie, holy Jesus, they give you post date feedback, sometimes ignorance is bliss!


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    #4767
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Ohh yeah I heard them discussing that on 2FM. Yeah the interview thing would be off-putting. Although it probably would filter out the fakes and time wasters.


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    #4768
    Armaghmagic
    Registered Users Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭Armaghmagic


    pablomakaveli wrote: »
    Well i give up. Deleted my profile on POF. Had no luck at all on it. Most of my messages were ignored and even when girls would message me they wouldnt even bother making an effort with conversation.

    Might be willing to give another site a try though.

    Can anyone recommend a good site to use?

    The other one I give a nod to is OKCupid but to be honest I always revert back to POF and would say its the best of a bad bunch!


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    #4769
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,153 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    miamee wrote: »
    Back on topic, things that nearly dislocate my eyeballs with the amount of :rolleyes: that I do when I read them on guys profiles:
    Oh I hate filling in these things
    Oh I don't know what to say
    Can I fill this in later?
    Most private thing you're willing to admit: that I'm using this site.

    The weird thing is, I find most female profiles to be extraordinarily similar in terms of content...

    "I'm trying this because my friends said it's worth a try, I'm a genuine decent girl, I like going out and I like my nights in with a DVD and a bottle of wine..."

    For this to happen though, surely girls must check out other girls profiles when they join POF, because it can't be an accident that so many profiles are nearly based on the same template?

    Just speaking as a guy, I've never checked out another guys profile for any reason...
    Lots of guys ones are similar too with a basic undertones of 'can't be arsed filling this in properly'. To me it is the laziest kind of profile, just filling in the obvious stuff. Surely you should be putting what makes you stand out from the crowd? I just don't get it, to be honest!

    This could explain my lack of success on POF :D


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    #4770
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    miamee wrote: »
    Lots of guys ones are similar too with a basic undertones of 'can't be arsed filling this in properly'. To me it is the laziest kind of profile, just filling in the obvious stuff. Surely you should be putting what makes you stand out from the crowd? I just don't get it, to be honest!

    This could explain my lack of success on POF :D

    Yeah but how do you make yourself stand out from the crowd without sounding too full of it? I've seen profiles where people talk about how great they are and list all their fabulous hobbies and what makes them unique. It's a bit too try hard. A lot of it is probably lies anyway. You should just be honest about yourself.


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    #4771
    hollypink
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭hollypink


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Yeah but how do you make yourself stand out from the crowd without sounding too full of it? I've seen profiles where people talk about how great they are and list all their fabulous hobbies and what makes them unique. It's a bit too try hard. A lot of it is probably lies anyway. You should just be honest about yourself.

    I agree you should just be honest about yourself, but surely everyone has some hobby/interest in their life that they can speak with a little enthusiasm about? Books/cars/music/hiking/art/travel/cooking to pick out a few examples. Rather than "I'm a genuine guy/girl, love to have go out and have fun with my friends and I love to laugh" :rolleyes: That's so generic and bland that it tells you nothing about the person and doesn't give the impression that converation would flow if you were to meet up.


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