The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

HellFireClub

Well I had a date organised last night with a really nice girl, we had been chatting for a while and seemed to get each other, she was smoking hot as well, but whatever mood I woke up in yesterday, I was like a briar, I mean I was just in foul humour all day, so I just couldn't face this date and trying to sell myself again, so I cancelled. Within 5 minutes of me cancelling, she deleted her profile and not a word out of her since, even though I texted her. I fully understand though, we were supposed to meet during the week but I had to cancel for work reasons, so she had been more than patient.

Does anyone else have this happening to them? Where you actually get a date and its all looking good, and then you just start thinking as you are working through your day, "what in the name of Christ am I actually hoping to achieve here?!?"... Have to say, I suffer from this big time lately and it's happened now across different dates, not just in relation to one person who I might have been a bit on the fence about meeting. It's even happened after meeting a girl recently and having got on great with her on two dates...

cantdecide

HellFireClub wrote: »

A girl in a nightclub is more probably single, I personally have never accepted that it is appropriate behaviour for a guy to ask a girl out, or ask a girl for her phone number or whatever, without knowing if she is single. It's something I'd NEVER do myself. It smacks of desperation and bad manners in my opinion.

As a non-drinker, it would barely occur to me to that clubs are the appropriate place to ask a girl out. It's way beyond my comfort zone, personally. Of the ladies I've asked out over the last few years, most of them I met IRL. Okay, coming out and asking for a perfect strangers number is a little extreme, it has to be said that as a nation, we shouldn't fall back into the notion that pulling in a club is the only way (even though OD is so crap!).

miamee wrote: »

Lots of guys ones are similar too with a basic undertones of 'can't be arsed filling this in properly'. To me it is the laziest kind of profile, just filling in the obvious stuff. Surely you should be putting what makes you stand out from the crowd? I just don't get it, to be honest! This could explain my lack of success on POF

IME, one of the major distinctions between the sexes in OD is that historically, men tend fly solo while the girls often treat it as a group effort. I have no doubt there are some truly awful profiles out there but I think a lot of the reasons for this can be that OD is still a bit taboo to a lot of guys. I think men talking and comparing OD experiences is something that's pretty new to a lot of guys.

cantdecide

hollypink wrote: »

...I'm a genuine guy/girl, love to have go out and have fun with my friends and I love to laugh" :rolleyes:

For me it's 'I love to have a laugh'... I've learned to detest that phrase and those two superfluous words.

pablomakaveli

Armaghmagic wrote: »

The other one I give a nod to is OKCupid but to be honest I always revert back to POF and would say its the best of a bad bunch!

I did try OkCupid not too long ago but there were very few people on it. I did use a site called connectingsingles a couple of years ago and had some luck with it even making a new friend who im still friends with today but it seems like its not very popular site here in the UK.

I would be willing to give a paid site a trial. Dont know which one to try though.

HellFireClub

cantdecide wrote: »

For me it's 'I love to have a laugh'... I've learned to detest that phrase and those two superfluous words.

The auld headlines, "Make me Laugh", or endless references in profiles to "must be able to make me laugh", I think it often portrays the wrong message, as if a girl often perceives herself as some kind of queen holding court and us guys are the jesters who get wheeled in to entertain her?!?

Design78

HellFireClub wrote: »

I have been following this thread for a while a when I saw your post hellfireclub I had to reply. I've been on the reciving end of guys cancelling and really have you no manners, this gurl had given up her Saturday night to meet you, had most likely been nervousally looking forward to it and had told some of her friends she was meeting someone. I had one date cancel on me when I was on the train on my way to meet him.  I had started work early that day to ensure I could leave on time, drop my car home, get ready, walk to the station & get the train into town. I ended up reorganising my whole day to take a return train journey. Then i had the text from mates "so what was he like". Now I know him cancelling was no reflection on me, but  I felt like a complete fool. Really what you did was just plain bad manners and a little cruel. Also the fact that your doing this "big time lately" maybe you should just delete your profile.

HellFireClub

Design78 wrote: »

I have been following this thread for a while a when I saw your post hellfireclub I had to reply. I've been on the reciving end of guys cancelling and really have you no manners, this gurl had given up her Saturday night to meet you, had most likely been nervousally looking forward to it and had told some of her friends she was meeting someone. I had one date cancel on me when I was on the train on my way to meet him. I had started work early that day to ensure I could leave on time, drop my car home, get ready, walk to the station & get the train into town. I ended up reorganising my whole day to take a return train journey. Then i had the text from mates "so what was he like". Now I know him cancelling was no reflection on me, but I felt like a complete fool. Really what you did was just plain bad manners and a little cruel. Also the fact that your doing this "big time lately" maybe you should just delete your profile.

I understand your frustration to a certain degree but I can't agree it is bad manners to cancel a date if you are struggling to see the point in it on a particular day. You might not be privy to things that would be going on in my personal life that would cause me to regrettably not have the headspace for a date, after having agreed to go on one the previous day or whatever. I think it would be bad manners to not show up, or bad manners to cancel late, but I can't see the lack of manners in giving plenty of notice and just saying that you aren't up for it. I do fully understand the frustration on a girls part though, but there is no point going on a date if you are just not in the mood for one and are probably going to create a bad impression.

EDIT: When I said I was doing it "big time", I meant it was something I struggle with "big time" at the moment, I didn't say I was cancelling dates as a matter of habit as you have suggested. I've gone on a few dates lately and had a nice time, but still struggle with bothering with a first date all over again and explaining over and over again who I am, what I do, what I like, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc...

Design78

My point being if your not in the headspace to be going on dates they delete your profile until you are. Look at it from her point of view, your actions were enough to make log on and delete her profile. Really what you did was thoughtless, you shouldn't have arranged the date in the first place.
We've all gotten the "oh here we go again, bet this will be another disaster" pre date nerves but you just get on with it and have the manners to turn up and make the effort to have an enjoyable evening/drink.

HellFireClub

Design78 wrote: »

My point being if your not in the headspace to be going on dates they delete your profile until you are. Look at it from her point of view, your actions were enough to make log on and delete her profile. Really what you did was thoughtless, you shouldn't have arranged the date in the first place.
We've all gotten the "oh here we go again, bet this will be another disaster" pre date nerves but you just get on with it and have the manners to turn up and make the effort to have an enjoyable evening/drink.

I have the headspace to go on dates, I've been on a good few dates recently and there was no problem with them, some of them turned into 2nd dates, more of them didn't. Every now and again, (moreso recently than before, maybe it's a phase), I really struggle to see the point of it, but I'll talk myself into giving it a bit of a push, and make an effort with it, especially with a girl I feel I'm getting on well with before I meet her and who I think may be my type in terms of her profile & pics and our general conversation to date.

But then on the day of the date, it can happen, that I can get despondent about the whole thing, (other times I'd be dying to get out the door to meet her), and just decide that I'm really not up to it and on that basis cancel as I feel its the right thing to do. And no, I don't suffer from mood swings generally, but when it comes to dating, at times, I can find it emotionally draining, I can find it hard work, I can find it expensive at times. Clearly you need all those resources to be there when you are going on a date, you need a relatively clear head, energy, money, and if on the day of a date, you find you are lacking in any of those areas, I think it's the right thing to do, to cancel a date.

EDIT: I really don't feel responsible for someone else deciding to delete their profile. We've probably all been there with deleting our profile only to return again in a week or two.

Design78

I have to say I completely disagree with you, these are not reasons to cancel a date. They are however very good reasons to not arrange a date in the first place. 
I think everyone who has done OL will identify with what you have described and it's at that point that you take a break from it. If your not enjoying the meeting new people element (and yes it can be hard work ) then hide your profile for a while. OL dating is hard work and a lot of effort is put into meeting complete strangers and if your not in the form for it then it's just unfair on the other person, who likewise is investing time, emotions and cash. Personally I know I can only meet 2/3 guys before I need a break from it for a few weeks.

HellFireClub

Design78 wrote: »

I have to say I completely disagree with you, these are not reasons to cancel a date. They are however very good reasons to not arrange a date in the first place.
I think everyone who has done OL will identify with what you have described and it's at that point that you take a break from it. If your not enjoying the meeting new people element (and yes it can be hard work ) then hide your profile for a while. OL dating is hard work and a lot of effort is put into meeting complete strangers and if your not in the form for it then it's just unfair on the other person, who likewise is investing time, emotions and cash. Personally I know I can only meet 2/3 guys before I need a break from it for a few weeks.

I agree to a point, but what if you agree to a date today and you are genuinely up for it and then you have a crazy busy day in work today and again tomorrow and by tomorrow, you just look at your date in the evening as like an Everest sized mountain that you have to climb? The only thing you can do is cancel... Maybe you have a handier number than me, but a hard day in work for me can leave me completely wrecked on several levels, and as I'm self employed, I can't just hand it over to another shift or team at the end of what can often be my 16 hour day. So in that context, I think it is possible to be up for something on a Monday but by the time Tuesday arrives, you can just not be as eager for it, and that's just life I think, especially these days when you're running a small business.

Daveysil15

hollypink wrote: »

I agree you should just be honest about yourself, but surely everyone has some hobby/interest in their life that they can speak with a little enthusiasm about? Books/cars/music/hiking/art/travel/cooking to pick out a few examples. Rather than "I'm a genuine guy/girl, love to have go out and have fun with my friends and I love to laugh" :rolleyes: That's so generic and bland that it tells you nothing about the person and doesn't give the impression that converation would flow if you were to meet up.

Ohh I'm not saying you shouldn't talk about a hobby enthusiastically as long as you don't go over the top. Yes the "love to laugh" is very generic.

HellFireClub wrote: »

The auld headlines, "Make me Laugh", or endless references in profiles to "must be able to make me laugh", I think it often portrays the wrong message, as if a girl often perceives herself as some kind of queen holding court and us guys are the jesters who get wheeled in to entertain her?!?

This is true. It's a bit like you're competing on the X-Factor trying to impress the judges while fending off a serious amount of competition. It's like, "Well I get messages from loads of guys, so what are you bringing to the table? What makes you special?"

riveratom

HellFireClub wrote: »

I agree to a point, but what if you agree to a date today and you are genuinely up for it and then you have a crazy busy day in work today and again tomorrow and by tomorrow, you just look at your date in the evening as like an Everest sized mountain that you have to climb?

Then you don't arrange the date in the first place. It's not all about you man, your posts are centred all around you and almost nothing on the girl in question. Everyone has crazy busy days, rough weeks, but you can't use that as an excuse to bail on someone else. You've no idea what could be going on in their lives, they could be even busier than you, but they are still making the effort to get themselves prepared and ready because they can see that what's going on in their own lives can't be let affect someone else.

HellFireClub wrote: »

The only thing you can do is cancel... Maybe you have a handier number than me, but a hard day in work for me can leave me completely wrecked on several levels, and as I'm self employed, I can't just hand it over to another shift or team at the end of what can often be my 16 hour day. So in that context, I think it is possible to be up for something on a Monday but by the time Tuesday arrives, you can just not be as eager for it, and that's just life I think, especially these days when you're running a small business.

It's not the only thing you can do, you can also man up a bit and just decide you are going to put on the best face for the girl who has decided to invest the time, emotional energy and perhaps finances in meeting you. Otherwise, you don't go there in the first place.

That's a girl who you say is hot, who you got on well with, who has now deleted her profile and might never come back. I and others are having dry spells on the dates front of late, there's one girl that I/others could have mailed and gone on a date with - gone.

Not having a go mate, but the phrase sh*t or get off the pot comes to mind here. It's not fair to be building people's hopes up only for you to cancel when you 'don't feel up to it'. I've had a date or two where I've travelled 30 miles to meet someone even when I didn't particularly want to and could have taken it or left it.

HellFireClub

riveratom wrote: »

Not having a go mate, but the phrase sh*t or get off the pot comes to mind here. It's not fair to be building people's hopes up only for you to cancel when you 'don't feel up to it'. I've had a date or two where I've travelled 30 miles to meet someone even when I didn't particularly want to and could have taken it or left it.

What a load of rubbish. You don't go on a date to put on a brave face and have someone sitting in your company when it's patently obvious that you are in sh*t form due to having a bad day or few days. That is selfish to my mind, having someone getting a negative vibe off you and wanting to leave early, because you are not making good conversation as you normally would. There is no crime or injustice in giving someone plenty of notice that you can't meet them that evening because you're just not up to it.

As for, "I can't meet her now 'cos she deleted her profile after you cancelled on her", seriously, that's a ridiculous perspective to have. I have no control over what people do with their own profiles, if she wants to form an opinion on the whole site based on a date that didn't happen with me, that I was really looking forward to the previous day, well then I don't think that's a wise or a smart thing to do. Internet dating has loads of flaws associated with it and one of those flaws is that you are trying to build up a relationship with a person you have never actually met. People having/wanting to cancel a date with plenty of notice, it's part of what you take on when you get into this way of meeting people, I've had dates cancelled on me recently with loads of notice, if you can't handle it, well then maybe stick to the old tried & trusted method of offline dating.

If someone wasn't up for a date with me, I'd much much rather that they cancel and free me up to do something else with my time, rather than having to painfully work/sit through a difficult date. Finding chemistry with someone is difficult enough with 2 people in the right positive mood for it. Some people I met in the past, I'd much rather they cancelled when they clearly were not into it at all, rather than wasting my time and my money on forking out for drinks, dinner, etc.

Galvasean

miamee wrote: »

Lots of guys ones are similar too with a basic undertones of 'can't be arsed filling this in properly'. To me it is the laziest kind of profile, just filling in the obvious stuff. Surely you should be putting what makes you stand out from the crowd? I just don't get it, to be honest!

This could explain my lack of success on POF

cantdecide wrote: »

IME, one of the major distinctions between the sexes in OD is that historically, men tend fly solo while the girls often treat it as a group effort. I have no doubt there are some truly awful profiles out there but I think a lot of the reasons for this can be that OD is still a bit taboo to a lot of guys. I think men talking and comparing OD experiences is something that's pretty new to a lot of guys.

I don't agree that it is a guy thing. A vast number of girls' profiles are exactly as miamee has described.

HellFireClub wrote: »

Well I had a date organised last night with a really nice girl, we had been chatting for a while and seemed to get each other, she was smoking hot as well, but whatever mood I woke up in yesterday, I was like a briar, I mean I was just in foul humour all day, so I just couldn't face this date and trying to sell myself again, so I cancelled. Within 5 minutes of me cancelling, she deleted her profile and not a word out of her since, even though I texted her. I fully understand though, we were supposed to meet during the week but I had to cancel for work reasons, so she had been more than patient.

If a girl did that to me I'd be livid. It is far from a pleasant experience.

HellFireClub wrote: »

Does anyone else have this happening to them? Where you actually get a date and its all looking good, and then you just start thinking as you are working through your day, "what in the name of Christ am I actually hoping to achieve here?!?"... Have to say, I suffer from this big time lately and it's happened now across different dates, not just in relation to one person who I might have been a bit on the fence about meeting. It's even happened after meeting a girl recently and having got on great with her on two dates...

I'm going to be a bit blunt here, but it sounds like you are jaded from it and need to take a break. It seems all you are doing is hurting yourself and others.

HellFireClub

Galvasean wrote: »

If a girl did that to me I'd be livid. It is far from a pleasant experience.

I respect your view but I really can't see the offence in it. I met a girl a few weeks ago, and either she had the worst day/few days ever or she was just a complete and utter bitch, but I suspect that it was the former. It was a 1 hour round trip for me to meet her, then me forking out for drinks when we met, and I wish she had just told me she was in a p*sser or whatever before I met her, because she was genuinely horrible company, although I had been chatting to her for a week previous and she had been added on FB, seen all my FB pics, etc.

To my mind, it is the ultimate insult on a date to present yourself on a date where you are having drinks or dinner bought for you, yet you are in a p*sser and are shít company.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Galvasean

Boredom has gotten the better of me. Put those profiles on invisible ladies. I've started mailing people on POF again! :pac:

Galvasean

HellFireClub wrote: »

I respect your view but I really can't see the offence in it. I met a girl a few weeks ago, and either she had the worst day/few days ever or she was just a complete and utter bitch, but I suspect that it was the former. It was a 1 hour round trip for me to meet her, then me forking out for drinks when we met, and I wish she had just told me she was in a p*sser or whatever before I met her, because she was genuinely horrible company, although I had been chatting to her for a week previous and she had been added on FB, seen all my FB pics, etc.

To my mind, it is the ultimate insult on a date to present yourself on a date where you are having drinks or dinner bought for you, yet you are in a p*sser and are shít company.

Hmmm, I do see your point. I remember having a very unpleasant experience myself having once met up with someone who was clearly in no mood to be there. I'll never forget her saying to me, "You know, you can leave whenever you want" before I had even finished my coffee. Her arms barely uncrossed during the whole debacle.
That said though, I think if you've both gone through the effort to arrange a meet up which is imminent both parties need to 'big up' and put aside whatever is bugging them personally (exceptionally circumstances aside I suppose) and just get out there and put the best foot forward. if anything it might prove therapeutic, a distraction from whatever is grating.

Esoteric_

HellFireClub wrote: »

I respect your view but I really can't see the offence in it. I met a girl a few weeks ago, and either she had the worst day/few days ever or she was just a complete and utter bitch, but I suspect that it was the former. It was a 1 hour round trip for me to meet her, then me forking out for drinks when we met, and I wish she had just told me she was in a p*sser or whatever before I met her, because she was genuinely horrible company, although I had been chatting to her for a week previous and she had been added on FB, seen all my FB pics, etc.

To my mind, it is the ultimate insult on a date to present yourself on a date where you are having drinks or dinner bought for you, yet you are in a p*sser and are shít company.

I'd much rather somebody was a moody shíte on a date, rather than cancelling on me twice. Reason being, if they're a moody git, you write them off as a tosser. If they keep cancelling, you wonder what the hell they're playing at and are getting confused, OR (if you are insecure) you end up wondering what you did wrong. Thankfully, I never do anything wrong so if I'm ever cancelled on in the future, I will assume they are the problem, not me. :pac:

But really, it is exceedingly rude to cancel on somebody twice. I understand why you did it, but at the same time, you really can't come here and expect everyone to agree that what you did was right, because, no matter your reasons, it was a shítty thing to do.

Piliger

riveratom wrote: »

Then you don't arrange the date in the first place. It's not all about you man, your posts are centred all around you and almost nothing on the girl in question. Everyone has crazy busy days, rough weeks, but you can't use that as an excuse to bail on someone else. You've no idea what could be going on in their lives, they could be even busier than you, but they are still making the effort to get themselves prepared and ready because they can see that what's going on in their own lives can't be let affect someone else.

It's not the only thing you can do, you can also man up a bit and just decide you are going to put on the best face for the girl who has decided to invest the time, emotional energy and perhaps finances in meeting you. Otherwise, you don't go there in the first place.

That's a girl who you say is hot, who you got on well with, who has now deleted her profile and might never come back. I and others are having dry spells on the dates front of late, there's one girl that I/others could have mailed and gone on a date with - gone.

Not having a go mate, but the phrase sh*t or get off the pot comes to mind here. It's not fair to be building people's hopes up only for you to cancel when you 'don't feel up to it'. I've had a date or two where I've travelled 30 miles to meet someone even when I didn't particularly want to and could have taken it or left it.

Right on the money ... again and again and again. Well said.

HellFireClub

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I'd much rather somebody was a moody shíte on a date, rather than cancelling on me twice. Reason being, if they're a moody git, you write them off as a tosser. If they keep cancelling, you wonder what the hell they're playing at and are getting confused, OR (if you are insecure) you end up wondering what you did wrong. Thankfully, I never do anything wrong so if I'm ever cancelled on in the future, I will assume they are the problem, not me. :pac:

But really, it is exceedingly rude to cancel on somebody twice. I understand why you did it, but at the same time, you really can't come here and expect everyone to agree that what you did was right, because, no matter your reasons, it was a shítty thing to do.

I have to admit, in respect of what happened yesterday, I actually can't remember the last time I woke up in such absolute shíte form, and I couldn't shake it off all day. That being the case, I cancelled the date. I agree with Galvesean that sometimes a date can be the very thing to take your mind off shíte going on in your day and can be a refreshing complete change of scenery that can be just what you needed at the end of the day.

But I know how I felt yesterday, I was like a briar and I don't think it's right to go on a date if for whatever reason, you are bringing shíte on the date with you, that would probably cause you to be written off for a second date.

As I mentioned above, I was on a date only 2 weeks ago, where a girl I had been chatting to for 2 weeks regularly and who seemed nice, turned out to be a complete and utter bitch in person. Clearly there was a reason for that, and given the choice between having to sit through the likes of that again, or being given half a days notice that she wanted to cancel for whatever reason, I certainly know which option I'd be putting my hand out again for...

Anyway, based on the feedback received on thread, I am going to call her and see if I can fix this bit of injustice...

The Master

Fantastic 2nd date last night, things looking good

HellFireClub

Piliger wrote: »

Right on the money ... again and again and again. Well said.

I understand the two of you trying to be the "have a go hero's" and clamber up onto what you perceive to be the high moral ground, but the logic of turning up on a date just to tick a box that lets you say that you showed up, in the full knowledge that that's about all you are doing, is to my mind irrational and actually selfish. The other person isn't turning up for you to just sit there and be in a pisser, they are looking for chemistry, a good mood, positivity, charm, wit, and a hundred other things. If you can't deliver that, and you know you can't on one particular day, then why on earth would you waste your own time, your own money and someone else's time and money by turning up for something that is a complete waste of time??? It's a date, not a trip to the tax office where they stamp your form just to prove you turned up!

Larianne

HellFireClub wrote: »

I understand the two of you trying to be the "have a go hero's" and clamber up onto what you perceive to be the high moral ground, but the logic of turning up on a date just to tick a box that lets you say that you showed up, in the full knowledge that that's about all you are doing, is to my mind irrational and actually selfish. The other person isn't turning up for you to just sit there and be in a pisser, they are looking for chemistry, a good mood, positivity, charm, wit, and a hundred other things. If you can't deliver that, and you know you can't on one particular day, when why on earth would you waste your own time, your own money and someone else's time and money??? It's a date, not a trip to the tax office where they stamp your form just to prove you turned up!

I said I wouldn't post again, but I just want to reply to your posts.

I think its unfortunate that you felt crappy and cancelled the date. I've woken up feeling like shíte and just knew I wouldn't have a good time on the date. These things do happen and if you have to cancel you have to cancel BUT it's how you cancel the date that is important. Did you explain the situation to the date? Did you offer to meet up again during the week? People would be more understanding if you made the effort to re-arrange or to call the person and explain over the phone.

Basically, I don't think its terribly wrong to cancel a date(as some people are making out here). Stuff gets in the way of life. But there is a polite way in doing so.

HellFireClub

Larianne wrote: »

I said I wouldn't post again, but I just want to reply to your posts.

I think its unfortunate that you felt crappy and cancelled the date. I've woken up feeling like shíte and just knew I wouldn't have a good time on the date. These things do happen and if you have to cancel you have to cancel BUT it's how you cancel the date that is important. Did you explain the situation to the date? Did you offer to meet up again during the week? People would be more understanding if you made the effort to re-arrange or to call the person and explain over the phone.

Basically, I don't think its terribly wrong to cancel a date(as some people are making out here). Stuff gets in the way of life. But there is a polite way in doing so.

The whole problem here I think with OD, is that if you met someone out and about and you really clicked and wanted to go on a date, you'd obviously already have met them, (call it a kind of first date if you met out in a pub or whatever), and if they subsequently had to cancel a date or change plans, you'd usually have sufficient credibility in the eyes of that other person, and there would probably be enough chemistry there from when you first met, to allow for plans to be changed or cancelled and rearranged, with your credibility remaining intact, because you know there is mutual attraction and chemistry and "form", and the other person probably has a same feeling on it. Don't forget, it isn't a first date either so you have none of "that" to worry about.

On the otherhand, when it comes to OD, if you cancel, there is a nearly always a working assumption from the get-go that if you cancel, that you are an arséhole or a time waster or just plain ignorant or have lost what little interest you have in the other person. Then you could go on this date and regret that you ever got off your sofa that evening and that's all assuming you were in great form going out the door! This is the bit that I'm struggling with lately, however it obviously doesn't account for what happened yesterday where I just woke up in a complete snot and couldn't shake it off all day. If I had met this girl previously, cancelling yesterday I don't think would have been a problem.

But just speaking personally, if you are not in the mood for a date, PLEASE cancel or even stand me up, but PLEASE don't turn up for a date in a snot or if you are clearly in sh*t form, I think that's just the ultimate insult to someone...

Galvasean

HellFireClub wrote: »

But just speaking personally, if you are not in the mood for a date, PLEASE cancel or even stand me up, but PLEASE don't turn up for a date in a snot or if you are clearly in sh*t form, I think that's just the ultimate insult to someone...

You and I must be very different people. I think being stood up is the worst possible outcome. To each their own I guess.

In other news, I managed to mail seven profiles I liked the look/sound of today (after a week of no POF involvement - I find its nice to let the site 'refresh' every now and again).

AnnyHallsal

If someone canceled two dates with an excuse no better than a terrible mood I'd have to like them an awful lot to agree to a third attempt. I've never canceled a date regardless of a lack of enthusiasm. Personally I think I can put mood aside and be civil to someone who wanted to meet me. But you know yourself best.

Daveysil15

I thought dating was supposed to be fun. Listening to some of these stories is turning me off. If its that much of a hassle why bother?

HellFireClub

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

If someone canceled two dates with an excuse no better than a terrible mood I'd have to like them an awful lot to agree to a third attempt. I've never canceled a date regardless of a lack of enthusiasm. Personally I think I can put mood aside and be civil to someone who wanted to meet me. But you know yourself best.

It was only the second date that I cancelled for that reason, the first time was completely down to work and availability issues.

Maybe you have a handier number than I have these days. None of us are generally privy to what could be going on in other people's lives and what factors they might be trying to prevail under on any given day.