The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

wobblyknees

Max Power1 wrote: »

Ethanol lol?

Oh and also... pet peeve "QUIET" not QUITE

YES! WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE THIS MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

wobblyknees

Ok, question for anyone who remembers. I had a situation where I thought someone was very forward after only one meeting but was willing to give her a second chance and we had actually arranged to meet again when she, in typical female fashion (joke!) decided to tie herself up in knots and cancel and then proceeded to block me with little or no reason to other than she was sure I didn't like her that much. Anyway, fast forward to a day or two ago and she messaged me again in a joking "I'm not really talking to you" kind of way. Now I like to think of myself as the non judgemental type and so I take these things at face value and so have been talking to her. We've actually been having a fun chat today and I'm thinking I should give her another chance and ask her to meet up. Am I completely nuts?

gem81

If you are getting along well today & laughing joking etc go for it nothing to lose. She may have been very nervous. No harm in meeting again to see how it goes. .

miamee

wobblyknees wrote: »

Ok, question for anyone who remembers. I had a situation where I thought someone was very forward after only one meeting but was willing to give her a second chance and we had actually arranged to meet again when she, in typical female fashion (joke!) decided to tie herself up in knots and cancel and then proceeded to block me with little or no reason to other than she was sure I didn't like her that much. Anyway, fast forward to a day or two ago and she messaged me again in a joking "I'm not really talking to you" kind of way. Now I like to think of myself as the non judgemental type and so I take these things at face value and so have been talking to her. We've actually been having a fun chat today and I'm thinking I should give her another chance and ask her to meet up. Am I completely nuts?

Yes.





'I'm messaging you to tell you that I'm not talking to you' screams attention-seeker to me, tbh. If you like drama, go ahead, she sounds like she will be a lot of work. Just my opinion from what you have said about her so far anyway

wobblyknees

miamee wrote: »

Yes.





'I'm messaging you to tell you that I'm not talking to you' screams attention-seeker to me, tbh. If you like drama, go ahead, she sounds like she will be a lot of work. Just my opinion from what you have said about her so far anyway

Yes, but how can I possibly trust you, you are a woman!

andreac

wobblyknees wrote: »

Ok, question for anyone who remembers. I had a situation where I thought someone was very forward after only one meeting but was willing to give her a second chance and we had actually arranged to meet again when she, in typical female fashion (joke!) decided to tie herself up in knots and cancel and then proceeded to block me with little or no reason to other than she was sure I didn't like her that much. Anyway, fast forward to a day or two ago and she messaged me again in a joking "I'm not really talking to you" kind of way. Now I like to think of myself as the non judgemental type and so I take these things at face value and so have been talking to her. We've actually been having a fun chat today and I'm thinking I should give her another chance and ask her to meet up. Am I completely nuts?

Yes dont do it, second chances rarely work in my experience, see my posts on the last few pages,lol.

KTRIC

Had a second date there the other night, went very well. Not sure what the story is. Haven't heard from her since, bit disappointed as I really like her

I'm a bit rusty with all this stuff, haven't been out with anyone for a year now.

Any ideas on what I should do next ?

wobblyknees

miamee wrote: »

Yes.





'I'm messaging you to tell you that I'm not talking to you' screams attention-seeker to me, tbh. If you like drama, go ahead, she sounds like she will be a lot of work. Just my opinion from what you have said about her so far anyway

andreac wrote: »

Yes dont do it, second chances rarely work in my experience, see my posts on the last few pages,lol.

Actually, just to clarify, she didn't message me to tell me she wasn't talking to me, it was more a case of hello, can I ask you a question (how was I getting on on the site?) and then she made a joke of but I am not talking to you really. Either way, she obviously wanted to say hello. She definitely seems a bit more mellow in the chat we've been having. Decisions decisions.

wobblyknees

KTRIC wrote: »

Had a second date there the other night, went very well. Not sure what the story is. Haven't heard from her since, bit disappointed as I really like her

I'm a bit rusty with all this stuff, haven't been out with anyone for a year now.

Any ideas on what I should do next ?

I'd go with a marriage proposal and failing that stalking would be the way I'd go.



Did you try and contact her since?

Piliger

wobblyknees wrote: »

"I'm not really talking to you" kind of way.

This looks like a lady with a good sense of humour to me. Who knows what might have been going on her life last time.

Giving her another chance will cost you exactly what ........ ?

wobblyknees

Piliger wrote: »

This looks like a lady with a good sense of humour to me. Who knows what might have been going on her life last time.

Giving her another chance will cost you exactly what ........ ?

I was kind of thinking the same thing. She at least has a sense of humour, and she definitely isn't stalking me. She has my number for example, the chat we've had has been through the site.

KTRIC

wobblyknees wrote: »

I'd go with a marriage proposal and failing that stalking would be the way I'd go.

I've been warned about that before by the Gardai

wobblyknees wrote: »

Did you try and contact her since?

I sent a message since the last date but no reply since. Ah sure I'll just wait it out.

miamee

wobblyknees wrote: »

I was kind of thinking the same thing. She at least has a sense of humour, and she definitely isn't stalking me. She has my number for example, the chat we've had has been through the site.

She probably deleted it when she blocked you

If you have a good feeling about her go for it, nothing to lose except a bit of time on a date.

hollypink

wobblyknees wrote: »

I was kind of thinking the same thing. She at least has a sense of humour, and she definitely isn't stalking me. She has my number for example, the chat we've had has been through the site.

I remember your original post about this and I still think that it sounds like a bit too much drama considering ye have only met once. But I'd agree that there's no harm in giving her another chance (and it's a good sign that she hasn't been stalking you by phone!).

Daveysil15

Has anybody ever done anything unusual for a first date? Sitting in front of someone in a bar or cafe can be a bit formal and almost like an interview. Ever see Take Me Out? They do have interesting dates on that like horse riding and going to the Zoo and stuff. I think a fun activity would settle the nerves a bit and take the awkwardness out of it.

cantdecide

Well I'm out. Had enough of OD. Had enough of chasing the wimmin. Going buying a dog. Going to grow a (bigger) beard. Going to travel from town to town solving crimes and doing good deeds...

Definite case of battle fatigue and I need to make time for other aspects of my life. Dead horse is far too well flogged to keep wasting my time at this malarkey. Could definitely do with a break from the whole lot.

Piliger

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Has anybody ever done anything unusual for a first date? Sitting in front of someone in a bar or cafe can be a bit formal and almost like an interview. Ever see Take Me Out? They do have interesting dates on that like horse riding and going to the Zoo and stuff. I think a fun activity would settle the nerves a bit and take the awkwardness out of it.

It sounds nice ..... but I don't think it's a good idea myself. I need to establish simple basics about communication, humour, demeanour first and they can only be done face to face, talking.

Daveysil15

Piliger wrote: »

It sounds nice ..... but I don't think it's a good idea myself. I need to establish simple basics about communication, humour, demeanour first and they can only be done face to face, talking.

Couldn't you do all that on the way to the Equestrian Centre, or feeding the animals in the zoo? It would be different if it was the cinema or go karting, but I'm sure there's plenty of places you can talk to people and get to know them.

Piliger

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Couldn't you do all that on the way to the Equestrian Centre, or feeding the animals in the zoo? It would be different if it was the cinema or go karting, but I'm sure there's plenty of places you can talk to people and get to know them.

Maybe - you could be right. Another 'drawback' is that meeting up for a coffee enables both parties to back out easily and quickly. It can be hard for some people to stay enjoying an organised outing with someone they find they don't even like ...

missrandomer

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Couldn't you do all that on the way to the Equestrian Centre, or feeding the animals in the zoo? It would be different if it was the cinema or go karting, but I'm sure there's plenty of places you can talk to people and get to know them.

Personally i think the zoo is a great date, you have things to talk about and less awkward silences.

Plus its easy to meet at the zoo, and both people should be able to relax. Cinema is the worst first date ever.

magneticimpulse

cantdecide wrote: »

Well I'm out. Had enough of OD. Had enough of chasing the wimmin. Going buying a dog. Going to grow a (bigger) beard. Going to travel from town to town solving crimes and doing good deeds...

Definite case of battle fatigue and I need to make time for other aspects of my life. Dead horse is far too well flogged to keep wasting my time at this malarkey. Could definitely do with a break from the whole lot.

Me too...i've had enough of chasing men. I took a year and a half break from online dating because the guys didnt feel any chemistry/spark in the past on dates and I found it not to be so romantic.

I concentrated on getting out and doing my own thing. Then when I was ultra positive and ready to date I went for a guy I thought I would really get on with...and we did for 3 months (great chats, great dates out, great sleep overs)...but I guess I was friend zoned despite everything.

I was very optimistic about getting back into it after a week splitting up...though after reading the comments here it made me realise it is very difficult to have that spark/chemistry. It always seems to be missing. I think it is because in real life in you fancy someone, you develop a crush, then it is a challenge to ask them out...whereas online dating takes that challenge/time to have a crush away...it is like you have to decide on the spot in 5 minutes whether or not you like the person. dont get me wrong i am willing to give people time to get to know them...but by then i think the other person has been distracted by another potential online date who might give them that magical spark!

I don't think I have the energy now to get back into it. I think the real realisation of being single again is kicking in...dont get me wrong I still like going out and meeting people...I just had too much hope for the last guy and you need very thick skin to do online dating i think. Online dating is just reminding me how I have to start from scratch again at the moment....will I ever meet a guy and have chemistry for each other?? It is very hard to climb the mountain right now when you feel there is a long way to go ;(

miamee

cantdecide wrote: »

Well I'm out. Had enough of OD. Had enough of chasing the wimmin. Going buying a dog. Going to grow a (bigger) beard. Going to travel from town to town solving crimes and doing good deeds...

Definite case of battle fatigue and I need to make time for other aspects of my life. Dead horse is far too well flogged to keep wasting my time at this malarkey. Could definitely do with a break from the whole lot.

Giving it a rest for a bit too, have lost interest for the moment. I keep checking my accounts for messages and am nearly glad when there are none! Not a good sign.
Could change my tune in a day or two but that's ok too.

cyrusdvirus

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Me too...i've had enough of chasing men. I took a year and a half break from online dating because the guys didnt feel any chemistry/spark in the past on dates and I found it not to be so romantic.

I concentrated on getting out and doing my own thing. Then when I was ultra positive and ready to date I went for a guy I thought I would really get on with...and we did for 3 months (great chats, great dates out, great sleep overs)...but I guess I was friend zoned despite everything.

I was very optimistic about getting back into it after a week splitting up...though after reading the comments here it made me realise it is very difficult to have that spark/chemistry. It always seems to be missing. I think it is because in real life in you fancy someone, you develop a crush, then it is a challenge to ask them out...whereas online dating takes that challenge/time to have a crush away...it is like you have to decide on the spot in 5 minutes whether or not you like the person. dont get me wrong i am willing to give people time to get to know them...but by then i think the other person has been distracted by another potential online date who might give them that magical spark!

I don't think I have the energy now to get back into it. I think the real realisation of being single again is kicking in...dont get me wrong I still like going out and meeting people...I just had too much hope for the last guy and you need very thick skin to do online dating i think. Online dating is just reminding me how I have to start from scratch again at the moment....will I ever meet a guy and have chemistry for each other?? It is very hard to climb the mountain right now when you feel there is a long way to go ;(

From what i remember of seeing your picture, you're quite attractive. In no time at all you'll be fending lads off again in 3d world, i have no doubt!!

magneticimpulse

gatecrash wrote: »

From what i remember of seeing your picture, you're quite attractive. In no time at all you'll be fending lads off again in 3d world, i have no doubt!!

Thanks You think that would make someone feel better haha... I did have a lot guys chatting me up..it made me feel worse actually. I thought, why does the one guy i like not want to be with me? I think guys just assume that I have it easy because I am not ugly...but i always get the "i am sure you will meet a nice person...as you are just too nice card".

Anyway...i got to stay positive and move on.

My mistake is when I do fancy someone, I am way too available to date them and guys get turned off by that...they dont realise I had to fend off lots of guys and by the time I meet them I am just happy...it works great when I have no interest in guys...but as soon as I show an interest...bam.

missrandomer

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Thanks You think that would make someone feel better haha... I did have a lot guys chatting me up..it made me feel worse actually. I thought, why does the one guy i like not want to be with me? I think guys just assume that I have it easy because I am not ugly...but i always get the "i am sure you will meet a nice person...as you are just too nice card".

Anyway...i got to stay positive and move on.

My mistake is when I do fancy someone, I am way too available to date them and guys get turned off by that...they dont realise I had to fend off lots of guys and by the time I meet them I am just happy...it works great when I have no interest in guys...but as soon as I show an interest...bam.

The too nice card is a real knock isnt it! I dont get it either.
Also if your not too "available" to date, then they think your playing games.

Dont give up, sometimes just when you think your done, something pops up and takes you by complete surprise
Just you wait and see x

cyrusdvirus

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Thanks You think that would make someone feel better haha... I did have a lot guys chatting me up..it made me feel worse actually. I thought, why does the one guy i like not want to be with me? I think guys just assume that I have it easy because I am not ugly...but i always get the "i am sure you will meet a nice person...as you are just too nice card".

Yeah, i have to admit that bit kinda sucks alright. I've experienced a similar enough type thing, where i might fancy a particular girl who isn't all that interested, while having a girl i'm not interested in be making her intentions quite clear!! It is very disillusioning when you can't understand why the one you want can't see what the other person does!!

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Anyway...i got to stay positive and move on.

My mistake is when I do fancy someone, I am way too available to date them and guys get turned off by that...they dont realise I had to fend off lots of guys and by the time I meet them I am just happy...it works great when I have no interest in guys...but as soon as I show an interest...bam.

i saw something similar happen with a mate of mine, where he felt that the girl wasn't giving him space and they ended up breaking up cos he was afraid of asking her for space in case she'd get hurt by that, yet he ended up resenting her because of his perceived lack of space

he's now happily married, so it wasn't meant to be, but i have seen what you mean....

HellFireClub

wobblyknees wrote: »

Ok, question for anyone who remembers. I had a situation where I thought someone was very forward after only one meeting but was willing to give her a second chance and we had actually arranged to meet again when she, in typical female fashion (joke!) decided to tie herself up in knots and cancel and then proceeded to block me with little or no reason to other than she was sure I didn't like her that much. Anyway, fast forward to a day or two ago and she messaged me again in a joking "I'm not really talking to you" kind of way. Now I like to think of myself as the non judgemental type and so I take these things at face value and so have been talking to her. We've actually been having a fun chat today and I'm thinking I should give her another chance and ask her to meet up. Am I completely nuts?

That's absolutely ridiculous behavior for any adult, seriously, good luck to you entertaining that nonsense. Whatever about getting the jitters before a date, that can happen to anyone, but blocking you, AND THEN she tries to make you feel bad about it by talking to you while half pretending she really still isn't talking you you?!? I've seen 12 year old Paris Hilton like behaviour on POF but this takes the biscuit!!! Seriously, does she think she's Marilyn Monroe or something?!?!?

Larianne

I agree.. I wouldn't be entertaining any of that nonsense. To be honest, it sounds like someone else came along, that didn't work out and she's back to see how it goes with you.

Sounds like a complete head wrecker.

riveratom

HellFireClub wrote: »

That's absolutely ridiculous behavior for any adult, seriously, good luck to you entertaining that nonsense. Whatever about getting the jitters before a date, that can happen to anyone, but blocking you, AND THEN she tries to make you feel bad about it by talking to you while half pretending she really still isn't talking you you?!? I've seen 12 year old Paris Hilton like behaviour on POF but this takes the biscuit!!! Seriously, does she think she's Marilyn Monroe or something?!?!?

And wanna guess how she can get away with it time and time again?

Because guys like wobblyknees let her!

wobblyknees

miamee wrote: »

She probably deleted it when she blocked you

If you have a good feeling about her go for it, nothing to lose except a bit of time on a date.

I'm going to ask her if she still has my number. I was joking with her about blocking me and she has taken it in a humerous way and jokingly suggested it was somehow my fault!

If she says she still has it, I'll suggest meeting again.