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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**
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HellFireClub wrote: »That's absolutely ridiculous behavior for any adult, seriously, good luck to you entertaining that nonsense. Whatever about getting the jitters before a date, that can happen to anyone, but blocking you, AND THEN she tries to make you feel bad about it by talking to you while half pretending she really still isn't talking you you?!? I've seen 12 year old Paris Hilton like behaviour on POF but this takes the biscuit!!! Seriously, does she think she's Marilyn Monroe or something?!?!?
Ok, I'm sure there is a reason for you feeling so strongly about this but the truth is, the conversation isnt that controversial, and the tone of her messages are not in the same vein as you have described. Perhaps I am wrong, but she seems to have a sense of humour and looking at it from the point of view that we are effectively strangers on the internet, I prefer to not take things too seriously.
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wobblyknees wrote: »Ok, I'm sure there is a reason for you feeling so strongly about this but the truth is, the conversation isnt that controversial, and the tone of her messages are not in the same vein as you have described. Perhaps I am wrong, but she seems to have a sense of humour and looking at it from the point of view that we are effectively strangers on the internet, I prefer to not take things too seriously.
Agree with you there.
Nobody knows the background, been in that situation myself. It's hard to convey what the situation.0 -
And wanna guess how she can get away with it time and time again?
Because guys like wobblyknees let her!Mr_Spaceman wrote: »Absolutely right.
If gullible men actually took a second to take stock of how they're being played and nip it in the bud, then Ms Attention Seeker would soon realise the tantrums, silly statements and basic nonsense won't work.
Sadly, said drama queen carries on behaving like an unhinged brat instead of a reasonable adult because some men are soft in the head.
I've a hunch this will not end well for wobblyknees.
If there is one thing I am not, it's gullible. I'm actually seeing the funny side to all of this and am not taking it that seriously.
The truth is we've only met once, and the conversation is very light hearted. As I said, we are in effect strangers so I find it difficult to judge this person in any way.0 -
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wobblyknees wrote: »Ok, I'm sure there is a reason for you feeling so strongly about this but the truth is, the conversation isnt that controversial, and the tone of her messages are not in the same vein as you have described. Perhaps I am wrong, but she seems to have a sense of humour and looking at it from the point of view that we are effectively strangers on the internet, I prefer to not take things too seriously.
I don't feel strongly about the thing one bit, in any man's vocabulary, blocking someone for the reasons you've outlined, is extremely childish brat like behaviour that you'd slap the arse off a child for, let alone tolerate from any adult!
What I read when I read your reply, is that it appears to me that maybe you might be inclined to run with this carry on if you are not having much luck at the moment with OD. Well my advice is don't run with it just because you might be going through a bit of a famine at the moment and be feeling a bit sorry for yourself.
There are things I'll put up with and there are things I won't, I'll put up with nerves, jitters, cancelled dates, deleted profiles after agreeing to meet, shyness, weirdness, I'll run with lot of stuff, but bitchiness & immaturity I'd never run with.0 -
wobblyknees wrote: »If there is one thing I am not, it's gullible. I'm actually seeing the funny side to all of this and am not taking it that seriously.
The truth is we've only met once, and the conversation is very light hearted. As I said, we are in effect strangers so I find it difficult to judge this person in any way.
I think you're seeing the funny side of it man because you fancy her and you want to think there could be something there if you meet her again.
The thing is, she blocked you! And then emailed you back, even though she had cancelled on the second date for no reason....what age is she out of interest?!0 -
HellFireClub wrote: »I don't feel strongly about the thing one bit, in any man's vocabulary, blocking someone for the reasons you've outlined, is extremely childish brat like behaviour that you'd slap the arse off a child for, let alone tolerate from any adult!
What I read when I read your reply, is that it appears to me that maybe you might be inclined to run with this carry on if you are not having much luck at the moment with OD. Well my advice is don't run with it just because you might be going through a bit of a famine at the moment and be feeling a bit sorry for yourself.
There are things I'll put up with and there are things I won't, I'll put up with nerves, jitters, cancelled dates, deleted profiles after agreeing to meet, shyness, weirdness, I'll run with lot of stuff, but bitchiness & immaturity I'd never run with.
I appreciate the reply but in all honesty, I think you are reading too much into this. I'm not feeling sorry for myself at all, I really do take the 'situation' with a pinch of salt and although I like the idea of meeting someone, I am definitely in no rush to meet anyone. The way I see it is quite simple, we are strangers, on the internet, who have met once. I don't actually know her at all apart from an hour over coffee and some interaction by mail/text.
Also, I would never slap the arse of my or any kids for any reason, but thats just me! 0 -
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wobblyknees wrote: »I appreciate the reply but in all honesty, I think you are reading too much into this. I'm not feeling sorry for myself at all, I really do take the 'situation' with a pinch of salt and although I like the idea of meeting someone, I am definitely in no rush to meet anyone. The way I see it is quite simple, we are strangers, on the internet, who have met once. I don't actually know her at all apart from an hour over coffee and some interaction by mail/text.
Also, I would never slap the arse of my or any kids for any reason, but thats just me!
I was clearly being facetious regarding the arse slapping for the purposes of making a point!
Any person carrying on like this in their mid 30's has a behavioural problem. I still think you are running with it because in your head the bar has obviously had to be lowered, why else would you entertain this nonsense? And it isn't just me calling it on here as nonsense I might add...0 -
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Yeah, i have to admit that bit kinda sucks alright. I've experienced a similar enough type thing, where i might fancy a particular girl who isn't all that interested, while having a girl i'm not interested in be making her intentions quite clear!! It is very disillusioning when you can't understand why the one you want can't see what the other person does!!
i saw something similar happen with a mate of mine, where he felt that the girl wasn't giving him space and they ended up breaking up cos he was afraid of asking her for space in case she'd get hurt by that, yet he ended up resenting her because of his perceived lack of space
he's now happily married, so it wasn't meant to be, but i have seen what you mean....
We had 8 weeks apart between me away for 2 weeks holiday, him 2 weeks holiday...1 week work trip, weekends visiting family and friends...I gave him so much space. When we were together it was good but there was so much stopping an starting. It might seem crazy but when you consider people have holidays booked in summer before you start dating...and they have weddings to attend and already planned...you have to just go with it, without coming across as too clingy...so I did try to avoid that. Note for next time...date during winter when its dark, cold and they want someone to curl up against on the sofa and there are no weddings/holidays to get in the way.
What got me was that he was still popping onto his online dating profile over the 3 months...i gave him the benefit of the doubt since it was only about once a week and he didnt have anything on his profile...but by 3 months and putting himself 1st all the time I just had enough...and it is true he admitted himself that if you like someone you go out of your way to make time for them...By the end I just felt like he was hanging onto me until he found someone better via online dating. I mean maybe I was jumping ahead of myself and wanting to be too serious....but come on if you both meet via online dating....surely it is obvious that the other person is going to be curious and check out your profile or if you are still actively searching??? Just to clarify I had deleted my original profile about 6 weeks after dating him...so yeah its never a good thing to be checking up on him after that..i know that was bad too. But I just went with my gut feeling and checked up on him. With online dating there is so much doubt left out there, like when do you stop using it etc. I know the same can happen with any guy/girl who goes on a night out, there is potential to be distracted. I also considered that maybe he was checking up on me checking up on him? But he never clicked on my blank profile. I am sure he knew thou...and the fact I kept it secret prob didnt help the situation either...I will never know.
Either way I think if he was mad about me it would have worked out regardless.
argh...lots of people get in relationships...so it cannot be impossible...
Just online dating doesnt seem to be the way to go...even if you make it beyond date 25 etc, the fact that he was still checking on his online dating killed it all...at the same time at least it was a good way to find out that he was not interested in me?
Right too much thinking about this and over analysis...0 -
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Had a second date there the other night, went very well. Not sure what the story is. Haven't heard from her since, bit disappointed as I really like her
I'm a bit rusty with all this stuff, haven't been out with anyone for a year now.
Any ideas on what I should do next ?
Yes. You should contact her.0 -
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I agree.. I wouldn't be entertaining any of that nonsense. To be honest, it sounds like someone else came along, that didn't work out and she's back to see how it goes with you.
Sounds like a complete head wrecker.And wanna guess how she can get away with it time and time again?
Because guys like wobblyknees let her!Mr_Spaceman wrote: »Absolutely right.
If gullible men actually took a second to take stock of how they're being played and nip it in the bud, then Ms Attention Seeker would soon realise the tantrums, silly statements and basic nonsense won't work.
Sadly, said drama queen carries on behaving like an unhinged brat instead of a reasonable adult because some men are soft in the head.
I've a hunch this will not end well for wobblyknees.HellFireClub wrote: »I don't feel strongly about the thing one bit, in any man's vocabulary, blocking someone for the reasons you've outlined, is extremely childish brat like behaviour that you'd slap the arse off a child for, let alone tolerate from any adult!
What I read when I read your reply, is that it appears to me that maybe you might be inclined to run with this carry on if you are not having much luck at the moment with OD. Well my advice is don't run with it just because you might be going through a bit of a famine at the moment and be feeling a bit sorry for yourself.
There are things I'll put up with and there are things I won't, I'll put up with nerves, jitters, cancelled dates, deleted profiles after agreeing to meet, shyness, weirdness, I'll run with lot of stuff, but bitchiness & immaturity I'd never run with.I think you're seeing the funny side of it man because you fancy her and you want to think there could be something there if you meet her again.
The thing is, she blocked you! And then emailed you back, even though she had cancelled on the second date for no reason....what age is she out of interest?!HellFireClub wrote: »I was clearly being facetious regarding the arse slapping for the purposes of making a point!
Any person carrying on like this in their mid 30's has a behavioural problem. I still think you are running with it because in your head the bar has obviously had to be lowered, why else would you entertain this nonsense? And it isn't just me calling it on here as nonsense I might add...She sounds like a teenager. I don't know why alarm bells are not ringing for you! It's so obvious she would wreck anyones head.
I have to say, I really do appreciate everyones comments. I can understand why there are certain reactions to this but I will say that it can be difficult to really guage things properly unless you are communicating directly with someone. On the other hand, I completely accept that she has shown herself to be a little impulsive and rash, but I am someone who believes in not judging someone without knowing the full picture or the person in question, and the truth is, I don't really know her. Its not my style. The point I am at right now is that the conversation has been very light hearted and I have been joking very directly with her about it and she seems to be taking it in the best possible way, up to the point where I have been very direct about the fact that I might have wanted to meet her again but her acting the way she did put me off, and she actually accepts this. I think I'm probably at the stage where I will meet up with her again for a coffee and be straight and honest with her face to face, and see how she reacts. In the end, I think I have nothing to lose and only a lesson to learn. And that, my friends is what life is all about for me. 0 -
wobblyknees wrote: »Ok, that was enjoyable. She is ridiculously intelligent and interesting, and she is also bloody gorgeous in real life to boot. I'm not sure what way this will go yet but it was nice to meet her either way.
Ok, so we are definitely going to meet up again.
Any suggestions on an interesting and stimulating second date in Dublin?0 -
wobblyknees wrote: »Ok, so we are definitely going to meet up again.
Any suggestions on an interesting and stimulating second date in Dublin?
Gorgeous people get away with sooooooo much ****e!!!0 -
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Where are you likely to be meeting her?wobblyknees wrote: »Ok, so we are definitely going to meet up again.
Any suggestions on an interesting and stimulating second date in Dublin?
If Dublin city, how about Oktoberfest? Theatre? Liffey Cruise? Jeanie Johnston? Wax Museum or Leprechaun Museum (lots of laughs in either of those)
It depends what you are both interested in I guess
Any of those followed by a meal and a drink or two would be a nice way to spend an afternoon/evening getting to know someone IMO. 0 -
Where are you likely to be meeting her?
If Dublin city, how about Oktoberfest? Theatre? Liffey Cruise? Jeanie Johnston? Wax Museum or Leprechaun Museum (lots of laughs in either of those)
It depends what you are both interested in I guess Any of those followed by a meal and a drink or two would be a nice way to spend an afternoon/evening getting to know someone IMO.
I would avoid theatre/cinema for date. You need to go somewhere you can talk and get to know each other.0 -
I think its the one who cancelled a 2nd date with him and who went on to block him on the dating sight. Maybe I'm wrong.No I don't think it's her, this one he only met recently (I think)wobblyknees wrote: »Ok, so we are definitely going to meet up again.
I simply can't keep track of the love lives of you lot!:D 0 -
Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,163 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 11381
I would avoid theatre/cinema for date. You need to go somewhere you can talk and get to know each other.
That's true actually, I always say no to cinema as a first/second date so it would be the same for theatre. Unless it's something we both particularly wanted to see. I just mentioned that as the theatre festival is on in Dublin at the moment 0 -
Gorgeous people get away with sooooooo much ****e!!!I think this is a different chick.I think its the one who cancelled a 2nd date with him and who went on to block him on the dating sight. Maybe I'm wrong.No I don't think it's her, this one he only met recently (I think)Where are you likely to be meeting her?
If Dublin city, how about Oktoberfest? Theatre? Liffey Cruise? Jeanie Johnston? Wax Museum or Leprechaun Museum (lots of laughs in either of those)
It depends what you are both interested in I guess Any of those followed by a meal and a drink or two would be a nice way to spend an afternoon/evening getting to know someone IMO.I would avoid theatre/cinema for date. You need to go somewhere you can talk and get to know each other.I simply can't keep track of the love lives of you lot!:D
All of the above made me smile. It's the girl I met the other day for a coffee, she had to cancel twice, I cancelled once and then we eventually met the other day. I now understand completely why she had to cancel having spoken to her. She is someone I think I could end up liking a lot.
As it stands, it might be a midweek afternoon that we meet so am not certain of what we should do but definitely agree that cinema/theatre is a conversation and atmosphere killer so early on. Also, neither of us would be looking to go somewhere drinking so thats out also! 0 -
wobblyknees wrote: »Ok, so we are definitely going to meet up again.
Any suggestions on an interesting and stimulating second date in Dublin?
I always say the laughter lounge is a great spot for a date! Great comedy to avoid long silences. You have time to chat before the show , between the acts (I mean during the breaks not during the MC - sure fire way to have a new @rsehole ripped out of you) and afterwards. You always have a conversation starter "that first guy was hillarious.....what was his name? was she on tv? etc"
Theres also music after - a DJ comes on.
All round perfect night imo!0 -
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If you would need something like that to keep conversation going maybe you are dating the wrong person. I have only have long silences on dates when I didn't like/fancy the person. I'm a quite person but I think keeping conversation going should be easy with someone you like.
It's QUIET not QUITE!!!!!!
AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D 0
This discussion has been closed.
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