The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Galvasean

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

I understand it just fine.

I wasn't referring to you specifically.

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

But all other things being equal, it's a less attractive prospect to me.

That's cool. Each to their own.

Daveysil15

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Honestly, I've only made the first move on a message once. I'm too scared of rejection, not ashamed to admit it.

What exactly are you scared of? I'm not trying to have a go at you or anything, but I don't see what there is to be afraid of. It's not like getting rejected in the real world. You just don't get a message back from the person.

Mr_Spaceman

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Honestly, I've only made the first move on a message once. I'm too scared of rejection, not ashamed to admit it.

At least you're honest, Lynda.

At the same time, if men felt as scared of rejection too, I reckon in the majority of cases we'd all be doomed.

While women screen large numbers of messages (and yes, I appreciate many of those will be from messers and other assorted freaks), your average dude quietly wonders if he might get a single reply from a carpet-bombing campaign!

At the end of the day, it's only a message on the internet.

AnnyHallsal

Galvasean wrote: »

That's cool. Each to their own.

Amen!

Galvasean

Daveysil15 wrote: »

What exactly are you scared of? I'm not trying to have a go at you or anything, but I don't see what there is to be afraid of. It's not like getting rejected in the real world. You just don't get a message back from the person.

I don't get it either. I understand why somebody could/would fear rejection IRL. I mean, you may end up looking foolish in public. But in OD? What is really the worst that can happen? I mean they might not reply. That's it. Whereas if you don't mail them they definitely won't reply.

Galvasean

Galvasean wrote: »

New profiler uploaded.

One new profile view already.

hells, commence movement toward the yeah!

Mr_Spaceman

foxinsox wrote: »

I have sent messages to guys..

Some have answered some have ignored, same for everyone I reckon.


So this time I lasted a week online dating, honestly I'm just not cut out for it, I'd rather be single and buy lots of cats..

I reckon its near impossible to get to know someone unless meeting them in real life..

I've mailed and browsed myself to near death in the past week. I honestly don't think I will find someone online.

I'm getting older, but I look and act fairly young (not immature) and the guys mailing me are much older, more like my da :-/ No matter how I dislike the single life, I just can't go out with someone who looks older than my da. Maybe I'm a fussy bitch but honestly I gave it a good go.

It just knocks your confidence, mails being completley ignored, by guys I probably wouldn't look twice at in the pub. Flirty sexy, in some cases pure filth in mails and of course the good ol full frontal pics..just doesn't do it for me!

So I have given up and closed my account.

Have I lost the plot?

Anyone have about twenty cats for sale?

How old are you, Foxy? Maybe as we all get a bit older we become more jaded and cynical. I know I am!

Don't go and lose the plot though. Sometimes you can be overly analytical and think too much when it comes to all this carry-on. Probably best to take a break from things for a while.

Anyway, cats are cuddly, but they're notoriously fickle as well!

Galvasean

Spaceman is right. Cats 'cheat' on their owners by sneaking off and getting fed/cuddled by other families.

foxinsox

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

How old are you, Foxy? Maybe as we all get a bit older we become more jaded and cynical. I know I am!

Don't go and lose the plot though. Sometimes you can be overly analytical and think too much when it comes to all this carry-on. Probably best to take a break from things for a while.

Anyway, cats are cuddly, but they're notoriously fickle as well!

lol.. Thanks Mister..

I'm 44, so well jaded and cynical :pac:

Sorry I get what you mean, my post may have come across as a bit miserable, I'm not at all, in a jaded way I just couldn't be arsed with all the nonsense and hoops I'm supposed to jump through online dating.

I am happy enough, I do meet guys when out, so I guess I was kinda taking the easy "shopping from home" route, but have just come to the conclusion that it isn't for me.

I'm not saying it doesn't work, I've friends who met online and are now married.

So I'm not being miserable, just realistic, and haven't the patience for it.

I don't even really like cats..

Esoteric_

Daveysil15 wrote: »

What exactly are you scared of? I'm not trying to have a go at you or anything, but I don't see what there is to be afraid of. It's not like getting rejected in the real world. You just don't get a message back from the person.

I can't speak for other people, but in my case - I'm cripplingly insecure at times. So I tend to not do something I'm uncomfortable with. I don't make the first move either online or IRL. Obviously not a great approach, but it's not hindered me thus far.

Mr_Spaceman

foxinsox wrote: »

lol.. Thanks Mister..

I'm 44, so well jaded and cynical :pac:

Sorry I get what you mean, my post may have come across as a bit miserable, I'm not at all, in a jaded way I just couldn't be arsed with all the nonsense and hoops I'm supposed to jump through online dating.

I am happy enough, I do meet guys when out, so I guess I was kinda taking the easy "shopping from home" route, but have just come to the conclusion that it isn't for me.

I'm not saying it doesn't work, I've friends who met online and are now married.

So I'm not being miserable, just realistic, and haven't the patience for it.

I don't even really like cats..

Well, I'm 43 and still a kid (albeit a grouchy one sometimes) trapped in a man's body.

Perhaps the shopping from home (haha) option will appeal later on. Don't forget, you can 'shop' from the comfort of home without either having to make an effort or putting your best foot forward!

I get fecked off with the lack of replies in this whole OD pish. I would, however, rather die than send a pic standing in front of the mirror while sending a 'Hi baby, u r hot' message. I can't get my head round that.

Keep the faith.

Esoteric_

:eek: I've just received a really nice message from possibly the most attractive man I have ever seen in my life. :eek:

Things are looking up!

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

One new profile view already.

hells, commence movement toward the yeah!

You go, fella!

Galvasean needs an OD break here, folks! Look out!

Galvasean

LyndaMcL wrote: »

:eek: I've just received a really nice message from possibly the most attractive man I have ever seen in my life. :eek:

Things are looking up!

OOh, That_Guy must be back...

*can't win*

*stops trying*

Esoteric_

Galvasean wrote: »

OOh, That_Guy must be back...

*can't win*

*stops trying*

I refuse to ever communicate with boardsies on a dating site again, so no, not him. :pac:

riveratom

LyndaMcL wrote: »

:eek: I've just received a really nice message from possibly the most attractive man I have ever seen in my life. :eek:

Things are looking up!

Wahey for you!

My Thursday of this week date is now on for next Tuesday. Plus should be teeing up another one for next week with a very nice-looking girl

magneticimpulse

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I refuse to ever communicate with boardsies on a dating site again, so no, not him. :pac:

How do you know they don't read/follow boards??

I nearly died when a guy I was on a online date with said he followed the boards thread...then I was wondering if he had a username/contributed or just followed...right away I thought of a boardsie it could have been but i dont think it was him!

If it did turn out to be another boardsie it might have been scary or funny

missrandomer

magneticimpulse wrote: »

How do you know they don't read/follow boards??

I nearly died when a guy I was on a online date with said he followed the boards thread...then I was wondering if he had a username/contributed or just followed...right away I thought of a boardsie it could have been but i dont think it was him!

If it did turn out to be another boardsie it might have been scary or funny

Ive wondered this too, how could you tell if the person your messaging is a boardsie

I would love to see what one or two look like in real life though :D i always wonder do they look as good as they seem on boards

Prick!

missrandomer wrote: »

Ive wondered this too, how could you tell if the person your messaging is a boardsie

I would love to see what one or two look like in real life though :D i always wonder do they look as good as they seem on boards

I am exactly the way I am seen on boards, a prick!

Esoteric_

missrandomer wrote: »

Ive wondered this too, how could you tell if the person your messaging is a boardsie

I would love to see what one or two look like in real life though :D i always wonder do they look as good as they seem on boards

I know what the majority of boardsies that I talk to actually look like! I've met several of them, too.

So unless it's a boardsie I have never seen, or one of the regs in this thread that I've not seen pics of yet, I should be fine. xD

wobblyknees

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I know what the majority of boardsies that I talk to actually look like! I've met several of them, too.

So unless it's a boardsie I have never seen, or one of the regs in this thread that I've not seen pics of yet, I should be fine. xD

Thats what you think.....muwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Honey-ec

I had four or five Boardsies recognise me on POF because a couple of my pics were ones I'd already posted in Know Your Clubbers/Loungers.

And ENOUGH with the massive generalisations of how women behave on OD. If I spotted a guy I liked the look of online, I happily messaged him first. We're not all:

- quivering in fear of rejection
- so up ourselves we don't think we need to bother
- shallow
- vacuous
- hyprocrites
- crazy
- hormonal

or any of the other myriad things that are constantly bandied about on this thread.

Some people on OD are assholes.
Some are fine.

It's as simple as that. Gender has fcuk all got to do with it.

Prick!

Honey-ec wrote: »

I had four or five Boardsies recognise me on POF because a couple of my pics were ones I'd already posted in Know Your Clubbers/Loungers.

And ENOUGH with the massive generalisations of how women behave on OD. If I spotted a guy I liked the look of online, I happily messaged him first. We're not all:

- quivering in fear of rejection
- so up ourselves we don't think we need to bother
- shallow
- vacuous
- hyprocrites
- crazy
- hormonal

or any of the other myriad things that are constantly bandied about on this thread.

Some people on OD are assholes.
Some are fine.

It's as simple as that. Gender has fcuk all got to do with it.

Yes it does. Generally women don't mail men.

riveratom

Honey-ec wrote: »

I had four or five Boardsies recognise me on POF because a couple of my pics were ones I'd already posted in Know Your Clubbers/Loungers.

And ENOUGH with the massive generalisations of how women behave on OD. If I spotted a guy I liked the look of online, I happily messaged him first. We're not all:

- quivering in fear of rejection
- so up ourselves we don't think we need to bother
- shallow
- vacuous
- hyprocrites
- crazy
- hormonal

or any of the other myriad things that are constantly bandied about on this thread.

Some people on OD are assholes.
Some are fine.

It's as simple as that. Gender has fcuk all got to do with it.

Prick! wrote: »

Yes it does. Generally women don't mail men.

Have to back up Honey-ec here, I am not bragging believe me but I have about 25-30 messages in my POF inbox from different women, plus several more on a couple of paid sites.

I'd say I get a message from a different girl every second day or so.

The only thing that can be called absolute fact in relation to gender... is that there are no absolute facts in relation to gender.

Prick!

riveratom wrote: »

Have to back up Honey-ec here, I am not bragging believe me but I have about 25-30 messages in my POF inbox from different women, plus several more on a couple of paid site.

I'd say I get a message from a different girl every day.

The only thing that can be called absolute fact in relation to gender... is that there are no absolute facts in relation to gender.

You're one man.

Generally means 50%+1

So unless 50% + 1 men get messages regularly from women then the generalization is correct.

Mr_Spaceman

riveratom wrote: »

Have to back up Honey-ec here, I am not bragging believe me but I have about 25-30 messages in my POF inbox from different women, plus several more on a couple of paid sites.

I'd say I get a message from a different girl every second day or so.

The only thing that can be called absolute fact in relation to gender... is that there are no absolute facts in relation to gender.

You're definitely an exception then. Clearly a devilish handsome young fellow! How old are you?

I'd say age is a definite factor here - and for men, the younger the better the chances of receiving messages. There is absolutely no doubt that, in general, the majority of men send far, far more messages than women. They don't have much choice.

That's just the way it is, and unfortunately most of us ordinary dudes have to work hard to gain any progress via OD.

Zhora

So I've sent messages to guys but have had none of them replied to. So Riveratom, do you reply to any of these messages from girls? If so why would you respond to some and not others?

Prick!

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

You're definitely an exception then. Clearly a devilish handsome young fellow! How old are you?

I'd say age is a definite factor here - and for men, the younger the better the chances of receiving messages. There is absolutely no doubt that, in general, the majority of men send far, far more messages than women. They don't have much choice.

That's just the way it is, and unfortunately most of us ordinary dudes have to work hard to gain any progress via OD.

I'm 21 and it's a struggle.

Mr_Spaceman

Another example.

I've sent a message to a girl this evening. Reasonably detailed and witty, mentioning shared interests etc. Nothing generic at all - and it would easily stand out among the 'Hi, how are you?' chancers she'll no doubt hear from.

The thing is though - I wouldn't even say she's stunning to look at. Cute, yes, but her interests appealed to me.

She has viewed me already, but I can tell she probably won't bother replying. From what I can see this is the reality for most men.

You know, I'm not going to get wound-up about it, but I send messages like this regularly. Most nights in fact.

And for what?

Fcuk all, mostly. A date once in a while if I'm lucky.

I'm no Brad Pitt, but I scrub up okay I think. The trouble is when people - especially women in OD - have a multitude of options (ie, actually being able to choose who to message/date) then it's an uphill battle for the bulk of men to get past first base.

miamee

Women messaging men - I do this quite often and get about the same responses as men are reporting ranging from mostly silence to mails saying thanks but I "just" met someone.

Misconception that women are plagued with messages - not true for all women, e.g. received 3 messages on OKC on 24th Sep, nothing since. Similar on POF apart from the rubbish "hi how are u?" ones.

Thread meet up - some people have PM'd their interest already, it might work. It's 27 Oct in Dublin, over thirties place with 80s and 90s music, free in before 10.30pm. Not entirely sure I'm even.going myself but of you want the info/event link let me know.