The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

cyrusdvirus

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Yeah, it's a pain in the backside when people don't fill out their profiles.

That said, I don't think that filling out their profile will stop the inundation of messages, because plenty of men will just say 'Hi, how are you?' regardless of what's written or not written on a profile.


Also, received three messages from somebody with no profile picture. They weren't even interesting, just calling me beautiful or stunning, the sort of thing you ignore (even if it's flattering). Today, he messaged me again, with a picture, saying 'i have to say this ur beautiful and id love to get into ur knickers.'

Do guys REALLY think that this approach works?!

i have no idea.

I've never even tried it to be honest.

Mr_Spaceman

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Also, received three messages from somebody with no profile picture. They weren't even interesting, just calling me beautiful or stunning, the sort of thing you ignore (even if it's flattering). Today, he messaged me again, with a picture, saying 'i have to say this ur beautiful and id love to get into ur knickers.'

Do guys REALLY think that this approach works?!

The brain dead do, Lynda.

And sadly, very few ever take the hint that perhaps, this silver-tongued approach might be slightly flawed.

These cretins just make life harder in OD for the rest of us with reasonable articulacy and social skills.

cyrusdvirus

mood wrote: »

I assume it's because they think they don't have to bother making any effort to attract men with anything other than their looks. In my experience a lot of guy don't read profiles anyway so maybe they are right :rolleyes:

I've always read profiles.

I wouldn't be able to even try starting a conversation with a girl without having some sort of idea what she is like

cyrusdvirus

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

The brain dead do, Lynda.

And sadly, very few ever take the hint that perhaps, this silver-tongued approach might be slightly flawed.

These cretins just make life harder in DATING, 3D world and Online for the rest of us with reasonable articulacy and social skills.

normally i ate FYP posts, so i'm just gonna go with EYP (edited your post)

Esoteric_

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

The brain dead do, Lynda.

And sadly, very few ever take the hint that perhaps, this silver-tongued approach might be slightly flawed.

These cretins just make life harder in OD for the rest of us with reasonable articulacy and social skills.

I have to agree that it makes it harder for the good guys. I've noticed that the more sleazy messages I receive, the more time I spend avoiding logging in because I couldn't be bothered. That said, I do respond to the nice guys!

Mr_Spaceman

mood wrote: »

Would it be rude in such a situation, particularly if the person with the poor quality photo contacts you first, to ask if they have another photo?

Well seeing as messages from women to me initially are as rare as rocking horse ****, I can't see this happening!

Seriously though, I wouldn't even be arsed going there. OD is hard enough without accommodating a narcissist.

Sunglasses indeed... just get them to feck!

Galvasean

gatecrash wrote: »

Why oh why oh WHY do attractive women feel they don't need to fill out their profiles and adopt Galva's snapping turtle approach.

bad news bro. The turtle, he died of starvation

mood wrote: »

I assume it's because they think they don't have to bother making any effort to attract men with anything other than their looks. In my experience a lot of guy don't read profiles anyway so maybe they are right :rolleyes:

They most certainly are NOT right! Sure they probably get a bunch of 'hey how r u?' messages from tossers, but they won't get decent messages from good guys as they have nothing to go on. I notice that the pretty girls with no profile info tend to be on these sites forever. It's quite telling really. Their rubbish profiles fail to attract quality messages from quality men so they're stuck there feeling sorry for themselves and wondering where 'all the decent guys' have gone'.

mood

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I have to agree that it makes it harder for the good guys. I've noticed that the more sleazy messages I receive, the more time I spend avoiding logging in because I couldn't be bothered. That said, I do respond to the nice guys!

I said it before but if everyone reported sleazy messages these people might get kicked off the site and make OD a nicer, easier experience of non-sleazy people.

Galvasean

Anybody do that 'best face' thing on OKC? My report just came in now. Quite an eye opener. As it turns out the picture I thought was the least attractive of the bunch scored highest, while the one I thought was the best scored worst and it scales up thusly (ie: inversely).
Curiously, the one that scored lowest was the one that scored best in my previous report, before I revamped my photo set up and was the sole survivor from said revamp.

Apparently I score very highly among liberals, free spirits, nerds, artists and extroverts.
On the other hand I score incredibly lowly among conservatives, divas, vegetarians, Christians, introverts and stoners. feh, never liked those guys anyway! :pac:

miamee

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I've just clicked on another profile... the girl in question has one pic. Wearing sunglasses.

I know this has been covered before, but FFS, why bother? You could be anyone.

It's a pity as she seems to have similar interests to me and quite switched on.

I can do one better. Guy messaged me earlier. His profile pic is his FRIEND ON HIS WEDDING DAY. Arms wrapped around bride in white dress. His other profile pics are of his other friends and one of his cousin. All on their wedding day, with bride. I suppose it is one way to make your intention clear :eek: :eek:

mood

miamee wrote: »

I can do one better. Guy messaged me earlier. His profile pic is his FRIEND ON HIS WEDDING DAY. Arms wrapped around bride in white dress. His other profile pics are of his other friends and one of his cousin. All on their wedding day, with bride. I suppose it is one way to make your intention clear :eek: :eek:

I got an email from a guy with a blank profile - no photo and nothing fill in at all so all I know were his age and location (essentials for opening the a/c in the first place). He really must have thought I was desperate and might reply!

Mr_Spaceman

I got one of those 'So-and-so is checking you out right now' on OKC. Supposedly a really great match which is why they notify you.

Turns out the lady is a committed Christian. Let's just say I'm not.

Her taste in music was pish as well.

Technology is great... when it works, eh?!

You have to laugh.

Galvasean

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I got one of those 'So-and-so is checking you out right now' on OKC. Supposedly a really great match which is why they notify you.

Turns out the lady is a committed Christian. Let's just say I'm not.

Her taste in music was pish as well.

Technology is great... when it works, eh?!

You have to laugh.

Opposites attract maybe?

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

Opposites attract maybe?

It does happen - but in this case, I'll pass.

Anyhow, religious people have OD sites for like-minds don't they? Or at least they should as it would save them having to sift through all the non-believers.

Daveysil15

Is complimenting someone in a first message a no-no? Telling a girl she has a nice pair of... eyes for example. Or she looks nice in her photo?

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Is complimenting someone in a first message a no-no? Telling a girl she has a nice pair of... eyes for example. Or she looks nice in her photo?

Don't. I got a few of those and it's just awkward!

JohnMearsheimer

Just an update. I've been together with my girl now coming up on 7 months, that's on top of a month of emailing each other before going out. We've been away for weekends together and I've met members of her family, including her parents. Keep the heads up, I had a few terrible dates before meeting her

crapmanjoe

mood wrote: »

Don't. I got a few of those and it's just awkward!

Really? i sometimes say something along the lines of "you have a nice smile" - wouldnt consider that creepy

But maybe it explains my low reply rate

Tchaikovsky

Ah feck it lads, I've had enough of this crock of sh1t. I'd rather be single and happy with myself for the rest of my days rather than chasing after women and having them shoot my confidence to pieces.

Galvasean

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

Ah feck it lads, I've had enough of this crock of sh1t. I'd rather be single and happy with myself for the rest of my days rather than chasing after women and having them shoot my confidence to pieces.

Aw man I thought you had been doing alright. Wanna elaborate on the change?

Tchaikovsky

Galvasean wrote: »

Aw man I thought you had been doing alright. Wanna elaborate on the change?

I'm just sick of being hopeful all the time; what's the point when every time you're left disappointed. That's five girls I've gone out in the last 6 weeks or so and not one second date. Some of them wouldn't reply afterwards for 4 or 5 days and it just seems all a bit rubbish. I can't seem to ever meet a girl who I'm attracted to who is also attracted to me.

Galvasean

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

I'm just sick of being hopeful all the time; what's the point when every time you're left disappointed. That's five girls I've gone out in the last 6 weeks or so and not one second date. Some of them wouldn't reply afterwards for 4 or 5 days and it just seems all a bit rubbish. I can't seem to ever meet a girl who I'm attracted to who is also attracted to me.

That's quite rough. I still don't get how some people think you should feel a 'spark' for someone after a short coffee date of little over a half an hour (Anyone who thinks they feel one straight away is usually just experiencing lust).
Could be worse I guess. You could be like me and have a tiny penis and be completely unable to get mails replied to, let alone a date off anyone despite having had very little problem in the past.
The girls I message always visit my profile, but then decide not to reply. I can only assume that I am a handsome bugger but my personality stinks! :pac:

Tchaikovsky

Galvasean wrote: »

That's quite rough. I still don't get how some people think you should feel a 'spark' for someone after a short coffee date of little over a half an hour (Anyone who thinks they feel one straight away is usually just experiencing lust).
Could be worse I guess. You could be like me and have a tiny penis and be completely unable to get mails replied to, let alone a date off anyone despite having had very little problem in the past.
The girls I message always visit my profile, but then decide not to reply. I can only assume that I am a handsome bugger but my personality stinks! :pac:

Thanks for the kind words It's so frustrating when you know you could offer someone so much, but they aren't willing to give you that opportunity after only 2 hours together.
You seem to have had it rough lately aswell, so I hope- check that, I'm sure!- that things will start looking up for you soon

Galvasean

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

You seem to have had it rough lately aswell, so I hope- check that, I'm sure!- that things will start looking up for you soon

Well, they actually can't get any worse (unless i find a way to get a negative number of replies). Strangely, despite the lack of success I'm enjoying my latest foray - a sort of morbid curiosity has taken over me (in a sort of 'what will it take' kind of way), much unlike the last time where I grew increasingly frustrated and had to take a break. So, this is me with a new (and admittedly weird) attitude toward online dating. I'm reveling in my own failure so to speak, laughing at how stupid everyone else is for not recognising just how much of a catch I am.

Mr_Spaceman

Tchaikovsky,

If it's any consolation, I'm in a similar position right now.

Jumping through hoops just to get a date, then you go on a few with ladies, if lucky, and things seldom go any further than the first.

In my experience of OD women expect instant magic - it's as simple (and largely unrealistic) as that.

I'm not saying I'm some hot ticket, but even though I have a great sense of humour, tick all kinds of boxes, blah, blah, it isn't enough, apparently.

The laughable bit is you then log on to OD sites to be confronted with 'Are there any honest, genuine men out there?' style crap. *

Well, actually there are. Loads of us, in fact - as this thread fully illustrates.

It's quietly soul-destroying to be perfectly honest.

Despite all the disappointment, I'll keep trying, but I'm under no illusions.


*Disclaimer: The ladies on this thread seem to have their shit together and understand the vagaries of OD.

Tchaikovsky

That's all very true and all very disheartening. But I seem to have a track record with it; when meeting girls day-to-day aswell- hell, even when they did the approaching! I just don't get where I'm going wrong. (I don't talk about my hard luck stories with girls I meet btw, hehe)

Galvasean

Aw man, just found a profile that I would consider perfect, perfect! Wrote the best damn message i've ever sent to anyone.
Now watch as I come back in a rut a day or two from now having had my profile viewed and message gone unreplied. :pac:

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

Aw man, just found a profile that I would consider perfect, perfect! Wrote the best damn message i've ever sent to anyone.
Now watch as I come back in a rut a day or two from now having had my profile viewed and message gone unreplied. :pac:

The key is at least you can laugh about it. Treat the whole thing as some kind of experimental farce.

You never know, the lucky lady may be blown away by your purple prose. We shall expect big news soon, no doubt!

Galvasean

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

The key is at least you can laugh about it. Treat the whole thing as some kind of experimental farce.

That's my thinking exactly. The other road leads to nothing more than madness and death.

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

You never know, the lucky lady may be blown away by your purple prose. We shall expect big news soon, no doubt!

I just read that in Professor Farnsworth's voice. I now make this following promise to you and you alone; If by some cosmic fluke I get a date with this particular girl I will post this on thread and nothing more.

Tchaikovsky

Well that's my account deleted, phew!
And may I never have to go back to the murky world of OD ever again