The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Dubsta

No point indeed! I've been on both sides of the coin! Never feel good after it!! Ya either feel bad for not being interested or that there is something wrong with you on the other side! :ShakesHead:

Give up and remain single!! Taaa dahhh!! :rollseyes:

Piliger

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Jasus that was a bit rude. It must be awkward though when someone really likes the person they're on a date with, but the other person doesn't feel the same way. I suppose there's no point in beating about the bush.

Well I always give it 40 minutes at least out of respect, either way. And having gone to the trouble of getting ready and travelled, I personally enjoy meeting new people and have no problem chatting to someone I don't happen to fancy as long as they show the same respect.

Respect costs nothing. Common courtesy costs nothing and I cannot stand people who lack those basic elements of character.

Daveysil15

Dubsta wrote: »

No point indeed! I've been on both sides of the coin! Never feel good after it!! Ya either feel bad for not being interested or that there is something wrong with you on the other side! :ShakesHead:

Give up and remain single!! Taaa dahhh!! :rollseyes:

That's one thing that annoys me. I've had offers from a couple of girls IRL who I wasn't attracted to. My friends were like, "Ahh lad, What's wrong with you? Ye might as well go for it. You you don't want to stay single."

It's like if you've been single for a while then you should just settle for anyone who shows an interest in you, even if you find them very unattractive. And there's always one who will ask if you're gay. :rolleyes:

Ammsy500

Piliger wrote: »

Crap week ... Absolutely wonderful date last weekend ... hand touching and caressing, kissing softly in middle of conversation, warmth, gorgeous .... texts me in mid week to say bad time of her life, too busy ...

Why. Do. People. Do. This???? I never understand how somebody can go on a date and be affectionate with a person they have no interest in a few days later. Even if drink is involved it's no excuse. I have been on dates where I don't think there's much spark or attraction between us but I am still polite and chatty. When leaving I will say how nice it was to meet them and say my goodbyes. No kiss, no oh it would be great to see you again, no call me, text me or whatever.

I remember one date the guy practically lunged at to me to try kiss me! So awkward but I couldn't kiss him back and gave him no 'signs'. I just couldn't lead anybody on.

Piliger

Ammsy500 wrote: »

Why. Do. People. Do. This???? I never understand how somebody can go on a date and be affectionate with a person they have no interest in a few days later. Even if drink is involved it's no excuse. I have been on dates where I don't think there's much spark or attraction between us but I am still polite and chatty. When leaving I will say how nice it was to meet them and say my goodbyes. No kiss, no oh it would be great to see you again, no call me, text me or whatever.

I remember one date the guy practically lunged at to me to try kiss me! So awkward but I couldn't kiss him back and gave him no 'signs'. I just couldn't lead anybody on.

I agree. We all have feelings and baggage and emotions and I treat people the way I would like to be treated. When people treat first dates like sh1t they start a ripple that delivers a splash of it to a load of other people. I refuse to join in.

As I said in a previous post I don't french kiss no matter how well it goes. If it goes badly I give a peck before leaving and say something nice. If it goes swimmingly I see it as the start of a journey, not some kind of juvenile snog lunge opportunity. If it goes that well, there will be plenty of opportunity for wonderful kissing later and it will be better for it. Of course that is only if people want an actual relationship and not just some kind of game.

Tigger99

I've been lurking on here for ages so figured I should post. I'm having very mixed results. Went on a few dates with guys I got chatting to okcupid, but haven't met anyone I wanted to have a third or fourth date with (I always try to give it 2 dates, as we/he could be nervous first time round).

I wouldn't mind a second opinion on my pic/profile if one of the guys here wouldn't mind i could give you my profile name, (one of the regulars would be great). Thanks.

cyrusdvirus

Tigger99 wrote: »

I've been lurking on here for ages so figured I should post. I'm having very mixed results. Went on a few dates with guys I got chatting to okcupid, but haven't met anyone I wanted to have a third or fourth date with (I always try to give it 2 dates, as we/he could be nervous first time round).

I wouldn't mind a second opinion on my pic/profile if one of the guys here wouldn't mind i could give you my profile name, (one of the regulars would be great). Thanks.

Yeah, sure. Send me a pm with the details.

DerekDGoldfish

Back using again, recent girl who seemed perfect didnt work out altough this time there was an understanable reason which helps. Potentially meeting another girl soon though.

I'll also give your profile a review Tiger if you want another opinion.

Ammsy500

Get a message off a very hot guy, good profile nice message so I reply back ask him a few questions like:

How's your weekend going? I see your in college what are you studying? And so on..... Get back...
Going ok bit boring. You? Doing accounting. Where you from?

Like trying to get blood from a stone! He tells me he's not having much luck on it as there's not much talent on it (it's not fecking xfactor). It's like seriously mate your messages are so boring it's no wonder your having no luck. And I wouldn't mind but hes stated he's witty and fun in his profile and not looking for bimbos with no personality....pot calling kettle black me thinks...

Ammsy500

DerekDGoldfish wrote: »

Back using again

Sound like your back using drugs again

DerekDGoldfish

Ammsy500 wrote: »

Sound like your back using drugs again

Its just as time consunming, filled with as many brilliant highs and cripling lows, it is marginaly cheeper though

riveratom

Ammsy500 wrote: »

Get a message off a very hot guy, good profile nice message so I reply back ask him a few questions like:

How's your weekend going? I see your in college what are you studying? And so on..... Get back...
Going ok bit boring. You? Doing accounting. Where you from?

Like trying to get blood from a stone! He tells me he's not having much luck on it as there's not much talent on it (it's not fecking xfactor). It's like seriously mate your messages are so boring it's no wonder your having no luck. And I wouldn't mind but hes stated he's witty and fun in his profile and not looking for bimbos with no personality....pot calling kettle black me thinks...

Had one of those yesterday, she is foreign though so we'll put her very limited replies down to that!

Daveysil15

Ammsy500 wrote: »

Get a message off a very hot guy, good profile nice message so I reply back ask him a few questions like:

How's your weekend going? I see your in college what are you studying? And so on..... Get back...
Going ok bit boring. You? Doing accounting. Where you from?

Ehh is he not basically asking the same sort of questions you are? That just seems like a bit of reciprocated chit chat to me. Why is it always up to the guy to be witty and original?

Tigger99

gatecrash wrote: »

Yeah, sure. Send me a pm with the details.

DerekDGoldfish wrote: »

Back using again, recent girl who seemed perfect didnt work out altough this time there was an understanable reason which helps. Potentially meeting another girl soon though.

I'll also give your profile a review Tiger if you want another opinion.

Thank guys. Gatecrash thanks for the pointers:).

Ammsy500

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Ammsy500 wrote: »

Get a message off a very hot guy, good profile nice message so I reply back ask him a few questions like:

How's your weekend going? I see your in college what are you studying? And so on..... Get back...
Going ok bit boring. You? Doing accounting. Where you from?

Ehh is he not basically asking the same sort of questions you are? That just seems like a bit of reciprocated chit chat to me. Why is it always up to the guy to be witty and original?

Hmm no I think you've picked that up wrong. I never expect the guy to be the one to be witty and original but when somebody has that in their profile than ye I do expect that just as I would expect somebody who says their interests are playing sports and than tells me in their messages they have no interest in any kind of sport or follow any.

And with the questions I meant when somebody answers a question they don't elaborate on it. Normally that's how a conversation keeps going. It's like
So What's your favourite movie of all time and why?
Goodfellas it's gangsta.
What kind of music are you into?
Loads of stuff
I like pubs over nightclubs atleast you can chat, what about you?
Don't mind really.
Have you seen any good movies recently?
Ye Ted.

You get the picture! There is no effort on their part and he was the one who messaged me??

And these are just example questions not what I really ask

Daveysil15

Ammsy500 wrote: »

Hmm no I think you've picked that up wrong. I never expect the guy to be the one to be witty and original but when somebody has that in their profile than ye I do expect that just as I would expect somebody who says their interests are playing sports and than tells me in their messages they have no interest in any kind of sport or follow any.

And with the questions I meant when somebody answers a question they don't elaborate on it. Normally that's how a conversation keeps going. It's like
So What's your favourite movie of all time and why?
Goodfellas it's gangsta.
What kind of music are you into?
Loads of stuff
I like pubs over nightclubs atleast you can chat, what about you?
Don't mind really.
Have you seen any good movies recently?
Ye Ted.

You get the picture! There is no effort on their part and he was the one who messaged me??

And these are just example questions not what I really ask

That seems to be how most conversations go though. At least with me anyway, when I ask a girl those sort of questions I get those sort of answers. I could ask 2 or 3 questions in the one message and might only get 1 answer back with little effort to engage in conversation. It's almost like an interview.

Larianne

If you're asking something like How did your weekend go? I'd also put in a bit about what you did yourself for the weekend..

Something like "Hey, so how did your weekend go? Get up to much? Headed out for a few with friends myself and went to dinner. Weekend went so fast though.". So it's more in a conversational flow with giving the other person snippets so they can ask you more about it. Otherwise, like Davey says, it's like a frickin job interview and you're ticking boxes or whatever.

Tchaikovsky

Just on the kissing on a date and then going off the person or not replying to them for no particular reason; I think that's incredibly rude and just quite disrespectful.

Ammsy500

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That seems to be how most conversations go though. At least with me anyway, when I ask a girl those sort of questions I get those sort of answers. I could ask 2 or 3 questions in the one message and might only get 1 answer back with little effort to engage in conversation. It's almost like an interview.[/Quote]]


I dunno I just find that kind of messaging fizzles out really fast. Most of the guys I've gone on dates with have written really detailed messages back and forth (like myself). I just think it gives you an indication that the person will be quite chatty. Little or no effort in a message would put me off meeting somebody as id have the fear there would be quite alot of awkward silences.

Also I think this shows no real interest in you it's really just passing time till somebody else comes along IMO.

Ammsy500

Larianne wrote: »

If you're asking something like How did your weekend go? I'd also put in a bit about what you did yourself for the weekend..

Something like "Hey, so how did your weekend go? Get up to much? Headed out for a few with friends myself and went to dinner. Weekend went so fast though.". So it's more in a conversational flow with giving the other person snippets so they can ask you more about it. Otherwise, like Davey says, it's like a frickin job interview and you're ticking boxes or whatever.

Ye I do this but just saying how annoying it is when somebody just gives you one word answers that's when it gets like a job interview as you have nothing to go on so you ask more questions. I don't really waste my time with those messages as it just goes no where.

EdenHazard

Guys just on my post a couple of pages back, I have like 15 pictures up ha, ones with different hair, everything! Maybe I'm holding onto that comment more than I should've. Maybe she found it awkward that online she was into me, so just went to downplay it, but then she didn't recognize me at first so!

Larianne

Ammsy500 wrote: »

Ye I do this but just saying how annoying it is when somebody just gives you one word answers that's when it gets like a job interview as you have nothing to go on so you ask more questions. I don't really waste my time with those messages as it just goes no where.

I was just making a general statement of how messages could get a conversation going. I wasn't directing at you in particular.

I wouldn't waste my time on those type of people either. You're giving them enough information to bite and expand their mails. Could be the person isnt' interested in you and is just being polite in replying and hoping you'll get the message. I have been guilty of doing that myself.

Mr_Spaceman

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That's one thing that annoys me. I've had offers from a couple of girls IRL who I wasn't attracted to. My friends were like, "Ahh lad, What's wrong with you? Ye might as well go for it. You you don't want to stay single."

It's like if you've been single for a while then you should just settle for anyone who shows an interest in you, even if you find them very unattractive. And there's always one who will ask if you're gay. :rolleyes:

My theory is that the majority of people worry far too much about what their friends/peer group/society at large might be thinking about them. Additionally, you also find a percentage of people who would rather be in a poor relationship than be single, a state I will never, ever understand.

I've been single for most of my life and, quite frankly, at 43 years of age, I don't give a fcuk what anyone thinks.

While I would love to have a happy, fulfilling relationship, I'd rather be single than shuffle along with the first woman who shows an interest in me.

cyrusdvirus

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

My theory is that the majority of people worry far too much about what their friends/peer group/society at large might be thinking about them. Additionally, you also find a percentage of people who would rather be in a poor relationship than be single, a state I will never, ever understand.

I've been single for most of my life and, quite frankly, at 43 years of age, I don't give a fcuk what anyone thinks.

While I would love to have a happy, fulfilling relationship, I'd rather be single than shuffle along with the first woman who shows an interest in me.

Oh Good God yes!!

Even though it's a great big bullseye on my forehead for some friendly slagging with my friends (we need a weekend away, Gate go get engaged so we can have a stag!!) I absolutely will not do that!!

sharper

Ammsy500 wrote: »

It's like seriously mate your messages are so boring it's no wonder your having no luck. And I wouldn't mind but hes stated he's witty and fun in his profile and not looking for bimbos with no personality....pot calling kettle black me thinks...

I find most people's written skills are very poor. It's not just spelling/grammar/text speak but an appreciation of what it takes to write a paragraph or two that's interesting to read.

Of course I do it wrong too. If someone asks me about my weekend I'm liable to send them a link to some article and talk about how fascinated I was by something or the other.

Meauldsegosha

Are most men on PoF just interested in casual hook ups or ONS? 95% of the messages I get are for that reason. I only joined last week but its very annoying already.

Galvasean

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That's one thing that annoys me. I've had offers from a couple of girls IRL who I wasn't attracted to. My friends were like, "Ahh lad, What's wrong with you? Ye might as well go for it. You you don't want to stay single."

It's like if you've been single for a while then you should just settle for anyone who shows an interest in you, even if you find them very unattractive. And there's always one who will ask if you're gay. :rolleyes:

I hear ya! I'm forever having friends make ham-fisted attempts at match making. The logic is often: girl+roughly your age+single=perfect match!
What they often don't seem to realise is how ridiculously picky I am! :pac:

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Are most men on PoF just interested in casual hook ups or ONS? 95% of the messages I get are for that reason. I only joined last week but its very annoying already.

Unfortunately, it would appear so. On the flip side it would seem that the majority of girls are there 'just for fun' (whatever that means). Genuine people of both sexes generally have to spend a lot of time filtering through the 'riff-raff' in order to find something good.

I've actually not logged in to POF or OKC in the last few days. Was busy all weekend, plus I've come down with a cold. Murphy's Law dictates that this would be the week I'd get a date or two and end up messing it up due to florescent green goo seeping out of my head mid-coffee.
That, and I'm out of town next weekend. Should be interesting to see what I'm like after more than a week off OD (is there any way of saying that which sounds less like I'm a drug addict?).

mood

Galvasean wrote: »

I hear ya! I'm forever having friends make ham-fisted attempts at match making. The logic is often: girl+roughly your age+single=perfect match!.

I've experience that as well and they were totally unsuitable for me for very obvious reasons. One man was 30+ years older. Another was so drunk he couldn't stand. One was a total sexist. One was already in a relationship. I could go on but won't. I can't believe friends would rather see me with one of these rather than be single :mad:

Esoteric_

mood wrote: »

I've experience that as well and they were totally unsuitable for me for very obvious reasons. One man was 30+ years older. Another was so drunk he couldn't stand. One was a total sexist. One was already in a relationship. I could go on but won't. I can't believe friends would rather see me with one of these rather than be single :mad:

Thankfully this doesn't happen to me very often. All but one of my female friends don't have male friends. The one who does knows by now not to set me up with anyone because she sets me up with her type of guy and I have no interest in her type. My male friends thankfully don't care about setting me up, unless I ask them to get me a number from one of their friends.

POF hasn't been working for me all day, I just keep getting error messages. Damnit.

cloud_dancer

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Are most men on PoF just interested in casual hook ups or ONS? 95% of the messages I get are for that reason. I only joined last week but its very annoying already.

Hello, first time poster and long time lurker on the online dating threads

You can set your email preferences to block anybody from emailing you who has messaged another member looking for an intimate encounter. My first day I was getting loads of these type messages even before I added a pic. Now they are rare. There are other settings you can change too so you cut out a lot of people you wouldn’t be interested in. Also set a minimum amount of characters for the first message to cut out the “Hi, how are you?” chancers. It saves wading through lots of BS emails.