The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Larianne

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

yeah it was!

i dunno...im pretty sure its the way i look but i dunno! We got along but he was really like not jumpy but standoff-ish

and when we were leaving it was an awkward little goodbye hug and a see ya around!

so to me it sounds like he didnt enjoy it!!

Sounds like nerves to me. Just see how it pans out.

herisson

Christie Rainbows wrote: »

Maybe he was just nervous?! Whats the harm in sending a txt following it up

Larianne wrote: »

Sounds like nerves to me. Just see how it pans out.

he was shaking slightly while on it! We did have a good laugh but i got the vibe he just wanted to leave and do a runner! Im usually not wrong with my vibes but he could have been nervous but i dunno!! Gah!

you wha?

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

he was shaking slightly while on it! We did have a good laugh but i got the vibe he just wanted to leave and do a runner! Im usually not wrong with my vibes but he could have been nervous but i dunno!! Gah!

Bet it was just nerves!the dude i met up with last was nervous about all that and it took him until the third date(and a humourous text from me)to even kiss me :P give him a chance

herisson

you wha? wrote: »

Bet it was just nerves!the dude i met up with last was nervous about all that and it took him until the third date(and a humourous text from me)to even kiss me :P give him a chance

he scared the absolute shíte out of me when we met up...he just appeared out of nowhere!

I'll see how it goes if he even contacts me, but he does seem like the sort of person that will say it to me if he doesnt want a second date...im just waiting for the text at the moment!

G-Money

You get dates like that. I was chatting to this girl and we got on really well on the phone. We decided to meet up the next day and I don't know, it just wasn't the same vibe at all. At the end she suggested meeting up again but her whole body language screamed "I'm not bothered" and to be honest, I wasn't either. I texted her that night and again she didn't seem super chatty or massively interested so I just left it. Haven't heard from her since! Not bothered actually either, but it's funny how things go.

mood

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

he scared the absolute shíte out of me when we met up...he just appeared out of nowhere!

I'll see how it goes if he even contacts me, but he does seem like the sort of person that will say it to me if he doesnt want a second date...im just waiting for the text at the moment!

Do he actually say 'see ya around' at the end of the date? If he did I would assume he isn't interest and there won't be a text or phone call. Just move on. Plenty more guys out there.

herisson

mood wrote: »

Do he actually say 'see ya around' at the end of the date? If he did I would assume he isn't interest and there won't be a text or phone call. Just move on. Plenty more guys out there.

He said something like that so i assume there wont be another date!

But sure thats life you win some you lose some!

R019912

Really annoying when you come across a hot girl, go on to her profile and the "about me" section is empty. I hear people saying lads have to make the effort to be different in their messages, but when people couldn't be arsed even writing three lines on themselves, what is there to say other than whats up?

mood

R019912 wrote: »

Really annoying when you come across a hot girl, go on to her profile and the "about me" section is empty. I hear people saying lads have to make the effort to be different in their messages, but when people couldn't be arsed even writing three lines on themselves, what is there to say other than whats up?

I once got a email for a guy with a blank profile - no photo, no information etc. He only filled in age and location probably because you had to in order to join the site. He must have though I was really desperate if he thought he would get a reply!

FGR

R019912 wrote: »

Really annoying when you come across a hot girl, go on to her profile and the "about me" section is empty. I hear people saying lads have to make the effort to be different in their messages, but when people couldn't be arsed even writing three lines on themselves, what is there to say other than whats up?

Guaranteed she still gets swamped with messages.

There's a lot of lads on there who want one thing - and a lot of girls aren't afraid of using the site to boost their self esteem.

Nothing wrong with it - but it stops a lot of genuine people from meeting other genuine people.

Panthro

One thing that's really beginning to grind my gears with online dating is "hi, how are you" messages. Seriously, wasn't that a Vodafone slogan a while back?
I don't care if there are attractive or not, if that's the best you can come up with, I won't be responding.
(Rant)

Varied

stupidquestion wrote: »

Hi all I know this may be a stupid question, but do all sites ask you to upload a photo? This is my first time venturing into online dating and I'm not sure if I want to do that.

It doesn't seem to matter if you're a girl as you'll still get loads of messages, just have on in private and send it if they request one.

If you're a bloke though, you're better off having one.

the_syco

stupidquestion wrote: »

Hi all I know this may be a stupid question, but do all sites ask you to upload a photo? This is my first time venturing into online dating and I'm not sure if I want to do that.

Plenty Of Fish (www.pof.com) doesn't require a photo, but you'll get asked for one eventually. Personally, I tick the box to search for profiles with photos only, so you'll get less people checking your profile out.

randox

Lotusate wrote: »

Have only ever gotten responses from people on anotherfriend.com but unless you pay you can't give them any details. Just banned me outright for typing a message with skype details there. So the acct is locked until i pay, which im not gonna do. Either the person im chatting to is working for them or their message filter is hella aggressive as it happened within seconds of sending.

What I see happening is that i'll pay then the person will never return any messages again then ill be pissed off something awful so i'm not gonna do that. I'm wondering if there is any way to get around it is if is indeed a script that's checking the messages and not an actual person.

The filter for standard memebers is strong on AF. I almost think they read them all personally. I have contacted people by giving my name and hinting at facebook. I also placed my email address in the corner of one of my photos is the gallery. And if you're caught they ban you for a week - not forever.

I finally received a response from them regarding a premium upgrade I was charged for that I didn't order. They admitted it was a mistake and said they credit me. Bet it happened to a lot of people who didn't ask for a refund.

Still, I've dated a few good people from the site. Fewer messers and time wasters on AF. Its just so slow with a lot of server errors that suddenly log you out. And the 20 minute delay in reading a new messages can be frustrating.:mad:

I assume not having a picture is a pretty huge handicap because I'm using some proper A material and not even getting copy pastas in return. :pac:

stargazer 68

Deleted User wrote: »

I assume not having a picture is a pretty huge handicap because I'm using some proper A material and not even getting copy pastas in return. :pac:

Afraid so. There are so many people who do have pictures that you are fighting a losing battle unless your profile and messages are really different.

I used to contact men first - as opposed to waiting for them to contact me - but if there was no picture I never did. Now I would reply if they sent me a message but had no picture but then what happens is when they send you one and you don't fancy them its a bit awkward.

Hardonraging

Dovies wrote: »

Afraid so. There are so many people who do have pictures that you are fighting a losing battle unless your profile and messages are really different.

I used to contact men first - as opposed to waiting for them to contact me - but if there was no picture I never did. Now I would reply if they sent me a message but had no picture but then what happens is when they send you one and you don't fancy them its a bit awkward.

I had a picture up, but it wasnt acceptable it seems, nothing rude might i add, just not of my face, well my whole face anyway ..

I've seen girls with some trendy Eye shot images, on there profile pics, and they seen to get away with it ..

Anyway, having a pic, is pretty important, if i send out a msg, and the other person has a pic displayed i always include a picture..

Wink

So my date last night was lovely he's cute, there werent massive fireworks but we talked for ages. Hope there'll be a second date!

Galvasean

Haven't used this online dating in earnest for a few weeks. I log into POF/OKC very briefly now and then but just can't find the energy to trawl through the hundreds of faces (most of them already familiar) looking for a profile that I'd like to message. To me it seems the effort to reward ratio is too daunting these days.

R019912

Galvasean wrote: »

Haven't used this online dating in earnest for a few weeks. I log into POF/OKC very briefly now and then but just can't find the energy to trawl through the hundreds of faces (most of them already familiar) looking for a profile that I'd like to message. To me it seems the effort to reward ratio is too daunting these days.

Agreed, it really doesn't seem worth it. I only started a few weeks ago and it seems way too much effort. I rarely get replies from people im interested in even though I ain't exactly ugly and try tailor messages to specific people. Ah well im in my early twenties so heading out is prob the better option to meet girls.

Herrick

To those here that get annoyed over not getting replies to your messages, let me say one thing. You are far better hearing nothing, rather than getting replies back, talking for 2/3 days then when you bring up swapping FB/numbers you don't hear from them again.

I've been back using OD for about six weeks now and I've met more messers/timewasters in that time than I did the six months I was using it last time.

wobblyknees

So I have to admit, I didn't actually take this online thing seriously in the beginning and never really messaged anyone with any intent. As a result, I didn't get many messages. Recently a certain change in state of mind has led me to be more proactive and positive and lo and behold I find I am talking to a few women and being asked to meet up. Not sure if they are all my exact type of person but definitely attractive so I'm feeling a little more positive about myself! I presume this is allowed without sounding arrogant?? Anyway, short story long, I've been talking to someone in particular who is really attractive and seems very down to earth and normal. For one reason or another, even though I'd be a pretty private person, we ended up talking on Facebook. She didn't dissapear after that so I took this as a good sign. Haha. She actually asked me about meeting up yesterday and I couldn't! Anyway, we have been talking away now for a while and even though we haven't met I'm sure we are going to and I find myself considering putting any other conversation on hold. Anyone else been in a similar situation?

sharper

Galvasean wrote: »

Haven't used this online dating in earnest for a few weeks. I log into POF/OKC very briefly now and then but just can't find the energy to trawl through the hundreds of faces (most of them already familiar) looking for a profile that I'd like to message. To me it seems the effort to reward ratio is too daunting these days.

Yep it's very difficult sometimes. Getting a response is hard, getting a conversation going is hard, getting to the point where a meeting is going to happen is really hard and so on.

Meanwhile playing xbox and reading wikipedia is easy!

Galvasean

Herrick wrote: »

I've been back using OD for about six weeks now and I've met more messers/timewasters in that time than I did the six months I was using it last time.

I think it's to do with the recent surge in popularity of OD. I think an awful lot of people are there 'for the craic' rather than any real sense of wanting to actually get a date. I can't help but feel many are simply there to fuel their own egos and see how many messages they will get.

wobblyknees

sharper wrote: »

Yep it's very difficult sometimes. Getting a response is hard, getting a conversation going is hard, getting to the point where a meeting is going to happen is really hard and so on.

Meanwhile playing xbox and reading wikipedia is easy!

I don't mean to be critical, but surely if this is your frame of mind, you aren't really that interested in meeting someone? I mean, I went through the motions and said I was interested in meeting someone but in truth wasn't. It's only recently that there is a little more confidence in my approach that there is a genuine response.

sharper

Herrick wrote: »

To those here that get annoyed over not getting replies to your messages, let me say one thing. You are far better hearing nothing, rather than getting replies back, talking for 2/3 days then when you bring up swapping FB/numbers you don't hear from them again.

Absolutely. The reality is people want a positive response, not any response.

That said, when nothing seems to be happening people desperately want someone to tell them what they're doing wrong. That leads to very uncomfortable exchanges when they're told "No thanks" and they want to know why.

sharper

wobblyknees wrote: »

I don't mean to be critical, but surely if this is your frame of mind, you aren't really that interested in meeting someone?

My frame of mind is that meeting people is really difficult, not that I don't want to meet people. Occasionally I wonder what the point is and stop trying rather force myself to talk to people when I don't want to.

My goal is to meet someone I think is neat that in turn thinks I'm neat, not just to meet someone.

G-Money

I find it hard to meet girls outside of internet dating. I can count on one hand I reckon the amount of times I've met someone outside of that where there was a chance something could happen. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times where I've met girls outside of internet dating where there is absolutely ZERO chance of anything ever happening. I specialise in that :cool:

I sometimes get frustrated and I wonder how others manage to meet someone and get married. While I'm sure there's lots of couples out there who are married for less than perfect reasons, I'm sure there are some who are genuinely happy to be together.

Is it really so hard to meet someone you like, who is single and who likes you back the same way and there be no baggage or other stuff getting in the way?

Galvasean

G-Money wrote: »

gether.
Is it really so hard to meet someone you like, who is single and who likes you back the same way and there be no baggage or other stuff getting in the way?

Apparently so! Or maybe I'm just an oddball. I have plenty of friends so I don't think I'm socially retarded or anything, but relationships are a weird one for me. Haven't had a relationship that lasted more than a few months (mid 20s now) and in the grand scheme of things even those are quite rare. I do see friends/people in my age bracket who are in long term ones and/or have been in such quite frequently since their early 20s and wonder how they do it and think it would be nice to be in such a situation. A mystery I say! But I'm rambling now...
I'd say I've been a bit more successful in terms of OD as opposed to IRL dating, albeit marginally (neither are hugely successful! :pac:)

Larianne

Galvasean wrote: »

I think it's to do with the recent surge in popularity of OD. I think an awful lot of people are there 'for the craic' rather than any real sense of wanting to actually get a date. I can't help but feel may are simply there to fuel their own egos and see how many messages they will get.

Definitely! I first started using online dating around March last year. The difference in the effort people go to writing their profile now and back then is amazing. I haven't logged on for a month or two now but before I stopped there seemed to be a lot of howareyas (One photo was a guy with a horse in the back garden. No word of a lie!) and guys showing off their cocks/bare chests. :rolleyes: