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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

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    #6182
    ladylost
    Registered Users Posts: 367 ✭✭ladylost


    Mr_Spaceman wrote: »
    I hear what everyone is saying, but the point I'm making is that, personally, I'd rather be ignored. In the OD minefield, honesty isn't always the best policy.

    I'm not interested in hearing about 'some other guy' while being let down gently. It's extra head-wrecking, ego-flattening bollocks I can do without.

    I got a mail from a guy recently. I looked at his profile and was not interested in pursuing it further. However at the end of his profile description he had written if you are not interested please reply letting me know and there will be no hard feelings. Now I have stopped replying to people if I'm not interested as I was getting abuse for it. But because he had stated on his profile that his preference is to hear back either way I messaged him letting him know I had read his profile, seen his preference for a mail either way but I didn't feel we were a match. He replied to thank me for letting him know.
    This is my long winded way of saying maybe you should put a line at the end of your profile if you don't want the no thanks replies


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    #6183
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Well for some of us, our college days are well and truly behind us! I'm 26 and after about 7-8 years in full time 3rd level education, I won't be going back there any time soon! As for family & friends, people are not going out as much as they used to, I personally was never into chatting up girls in bars or clubs anyway and I can't think of why I'd start now, when girls in clubs would probably easily be 10 years younger than me!

    For many (myself included), OD is the last chance saloon.     That's not a derogatory statement, it literally is that. Pubs & clubs not an option for me, the girls are too young and my mates are all settled down and if they have 100 quid to spend at the end of the week or the month, they'll have better things to do with it in this climate than píss it down the jacks of a pub or a club, and I can say the exact same for myself.

    I meant to pick you up on this by the way...

    26? last chance saloon??
    Get a grip on yourself lad!!

    You are no where next to or near the last chance saloon.
    Come back with that attitude in 10 years time and people might listen to you.

    In terms of Anny feeling she is ready to move on after 2 months, who are you to judge? Maybe the relationship she was in only lasted 6 months??

    i was seeing someone for 9 months, broke up in June. I was back OD in august. are you trying to tell me that I wasn't ready???

    seriously, seeing someone your age coming in here and doing the whole woe is me, I'm in the last chance saloon gets up my wick.


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    #6184
    cloud_dancer
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭cloud_dancer


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    i feckin HATE cats.

    We'd never work so! :D


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    #6185
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    cloud_dancer wrote: »
    We'd never work so! :D

    :(


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    #6186
    hollypink
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭hollypink


    gatecrash wrote: »
    I meant to pick you up on this by the way...

    26? last chance saloon??
    Get a grip on yourself lad!!

    Surely that's a typo? No one in their mid twenties would think they are in last chance saloon, would they? If that is in fact the case then I must have left the saloon some time ago!


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    #6187
    cloud_dancer
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭cloud_dancer


    ladylost wrote: »
    I got a mail from a guy recently. I looked at his profile and was not interested in pursuing it further. However at the end of his profile description he had written if you are not interested please reply letting me know and there will be no hard feelings. Now I have stopped replying to people if I'm not interested as I was getting abuse for it. But because he had stated on his profile that his preference is to hear back either way I messaged him letting him know I had read his profile, seen his preference for a mail either way but I didn't feel we were a match. He replied to thank me for letting him know.
    This is my long winded way of saying maybe you should put a line at the end of your profile if you don't want the no thanks replies

    That's good thinking!


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    #6188
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,219 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    hollypink wrote: »
    Surely that's a typo? No one in their mid twenties would think they are in last chance saloon, would they? If that is in fact the case then I must have left the saloon some time ago!

    We're all in the kebab shop after the saloon :D :pac:


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    #6189
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    miamee wrote: »
    hollypink wrote: »
    Surely that's a typo? No one in their mid twenties would think they are in last chance saloon, would they? If that is in fact the case then I must have left the saloon some time ago!

    We're all in the kebab shop after the saloon :D :pac:


    Naah, I'm sleeping it off in the horse trough outside!!


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    #6190
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    hollypink wrote: »
    Surely that's a typo? No one in their mid twenties would think they are in last chance saloon, would they? If that is in fact the case then I must have left the saloon some time ago!


    I bloody hope so!!


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    #6191
    Dermo73
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭Dermo73


    hollypink wrote: »
    Surely that's a typo? No one in their mid twenties would think they are in last chance saloon, would they? If that is in fact the case then I must have left the saloon some time ago!

    Gotta be a typo. 26 and all friends married and given up pubs/clubs? Surely not possible unless you've got a very unusual collection of mates.


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    #6192
    cloud_dancer
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭cloud_dancer


    hollypink wrote: »
    Surely that's a typo? No one in their mid twenties would think they are in last chance saloon, would they? If that is in fact the case then I must have left the saloon some time ago!

    Agreed. I'm in my late 20's and I've changed in so many different ways over the past few years. A relationship that was right for me at 20, 21, 22, 23... wouldn't be right for me now. I suspect with many of those friends who settled down very young, their relationships will not last the distance. I’ve seen this happening with my own friends (myself included).

    Your 20's are a time to date, experience different relationships and figure out what type of a person/relationship is right for you. 26 is nowhere near last chance saloon! :eek: In fact I would go as far as saying your mid 20’s + is probably the best time to get into a relationship as you are maturing and you know what you want from life so it is likely you will settle for a partner that shares a common outlook. It’s more likely to be a life partnership because you know by then what you want (and don’t want!).


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    #6193
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    gatecrash wrote: »
    I meant to pick you up on this by the way...

    26? last chance saloon??
    Get a grip on yourself lad!!

    You are no where next to or near the last chance saloon.
    Come back with that attitude in 10 years time and people might listen to you.

    In terms of Anny feeling she is ready to move on after 2 months, who are you to judge? Maybe the relationship she was in only lasted 6 months??

    i was seeing someone for 9 months, broke up in June. I was back OD in august. are you trying to tell me that I wasn't ready???

    seriously, seeing someone your age coming in here and doing the whole woe is me, I'm in the last chance saloon gets up my wick.

    Sorry it gets up your wick. I couldn't have been clearer that I'm posting from my own perspective only. I've already set out WHY I think it is the last chance saloon for many people (and I included myself in that!), I referred to more infrequent opportunities to go out and mingle, because my own circle of friends now have more to be doing with their hard earned cash than to be p*ssing it all about the place in pubs & clubs in a recession, when they are almost all in their late 30's with families to support! I backed up why I think OD is the last chance saloon, FOR PEOPLE MY AGE. You being 10 years younger than me, it doesn't mean that it's the last chance saloon for you...


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    #6194
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Sorry it gets up your wick. I couldn't have been clearer that I'm posting from my own perspective only. I've already set out WHY I think it is the last chance saloon for many people (and I included myself in that!), I referred to more infrequent opportunities to go out and mingle, because my own circle of friends now have more to be doing with their hard earned cash than to be p*ssing it all about the place in pubs & clubs in a recession. I backed up why I think OD is the last chance saloon, FOR PEOPLE MY AGE. You being 10 years younger than me, it doesn't mean that it's the last chance saloon for you...

    I'm 11 years older than ya lad, just gone 37.

    And at 26 if someone tried telling me that i was in the last chance saloon i would have laughed in their face.

    I'm not meaning to sound all obnoxious here, but if you really are 26 then the most important thing that you can do is get out of this "I have to be settled down, all my friends are" mindset and get out and enjoy yourself....

    God how much i'd love to be 26 again!!!
    You are in the middle of the best few years, where you have a bit of disposable income, have the energy to party/drink/more adult activities all night and work all day.

    Seriously lad, get that old head off those young shoulders and get the feck out and ENJOY YOURSELF!!!


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    #6195
    riveratom
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭riveratom


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Sorry it gets up your wick. I couldn't have been clearer that I'm posting from my own perspective only. I've already set out WHY I think it is the last chance saloon for many people (and I included myself in that!), I referred to more infrequent opportunities to go out and mingle, because my own circle of friends now have more to be doing with their hard earned cash than to be p*ssing it all about the place in pubs & clubs in a recession, when they are almost all in their late 30's with families to support! I backed up why I think OD is the last chance saloon, FOR PEOPLE MY AGE. You being 10 years younger than me, it doesn't mean that it's the last chance saloon for you...

    Dude, you said 26 when you're 36, hence the ensuing bewilderment above....!! ;)


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    #6196
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    gatecrash wrote: »
    I'm 11 years older than ya lad, just gone 37.

    And at 26 if someone tried telling me that i was in the last chance saloon i would have laughed in their face.

    I'm not meaning to sound all obnoxious here, but if you really are 26 then the most important thing that you can do is get out of this "I have to be settled down, all my friends are" mindset and get out and enjoy yourself....

    God how much i'd love to be 26 again!!!
    You are in the middle of the best few years, where you have a bit of disposable income, have the energy to party/drink/more adult activities all night and work all day.

    Seriously lad, get that old head off those young shoulders and get the feck out and ENJOY YOURSELF!!!

    Would you go back and read the thread and when you have your head around the conversation then post again. I'm not 26, I'm 36, I never said I was 26!

    Edit, apologies, it seems I accidentally said I was 26 in a previous post, typo, I'm 36!


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    #6197
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Would you go back and read the thread and when you have your head around the conversation then post again. I'm not 26, I'm 36, I never said I was 26!

    Edit, apologies, it seems I accidentally said I was 26 in a previous post, typo, I'm 36!

    oops!!
    Dialling back on rhetoric!! :D:D :o


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    #6198
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    gatecrash wrote: »
    oops!!
    Dialling back on rhetoric!! :D:D :o

    I put my hands up!


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    #6199
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    I put my hands up!

    hehehee

    Well i retract all previous statements............ unless there is some 26 year old in here who thinks they are in last chance saloon!!! :D


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    #6200
    MizzWolfie
    Registered Users Posts: 22 ✭MizzWolfie


    Second perfect match found .... Seattle, Washington. Maybe we'll be one of those couples that fall in love online and marry the first time they meet :D


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    #6201
    grames_bond
    Registered Users Posts: 9,820 ✭✭✭grames_bond


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    To be honest, I think if you were in a long term relationship and are only single two months, you're wasting a guys time with a date, especially if you are meeting a guy who is looking for a relationship or a partner for a possible relationship, it's hard to see how someone coming out of a long term relationship could be emotionally available after just 2 months.

    sorry can i just weigh in here! My current GF was out of a very long relationship A MONTH before we met. We are now together going on 9 months and I am still deliriously happy (as is she I hope :p )

    It sure as f*ck wasn't a waste of my time. If someone is up for dating and is really ready to move on - the length of time really isn't an issue!

    This is all IMPHO of course!


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    #6202
    Dermo73
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭Dermo73


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Would you go back and read the thread and when you have your head around the conversation then post again. I'm not 26, I'm 36, I never said I was 26!

    Edit, apologies, it seems I accidentally said I was 26 in a previous post, typo, I'm 36!
    HellFireClub wrote: »
    I put my hands up!

    Glad that's sorted. Now you can both settle back in your rocking chairs and remember the old days when you and all your single mates hit town twice every weekend full of expectation and hope.


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    #6203
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    Dermo73 wrote: »
    Glad that's sorted. Now you can both settle back in your rocking chairs and remember the old days when you and all your single mates hit town twice every weekend full of expectation and hope.

    Don't forget the pipes and slippers..... and faithful dogs at our feet!!


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    #6204
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,219 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    MizzWolfie wrote: »
    Second perfect match found .... Seattle, Washington. Maybe we'll be one of those couples that fall in love online and marry the first time they meet :D

    It can happen! Remember listening to a story online of an Irish guy who did just that, met a girl from Florida on OKC, they had Skype dates for ages, then he booked hols to go see her, proposed and she said yes! They are now married and living here in Ireland I think. It's on RTE Doc on One if anyone needs some inspiration :D


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    #6205
    AnnyHallsal
    Registered Users Posts: 4,117 ✭✭✭AnnyHallsal


    grames_bond wrote: »
    sorry can i just weigh in here! My current GF was out of a very long relationship A MONTH before we met. We are now together going on 9 months and I am still deliriously happy (as is she I hope :p )

    It sure as f*ck wasn't a waste of my time. If someone is up for dating and is really ready to move on - the length of time really isn't an issue!

    This is all IMPHO of course!

    This is it exactly. It took me years to get over some relationships, this took weeks. There are no arbitrary rules.


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    #6206
    MizzWolfie
    Registered Users Posts: 22 ✭MizzWolfie


    miamee wrote: »
    It can happen! Remember listening to a story online of an Irish guy who did just that, met a girl from Florida on OKC, they had Skype dates for ages, then he booked hols to go see her, proposed and she said yes! They are now married and living here in Ireland I think. It's on RTE Doc on One if anyone needs some inspiration :D

    Oh. My. God. *continues to message beautiful and fascinating strangers in far-flung lands*


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    #6207
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    grames_bond wrote: »
    sorry can i just weigh in here! My current GF was out of a very long relationship A MONTH before we met. We are now together going on 9 months and I am still deliriously happy (as is she I hope :p )

    It sure as f*ck wasn't a waste of my time. If someone is up for dating and is really ready to move on - the length of time really isn't an issue!

    This is all IMPHO of course!

    You have to put it into a context, me being 36 I just couldn't afford to take a chance time wise on arsing around with someone who might be going through the "WE WERE ON A BREAK" thing in a long term relationship!


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsvsRZhNVp4


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    #6208
    cloud_dancer
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭cloud_dancer


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    I put my hands up!

    You had us all worried!!! :D


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    #6209
    Piliger
    Registered Users Posts: 6,741 ✭✭✭Piliger


    grames_bond wrote: »
    sorry can i just weigh in here! My current GF was out of a very long relationship A MONTH before we met. We are now together going on 9 months and I am still deliriously happy (as is she I hope :p )

    It sure as f*ck wasn't a waste of my time. If someone is up for dating and is really ready to move on - the length of time really isn't an issue!

    This is all IMPHO of course!

    You are 100% right.

    All of this dismissal of people because of how long since their last relationship is just more of the same clothes rack dating style that seems to pervade WAY too many younger people here (I'm 50).

    Some people can be totally and utterly over their relationship after one month, especially if it was dying on the vine for 6 months ! But for others they need 18 months

    I would never ever dismiss someone I thought had potential before meeting them to see which category they belong to.

    In my humble life's experience - dating with a list of requirements is a complete mugs game for people under 35. I make this distinction arbitrarily I admit, because age brings experience of what we 'really' find compatible as opposed to what we 'think' is compatible as a result of too much media crap.

    I advise younger people (yes I know I sound like an old fart ...) to keep a list of what they really want to avoid, by all means, but try to be open minded. Looking for a blond only and not considering brunettes is insane, as an example. And I have heard many guys and gals in their twenties tell me this kind of dating criteria - as is looking for a 'look'. Insane.

    ****
    As an aside, regular readers may recall that two weeks ago I was stood up for a first meeting. I was seriously pi$$ed. I posted a lot of angry stuff, and I texted a lot to her at the time. Fast forward .... I just had a 'feeling' last weekend and decided life is too short to hold a grudge so I contacted her and we met that afternoon and we have dated three more times this week and without getting carried away excessively ... I have a gut feeling this could be a biggie :P It turned out there were reasons behind her behaviour that were not excusable but understandable. I don't think I've touched the ground for days .......


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    #6210
    Mr_Spaceman
    Registered Users Posts: 2,958 ✭✭✭Mr_Spaceman


    smallgarden wrote: »
    i would love to see the guys profiles on this page, see who theyre messaging and what theyre messaging and then ill agree with the poor me attitude people have. i suspect yous are all mailing the same women, possibly the type of women hellfires mentioned above. do yous just go for people youre really attracted to? ill reply to anyone i would give 5-6 out of ten. i think yous might have higher standards than that which is where youre going wrong. i know you have to be attracted to the person but it goes back to the schoolyard where all the boys in your class all fancied the hottest girl in the class, you cant all get her so there are going to be alot of dissapointed guys in that class

    I can only speak for myself but I disagree. The 'poor me' attitude as you suggest has nothing to do with it. It's simply a case of telling it like it is.

    I prefer mailing - for the want of a better word - 'pretty' girls with something to say for themselves and shared interests in their profiles, rather than a 'hot' girl because I know I'd be wasting my time.


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    #6211
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    gatecrash wrote: »
    The "do i want a PFO/You seem like a nice guy, but not my type mail vs read, check profile, decide not for me and not respond" debate gets done to death regularly enough here.

    Funnily enough, Me and Galva were on opposite sides of the debate when i first started posting on this thread Way back on the original OD thread. he was in the better to not get a mail camp and i was in the i prefer a thanks but no thanks mail.

    I changed sides, and am now firmly in the no mail, no problem camp!

    I explained that I used to send a thanks but no thanks message to a guy i wasn't interested in and it did lead to loads of abuse or begging. One guy kept asking why and I tried explaining etc. I noticed he then started to lie on his profile editing out anything I had said weren't for me. It was all very strange.


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