The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Ammsy500

Micky 32 wrote: »

So I send her a text asking why the fake photo of a certain model. She replies " She looks a bit like me" :rolleyes::D

No excuse for that!

mood

Micky 32 wrote: »

So I send her a text asking why the fake photo of a certain model. She replies " She looks a bit like me" :rolleyes::D

What happened then? I would have said something like "well considering it's you I am meant to be meeting I'll need to see a photo". If she is not willing to send you a photo I wouldn't meet.

sharper

Prick! wrote: »

I only have webcam photos. I don't go out and I hate pictures so yeah, I don't have any pictures of myself.

I'm not one for going out either but even a mirror or timed shot would be good in addition to the webcam pictures. Webcams have a very low resolution and pretty poor colour correction etc so even the thumbnail they produce makes people's eyes gloss over it in search results.

Prick!

You ever hear of those goodlooking girls who don't think they're goodlooking? Secretly they know they're attractive.

If she was a model like girl she wouldn't be putting up fake pics even if she didn't think she was goodlooking. She prob has the same hair or makeup as the model.

I'd avoid

sharper

Micky 32 wrote: »

So I send her a text asking why the fake photo of a certain model. She replies " She looks a bit like me" :rolleyes::D

Ha! Oh well.

I look a bit like Patrick Stewart(*) so I should just go with his pictures!

(*) not really.

magneticimpulse

HellFireClub wrote: »

Any relationship I've been in before, (I'm 36 now and in the 18 years that have passed since I was 18, I've been in a 5 year relationship, a 9 year relationship and I've been single around 3 years), with regard to the two long term relationships I was in, from the very first date, we (myself and my respective partner at the time), were hugely attracted to each other and it took off from there and lasted many years.

Maybe I was very lucky, although I don't personally think that I was, but it is against this backdrop, the only backdrop that I can personally relate to by way of my own life experience, that the idea of having to go on a series of dates with a girl, in order to see if, after discovering that we have things in common, some chemistry might just emerge, is such a difficult concept for me to get my head around. The only two times I've been in long term successful relationships was when I met someone who fancied me, and I fancied them and as far as we were both concerned, we were the real deal for each other, from the get-go.

Historically, this is the ONLY way I've ever done the dating thing, so whatever about being able to maybe find the patience to try to run with OD and with second and third dates with someone I might get on ok with, for the purposes of hoping that some chemistry will emerge between us, one thing that I am a COMPLETE fúcking stranger to, given my own past experience, is having to go on something like 20-30 dates, just to find one person that I might have a strong mutual attraction with, and I don't believe I have deteriorated to that much of an extent in my 20's and early 30's in terms of who I am or how I appear to others, that I should somehow have to settle for what I see as actually a fairly mad & bizarre way of carrying on, when I reflect on MY PARTICULAR OD experiences.

It might also be worth factoring in, that as someone who was always in one of two consecutive long term relationships basically from the age of 18 'til the age of 33, I've also never done the "going on the prowl" thing, going the "going on the pull" thing, and all of that. So maybe I'm not conditioned through my own life path, (and we are all a product of our own particular experiences), to think that it is not normal for a lot of people I've been in contact with, to behave as they do on OD.

When I refer to what I believe are peculiar ways of carrying on, I mean (1) basically having to compete with a plethora of other site users who are hiding their profile pics and then sending out images of their cóck to women that you are trying to get a mail to, (2) women who won't reply to a mail, despite them being a few years on the site and having up on their profile header, "ARE THERE NO DECENT MEN LEFT?!?!?", (3) women who will terminate a conversation with you if you are not comfortable adding them on Facebook for the purposes of them "vetting" you, (4) women who you end up going on a date with but who seem to be fairly cynical in relation to whether you actually are who and what you say you are, etc, or else are highly nervous to the point where you can't get a conversation out of them.

It hasn't all been negative, it's killed the boredom at times and I've had a few nights out where it was worth the evening, but I got nowhere near finding what I was looking for out of it, which was dating, but to a very specific end. The most awkward part of the whole thing was the end of every first date, there apparently is a convention that I wasn't aware of, where you should have a smooch at the end of a first date that has lasted the full night and hasn't been cut short by either party, something that I personally find very difficult to initiate, where there is no obvious strong chemistry, from her to me, whatever about how I might perceive her. I got feedback I think about 2 or 3 times, that I "should have" moved in for a kiss at the end of the night, basically that it was expected, that this was the norm, although it was a norm that I wasn't aware of.

Anyways, thankfully, fate appears to have intervened and the rest is history...

So that is the unique context that I had landed out of, that has me just not "getting" OD, especially the really awkward departures at the very end of a first date, I cringe at the thoughts of them and I hope I never live to experience those type of really awkward uncomfortable moments again.

I am fascinated by your experience of dating. I cannot relate to your long term relationships at all and I am 31. I have never had such an experience and hence why I am fascinated.

I have had the very opposite experience to you. I go out on a date with a guy, he is cute...it just doesnt move to 2nd date...so I move onto the next date. I have dated 100s of guys. I know that sounds like alot...but that averages out over 15 years of dating spread out over 52 weeks in a year.

So it is very difficult for me to get excited about a guy now when I go on a date. I look for a companion but that doesn't seem to be enough for men. They want fireworks, stars and sparks. But I think to be overly crazy about someone like that after a first date is kinda obsessive/stalker like? I just do not understand the dating game at all.

Did you know the girls before you went on dates with them? I think it is extremely difficult to hit it off with someone on a first date from OD when you know very little about the person.

I am also fascinated how someone can date for 9 years and not to stay with them longer? This is based that my "serious" relationships last 3, 9 to 12 months.

I am just interested as to where I am going wrong...as surely out of 200+ guys at least one of them should have worked out.

sharper

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I look for a companion but that doesn't seem to be enough for men. They want fireworks, stars and sparks.

Ha, if you asked me to generalise I would have said the same about women. I think the reality is most people are looking for someone to bring a thrill and measure of excitement into their life rather than someone to share their life with.

Whatever it is people are looking for it's very hard to find it in a few messages or on a first date.

magneticimpulse

HellFireClub wrote: »

One thing OD has done for me, which I previously took for granted, is that it has led me to appreciate like I never ever have appreciated before, offline/real life encounters in my life that have a romantic potential. In the case of my current pursuit, we already have chemistry in truckloads, we can go for a walk in a park with coffees in hand, arms around other and it doesn't feel awkward or weird or difficult. I don't have to look at her and keep asking myself do I fancy her, trying to see her under different lights and shades like I was doing on OD's, I can look at her and think she is an incredibly beautiful stunning girl who I could see as my wife someday. I can talk to her about anything. I know what people are going to say, "sure what the fup were ya doing on a dating site to begin with?!?", well you just can't plan these things, can you?

I am curious? If this is going so well, why are you so bothered about your experience with OD? Also you talk about making her your wife? It just seems there is one set of rules to behave via OD...but one can throw all caution to the wind with a "real life" encounter and talk about marriage. Surely similar scenarios apply to all dating situations....as in it is not common to bring up marrying an OD person after a couple of dates, then why is it ok to think that way with real life dates?? If there are many guys with that attitude with OD, it feels like that you are making women who do OD to be not worthy of dating/marriage!!!

I agree that OD has little success for the time and effort put into it. But as a woman, I find it is one of the only ways I can connect with quite/shy guys that otherwise would never have approached me in a bar.

Micky 32

mood wrote: »

What happened then? I would have said something like "well considering it's you I am meant to be meeting I'll need to see a photo". If she is not willing to send you a photo I wouldn't meet.

Haven't met her yet, supposed to be this evening , not sure what to do. I did send back that i'd like to see her photo but no reply as yet writing this. One thing though, she sounded confident on the phone. She might not be too bad looking...

Prick!

Micky 32 wrote: »

Haven't met her yet, supposed to be this evening , not sure what to do. I did send back that i'd like to see her photo but no reply as yet writing this. One thing though, she sounded confident on the phone. She might not be too bad looking...

Unlikely mate.

sharper

Micky 32 wrote: »

Haven't met her yet, supposed to be this evening , not sure what to do. I did send back that i'd like to see her photo but no reply as yet writing this. One thing though, she sounded confident on the phone. She might not be too bad looking...

I'm not sure if I want you to meet her purely to satisfy my own curiosity It's very strange. I could see someone not wanting to be recognised for various reasons but she'd already made it a private picture.

HellFireClub

Micky 32 wrote: »

So I send her a text asking why the fake photo of a certain model. She replies " She looks a bit like me" :rolleyes::D

Jasus Christ be careful there Ted, in a pitch dark cave, I'm often told that I'm the spit of George Clooney! :D:D

In went on a date with a girl a few months back who had similar notions of grandeur about herself, and also carried on with that same kind of stupid shíte, sounds like it could be the same girl...

Micky 32

sharper wrote: »

I'm not sure if I want you to meet her purely to satisfy my own curiosity It's very strange. I could see someone not wanting to be recognised for various reasons but she'd already made it a private picture.

I'm guessing she knows the photo she sent me is obviously more attractive than she is. The reason she may have sent was hoping to get more of a guarantee of being asked out on a date, maybe.

Mental Mickey

Micky 32 wrote: »

So I send her a text asking why the fake photo of a certain model. She replies " She looks a bit like me" :rolleyes::D

Dodge that bullet mate.

hollypink

sharper wrote: »

I'm not sure if I want you to meet her purely to satisfy my own curiosity It's very strange. I could see someone not wanting to be recognised for various reasons but she'd already made it a private picture.

I'm the same! I think it sounds a bit nuts but I'm very curious to know what is going on. What are you going to do Micky 32? Are you going to meet her?

cloud_dancer

sharper wrote: »

mood wrote: »

There also seem to be a lot of photos of men that are just terrible. The photo are so bad what could be a good looking guy look anything but. Photo taken with web cams, your own mobile etc should be avoided.

I have seen some decent webcam pictures, usually someone in a funny pose or a funny hat or something. Out of context it sounds a bit silly but someone not taking themselves too seriously is good I think.

The worst part of webcam pictures is people usually tend to look grumpy or angry because they're concentrating on how to work the webcam software!

There are a lot of narky looking web cam photos on POF!!! Very serious ones altogether!

Best to get a friend or family member to take a pic for you. I see it as a bit off putting when someone only has web cam pics as it gives the impression the person doesn't really socialise. The type of guy I'd go for would have friends and close contact with family. Wouldn't have to be the life and soul but needs to be sociable. A good range of pics in either social, travel,
family or sporty settings appeals most to me. It lets you know the person has other interests too.

Micky 32

hollypink wrote: »

I'm the same! I think it sounds a bit nuts but I'm very curious to know what is going on. What are you going to do Micky 32? Are you going to meet her?

Assuming she will still meet me after being rumbled, i'm going to, just out of curiousity

cloud_dancer

hollypink wrote: »

sharper wrote: »

I'm not sure if I want you to meet her purely to satisfy my own curiosity It's very strange. I could see someone not wanting to be recognised for various reasons but she'd already made it a private picture.

I'm the same! I think it sounds a bit nuts but I'm very curious to know what is going on. What are you going to do Micky 32? Are you going to meet her?

I think I'd have to just for the laugh!

Mental Mickey

Micky32


What model did she say she looked like??

cloud_dancer

Micky 32 wrote: »

hollypink wrote: »

I'm the same! I think it sounds a bit nuts but I'm very curious to know what is going on. What are you going to do Micky 32? Are you going to meet her?

Assuming she will still meet me after being rumbled, i'm going to, just out of curiousity

What did she expect though, sure you wouldn't recognise her when you met up anyway if she gave someone esles pic.

Mental Mickey

cloud_dancer wrote: »

What did she expect though, sure you wouldn't recognise her when you met up anyway if she gave someone esles pic.

Sounds like she's a major wind-up merchant!?

HellFireClub

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I am curious? If this is going so well, why are you so bothered about your experience with OD? Also you talk about making her your wife? It just seems there is one set of rules to behave via OD...but one can throw all caution to the wind with a "real life" encounter and talk about marriage. Surely similar scenarios apply to all dating situations....as in it is not common to bring up marrying an OD person after a couple of dates, then why is it ok to think that way with real life dates?? If there are many guys with that attitude with OD, it feels like that you are making women who do OD to be not worthy of dating/marriage!!!

I agree that OD has little success for the time and effort put into it. But as a woman, I find it is one of the only ways I can connect with quite/shy guys that otherwise would never have approached me in a bar.

I'm not bothered about it at all, but the kind of personality I have, if something doesn't work for me, I really have to drill down into it and try to explore exactly why it didn't work, and often, what I could do to make it work, and I find healthy, robust, and I won't dispute, sometimes controversial discussion, a very useful & practical tool for doing that! If you look at my posts on other forums on the site, pertaining to other completely different subjects that affect me, you'll see the same pattern.

On the marriage thing, I never once ruled anything in or out on an OD, it's not in my nature to try to segregate out women I met through OD and try to put them into the "not suitable for marriage" bin! As someone who was looking for a committed relationship, if I had that attitude towards women I was meeting through OD, sure I just wouldn't have bothered going on any dates at all, as it would have been completely self defeating. There was one girl I was chatting to before I deleted my profile a few days ago, who I did get a reply out of and she was exactly my type, we'd been yapping away regularly, I know that if we had met, we would have ended up an item, (for how long, who knows), but sure you live & die by your decisions, and one thing I've learned over the last few years is that there is only one thing worse than a bad decision, and that's no decision...

Another thing that was a cause of me not having more luck with OD, and people will laugh their arses off at this, but as a (very hard pressed these days) small business owner, I'm probably the last man on earth who should be going on dates with, for example teachers, or others who fall under the remit of the Croke Park Agreement, this will sound absolutely insanely stupid to folks on thread, but I personally found some of the profile commentary a bit distasteful at times from girls who were teachers and were bragging about planning their tour of India next summer, as a small business person, that is actually hard to stomach when you start work at 8AM and are still in work at 11PM at night just to keep the doors of your business open. And knowing my urge to say it as it is, I don't think it would be long at all before these kind of ideological differences would start to emerge on a date or God forbid if we got on, in a relationship! So while I said I rule nothing in or out if I go on an actual date, at the same time, certain things I'd have to sidestep and consider unsuitable for a date for me, and we all do it to some extent when we decide whether we want to go on a date or not, before anyone starts having a go at me for adopting that position in relation to a girls chosen career path.

Micky 32

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Micky32


What model did she say she looked like??

Here is the photo she sent me :rolleyes:, anyone know her? ;)

MODSNIP. do not post pics or profile details here

Mental Mickey

Don't understand why she didn't send you a photo of herself???

cloud_dancer

Mental Mickey wrote: »

cloud_dancer wrote: »

What did she expect though, sure you wouldn't recognise her when you met up anyway if she gave someone esles pic.

Sounds like she's a major wind-up merchant!?

I've heard of people using fake accounts to chat to people when they've no intention of ever meeting up. I worked with young girls who used to use them to wind up older men. They'd get a pic of a stunning girl from facebook and message these guys, arrange a date and then watch and laugh.

This doesn't really sound like what you are dealing with though. Sounds like she was all on for a date until you mentioned the pic. Even ringing you is totally further than people with fake accounts would usually go.

Micky 32

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Eh................................................no .

Don't understand why she didn't send you a photo of herself???

In general, i don't get women anywhere close to that cute writing me on POF so that's why i smelled a rat

mood

Micky 32 you never explained how you 'google' a photo. I would be interested to know how it's done.

Esoteric_

Micky, do you really think she'll turn up?

I get that some women really do look like models, and some people have very little confidence even if they are stunning. BUT, if you're claiming to look like a certain model, self confidence is not a problem if you think you're hot enough to compare yourself to someone so stunning!

Tbh, the only people I have ever seen who use fake pictures are morbidly obese, and I don't mean that in any bad way, but usually misrepresentation is a very bad sign!

Micky 32

I don't think she was winding me up, i think she thought she might get away with that photo, especially if she thinks that's who she looks like..

She was the one who phoned me ( number wasn't hidden), and told me the truth about everything else, name , business she is in etc. I googled her number and her info matched.

cloud_dancer

Micky 32 wrote: »

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Micky32


What model did she say she looked like??

Here is the photo she sent me :rolleyes:, anyone know her? :

The pic is quite professional looking. Can see why you googled it!