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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

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    #6542
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    tatumkelly wrote: »
    Perhaps... not sure why he'd bother though, given that he seemed pretty interested in me right up to him sharing his penchant for escorts...

    Ask him does he like Sierra's. That'll shut him up.


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    #6543
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    How long does it usually take people to reply when you send messages on POF????

    Do people usually respond when ye open the chat window? I sent someone a message(profile said they were online), but I waited for about 5 minutes, and got nothing.


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    #6544
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    How long does it usually take people to reply when you send messages on POF????

    Do people usually respond when ye open the chat window? I sent someone a message(profile said they were online), but I waited for about 5 minutes, and got nothing.

    Did you send her a normal message, or a chat message? VERY few women would respond to a chat message without some exchange of messages first.


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    #6545
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    Did you send her a normal message, or a chat message? VERY few women would respond to a chat message without some exchange of messages first.

    I sent one of each...............


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    #6546
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    I sent one of each...............

    Wait to see if she replies to the non-chat message first. If she doesn't reply, don't try the chat function. Most people don't use it unless you've been exchanging a few messages already.


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    #6547
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    Wait to see if she replies to the non-chat message first. If she doesn't reply, don't try the chat function. Most people don't use it unless you've been exchanging a few messages already.

    Ok.............when her profile pic came up(i was using the Meet Me function), I was like :eek::o


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    #6548
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    I wouldn't engage in chat messages with anyone for a first message, I actually have mine turned off. Why did you send two messages?? Id find that but much if I got . One message is enough. If people want to reply they usually do fairly shortly after they get the message, I know I do anyway.


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    #6549
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    andreac wrote: »
    I wouldn't engage in chat messages with anyone for a first message, I actually have mine turned off. Why did you send two messages?? Id find that but much if I got . One message is enough. If people want to reply they usually do fairly shortly after they get the message, I know I do anyway.

    I logged out of the chat when it was clear she wasn't going to reply. I'll wait and see if she replies to my other message.


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    #6550
    sharper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,216 ✭✭✭sharper


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    How long does it usually take people to reply when you send messages on POF????

    Best thing is fire and forget. Write a nice short message that shows you read her profile, demonstrates your personality in some way and gives her some avenue of easy response (usually a question).

    Then forget you ever sent it.

    At some point maybe a nice surprising response to a message you wrote will appear in your inbox.


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    #6551
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    sharper wrote: »
    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    How long does it usually take people to reply when you send messages on POF????

    Best thing is fire and forget. Write a nice short message that shows you read her profile, demonstrates your personality in some way and gives her some avenue of easy response (usually a question).

    Then forget you ever sent it.

    At some point maybe a nice surprising response to a message you wrote will appear in your inbox.



    That's probably my biggest fault? I'd be over-thinking about it! Wondering has she read it......? I'd be waiting for an instantaneous response!


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    #6552
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,219 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    Just something to note Mental Mickey, if someoneis logged in via the POF app they don't see chat messages. Not sure if POF still allows you to send them but they could be online but not seeing those, just regular mails.


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    #6553
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    I'm absolutely DYING to know how Micky 32's date went! Mickyyyyy, where are you?


























    .......What has my life come to?!


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    #6554
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    Her profile seemed to be showing that she was available for chat.....?


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    #6555
    Prick!
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 936 ✭✭✭Prick!


    Yeah, where's micky 32, I'm worried about him. ;)


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    #6556
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    Her profile seemed to be showing that she was available for chat.....?

    Available for chat doesn't mean 'wants to chat' though. My profile (when it was activated) said I was available to chat, but I'd only chat with the few people I'd already exchanged a day or two of messages with.


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    #6557
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    Her profile seemed to be showing that she was available for chat.....?

    Available for chat doesn't mean 'wants to chat' though. My profile (when it was activated) said I was available to chat, but I'd only chat with the few people I'd already exchanged a day or two of messages with.
    How am I supposed to know that?? I'm not a mind reader.....?


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    #6558
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    How am I supposed to know that?? I'm not a mind reader.....?

    The 'available to chat' thing just means that the person is online and has their chat function enabled. It's not them saying that they want to chat. :pac:


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    #6559
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    How am I supposed to know that?? I'm not a mind reader.....?

    The 'available to chat' thing just means that the person is online and has their chat function enabled. It's not them saying that they want to chat. :pac:


    Thought I would've got a polite no thanks? Anyhoo I'll wait no see if she replies to that message.


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    #6560
    Ammsy500
    Registered Users Posts: 218 ✭✭Ammsy500


    miamee wrote: »
    Just something to note Mental Mickey, if someoneis logged in via the POF app they don't see chat messages. Not sure if POF still allows you to send them but they could be online but not seeing those, just regular mails.

    This definitely happens, I only really use my Pof app but seem to have old instant chat messages waiting when I log on with a computer. Looks like I'm ignoring people when i actually have no idea their trying to contact me! Pof really need to sort that out along with a few other things...


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    #6561
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    How am I supposed to know that?? I'm not a mind reader.....?

    The 'available to chat' thing just means that the person is online and has their chat function enabled. It's not them saying that they want to chat. :pac:


    Thought I would've got a polite no thanks? Anyhoo I'll wait no see if she replies to that message.


    People invariably don't say "thanks but no thanks" when not replying to a regular message so why would they do that for in instant message chat.

    Seriously man,you need to stop taking it so personally,you are asking the same questions now that you were a few months ago.


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    #6562
    A Primal Nut
    Registered Users Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭A Primal Nut


    Mr_Spaceman wrote: »
    Okay, fair enough - and I wouldn't criticize you at all for that.

    However, I still feel a very poor reply to message ratio would indicate a certain shallowness from a large percentage of women on dating sites.

    I notice men are more likely to log on and send messages to 10 women, and hope 1 will reply, while women are more likely to find one guy they like, send a message and hope for a reply. So its much more difficult for girls to reply to all their messages.

    I got annoyed by it when I first started online dating but after a while I accepted. Its much better all around not to reply than to send a message "I'm not interested." For a lot of people receiving a message like that makes them angry and opens up the possibility of abuse for the girl. Much easier to say nothing. People think it would be better if the girl replied but it really wouldn't.

    What did annoy me when I was on online dating was suddenly getting no reply after 2-3 dates. Happened with girls I met in bars, not just OD.


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    #6563
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    Necronos wrote: »
    People invariably don't say "thanks but no thanks" when not replying to a regular message so why would they do that for in instant message chat.

    Seriously man,you need to stop taking it so personally,you are asking the same questions now that you were a few months ago.

    Ok....sorry. I've never done this before, so I don't know how it goes.


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    #6564
    wobblyknees
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭wobblyknees


    Tchaikovsky wrote: »
    Well last night went well; she was really cute and sweet and funny. Right down my alley :) No booze to make me feel all depressed and self-critical today either, haha.

    Here's to that elusive date 2...

    Serious question here. Do you not see it as a good thing that you were able to go out/meet up with someone you like, and have a good time, without alcohol?


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    #6565
    cloud_dancer
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭cloud_dancer


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    Her profile seemed to be showing that she was available for chat.....?

    That just means she hasn't switched her chat off. It doesn't mean she's looking for chat from random strangers. She could be chatting to someone else that she knows. Personally I would never engage with anyone who sent me a message through instant chat off the bat.

    I know you don’t have loads of experience dating so here’s some friendly advice to bear in mind; it's usually the top off, chest bared type “hi sxy” or the creeper type guys who instigate instant chat with strangers. I'm sure this isn't the way you want to come off so just stick to the normal messages future and just send one message :) As other guys here have mentioned, you could get one response for every 30 messanges sent so not everyone will reply to you.


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    #6566
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    I'm not like that at all:eek:. Jaysus no.


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    #6567
    cloud_dancer
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭cloud_dancer


    Mental Mickey wrote: »
    I'm not like that at all:eek:. Jaysus no.

    I know that. That's why I wouldn't want you coming across in that way :)


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    #6568
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,643 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    cloud_dancer wrote: »
    I know that. That's why I wouldn't want you coming across in that way :)

    Cheers. :)


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    #6569
    wobblyknees
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭wobblyknees


    I had a case of meh syndrome recently with regards 'dating'. I am pretty sure I could have been in a relationship with someone right now if I chose to pursue things but I didn't, which in fairness to the other person(s) was the right decision. I switched off the profile and just got busy again.

    The gist of it is that similarly to someone else on here recently, I actually had a dose of feeling as though there was still something there for my ex. It doesn't help that I have to deal with her on a regular basis, but anyway.

    So I decided to try and shake myself off a little a few days ago and yesterday, I got a message from a beautiful girl from South America. I responded, she responded. It turns out she is here, in Dublin, for only a few months. She wants to meet. We've arranged to meet. Do I have anything to lose in meeting up here?


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    #6570
    Tchaikovsky
    Registered Users Posts: 2,185 ✭✭✭Tchaikovsky


    wobblyknees wrote: »
    I had a case of meh syndrome recently with regards 'dating'. I am pretty sure I could have been in a relationship with someone right now if I chose to pursue things but I didn't, which in fairness to the other person(s) was the right decision. I switched off the profile and just got busy again.

    The gist of it is that similarly to someone else on here recently, I actually had a dose of feeling as though there was still something there for my ex. It doesn't help that I have to deal with her on a regular basis, but anyway.

    So I decided to try and shake myself off a little a few days ago and yesterday, I got a message from a beautiful girl from South America. I responded, she responded. It turns out she is here, in Dublin, for only a few months. She wants to meet. We've arranged to meet. Do I have anything to lose in meeting up here?
    Of course not, go for it. The sites are full of Brazilian women now, it's wonderful :D


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    #6571
    cloud_dancer
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭cloud_dancer


    wobblyknees wrote: »
    I had a case of meh syndrome recently with regards 'dating'. I am pretty sure I could have been in a relationship with someone right now if I chose to pursue things but I didn't, which in fairness to the other person(s) was the right decision. I switched off the profile and just got busy again.

    The gist of it is that similarly to someone else on here recently, I actually had a dose of feeling as though there was still something there for my ex. It doesn't help that I have to deal with her on a regular basis, but anyway.

    So I decided to try and shake myself off a little a few days ago and yesterday, I got a message from a beautiful girl from South America. I responded, she responded. It turns out she is here, in Dublin, for only a few months. She wants to meet. We've arranged to meet. Do I have anything to lose in meeting up here?

    Maybe that's just the thing you need. She won't be looking for anything serious so even if you feel there's still something there with your ex, no one will get hurt. Might even help you get over your ex for good.


This discussion has been closed.
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