The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

cyrusdvirus

Hehehehe

Well that's a fat lot of use to Miss Randomer!! 2 exactly opposite viewpoints! :-)

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I've no idea. She never replied to me. She probably thought I was a randy Irish man trying to get into her knickers. :pac: And yet she's on a dating site where most of the men are Irish. :rolleyes:

But if she never used a free dating site in her home country she can't compare!

cloud_dancer

missrandomer wrote: »

I now have a problem though

With the dates i had lined up....
what do i do??? tell them ive met someone
Meet them and possibly ruin what i have with mr perfect
Or avoid the date time question until it fades out (not really liking this one)
But by doing the above, i could potentially cut off my nose despite my face as the saying goes, what if mr perfect turns out to be not so perfect

There is one guy in particular who i like and has been adorable and want to deal with it in the right way as maby we could be friends if anything, but thats very selfish i know!

I was in this situation last week. Well still kind of am. Had no actual times set for the dates so just keeping contact to the minimum while I see how I get on with the guy I have gone out with. Keeping my options open but hopefully not messing anyone around either because I had nothing concrete arranged.

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

But if she never used a free dating site in her home country she can't compare!

I think she was just comparing the men, not the site.

jaffacakesyum

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I've just come across an interesting profile on POF. A foreign girl. She says she's only on it a few hours and her inbox is jammed. She said she found her ex boyfriend on it who was cheating on her. She also found her friends husband on it. She then goes on to say how Irish men are such horny dogs, and that she has never encountered this sort of behaviour in her home country. Wow!

Lol!

Isnt it terrible when people generalise a whole nationality/gender? Based on some bad experiences, and she probably thinks all Irish men are crap compared to foreign ones. What a terrible attitude :P

Im thinking of joining an online dating site again but for LGBT theres such a low sample size At least you lot seem to get a hundred crazy weird men/women messaging

riveratom

gatecrash wrote: »

Hehehehe

Well that's a fat lot of use to Miss Randomer!! 2 exactly opposite viewpoints! :-)

I'm a big believer in keeping your options open in all areas of life

Dermo73

missrandomer wrote: »

I now have a problem though

With the dates i had lined up....
what do i do??? tell them ive met someone
Meet them and possibly ruin what i have with mr perfect
Or avoid the date time question until it fades out (not really liking this one)
But by doing the above, i could potentially cut off my nose despite my face as the saying goes, what if mr perfect turns out to be not so perfect

There is one guy in particular who i like and has been adorable and want to deal with it in the right way as maby we could be friends if anything, but thats very selfish i know!

It's a great problem to have. Good to hear another positive story. I reckon you're better off to do nothing with the other guys. Don't message them and don't bother logging on for the time being so they don;t think you're ignoring them. See how it goes with the current guy. If it works out then there's no need to go back to OD at all. If it doesn't you can message other guy then. In my experience there's little point in trying to be friends with people via OD. That's generally not what guys want

cyrusdvirus

riveratom wrote: »

I'm a big believer in keeping your options open in all areas of life

Hehe

I just know that in that position, I'd prefer to be told.

I HAVE been that guy before. And while I was disappointed, it was better to hear an honest opinion.

Daveysil15

There have been a few occasions where I message a girl and get no reply. Then a couple of weeks later I send her the exact same message and she replies. Maybe they just get so many messages that they don't have time to reply to me the first time, or perhaps the dust settles after a while and they don't get as many messages as they did when they first joined the site. It happened today with a girl I messaged a while ago.

riveratom

gatecrash wrote: »

Hehe

I just know that in that position, I'd prefer to be told.

I HAVE been that guy before. And while I was disappointed, it was better to hear an honest opinion.

Ah yeah know what ya mean, but it sounds like while missrandomer is v excited about this one guy, she doesn't sound like she wants to rule out the others at the same time. Plus very early days. Hence the recommendation

missrandomer

riveratom wrote: »

Ah yeah know what ya mean, but it sounds like while missrandomer is v excited about this one guy, she doesn't sound like she wants to rule out the others at the same time. Plus very early days. Hence the recommendation

Yep this is very much it, ive met up with this guy every night for last week or two but i dont want to put all my eggs in one basket, as we all know how these things can go!

But at the same time just because i want to see how things go with this one guy, does not mean the others arent lovely and wouldn't want to make someone feel like they weren't good enough! as this isn't the case.

Galvasean

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Delighted for all of you men and ladies who have been having so much success lately!

Almost enough to convince me to re-make my profile, but not quite! :pac:

You do realise we're making it all up to lure you back in? :pac:

missrandomer wrote: »

Yep this is very much it, ive met up with this guy every night for last week or two but i dont want to put all my eggs in one basket, as we all know how these things can go!

I was gonna go with the 'meet up with the other lads but keep it breezey' approach as I thought you were only one one or two dates with the aforementioned guy. But, since you've been seeing a lot of each other (double digits by the look of it?) I'd be inclined to recommend not going on dates with the other guys, however casual. I'd imagine the guy might be quite put off if he knew you were dating others with things flying along so well for the both of you.
It might be worth telling the other lads though. If they are in any way decent they'll understand your position. (Just don't find yourself logging back into POF constantly after telling them such, because THAT really annoys us!)

sffc

Every night for the last week or two? In American parlance you are going steady! Well done and all that but going on other dates? Do you really think its fair on anyone?..... including yourself?

riveratom

missrandomer wrote: »

Yep this is very much it, ive met up with this guy every night for last week or two but i dont want to put all my eggs in one basket, as we all know how these things can go!

But at the same time just because i want to see how things go with this one guy, does not mean the others arent lovely and wouldn't want to make someone feel like they weren't good enough! as this isn't the case.

Ah that changes everything then!! As G says above, I also thought you had only been on the one or two dates!

Don't worry about offending the others, honesty is always the best option in these cases. Let the other guys know what's happening and allow them to move on...

cloud_dancer

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I think she was just comparing the men, not the site.

Foreign guys can be a bit strange when it comes to dating, in my experience. They aren't sleezy but can have a very different concept of what is acceptable in dating. I've had a few guys think that just because I was nice to them it meant they were my boyfriend. I'm fairly friendly with everyone - men and women but foreign guys tend to see it as something more.

One guy who worked in a restaurant that myself and my family had been chatting to on and off through the night while he served us got my number off the booking and called me 5 times before I had even woke up the next day. He thought we'd make "good relation"! I set him straight, said sorry if I gave the wrong impression but not interested. Throughout the day got 23 calls and numerous texts. He started to get quite abusive. This went on for a while and needles to say I was creeped out. I actually had to get the guards involved for it to stop. Something similar happened with a guy I worked with on a college project. I had a bf at the time and he knew about this but got it into his head I was his gf. Told me he wanted to marry me, that I was the love of his life. He told everyone in college I was his gf and again when I set him straight he lashed out. Another guy I worked with wouldn't leave me alone, was always hanging around my desk. I was out sick one day and had 19 missed calls! He was married to an irish girl too!

I hadn't been on a date/kissed any of these guys. You get the message. If I see a foreign guy on OD I avoid. I'm not tarring them all with the same brush, just my experience has not been good and I'd be afraid if we did actually go out I'd have an awful job getting rid of them if things didn't work out. Even though these guys were all from different counties and cultures they had a similar outlook which differs to irish dating culture. I prefer to keep things cool at the start and see how things go first.

cloud_dancer

Daveysil15 wrote: »

There have been a few occasions where I message a girl and get no reply. Then a couple of weeks later I send her the exact same message and she replies. Maybe they just get so many messages that they don't have time to reply to me the first time, or perhaps the dust settles after a while and they don't get as many messages as they did when they first joined the site. It happened today with a girl I messaged a while ago.

Messages can be missed and it's nothing personal. Or the girl could be a one man at a time type so any messages she gets are not responded to and then could be forgotten about. Sometimes it's easier just to work with new mail rather than go back all of the old stuff.

Sending one more message a couple of weeks later is fine hope it leads to another happy story.

HellFireClub

riveratom wrote: »

I'm a big believer in keeping your options open in all areas of life

Some folk would call that as having commitment issues!

KTRIC

Actually have 2 date offers for the same day this week from different women

When it rains it pours !!!

Mental Mickey

HellFireClub wrote: »

Some folk would call that as having commitment issues!

TBH, HFC(see what I did there?), if yer only dating, I wouldn't think commitment would come into it, unless it gets serious??

cloud_dancer

KTRIC wrote: »

Actually have 2 date offers for the same day this week from different women

When it rains it pours !!!

What are you going to do? Is this another 2 women in addition to the one you saw at the weekend?

KTRIC

cloud_dancer wrote: »

What are you going to do? Is this another 2 women in addition to the one you saw at the weekend?

An additional one, turned the second one down for the moment. First come, first served. There's only so much KTRIC to go around :cool:

cloud_dancer

KTRIC wrote: »

An additional one, turned the second one down for the moment. First come, first served. There's only so much KTRIC to go around :cool:

Ha well hopefully that choice will stand to you when is the next date?

riveratom

HellFireClub wrote: »

Some folk would call that as having commitment issues!

Committing to someone I haven't even met yet?

HellFireClub

riveratom wrote: »

Committing to someone I haven't even met yet?

Didn't you say a few days ago that you were into casual flings on pof if the opportunity presented itself?

riveratom

HellFireClub wrote: »

Didn't you say a few days ago that you were into casual flings on pof if the opportunity presented itself?

Nope. Never said I was into casual flings.

Galvasean

Jebus, it's raining dates!
What are you all taking that's made the difference? (Can I have some?)

Galvasean

First profile I visit:
"Yes, you are paying, we are not going dutch"

*slams door on way out*

*wanders back in, clicks on another profile*
It's just an advert for a website...

Am I doing this wrong?

cloud_dancer

Galvasean wrote: »

First profile I visit:
"Yes, you are paying, we are not going dutch"

*slams door on way out*

Ha brilliant! Think I'll change that to my page header. I'll have them quing out the door

Galvasean

cloud_dancer wrote: »

If I see a foreign guy on OD I avoid. I'm not tarring them all with the same brush

At the risk of tarring, is it just me or by n' large do foreign people's profiles tend to have better standards of English in them?

cloud_dancer

Galvasean wrote: »

At the risk of tarring, is it just me or by n' large do foreign people's profiles tend to have better standards of English in them?

not the ones I've seen. maybe the women are more articulate than the men the few I've seen are very short and they don't have good english.