The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

cloud_dancer

gatecrash wrote: »

depends i suppose.

If you want to see them again, a couple of texts a day.
If you don't want to see them again, then i wouldn't have any contact.

Yeah assuming you like them and want too see them again. I like a few texts a day until you are more serious. Some people like a lot of contact though, like 20+ texts per day. Say you really like someone but they are a bit overeager with the tests, how do you politely let them know you're not into that.

cyrusdvirus

cloud_dancer wrote: »

Yeah assuming you like them and want too see them again. I like a few texts a day until you are more serious. Some people like a lot of contact though, like 20+ texts per day. Say you really like someone but they are a bit overeager with the tests, how do you politely let them know you're not into that.

20+ is WAAAY too much!!

feck it, i'd doubt i had 20+ text messages a day with the last girl i was in a relationship with!!

Just tell them you think they are going a bit fast, you do like them, but you've only just met them and that you feel they are getting a bit ahead of themselves.

That way you are not saying feck off, but you are saying dial back the intensity there dude!!

gatecrash

gatecrash wrote: »

depends i suppose.

If you want to see them again, a couple of texts a day.
If you don't want to see them again, then i wouldn't have any contact.

Serious? I used to think two texts a week sufficed! Ooops.

cyrusdvirus

Deleted User wrote: »

Serious? I used to think two texts a week sufficed! Ooops.

hehe
it's different strokes for different folks.

Some folks prefer virtually no contact apart from a when will we see each other again, others prefer a couple of texts, and others have full blown conversations.

Me, i hate the full blown text chats, they annoy me.

cloud_dancer

gatecrash wrote: »

20+ is WAAAY too much!!

feck it, i'd doubt i had 20+ text messages a day with the last girl i was in a relationship with!!

Just tell them you think they are going a bit fast, you do like them, but you've only just met them and that you feel they are getting a bit ahead of themselves.

That way you are not saying feck off, but you are saying dial back the intensity there dude!!

Thanks I'll keep that in mind:)

I'm not in that situation at the moment. The guy I've been chatting to is on the same wavelenght as me with the texts but reading the girl above, budgese post about meeting the guy who was a born again and they exchanged 100s of texts within days. I was wondering what people generally think the norm for texting someone you just met. I have been in situations before where the texting was way too much for me and supose I just wanted to find out if I'm in the minority for wanting to keep contact low initially until you see how things go.

miamee

cloud_dancer wrote: »

Yeah assuming you like them and want too see them again. I like a few texts a day until you are more serious. Some people like a lot of contact though, like 20+ texts per day. Say you really like someone but they are a bit overeager with the tests, how do you politely let them know you're not into that.

Some people will replace a full blown phone chat with text chats - that's when you get the 20+ texts situation. If you're not much of a texter then just say you'd rather talk on the phone or when you see them, it's not for everyone. Though I have to say, I do like it

ETA: if you have just met, then the long text conversations are probably less appropriate. So much can be lost in translation!

cloud_dancer

gatecrash wrote: »

hehe
it's different strokes for different folks.

Some folks prefer virtually no contact apart from a when will we see each other again, others prefer a couple of texts, and others have full blown conversations.

Me, i hate the full blown text chats, they annoy me.

I don't mind a few long texts a day but this "so what ya up to now?" Type stuff and texting way after you've run out of things to say bugs me. As does texting again to ask something else when you haven't replied. It scares me off tbh!

cloud_dancer

miamee wrote: »

Some people will replace a full blown phone chat with text chats - that's when you get the 20+ texts situation. If you're not much of a texter then just say you'd rather talk on the phone or when you see them, it's not for everyone. Though I have to say, I do like it

ETA: if you have just met, then the long text conversations are probably less appropriate. So much can be lost in translation!

I'm not big on phone chats either until I'm going out with someone a while. I'd rather have something to talk about when we meet up. It's good to hear the different viewpoints

miamee

cloud_dancer wrote: »

I'm not big on phone chats either until I'm going out with someone a while. I'd rather have something to talk about when we meet up. It's good to hear the different viewpoints

I'm not one for phone chats at all either, i think that's why I'm ok with texts, lol

cyrusdvirus

cloud_dancer wrote: »

I don't mind a few long texts a day but this "so what ya up to now?" Type stuff and texting way after you've run out of things to say bugs me. As does texting again to ask something else when you haven't replied. It scares me off tbh!

Beep Beep

Hi

5 mins later

Beep beep

Hi, How are you

5 mins later

Beep beep

Hey, you ok?

5 mins later

Beep beep

Getting worried... you ok? haven't heard from you all morning.

5 mins later

Beep beep

I'm coming over to check you are ok. Don't worry about a key, i have a rock to break the window.

:D:D

miamee

lol @ gatecrash
By the way - you still have the basic Nokia 'beep, beep' text tone on your phone? :eek::D

cyrusdvirus

miamee wrote: »

lol @ gatecrash
By the way - you still have the basic Noakia beep, beep text tone on your phone? :eek::D

I dunno how to type apple!!

starlit

I find those kind of messages just drag on just a friendly polite conversation for the sake of saying something or checking in on them and not really saying much?

What's wrong with the beep beep nokia tone??

I am the same I prefer text to calls but it depends on the person. I don't really like phonecalls unless its urgent or something to get my attention.

miamee

doovdela wrote: »

I find those kind of messages just drag on just a friendly polite conversation for the sake of saying something or checking in on them and not really saying much?

What's wrong with the beep beep nokia tone??

I am the same I prefer text to calls but it depends on the person. I don't really like phonecalls unless its urgent or something to get my attention.

Nothing at all wrong with it, it's just one of the earliest tones I remember for texts because Nokia have been around for so long and as such sounds 'old' to me. I just found it funny that I knew exactly the one he meant just by reading gatecrash's post

cyrusdvirus

miamee wrote: »

Nothing at all wrong with it, it's just one of the earliest tones I remember for texts because Nokia have been around for so long and as such sounds 'old' to me. I just found it funny that I knew exactly the one he meant just by reading gatecrash's post

i'll be honest, i was hearing the nokia Beep Beep every time i pasted it in!!

cloud_dancer

doovdela wrote: »

I find those kind of messages just drag on just a friendly polite conversation for the sake of saying something or checking in on them and not really saying much?

What's wrong with the beep beep nokia tone??

I am the same I prefer text to calls but it depends on the person. I don't really like phonecalls unless its urgent or something to get my attention.

A few years ago I met a guy online. Straight away when he got my phone number he rang me. How awkward! We went on a couple of dates and next thing he's ringing me at 8am to see how I am! He got a dear john text after that : D

I'm with you on only ringing if something is urgent.

Honey-ec

[pedantic]

The Nokia tone was four beeps, not two.

[/pedantic]

riveratom

Honey-ec wrote: »

[pedantic]

The Nokia tone was four beeps, not two.

Beep beep..Beep beep...

[/pedantic]

Haha I was just thinking the same thing reading down the page :-)

cyrusdvirus

Beep Beep

Hi

5 mins later

Beep beep Beep beep

Hi, How are you

5 mins later

Beep beep Beep beep

Hey, you ok?

5 mins later

Beep beep Beep beep

Getting worried... you ok? haven't heard from you all morning.

5 mins later

Beep beep Beep beep

I'm coming over to check you are ok. Don't worry about a key, i have a rock to break the window.



edited for honey....

miamee

Honey-ec wrote: »

[pedantic]

The Nokia tone was four beeps, not two.

[/pedantic]

riveratom wrote: »

Haha I was just thinking the same thing reading down the page :-)

Lol, you are right (I've never owned a Nokia...my excuse and I'm sticking to it)

Very little talk about dates today, isn't Thursday night a prime date night? Who is out this evening?

Mental Mickey

miamee wrote: »

Lol, you are right (I've never owned a Nokia...my excuse and I'm sticking to it)

Very little talk about dates today, isn't Thursday night a prime date night? Who is out this evening?

Night in am afraid.

Have messaged someone the other day via POF, but no reply as of yet? Wonder how long I should wait.....?

Chazz Michael Michaels

Any other free ones apart from POF and OKC?

miamee

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Night in am afraid.

Have messaged someone the other day via POF, but no reply as of yet? Wonder how long I should wait.....?

You shouldn't 'wait' at all...message people you like the look/sound of and then keep looking. Unfortunately with OD getting a reply from someone you like is the exception, not the norm (for everyone, not just men) so you have to keep at it. it can be frustrating but worth it when someone you like does get back to you.

Mental Mickey

miamee wrote: »

You shouldn't 'wait' at all...message people you like the look/sound of and then keep looking. Unfortunately with OD getting a reply from someone you like is the exception, not the norm (for everyone, not just men) so you have to keep at it. it can be frustrating but worth it when someone you like does get back to you.

How often though??? Don't wanna come over as desperate/stalkerish

Honey-ec

I know we've been through this before, but I really don't get the aversion people have to a quick chat on the phone. I'm not a big phone talker, by any means, but I don't see the big deal with someone ringing you. I'm really starting to think this is a generational thing. I have younger colleagues who'd email you from six feet away rather than ask you something to your face.

Mental Mickey

Honey-ec wrote: »

I know we've been through this before, but I really don't get the aversion people have to a quick chat on the phone. I'm not a big phone talker, by any means, but I don't see the big deal with someone ringing you. I'm really starting to think this is a generational thing. I have younger colleagues who'd email you from six feet away rather than ask you something to your face.

Not sure if this was in reply to my previous post, but I haven't had a reply from this person............so I haven't even got as far as a phone call yet!

miamee

Mental Mickey wrote: »

How often though??? Don't wanna come over as desperate/stalkerish

Email as many people as you like (not the same one repeatedly ) but take your time to write a few lines at least showing that you have read each one's profile. The "Hi" or "hi how are you" type messages do not get answered for the most part and are a waste of time no matter how many people they are sent to IMO.

Mental Mickey

miamee wrote: »

Email as many people as you like (not the same one repeatedly ) but take your time to write a few lines at least showing that you have read each one's profile. The "Hi" or "hi how are you" type messages do not get answered for the most part and are a waste of time no matter how many people they are sent to IMO.

Have messaged someone who I found attractive almost instantly. Made a joke reference to something she put in her profile(by way of an ice-breaker).

Also referenced a couple of other things to try get a conversation going. This was done a couple of days ago. Haven't got a reply yet........

Honey-ec

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Not sure if this was in reply to my previous post, but I haven't had a reply from this person............so I haven't even got as far as a phone call yet!

No no, just a general observation in relation to a few posts from people saying they don't like to be rung!

Chazz Michael Michaels

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Have messaged someone who I found attractive almost instantly. Made a joke reference to something she put in her profile(by way of an ice-breaker).

Also referenced a couple of other things to try get a conversation going. This was done a couple of days ago. Haven't got a reply yet........

I get that also. I'm not a bad looking guy and I do very well with women in real life, I just keep meeting idiots so I thought I would try this. In the OD world I may as well be Shrek. It's an odd culture.