The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Meauldsegosha

emmythegreat wrote: »

I quoted you to give you my take on a similar experience. That it is not always silly to walk away.

Similar experience to what exactly? You don't know why there was no third date so you can't use your personal preferences to justify why someone else had no third date.

cyrusdvirus

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Similar experience to what exactly? You don't know why there was no third date so you can't use your personal preferences to justify why someone else had no third date.

I can see where Emmy is coming from. If its not there then it's not there. And there is no point in trying to force a relationship if one o the people involved is unhappy. Cos all that ends up with is 2 unhappy people further on down the line.

Daveysil15

sharper wrote: »

Yes but the difference is across all men there's quite a bit of diversity in terms of preferred body type, hair length and personality.

Across all women there's a lot less variety. As noted in the thread women appear to have a very strong preference for height and you won't find much variety in that preference.

I'm 5'11 so I don't run into this particular issue but I do find it perplexing.

Whether people can "change" their preferences is a tricky issue. If men uniformly preferred women with large breasts and pursued them to the degree women pursue height I think it would be fair to say it would be worth considering whether breasts were really all that important and whether they would really add all that much to their relationship happiness.

smallgarden wrote: »

if im reading it correctly thats just pure generalisation.i think youre saying women just go for a specific type and are more limited in their slection but i think the opposite is true.i think women are generally much more open to variety than men

Tbh I don't think men can afford to be as picky, so for that reason I'd have to say that men would be more open to variety, because if a guy has a particular preference e.g, (big breasts, blonde, tall) etc, then his options are going to be extremely limited, and an average man's options on a dating site are limited as it is.

If men out-number women in OD and women get more messages, then the women can afford to be more picky as they have more to choose from. Therefore you see a lot of these lists of requirements in some profiles of what they want in a partner.

I know you can't help what you're attracted to, but saying that a person needs to be over 5'10 is very specific. That would be like a man saying a woman must be under 10 stone before he will date her. People who have such a specific preference could be missing out on great dates or potential compatible partners for the sake of a couple of inches or pounds.

fat__tony

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Awwww

Does the truth hurt?

I hope your girlfriend dumps you.

People like you are a waste of space.

How Soon Is Now

mood wrote: »

If you are in a relationship you shouldn't be on a dating site. Out of boredom is a lame excuse.

What difference does it make when you say ur not single and don't message people ? I just view profiles once in blue moon infact me girlfriend has sat there next to me looking out of interest as well or just to laugh at some the stuff on it.

Sometimes I just think some people on here have to make an issue out of the stupidest things....

Ah well :-)

How Soon Is Now

fat__tony wrote: »

Does the truth hurt?

I hope your girlfriend dumps you.

People like you are a waste of space.

Haha someone's upset ?

riveratom

angerfist2009 wrote: »

What difference does it make when you say ur not single and don't message people ? I just view profiles once in blue moon infact me girlfriend has sat there next to me looking out of interest as well or just to laugh at some the stuff on it.

Sometimes I just think some people on here have to make an issue out of the stupidest things....

Ah well :-)

Each to their own, but I find it bizarre that anyone in a happy relationship would go onto a dating site, even 'just for a look'.

A dating site is the last place on the internet I'd be interested in going if I was in a relationship with someone I wanted to be with.

How Soon Is Now

riveratom wrote: »

Each to their own, but I find it bizarre that anyone in a happy relationship would go onto a dating site, even 'just for a look'.

A dating site is the last place on the internet I'd be interested in going if I was in a relationship with someone I wanted to be with.

Like I said its an old account I've had for years that I stopped using years ago. Your picking at nothing here its a none issue ha :-) its same as me looking threw profiles on facebook.

I'm in a happy relationship infact I'm in bed next to me girlfriend at moment she's reading all of this lol :-) see how stupid all this is ??

fat__tony

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Haha someone's upset ?

No, I'm not upset.

I'm just stating the facts.

I've just noticed your immature abusive message via PM.

I stand by my previous 'waste of space' comment.

You appear to be quite the catch for your 'lucky' lady.

mood

sharper wrote: »

Yes but the difference is across all men there's quite a bit of diversity in terms of preferred body type, hair length and personality.

Across all women there's a lot less variety. As noted in the thread women appear to have a very strong preference for height and you won't find much variety in that preference.

I'm 5'11 so I don't run into this particular issue but I do find it perplexing.

Whether people can "change" their preferences is a tricky issue. If men uniformly preferred women with large breasts and pursued them to the degree women pursue height I think it would be fair to say it would be worth considering whether breasts were really all that important and whether they would really add all that much to their relationship happiness.

What are you basing this on? It's an assumption of yours I think and it is incorrect in my experience. My female friend, female relations, gay friends and myself all have different preferences in men.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Tbh I don't think men can afford to be as picky, so for that reason I'd have to say that men would be more open to variety, because if a guy has a particular preference e.g, (big breasts, blonde, tall) etc, then his options are going to be extremely limited, and an average man's options on a dating site are limited as it is.

If men out-number women in OD and women get more messages, then the women can afford to be more picky as they have more to choose from. Therefore you see a lot of these lists of requirements in some profiles of what they want in a partner.

I know you can't help what you're attracted to, but saying that a person needs to be over 5'10 is very specific. That would be like a man saying a woman must be under 10 stone before he will date her. People who have such a specific preference could be missing out on great dates or potential compatible partners for the sake of a couple of inches or pounds.

I have seen on loads of men profile a specific height and weight bracket of woman they want to meet. You are assuming women are more picky than men and I think that is not true.

How Soon Is Now

fat__tony wrote: »

No, I'm not upset.

I'm just stating the facts.

I've just noticed your immature abusive message via PM.

I stand by my previous 'waste of space' comment.

You appear to be quite the catch for your 'lucky' lady.

You number one don't have clue what your ****ting on bout when comes to me. Stating the facts ha I have one big fact staring me right in face here ;-).

You started the petty immature **** here saying I was a waste of space I took it to pm because I'd rather tell u what I think of u without the boards police telling me what I can and can't do :-).

mood

angerfist2009 wrote: »

What difference does it make when you say ur not single and don't message people ? I just view profiles once in blue moon infact me girlfriend has sat there next to me looking out of interest as well or just to laugh at some the stuff on it.

Sometimes I just think some people on here have to make an issue out of the stupidest things....

Ah well :-)

Dating sites are for single people to meet other single people. I would be very suspicious of someone in a relationship on a dating site. Boredom is a lame excuse. There are so much more interesting thing to view/read on the internet. I would hardly see viewing profiles as entertaining and I'm single. I suspect that you are only in your current relationship until someone better comes along and that is why you have not deleted you OD account. It also shows you girlfriend very little respect.

And using a dating site is not the same as using Facebook.

How Soon Is Now

mood wrote: »

Dating sites are for single people to meet other single people. I would be very suspicious of someone in a relationship on a dating site. Boredom is a lame excuse. There are so much more interesting thing to view/read on the internet. I would hardly see viewing profiles as entertaining and I'm single. I suspect that you are only in your current relationship until someone better comes along and that is why you have not deleted you OD account. It also shows you girlfriend very little respect.

And using a dating site is not the same as using Facebook.

Right the above annoys me ha.

You have no idea about me my relationship or anything about me or my girlfriend.

Don't comment on something u have no idea about because you couldn't be any more wrong in what u have said.

Jesus some of the people on this site sometimes I would love if all these conversations where being said in person.

Some of the pure crap I hear on here directed towards certain situations.

And another thing the amount of women's profiles I came across when I was single who clearly listed they where in a relationship but are on there looking for friends and so on. I don't even look for friends ha I don't message people I don't do ****ing anything other then pass the odd bit of time when I can't sleep once in blue moon looking around.

Jesus I wish u knew what me and my girlfriend have been doing last few months and how serious I am bout her then u would see what crap u are saying and what u think I'm doing.

sharper

mood wrote: »

What are you basing this on? It's an assumption of yours I think and it is incorrect in my experience. My female friend, female relations, gay friends and myself all have different preferences in men.

Purely on my own experience and what other people say is theirs.

I think where maybe it can get confusing is that women assign less value to physical appearance.

If we focus just on physical appearance though there are plenty of men out there that are actively attracted to slim women and there are plenty of men that are actively attracted to plump women.

There are many women that are actively attracted to slim or athletic men but very very few that are actively attracted to plump men. However, women do of course end up with plump men because they're attracted by other factors, personality, dress sense etc.

An individual man is less likely to look past his preference for slim women and be attracted to a plump woman because of other factors.

All of these things vary a lot between people and there will always be examples that don't fit but I do think it's reasonable to say that in general women's physical preferences are quite a bit more narrow than men's.

I think this at least partially explains the perception by some men that you have to look like a movie star to get anywhere with women. What they're comparing is their experience of how men tend to be attracted to women and trying to find the same in reverse, unless you're an exceptionally good looking man you won't find it.

None of this is a criticism, just my observation of how it all appears to work. I've always suggested both men and women should step back and consider what they really want in a partner and if the types factors they're finding attractive is really what's helping them get there and really as immutable as they think.

Mr_Spaceman

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Haha someone's upset ?

Smug self-satisfaction is seldom an attractive trait.

How Soon Is Now

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Smug self-satisfaction is seldom an attractive trait.

You got that from what I said ? Lol I dunno.

mood

sharper wrote: »

Purely on my own experience and what other people say is theirs.

I think where maybe it can get confusing is that women assign less value to physical appearance.

If we focus just on physical appearance though there are plenty of men out there that are actively attracted to slim women and there are plenty of men that are actively attracted to plump women.

There are many women that are actively attracted to slim or athletic men but very very few that are actively attracted to plump men. However, women do of course end up with plump men because they're attracted by other factors, personality, dress sense etc.

An individual man is less likely to look past his preference for slim women and be attracted to a plump woman because of other factors.

All of these things vary a lot between people and there will always be examples that don't fit but I do think it's reasonable to say that in general women's physical preferences are quite a bit more narrow than men's.

I think this at least partially explains the perception by some men that you have to look like a movie star to get anywhere with women. What they're comparing is their experience of how men tend to be attracted to women and trying to find the same in reverse, unless you're an exceptionally good looking man you won't find it.

None of this is a criticism, just my observation of how it all appears to work. I've always suggested both men and women should step back and consider what they really want in a partner and if the types factors they're finding attractive is really what's helping them get there and really as immutable as they think.

We will have to agree to disagree.

IMO in the dating word in general men have it easier as most women tend to look beyond someone's physical appearance and personality tends to be more important to them where as very few men would have a relationship if they don't fancy a women form the start.

Mr_Spaceman

angerfist2009 wrote: »

You got that from what I said ? Lol I dunno.

I've got it from everything you've contributed to this thread actually.

Well done.

Mr_Spaceman

mood wrote: »

We will have to agree to disagree.

IMO in the dating word in general men have it easier as most women tend to look beyond someone's physical appearance and personality tends to be more important to them where as very few men would have a relationship if they don't fancy a women form the start.

While this is true IRL dating, when it comes to OD I disagree, as both genders tend to focus on physical appearance.

sharper

mood wrote: »

IMO in the dating word in general men have it easier as most women tend to look beyond someone's physical appearance and personality tends to be more important to them where as very few men would have a relationship if they don't fancy a women form the start.

Ha and men tend to say women have it easier because they select rather than initiate

What you say is true but I think the diversity between individuals is so great no all encompassing set of rules could ever benefit everybody. No matter how you set it up someone will feel the other side has it better or easier.

It's why I reject the idea women have it easier on dating sites even though it is tempting to feel that way after yet another message gets ignored. Ultimately everyone not currently in a happy relationship (and is trying to be in one) is probably outside what the average provides for.

How Soon Is Now

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I've got it from everything you've contributed to this thread actually.

Well done.

Fair play to ya :-) you should be proud u know it all ha.

sharper

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

While this is true IRL dating, when it comes to OD I disagree, as both genders tend to focus on physical appearance.

I think "a good picture" would be more accurate. That also encompasses a lot of things like facial expression, how they're dressed, lighting, what they're doing and so on.

A really well built guy whose only profile picture is a slightly blurry shirtless bathroom picture is probably not going to attract as much as he might think versus an average guy that's smiling, dressed nicely and maybe at a social event of some type.

Prick!

@angerfist, if you say browsing OD sites are the same as browsing facebook, why not just browse facebook?

You must have the gf wrapped around your little finger if she's alright with it.

mood

sharper wrote: »

Ha and men tend to say women have it easier because they select rather than initiate

What you say is true but I think the diversity between individuals is so great no all encompassing set of rules could ever benefit everybody. No matter how you set it up someone will feel the other side has it better or easier.

It's why I reject the idea women have it easier on dating sites even though it is tempting to feel that way after yet another message gets ignored. Ultimately everyone not currently in a happy relationship (and is trying to be in one) is probably outside what the average provides for.

I agree. Obviously there are arguments for who has it easier men or women. I think both have advantages and disadvantages. I'm really sick of seeing post here by guys say women can just pick and chose and have it so easy on dating sites. As I woman I can honestly say that is not true at all and plenty of other women on this thread have said the same.

* Obviously extremely good looking women can pick and chose but they are in minority just like extremely good looking men are.

How Soon Is Now

Prick! wrote: »

@angerfist, if you say browsing OD sites are the same as browsing facebook, why not just browse facebook?

You must have the gf wrapped around your little finger if she's alright with it.

Haha Jesus I love how everyone seems to know so much about my relationship...
I'm going round and round in fecking circles here so I couldn't be arsed anymore.

I'm out before I say something that gets me banned yet again from a fourm on here..........

Mr_Spaceman

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Haha Jesus I love how everyone seems to know so much about my relationship... Only reason I'm still replying to all this ****e at this stage is cause I don't back down when people address me even more so when I know I'm right.

Okay, let's see then.

Smugly announcing you're in a relationship (congratulations) while looking down your nose at those of us who are single and trying to make OD work, while then going on to justify trawling dating sites 'for a laugh.'

However, the fact you've been backed into a corner with no-one else supporting your ridiculous self-justification is rather telling.

The trick is knowing when to stop.

riveratom

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Haha Jesus I love how everyone seems to know so much about my relationship...
I'm going round and round in fecking circles here so I couldn't be arsed anymore.

I'm out before I say something that gets me banned yet again from a fourm on here..........

angerfist, I think the reason you're getting people's backs up is because you're coming onto an online dating thread and talking to a bunch of single folks trying to meet someome about how you still go for a browse on dating sites to check out the profiles - even though you're in a relationship. It's not rocket science!

Do you get messages from women and just not reply?

mood

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Okay, let's see then.

Smugly announcing you're in a relationship (congratulations) while looking down your nose at those of us who are single and trying to make OD work, while then going on to justify trawling dating sites 'for a laugh.'

However, the fact you've been backed into a corner with no-one else supporting your ridiculous self-justification is rather telling.

The trick is knowing when to stop.

He has also sent nasty PM messages to me for daring to respond on his posts! Another threat user said he also got an abusive PM from him. I pity the poor girlfriend.

sharper

mood wrote: »

He has also sent nasty PM messages to me for daring to respond on his posts! Another threat user said he also got an abusive post from him. I pity the poor girlfriend.

See he was right, there are strange and worrying people online :eek:

I assume his presence in this thread is an extension of "having a laugh" with online dating.