The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Esoteric_

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Haha Jesus I love how everyone seems to know so much about my relationship...
I'm going round and round in fecking circles here so I couldn't be arsed anymore.

I'm out before I say something that gets me banned yet again from a fourm on here..........

People are obviously going to make some assumptions about your relationship when you come into a thread like this and announce that you have a girlfriend but still browse dating sites 'for a laugh,' while also insulting OD as a whole. What you're doing is making a mockery of the whole online dating thing and making it harder for genuine guys to meet women. And frankly, the rude attitude you've displayed to anyone who disagrees with you is disgusting. NOBODY here is going to take what you say in a positive light when your posts are sprinkled with swear words and insults towards people.

So yeah, maybe just think a bit about what you're saying before you post. It's insulting to every single person using online dating that you're making a laugh out of it. I'm not even using OD anymore and I'm irritated by your posts. I'm not using OD and you don't see me coming in here and insulting everyone, I come in and try to give some honest advice to people who need it, because that's what people here want, not people berating them and their method of finding a partner.

maguic24

You have really opened up a can of worms angerfist. I think most people are annoyed with you because you have slated OD and everyone on OD. Yes, there will always be weirdoes and crazy people on OD, but there are also genuine people looking for partners. A lot of people meet their lifelong partners on OD sites. I think what you said about OD was slightly insensitive, as this is a thread ABOUT OD, therefore it will be frequented by users. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but alas it is only an opinion. Just because you were never successful on OD, doesn't mean that no one will be.

It is also great that you are have a girlfriend, I'm delighted for you, and I hope you two are very happy together. However, a little more tact would be nice, seeing that a lot of people commenting on this thread are single.

gilmour

Who really cares if the chap is in a relationship or not?

Daveysil15

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

While this is true IRL dating, when it comes to OD I disagree, as both genders tend to focus on physical appearance.

mood wrote: »

I agree. Obviously there are arguments for who has it easier men or women. I think both have advantages and disadvantages. I'm really sick of seeing post here by guys say women can just pick and chose and have it so easy on dating sites. As I woman I can honestly say that is not true at all and plenty of other women on this thread have said the same.

* Obviously extremely good looking women can pick and chose but they are in minority just like extremely good looking men are.

You don't need to be an extremely good looking woman to get results in OD though. Even an average looking woman will get more messages than a good looking guy if this experiment is anything to go by:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/results-from-an-online-dating-experiment/

Now I know quality is better than quantity and all that, but you'd have to agree women have at the very least, a slight advantage over men in this area. People having success with OD however is a different matter entirely.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

You don't need to be an extremely good looking woman to get results in OD though. Even an average looking woman will get more messages than a good looking guy if this experiment is anything to go by:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/results-from-an-online-dating-experiment/

Now I know quality is better than quantity and all that, but you'd have to agree women have at the very least, a slight advantage over men in this area. People having success with OD however is a different matter entirely.

Guys post here saying women get 100s of messages a day etc. As an average looking women I can honestly tell you that is not the case.

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

Guys post here saying women get 100s of messages a day etc. As an average looking women I can honestly tell you that is not the case.

Not to sound insulting or anything, but how do you know you're average looking or perceived as average looking by guys online? 100's of messages is a bit of an exaggeration, unless you're really attractive maybe. But from what I've read here, women do get more messages than men, but I suppose it depends on the person.

sharper

Daveysil15 wrote: »

You don't need to be an extremely good looking woman to get results in OD though. Even an average looking woman will get more messages than a good looking guy if this experiment is anything to go by:

The thing is though we're all looking for just one person. A woman is more likely to get attention based on her looks yes but it doesn't mean it's attention from guys she's attracted to, or that they're looking for the same things she is.

I have also seen cases of:

-Perfectly nice looking girls with well filled out profiles that get almost no attention. I don't know why that is and it becomes a problem because girls that approach guys online don't do much better than guys.

-Girls that were looking for relationships being constantly annoyed by guys looking for casual sex. The worst being guys that claimed that wanted a relationship but tried to pressure them into sex at the end of the first night and wrote fairly nasty mails afterwards.

It's a hard slog for everyone on there. I really don't think it's much to do with the "online" part (though it does seem to make everyone nastier) but a lot to do with how people see dating and the opposite sex in general.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Not to sound insulting or anything, but how do you know you're average looking or perceived as average looking by guys online? 100's of messages is a bit of an exaggeration, unless you're really attractive maybe. But from what I've read here, women do get more messages than men, but I suppose it depends on the person.

They most likely do get more messages but I have seen it said here loads of times buy men that women get 100s of messages a day and that is not true. Other women have also pointed this out but men still seem to think it's true.

riveratom

sharper wrote: »

The thing is though we're all looking for just one person. A woman is more likely to get attention based on her looks yes but it doesn't mean it's attention from guys she's attracted to, or that they're looking for the same things she is.

I have also seen cases of:

-Perfectly nice looking girls with well filled out profiles that get almost no attention. I don't know why that is and it becomes a problem because girls that approach guys online don't do much better than guys.

-Girls that were looking for relationships being constantly annoyed by guys looking for casual sex. The worst being guys that claimed that wanted a relationship but tried to pressure them into sex at the end of the first night and wrote fairly nasty mails afterwards.

It's a hard slog for everyone on there. I really don't think it's much to do with the "online" part (though it does seem to make everyone nastier) but a lot to do with how people see dating and the opposite sex in general.

I think a good way of summing up the whole situation is that women in general get more attention that men both in real life and online - simply because men are hard-wired to chase and pursue.

However, this doesn't translate into it being easier for a woman to find someone she likes - because a higher rate of attention = a higher rate of attention from undesirables, as well as those she likes the look of. So, there is more 'noise' out there from a woman's perspective.

Daveysil15

It's one thing to receive lots of attention in OD, but finding a suitable partner from it is another thing and what it all boils down to I suppose. However it would be interesting to see who from this thread has had the most dates, as obviously you'd have a better chance of finding someone suitable if you're getting plenty of dates.

sharper

riveratom wrote: »

However, this doesn't translate into it being easier for a woman to find someone she likes - because a higher rate of attention = a higher rate of attention from undesirables, as well as those she likes the look of. So, there is more 'noise' out there from a woman's perspective.

I think you summed it up a lot better than I, thanks

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

It's one thing to receive lots of attention in OD, but finding a suitable partner from it is another thing and what it all boils down to I suppose. However it would be interesting to see who from this thread has had the most dates, as obviously you'd have a better chance of finding someone suitable if you're getting plenty of dates.

I had 8 dates when I had been on a paid site 6 months. I also had 2 dates cancelled.

cyrusdvirus

I would have been an avid proponent of the paid sites up until going back on the the OD world in June.

Now, not a chance. On the paid sites I found the women a lot less interested in replying. And my messages were on a light hearted enough nature, always referring to something in their profiles.

Went onto OKC then and had a lot more replies, and a lot more interest.

mood

cyrusdvirus wrote: »

I would have been an avid proponent of the paid sites up until going back on the the OD world in June.

Now, not a chance. On the paid sites I found the women a lot less interested in replying. And my messages were on a light hearted enough nature, always referring to something in their profiles.

Went onto OKC then and had a lot more replies, and a lot more interest.

Did you get date from the paid or free sites?

riveratom

Daveysil15 wrote: »

It's one thing to receive lots of attention in OD, but finding a suitable partner from it is another thing and what it all boils down to I suppose. However it would be interesting to see who from this thread has had the most dates, as obviously you'd have a better chance of finding someone suitable if you're getting plenty of dates.

I've been doing OD since May, have been on 9 dates dates with 7 different people since then. All but one has been from a paid site.

cyrusdvirus

mood wrote: »

Did you get date from the paid or free sites?

Not from paid, yes from freebies.

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

I had 8 dates when I had been on a paid site 6 months. I also had 2 dates cancelled.

I've had 2 dates in 2 years. One from POF and one from OKC. So everybody... what's your magic number?

Galvasean

Mailed 4 gals yesterday. Logged in today and they've all viewed my profile but none of them replied. Same old story.
Any interesting developments over the weekend for anybody?

Galvasean

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I've had 2 dates in 2 years. One from POF and one from OKC. So everybody... what's your magic number?

At a guess over the last 2 years I'd say I've had 12-15 first dates, four or five second dates and one relationship from OD. Also had a few cancelled dates that never got rescheduled and have been stood up once. Not terrible going I'd say, but I've very much lost my momentum in the last while.

cyrusdvirus

This time round, paid sites = 0
Free sites = 2 different women, with 2 more lined up, and one nibbling on the hook, using a POF euphemism.

Last time round (for about a year, 3 years ago) paid = 5 dates, with one ending up in a 2 year relationship.

cloud_dancer

Date no 2 went really well. There will definitely be a third

Prick!

cloud_dancer wrote: »

Date no 2 went really well. There will definitely be a third

Excellent

Prick!

I mail a girl a nice message.

Her reply.

"Sorry but no"

cloud_dancer

Prick! wrote: »

I mail a girl a nice message.

Her reply.

"Sorry but no"

I'm surprised she bothered replying.

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

Mailed 4 gals yesterday. Logged in today and they've all viewed my profile but none of them replied. Same old story.
Any interesting developments over the weekend for anybody?

Depressing, isn't it?

Why the feck are people just so ludicrously picky? Life isn't perfect nor is the world of OD.

Give the man a break, here!

smallgarden

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Depressing, isn't it?

Why the feck are people just so ludicrously picky? Life isn't perfect nor is the world of OD.

Give the man a break, here!

i think the key is to send messages, if no reply,dust yourself off and try someone else, if out in a bar people do the same. i regularly get no replies to emails i send guys. i agree alot with what mood has said already. im average looking and dont get 100s of messages either. i get quite a few views but out of about 30 only 1 or 2 might send me an email at most. id say I go on dates with 2 guys a year from od. recently i've been chatting to guys for about a week back and forth, getting on quite well and then all of a sudden hear nothing back from them

cloud_dancer

Galvasean wrote: »

Mailed 4 gals yesterday. Logged in today and they've all viewed my profile but none of them replied. Same old story.
Any interesting developments over the weekend for anybody?

Sorry you aren't having much luck as of late When was the last time you gave the profile a going over and changed pics? You've had successes with OD in the past. Are you doing things any differently this time?

cyrusdvirus

cloud_dancer wrote: »

Sorry you aren't having much luck as of late When was the last time you gave the profile a going over and changed pics? You've had successes with OD in the past. Are you doing things any differently this time?

The problem with constantly tweaking the profile is that it can get big and unwieldy.

Profiles should be for helping you decide if you like the person, not having to read through a dissertation of their personality.

riveratom

Galvasean wrote: »

At a guess over the last 2 years I'd say I've had 12-15 first dates, four or five second dates and one relationship from OD. Also had a few cancelled dates that never got rescheduled and have been stood up once. Not terrible going I'd say, but I've very much lost my momentum in the last while.

Hey dude,

You were saying that you changed your height back to 5'8" from to 5'9" and that you are between both heights. Just change it back! You said you're between both so it's fine to have it as the latter. It'd be different if you were 5'7" or 5'8" even.

I'd also shorten the profile and leave em wanting to find out more!

Try the above and I guarantee you'll start getting more messages. If not you can come back and prove me wrong!

Think of it as a public experiment

KTRIC

Had a 5th date there and to be honest things are running a bit stale. We are out of things to talk about and it doesn't look like we've a huge amount in common. I think the physical attraction is there but nothing else.

How are things done at this stage when you want to call it time, do you meet, text or call ?