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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

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    #7022
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    If a girl is towering above the man then its understandable, but if the guy is around the same height, or if the girl is like 5'2 and demands that the guy must be over 5'10, that's when it gets a bit silly - especially if she then has the audacity to say there's no decent men out there. Not everyone does this of course, but its a bit unreasonable of people who do.

    Personally I'd agree that's a bit silly but different strokes for different folks. I know if I was 5"2 I wouldn't care what height the man was as long as he was taller than me.

    If the guy is "around the same height" as you said though, then it does matter for some women. As some women wear high heels a lot and would not like to be taller than the man. It's just personal preference. It bothers some women. It doesn't bother others.


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    #7023
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Personally I'd agree that's a bit silly but different strokes for different folks. I know if I was 5"2 I wouldn't care what height the man was as long as he was taller than me.

    If the guy is "around the same height" as you said though, then it does matter for some women. As some women wear high heels a lot and would not like to be taller than the man. It's just personal preference. It bothers some women. It doesn't bother others.

    Weird how it doesn't seem to be a problem for men...


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    #7024
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Weird how it doesn't seem to be a problem for men...

    It is a problem for some men. One guy I went out with said he would never have approached me if I was taller!


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    #7025
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Weird how it doesn't seem to be a problem for men...

    I imagine it would bother some men and wouldn't bother other men, as with all things like this. Everybody's different. Everyone has different opinions and preferences for potential dates/partners.

    That said, I only know one guy (although he's the only guy I've ever had this conversation with to be fair) who is 5"4 and really dislikes when girls are taller than him. He prefers going for the smaller women. Although he does have a lot of confidence issues.


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    #7026
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    I imagine it would bother some men and wouldn't bother other men, as with all things like this. Everybody's different. Everyone has different opinions and preferences for potential dates/partners.

    That said, I only know one guy (although he's the only guy I've ever had this conversation with to be fair) who is 5"4 and really dislikes when girls are taller than him. He prefers going for the smaller women. Although he does have a lot of confidence issues.

    I've never heard a guy saying, "I'm not going up to her, she's too tall/small", when out with mates in the past who would have been single! It does seem to be an online rule more than one you would run into in general when out and about and it seems to be a gender specific rule, OK, every now and again you'll run into a small guy with Napoleon/Little Man Syndrome and that'll be the exception when it comes to guys having an issue with a girl being taller than him!


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    #7027
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    I've never heard a guy saying, "I'm not going up to her, she's too tall/small", when out with mates in the past who would have been single! It does seem to be an online rule more than one you would run into in general when out and about and it seems to be a gender specific rule, OK, every now and again you'll run into a small guy with Napoleon/Little Man Syndrome and that'll be the exception when it comes to guys having an issue with a girl being taller than him!

    Like I said, I only know one such guy where height is an issue for him. Wheras I know several women who wouldn't approach a smaller guy. So I'm agreeing with you in a sense that it is generally more women for whom it's an issue. But I stick to my opinion in both online and offline dating - and maybe it's just a way for me to deal with rejection but I think it's a healthy attitude to have - different people have different preferences. Don't get offended if a woman isn't into you because of your height, weight, build, career, hair colour etc. etc. You can't force someone to change the way they feel or what their 'criteria' is for dating.


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    #7028
    cloud_dancer
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭cloud_dancer


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Personally I'd agree that's a bit silly but different strokes for different folks. I know if I was 5"2 I wouldn't care what height the man was as long as he was taller than me.

    If the guy is "around the same height" as you said though, then it does matter for some women. As some women wear high heels a lot and would not like to be taller than the man. It's just personal preference. It bothers some women. It doesn't bother others.

    That's the concern I'd have with dating a guy one or two inches taller than me. I'd be towering over him in heels. I've dated a guy close to my own height and we used to get people whistling and shouting at us from car windows because of the height difference in heels. :o I went out with a guy that was 5'8" which wasn't too bad… still taller than him in heels but not ridiculously so.

    I wouldn’t rule someone out on height but I do love a man to be a good bit taller than me and much stronger in general. It’s nice to be swooped up and carried off into the bedroom! :D


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    #7029
    riveratom
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭riveratom


    cloud_dancer wrote: »
    That's the concern I'd have with dating a guy one or two inches taller than me. I'd be towering over him in heels. I've dated a guy close to my own height and we used to get people whistling and shouting at us from car windows because of the height difference in heels. :o I went out with a guy that was 5'8" which wasn't too bad… still taller than him in heels but not ridiculously so.

    I wouldn’t rule someone out on height but I do love a man to be a good bit taller than me and much stronger in general. It’s nice to be swooped up and carried off into the bedroom! :D

    Height =/= strength.....


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    #7030
    cloud_dancer
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭cloud_dancer


    riveratom wrote: »
    Height =/= strength.....

    You are right :) I've never had a shorter guy do this though. Seems to be a novely for the tall/big guys I've dated. They have loved picking me up, lifting me onto their laps etc and it's really nice to feel small and dainty :o


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    #7031
    riveratom
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭riveratom


    cloud_dancer wrote: »
    You are right :) I've never had a shorter guy do this though. Seems to be a novely for the tall/big guys I've dated. They have loved picking me up, lifting me onto their laps etc and it's really nice to feel small and dainty :o

    Aye it's true. My only issue would be girls who actually use height as some sort of 'filtering' mechanism. But it doesn't actually matter anyway, as they are not the kind of girls you'd want to be with anyway :) So it's all good!

    While I'm not tall, I'm not short either, so I am thankful for that :)

    I do like a girl to be a few inches shorter than me too, so I see where you're coming from anyway.


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    #7032
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    Not really.

    The only thing I'd suggest is to put yourself in her shoes. How many times have you got a 'no reply' reply?

    Send her back something, even if it is a thanks but no thanks.

    Seriously dude, take it from a chick, no reply is better than the pity reply, no matter how polite you think you're being.


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    #7033
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    Seriously dude, take it from a chick, no reply is better than the pity reply, no matter how polite you think you're being.

    +1 haha! I got one once and I thought it was soooo smug & patronising! I think it came from one of the girls who frequents this thread so I'm not going to say too much about what was said, but if you don't like someone's profile, maybe just leave it be, so need to be so fúcking Catholic about it!


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    #7034
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Yup I ignore messages when I'm not interested and would prefer no reply over a "thanks but no thanks" message.

    However, what would be the consensus when someone doesn't have their pictures on their profile. They message you/you message them and in the first message ask for a picture. They reply and send one....and I'm not interested.

    Would you prefer to be ignored at this stage?

    At least with an initial no reply, it can be put down to many things where as if I ignore now, the person will clearly know it's because of their picture....


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    #7035
    riveratom
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭riveratom


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »

    However, what would be the consensus when someone doesn't have their pictures on their profile. They message you/you message them and in the first message ask for a picture. They reply and send one....and I'm not interested.

    Would you prefer to be ignored at this stage?

    At least with an initial no reply, it can be put down to many things where as if I ignore now, the person will clearly know it's because of their picture....

    To be fair that's the risk you take when you message someone and you have no photo up - so don't feel bad about not replying at that point!

    I think if you don't have a pic up, you have to realise that that's something that's bound to happen.


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    #7036
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Yup I ignore messages when I'm not interested and would prefer no reply over a "thanks but no thanks" message.

    However, what would be the consensus when someone doesn't have their pictures on their profile. They message you/you message them and in the first message ask for a picture. They reply and send one....and I'm not interested.

    Would you prefer to be ignored at this stage?

    At least with an initial no reply, it can be put down to many things where as if I ignore now, the person will clearly know it's because of their picture....

    Sure most contacts with other people just fizzle out, I'd have been yapping with loads of girls on the site, but met very very few, people mail you, you get yapping, I just assumed they are yapping to someone else if I don't hear from them in a while, it's a fickle kind of business, I don't think people who get into the OD ring, really can expect to have a problem with being judged almost exclusively on their pics, that's what you take on when you get into the ring I think!


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    #7037
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Yup I ignore messages when I'm not interested and would prefer no reply over a "thanks but no thanks" message.

    However, what would be the consensus when someone doesn't have their pictures on their profile. They message you/you message them and in the first message ask for a picture. They reply and send one....and I'm not interested.

    Would you prefer to be ignored at this stage?

    At least with an initial no reply, it can be put down to many things where as if I ignore now, the person will clearly know it's because of their picture....

    I have replied saying "Sorry, you're not my type". Just being honest with them. Had one person ask why, so had to give a reason, he replied with "Seriously?". At that point, I blocked him. FFS!! If you don't have a photo up don't expect everyone to be attracted to you!


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    #7038
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Yup I ignore messages when I'm not interested and would prefer no reply over a "thanks but no thanks" message.

    However, what would be the consensus when someone doesn't have their pictures on their profile. They message you/you message them and in the first message ask for a picture. They reply and send one....and I'm not interested.

    Would you prefer to be ignored at this stage?

    At least with an initial no reply, it can be put down to many things where as if I ignore now, the person will clearly know it's because of their picture....

    I never messaged anyone who didn't have a pic, and didn't reply to anyone who messaged me and didn't attach one in the first mail.

    I'm sure I'll be accused of being shallow, but sorry - my pics were out there, the least you can do when messaging me is show your face.


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    #7039
    riveratom
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭riveratom


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    I never messaged anyone who didn't have a pic, and didn't reply to anyone who messaged me and didn't attach one in the first mail.

    I'm sure I'll be accused of being shallow, but sorry - my pics were out there, the least you can do when messaging me is show your face.

    Yeah 9 times out of 10 I don't reply. I think maybe a few times I did, and each time I didn't fancy the girl.

    Fair is fair, you should have a pic up.


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    #7040
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    mood wrote: »
    Would archaeology or anthropology not be a more appropiate way to describe you interest? 'Dinosaurs' might give women an impression the you never grew up!

    Neither archaeology nor anthropology are really dinosaur orientated. Palaeontology (check the forum I moderate :P)

    As for the part I bolded >_>
    mood wrote: »
    Yes something are better not said. A passing interest might be mistaken for a borderline obsession.

    <_<


    2401_70902762664_3618_n.jpg
    Honey-ec wrote: »
    I never messaged anyone who didn't have a pic, and didn't reply to anyone who messaged me and didn't attach one in the first mail.

    I'm sure I'll be accused of being shallow, but sorry - my pics were out there, the least you can do when messaging me is show your face.

    Agree 100%. If people don't want their pictures public for whatever reason that's fair enough, but when mailing folks who do they should at least attach one so the recipient at least has an idea of whose talking to them. It'd be rude not to sure. There's something very awkward about talking to someone you can't see when they can see you.


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    #7041
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Neither archaeology nor anthropology are really dinosaur orientated. Palaeontology (check the forum I moderate :P)

    As for the part I bolded >_>



    <_<


    2401_70902762664_3618_n.jpg



    Agree 100%. If people don't want their pictures public for whatever reason that's fair enough, but when mailing folks who do they should at least attach one so the recipient at least has an idea of whose talking to them. It'd be rude not to sure. There's something very awkward about talking to someone you can't see when they can see you.

    I hope that's not your profile pic!


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    #7042
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Gosh no! That's a webcam pic I took when I first started using facebook and needed a profiler (some four years ago maybe?) before I knew what tagging was. The lengthy middlepart hairdoo is long gone as well.


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    #7043
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Nearly wet myself from laughing at the dinosaur pic. :pac:

    Maybe all the ladies think you're the new Ross? He was a Paleantologist, wasn't he? :p


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    #7044
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Ross Geller, me? Whatever gave them that idea?
    Oddly enough though, generally when I do end up meting people from OD they want to know more on the subject (you're supposed to be unique right?). heck, some of them don't even run screaming.


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    #7045
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    I call foul. Someone didn't even get a Ross Geller/Flintstones joke yesterday.


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    #7046
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    I think you should put the dino pic as your profile pic and see if you get any mails!! :D


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    #7047
    Mince Pie
    Registered Users Posts: 3,901 ✭✭✭Mince Pie


    Hi everyone, newbie here. Been lurking here for a few days and registered on OKC on the advice of a previous poster and its free. (sorry but in the UK I've always viewed POF as a bit of a shag pick up. Sorry but I know a fair few that use it)

    Anyway, I wished to prevail upon your wisdom. As a woman, if you got a weird message from a man and it comes across a bit "escorty" would you send a message saying thanks but no thanks or just ignore?

    Thanks and looking forward to sharing some stories with ye'all. Hopefully not bad ones, funny yes. ;-)


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    #7048
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    Mince Pie wrote: »
    Anyway, I wished to prevail upon your wisdom. As a woman, if you got a weird message from a man and it comes across a bit "escorty" would you send a message saying thanks but no thanks or just ignore?

    Ignore.


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    #7049
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Mince Pie wrote: »
    Hi everyone, newbie here. Been lurking here for a few days and registered on OKC on the advice of a previous poster and its free. (sorry but in the UK I've always viewed POF as a bit of a shag pick up. Sorry but I know a fair few that use it)

    Anyway, I wished to prevail upon your wisdom. As a woman, if you got a weird message from a man and it comes across a bit "escorty" would you send a message saying thanks but no thanks or just ignore?

    Thanks and looking forward to sharing some stories with ye'all. Hopefully not bad ones, funny yes. ;-)

    If he gets worse report him to the site.


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    #7050
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,219 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    Larianne wrote: »
    I think you should put the dino pic as your profile pic and see if you get any mails!! :D
    ^^ this. You look like James van Der Beek there, lol. Great pic, made me laugh :)


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    #7051
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    I call foul. Someone didn't even get a Ross Geller/Flintstones joke yesterday.

    I was in work unblocking the poop pipe. My head wasn't really in in the zone :o
    miamee wrote: »
    ^^ this. You look like James van Der Beek there, lol. Great pic, made me laugh :)

    3ojvaj.jpg


This discussion has been closed.
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