The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

knucklehead6

py2006 wrote: »

Ok, over the phone she spoke for quite some time about ex-boyfriend. Yay or nay?

yay or nay what? Yay as is go out on a date, nay as in don't?

Do you like her? Do you want to meet her? Does it really matter that she has an ex? He's an ex for a reason!!!

Mince Pie

py2006 wrote: »

Ok, over the phone she spoke for quite some time about ex-boyfriend. Yay or nay?

Did she just talk about her ex or did you talk about other stuff as well? Sounds like unresolved issues to me. Rebound?? I'm no expert though and tend to go with my gut instinct. Its generally right.

py2006

Sorry should have been more descriptive. Chatted for a bit via online dating site, then texted for a bit then a couple phone calls. But on one call she spoke for nearly 30 mins about ex boyfriend which I found off putting. Not sure if its worth my while meeting her or not.

If I read between the lines, she is waiting to get back with the boyfriend and meeting somebody online is just filling the gap or perhaps she wants to make him jealous or indeed both.

knucklehead6

py2006 wrote: »

Sorry should have been more descriptive. Chatted for a bit via online dating site, then texted for a bit then a couple phone calls. But on one call she spoke for nearly 30 mins about ex boyfriend which I found off putting. Not sure if its worth my while meeting her or not.

What have you got to lose apart from an hour or two in the company of a lady you obviously are attracted to in some way?

py2006

Do you not think it odd that if you are talking to a potential date on the phone that you would talk for the most part about an ex?

knucklehead6

py2006 wrote: »

Do you not think it odd that if you are talking to a potential date on the phone that you would talk for the most part about an ex?

it could have been nerves on her part.

I honestly wouldn't let it bother me. Meet up, if the same thing happened, then i'd decide.

But during a phone call? naah

Esoteric_

I personally wouldn't go on a date with someone who spent thirty minutes talking about their ex. I mean, exes are bound to come up in conversation once in a while. One of mine does, as he's my best friend now and has been for a few years since we broke up, but 30 minutes? That's a bit much. If someone chatted to me for that long about an ex, I'd assume they hadn't gotten over said ex or were bitter or something and I'd be too uncomfortable to go on a date with them. My ex (the one who is my best friend) and I dated for a few years, lived together and all that lark. On our first date, he spoke about his ex for about fifteen minutes. He's now back together with that ex. :pac: I'd just be weirded out by that sort of thing to be honest. It's your call though. If you like her, one date can't hurt, but if it were me, I wouldn't be going.

cloud_dancer

py2006 wrote: »

Sorry should have been more descriptive. Chatted for a bit via online dating site, then texted for a bit then a couple phone calls. But on one call she spoke for nearly 30 mins about ex boyfriend which I found off putting. Not sure if its worth my while meeting her or not.

If I read between the lines, she is waiting to get back with the boyfriend and meeting somebody online is just filling the gap or perhaps she wants to make him jealous or indeed both.

I'd say you have it in one. Most people will not talk about exes in the first couple of dates unless the ex is still very much on their mind. Who wants to hear all about sometimes ex? It can make you feel like you are being compared to them in every way. It's a major red flag to me. Whether or not you can face hours of conversion about the ex is up to you. also be prepared for the "I got back with my ex text" if you do start dating.

Larianne

py2006 wrote: »

Ok, over the phone she spoke for quite some time about ex-boyfriend. Yay or nay?

Nay.

knucklehead6 wrote: »

yay or nay what? Yay as is go out on a date, nay as in don't?

Do you like her? Do you want to meet her? Does it really matter that she has an ex? He's an ex for a reason!!!

It matters if they're talking about them for ~30minutes so someone they hardly know. That phone call should have been used to find out more about py2006 and to talk about herself.

py2006 wrote: »

Do you not think it odd that if you are talking to a potential date on the phone that you would talk for the most part about an ex?

Not odd.. off putting - she's obviously not over him. And you're dead right - she's just seeing what is out there but would probably go back to him in a split second.

I was on a date before where the guy talked a lot about his ex. How she stalked him for a year and a half and other things she did. Totally off putting - 1. because he was mentioning an ex and 2. who let's someting like that go on for a year and a half!! :eek:

Galvasean

riveratom wrote: »

That might not be the case though - I would say that a lot of people don't fill out their profile as they don't want to give too much away, or are wary or unsure of the whole thing, first time trying it, etc.

While I appreciate that people like privacy, if a profile is completely blank I think it's just a mixture of arrogance and ignorance. Listing a couple of movies or musicians that you like so people have something to go on isn't going to give away your identity and have a band of wandering psychopaths suddenly turn up at your door.

Mr_Spaceman

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I must admit I have done this before, although I usaully just copy and paste the introduction and then reference something from her profile. It's bound to get exhausting after a while, sending detailed messages over and over again. I think if a person has left their profile blank or only has a few words in it, then they deserve nothing more than a copy & paste job. There would be nothing to reference in that situation anyway.

Hmm... not quite. Actually they deserve nothing.

And if you're thinking of copying and pasting basic guff, don't waste your time. It doesn't work.

Make an effort or make for the exit door.

Mr_Spaceman

py2006 wrote: »

Sorry should have been more descriptive. Chatted for a bit via online dating site, then texted for a bit then a couple phone calls. But on one call she spoke for nearly 30 mins about ex boyfriend which I found off putting. Not sure if its worth my while meeting her or not.

If I read between the lines, she is waiting to get back with the boyfriend and meeting somebody online is just filling the gap or perhaps she wants to make him jealous or indeed both.

I'd say you'd be wasting your time.

If you do decide to meet up - which I think from what you say is not a good idea - tell her to save the boring ex-boyfriend bollocks for her analyst.

Act like a potential new boyfriend - not her social worker. Otherwise forget it.

Galvasean

I remember getting a firs contact message from a girl ages ago which said hello, introduced herself and then went on a big spiel about how I was so much unlike her ex boyfriends. There's something very disconcerting about someone going into great detail about exes as an introduction to someone they don't even know yet. It screams of unresolved issues. I'd be wary. And by wary I mean, I would run a mile.

I meant to say, I got a mail on OKC earlier (which is odd since I haven't been on it in a few days). Two words:
"Howyi lovely!"

*shudder*

Shapey Fiend

What sites do people recommend? Using Badoo and POF for a few days and haven't got much in the way of traction. Going out is nearly easier.

I probably need some proper photos. Lost my camera and the pool of FB tagged photos from nights out is a bit sparse.

I think I'd rather speed dating but the events in Cork are always booked out weeks ahead, not to mention a little bit pricey.

I think it's fairly widely considered that you shouldn't mention ex partners for quite a while. It's just polite.

cade

py2006 wrote: »

Ok, over the phone she spoke for quite some time about ex-boyfriend. Yay or nay?

Most definite Nay!
One of my first dates from OD way back in 2005 ended up like that, over the course of the hour we were together any topic of discussion we had she managed to divert back in to something about her ex.

None of her message online were like that, though to be fair I'd only started messaging her on OKC at eleven O'clock that day, asked her out at three for a date at five

But yea, she wasn't interested in me romantically, she just wanted someone to listen to her, though even she didn't realise that considering the I love you call and text afterwards :rolleyes:

So yea, that girl is just looking to kill some time and wants someone she can talk to, not with.

Micky 32

Lads forget about POF. Deleted my account and joined AF, they had a 4.99 deal for 10 days so thought i'd give it a try. The difference is huge. I get lots of responses, the cliental is different, even though i have seen the odd POF'er which i stay away from. I have date with a beautiful looking woman this weekend already ;-)

Jimmy Bottlehead

Micky 32 wrote: »

Lads forget about POF. Deleted my account and joined AF, they had a 4.99 deal for 10 days so thought i'd give it a try. The difference is huge. I get lots of responses, the cliental is different, even though i have seen the odd POF'er which i stay away from. I have date with a beautiful looking woman this weekend already ;-)

€5 for 10 days seems pretty expensive to me...

Daveysil15

What was that other site a poster recommended a while back? It's free for women, but the men have to pay 50 euro a month or something. Talk about favouring the women.

D_murph

Micky 32 wrote: »

Lads forget about POF. Deleted my account and joined AF, they had a 4.99 deal for 10 days so thought i'd give it a try. The difference is huge. I get lots of responses, the cliental is different, even though i have seen the odd POF'er which i stay away from. I have date with a beautiful looking woman this weekend already ;-)

Be careful with that. I got caught out by that offer before. The first 10 days are for €4.99 but when it expires, it will automatically start up a standard subscription which will automatically be deducted from your credit card :eek: until you send them an email stating that you wish to cancel.

The details on how to do this are on the website so you can find them there .

Micky 32

D_murph wrote: »

Be careful with that. I got caught out by that offer before. The first 10 days are for €4.99 but when it expires, it will automatically start up a standard subscription which will automatically be deducted from your credit card :eek: until you send them an email stating that you wish to cancel.

The details on how to do this are on the website so you can find them there .

Oh i'm aware of theiir practices and that won't be happening. Well i was giving it 10 days so i thought 5 euro wasn't bad and so far getting my fivers worth, also it's pemium plus,,:)

Tchaikovsky

Lads, I get quite a lot of girls messaging me, complimenting me on my profile and the like. Just to put it out there, if anyone would like help with their profiles, please feel free to PM me

D_murph

Micky 32 wrote: »

Oh i'm aware of theiir practices and that won't be happening. Well i was giving it 10 days so i thought 5 euro wasn't bad and so far getting my fivers worth, also it's pemium plus,,:)

Good stuff. Yeah, I should have said it was premium plus but i said standard because i couldnt remember the type but it would be a recurring one so Im glad you had that sussed out from the start as I only figured it out when I got my credit card bill lol.

knucklehead6

Shane732 wrote: »

What's AF?!

AnotherFriend.

I was on it for a while. Got disillusioned though!!

Esoteric_

Boards is jumping in on the OD bandwagon, sort of. :pac:

http://www.boards.ie/love.php

CastorTroy

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Boards is jumping in on the OD bandwagon, sort of. :pac:

http://www.boards.ie/love.php

Interesting. Try it yet? Let's see how I do.

Hmmm, think it's broke.

Esoteric_

CastorTroy wrote: »

Interesting. Try it yet? Let's see how I do.

Hmmm, think it's broke.

Yeah I tried it.

I got matched up with (among others) - Larianne, miamee, Mr. Spaceman, Galvasean, Armaghmagic, mood, That_Guy and some others.

So basically, everyone who posts in here. :pac:

Meauldsegosha

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Boards is jumping in on the OD bandwagon, sort of. :pac:

http://www.boards.ie/love.php

Ha ha Half the users the matched me to are female. Is boards trying to turn me?? ; )

mood

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Yeah I tried it.

I got matched up with (among others) - Larianne, miamee, Mr. Spaceman, Galvasean, Armaghmagic, mood, That_Guy and some others.

So basically, everyone who posts in here. :pac:

Pity we are both women :rolleyes:

Esoteric_

mood wrote: »

Pity we are both women :rolleyes:

It's okay, about half of the list was male. If it was all female, I'd have felt repulsive to men. :pac:

sharper

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Boards is jumping in on the OD bandwagon, sort of. :pac:

http://www.boards.ie/love.php

My top match on that is Galvasean, finally an explanation for us both being single!