The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Jimmy Bottlehead

knucklehead6 wrote: »

There are positives and negatives, but if you go into a relationship having a feeling that you have 'settled' for someone rather than wanting to jump his/her bones everytime you see them, it's pretty much doomed to failure.

I have no doubt that SOME relationships like that work out, but i'd say they are few and far between.

I'd fully agree with this based on past experiences.
I truly do think it's better to be happy and single than taken by someone who doesn't truly fulfil you. Life is too short to settle.

knucklehead6

yeahimhere wrote: »

Just back from my date, have to say I'm sill optimistic on future dates if this was anything to go by. Lovely guy,great chats but overall, I wasn't that attracted to him I'm afraid

Hard luck. But at least you have had your first OD, and by the sounds of it, enjoyed it.... even if the date didn't work out.

stargazer 68

Herrick wrote: »

Your not the only one Dovies

Aw no!
Hugs to you too xxxx
What a pair we are! lol

mood

Dermo73 wrote: »

My worst date - I turned up to the agreed pub and got a text from my date to say that she would be a bit late. When she arrived she seemed a bit down. I got the drinks and we sat down. After a bit of chat I asked her if something was wrong. She told me that there was an announcement in work that redundancies were on the way and she was likely to be let go. She was distracted, upset and clearly not in the mood for it. I have no idea why she didn't cancel. I suggested leaving it at one drink but the weird part was she actually stayed for 3 (all of which I bought). I sat there for 2 hours of misery - mumbling platitudes to a stranger that I quickly discovered I didn;t much like. Eventually I had to say I was going and bailed out before I was guilted into buying another round.

But you could have liked her is she hadn't got bad news. I don't agree with canceling dates but she REALLY should have.

miamee

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

Just curious to know, but has anyone ever had a truly awful OD date, been stood up or been blown off in a really cruel way?







(I hope I'm not opening old wounds here )

have had loads of awful ones - don't want to scare off any newbies in here with them though, lol. Lots of good ones too!

stargazer 68

miamee wrote: »

have had loads of awful ones -

Where would I start??

First ever OD date was a blind date - he was tall, dark and handsome (his words). He was tall! And I think he had about 8 arms - kept touching me all night ughghghghghgh. My first and last blind date!

Been stood up twice. One guy even had the nerve to text me when I got home to tell me he had changed his mind because he had seen me and decided I wasn't attractive enough for him - even described my 'outfit'. Funny thing was though - it wasn't me he had seen!! Completely different girl! :cool:

hollypink

Dovies wrote: »

One guy even had the nerve to text me when I got home to tell me he had changed his mind because he had seen me and decided I wasn't attractive enough for him - even described my 'outfit'. Funny thing was though - it wasn't me he had seen!! Completely different girl! :cool:

I have to admit, that's quite funny! God, what an asshole.

I was stood up once, no text or call to explain or anything. The pub was very quiet so I don't think he even showed up and left but I kept thinking about Ross's blind date on Friends when the waiter asked him "Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?" :cool: I thought I'd have been more upset but I suppose I just thought if he was that much of a coward/asshole, it was probably better we didn't meet. It did occur to me that something might have happened him but when I got home and logged onto POF, there he was online! I didn't contact him though; I wanted to keep what was left of my dignity!

miamee

Dovies wrote: »

Where would I start??

First ever OD date was a blind date - he was tall, dark and handsome (his words). He was tall! And I think he had about 8 arms - kept touching me all night ughghghghghgh. My first and last blind date!

Been stood up twice. One guy even had the nerve to text me when I got home to tell me he had changed his mind because he had seen me and decided I wasn't attractive enough for him - even described my 'outfit'. Funny thing was though - it wasn't me he had seen!! Completely different girl! :cool:

Lol, met a guy a few months ago who kept telling me (before we'd even met) that we were going to be great together. Alarm bells were ringing but having had a bad experience with another ODer recently, decided I needed a date even if it wasn't great. I got there first, nabbed a table (not the one down the back corner as he had instructed, someone sitting there thank feck :rolleyes:). Table with about 4 stools around it, I sit on the couch-type seat. He sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Legs touching. Way too close for comfort. There was a lot of arm rubbing and head patting/rubbing in a 'aren't you so cute & funny' kinda way. He practically got me in a headlock for a kiss in the pub before I decided enough was enough. The place was empty, I'd say the barman had a great laugh looking at the pair of us, him doing his best to touch me at every opportunity, me doing all sorts of moves to avoid...:D

riveratom

miamee wrote: »

Lol, met a guy a few months ago who kept telling me (before we'd even met) that we were going to be great together. Alarm bells were ringing but having had a bad experience with another ODer recently, decided I needed a date even if it wasn't great. I got there first, nabbed a table (not the one down the back corner as he had instructed, someone sitting there thank feck :rolleyes:). Table with about 4 stools around it, I sit on the couch-type seat. He sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Legs touching. Way too close for comfort. There was a lot of arm rubbing and head patting/rubbing in a 'aren't you so cute & funny' kinda way. He practically got me in a headlock for a kiss in the pub before I decided enough was enough. The place was empty, I'd say the barman had a great laugh looking at the pair of us, him doing his best to touch me at every opportunity, me doing all sorts of moves to avoid...:D

Oh boy I did laugh out loud at that one!!!

Where do these people come from??!! :pac:

stargazer 68

Dovies wrote: »

First ever OD date was a blind date - he was tall, dark and handsome (his words). He was tall! And I think he had about 8 arms - kept touching me all night ughghghghghgh. My first and last blind date!

Well I was sorely tempted to do a runner when he was in the loo. Unfortunately Im just too nice a person to do that! :cool:

miamee

riveratom wrote: »

Oh boy I did laugh out loud at that one!!!

Where do these people come from??!! :pac:

This particular one came from Brazil :pac::pac:

Larianne

cloud_dancer wrote: »

It's kind of about him. It got me thinking that I never really get much further than a few online dates when the spark fizzles out. Maybe that's cause they start falling into the "friendzone" if we haven't had much more than a polite kiss after a few dates. Then I think of my last relationship and the chemistry was amazing. We very nearly ended up in bed together the first night! We did know each other for a while though.

Re the guy I'm not so sure about, he also has a lot of positives. He's a genuinely nice guy and really cares for my welfare. I don't know if I'll ever find someone that ticks all the boxes. I'm 29 now and haven't met someone that does so far. There's always positives and negatives. Perfection doesn't exist.

This is it. Or even just meeting in a pub. Its a much more natural progression. There's so much expectation with online dating - consciously or subconsciously, that, I dunno gets in the way of something actually progressing. That's just my opinion though and experience.

Galvasean

knucklehead6 wrote: »

don't go near the sites for a month, you'll find a fresh outlook, and it works wonders

A month? I'd be bound to make some IRL progression if I did that. Can't be having that now. I want OD to be successful to prove a point! :pac:

But seriously, OD hasn't worked for me in a very long time. I'm not sure what exactly the winds of change have brought about in the last 6 odd months, but I've gone from being reasonably successful in terms of OD to completely and utterly unsuccessful despite not changing my approach. It's like the rules have changed and I find myself on a soccer pitch holding a rugby ball!
I seem to be doing a lot better IRL (and I'm no Charlie Casanova either) these days. Something about me must not translate well into the world of OD. I think on OD people read into things too much and if you don't fit snugly into their various preconceived boxes they don't wanna know ya. Whereas in real life you can meet someone that doesn't fit into every last box, but you don't notice because you're all too busy having fun!

mood

Dovies wrote: »

Where would I start??

First ever OD date was a blind date - he was tall, dark and handsome (his words). He was tall! And I think he had about 8 arms - kept touching me all night ughghghghghgh. My first and last blind date!

Been stood up twice. One guy even had the nerve to text me when I got home to tell me he had changed his mind because he had seen me and decided I wasn't attractive enough for him - even described my 'outfit'. Funny thing was though - it wasn't me he had seen!! Completely different girl! :cool:

I think men rate themselves very generously when it comes to looks. One guy I was in contact with described himself as 'very attractive' in his profile (he had no photo). When he emailed me a photo I thought he was very average. Now, I wouldn't have a problem with a guy being average looking but I thought it was quite arrogant to describe himself as 'very attractive'.

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

I think on OD people read into things too much and if you don't fit snugly into their various preconceived boxes they don't wanna know ya. Whereas in real life you can meet someone that doesn't fit into every last box, but you don't notice because you're all too busy having fun!

I think this is a really, really big issue with OD. You know, people with their tedious, inflexible tick-list of requirements.

Actually, so f*cking what if I'm 5' 11" and not 6ft? Okay then - your loss. Jesus.

However if real life schmoozing is going well, then work away, Charlie Casanova!

Mr_Spaceman

mood wrote: »

I think men rate themselves very generously when it comes to looks. One guy I was in contact with described himself as 'very attractive' in his profile (he had no photo). When he emailed me a photo I thought he was very average. Now, I wouldn't have a problem with a guy being average looking but I thought it was quite arrogant to describe himself as 'very attractive'.

I'm a little surprised by this.

Perhaps that's where I've been going wrong all this time. I should just be an arrogant, conceited tube and announce I'm a bit of a ticket. At least it might land the odd date, because women love a bastard who they reckon they can change, eh?

Seriously though, the term 'attractive' is subjective. I mentioned earlier that 'good-looking' is very different to 'attractive' in my view.

For instance, I'll readily admit I'm average-looking but I am quite an attractive (outwith the quiet, solitary days when I'm down on myself) person with a lot going on.

Mental Mickey

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I think this is a really, really big issue with OD. You know, people with their tedious, inflexible tick-list of requirements.

Actually, so f*cking what if I'm 5' 11" and not 6ft? Okay then - your loss. Jesus.

However if real life schmoozing is going well, then work away, Charlie Casanova!

You're dead right about this. I'm never ever going to get a date either online or in real life purely because I'm a wheelchair user.

People can say stuff like "there's someone out there for everybody" or whatever, but in reality, people don't go for people unless they fit certain "requirements".

ladylost

knucklehead6 wrote: »

don't go near the sites for a month, you'll find a fresh outlook, and it works wonders

sounds like some good advice I might take. Only messers contacting me at the moment. All full on messages for a week or so and then when meeting come up it goes silent!! I'll make the most of Christmas party season maybe

DerekDGoldfish

Mental Mickey wrote: »

You're dead right about this. I'm never ever going to get a date either online or in real life purely because I'm a wheelchair user.

People can say stuff like "there's someone out there for everybody" or whatever, but in reality, people don't go for people unless they fit certain "requirements".

Plenty of wheelchair users have relationships with able bodied people, dont let yourself beleive that nobody would want you.

If you do feel that no able bodied person would date you because you are in a wheelchair (which I dont beleive) then why not try to meet fellow wheelschiars users through clubs and societys?

WN4

Does anyone know of any singles nights taking place for mid-thirties to forties this year?

cloud_dancer

miamee wrote: »

This particular one came from Brazil :pac::pac:

In my experience foreign guys are WAY OTT and full on. Totally the opposite of irish/english guys. Even american guys can be a bit stalkerish.

yeahimhere

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Hard luck. But at least you have had your first OD, and by the sounds of it, enjoyed it.... even if the date didn't work out.

Thanks! It was a little nerve wrecking trying it, but it was good as a first experience

Dermo73 wrote: »

Good to hear it went well even if not ultimately what you're looking for. There's lot's of lovely guys and girls out there but chemistry is hard to find.

Totally agree! Loads of lovely men around & I tend to find attractiveness in personality rather than looks, but chemistry is a must.

riveratom wrote: »

Out of interest are many folks on this here thread heading on Sat?

No plans to as of yet, but just wondering

Half thinking about it now! Nothing else on, so why not?

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

Pity.
If you were even slightly attracted to him, would you be willing to give it a second go, given the good personality?

Well, I always go by the basic rule - can I imagine myself naked with this person at any stage? If it an outright no, or it make me feel uncomfortable...then I won't see them again. If it's anything else, then I would to see what happens

KTRIC

Got canceled on for this evening.... :rolleyes:

Plenty of fish in the sea but none want to stay in my boat.

jaffacakesyum

KTRIC wrote: »

Got canceled on for this evening.... :rolleyes:

Plenty of fish in the sea but none want to stay in my boat.

Ah no

Did she give a reason?

riveratom

Emails stunner on POF....

Silence for the moment....

Casually taps POF icon on phone a day later...

Red 1 message notification thingy in conversations...

Could it be....could it?!

Woooo hot girl replies!!

Blacktie.

Decided to give this whole online dating thing a shot since it's been fairly scarce going in real life. So far it's been scarce. Sent out a few messages and getting very few replies. Very very few! Anyone want to take a look at my profile and see what I can fix up?

Esoteric_

Blacktie. wrote: »

Decided to give this whole online dating thing a shot since it's been fairly scarce going in real life. So far it's been scarce. Sent out a few messages and getting very few replies. Very very few! Anyone want to take a look at my profile and see what I can fix up?

Feel free to send me a PM and I'll have a look if ya like. You're not supposed to ask on thread, though, just in case a mod comes along and sees your post.

DerekDGoldfish

riveratom wrote: »

Emails stunner on POF....

Silence for the moment....

Casually taps POF icon on phone a day later...

Red 1 message notification thingy in conversations...

Could it be....could it?!

Woooo hot girl replies!!

At least it wasnt one of those party invites, the amount of times they have gotten my hopes up only to be dashed.

AnnyHallsal

I deleted my online dating profiles yesterday ...

Because of a guy I followed on Twitter. I knew of him and thought he was the bees knees but had never had any kind of interaction with him. About a week after I joined OK Cupid his profile popped up. I was feverish with excitement and sent a message straight away He replied, we exchanged a few messages. I told him I followed him on Twitter, he said he'd follow me back. He didn't and a few days later I found his account had been deleted

So I thought oh well, nothing ventured nothing gained, got on with dating. Then nearly three weeks ago I replied to a tweet he made about something. A few tweets back and forth and I get a DM asking if we'd been talking on OK Cupid. Progressed to gmail chat and four-hour conversations every day until we finally met a week later. We've had the two most incredible dates of my life, the third is tonight, in a castle He'd deleted his profile cos of a girl he was seeing who moved away after the third date - lucky me :pac:

When I was dating, my biggest bugbear was chemistry. While it's very early days, I'm so thrilled to have had this experience of a mad passionate connection - in conversation and in kissing - with someone.

So keep dating guys - sometimes you just hit the jackpot!

miec

I read an article today which kind of explains a lot of the scams within the Online dating world.
It's big business, so it's in the OD company's interest to keep people subscribed.
They employ pseudo's with pictures taken from other sites to send flirty messages and keep you hooked if you are a paying subscribers.

I must admit until I came across this on the thread I did not know of this practise which indicates to me that free sites (despite all their failings) are better to use.

Re: worst dates, I remember a good few years ago I met this guy for a date, one of the rare times I didn't request a picture, he was okayish looking but we had agreed to go to look at an exhibition in the art gallery, some sort of contemporary thing, he was an arts expert and I just liked looking at it but had a layman's view of it, anyway we are looking at this stuff and I say my views and he gets irritated and sarcastic with me, to the point that after an hour or so he spends more time talking to the staff there than me, so I said to him I am off.

Another date I had was with a man who talked about his ex all night and how he treated her as a princess and she hurt him, he also bragged about his job and I struggled to stay awake.

The scariest date was of a man who pretended to be single but was married, said his wife had schizophrenia, and started talking weird **** about the IRA, guns, etc, I don't want to go into too much detail here but he freaked me out and I felt I needed to extract myself very carefully from him. It was a very long time ago but horrible.

As for best dates, I have had them too. The first guy I ever met online, we went out together for a year, but the first night we met, I felt that pow feeling and so did he and we couldn't wait to go outside of the pub and snog...and I have had other good dates too, actually more good ones than bad.

I've signed up on POF a couple of weeks now but barely log in, maybe once a week if that. I did try the singles dating thing on meetup.com, it was good in one sense in that there was a decent crowd but the venue was ****e so I don't think I will go back unless they change the venue.