The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

YumCha

Worst date was probably one where we went for lunch (I now know that meals for first dates are bad - no escape!). First off he gave me the sloppiest cheek kiss ever (heebie jeebies!), then he spent the whole time asking me questions like, "Do you know what it's like when you meet someone and you instantly fall in love with them, and there's sparks and a connection... do you? do you?"

I sent him a polite message afterwards just letting him know he wasn't my type and wishing him all the best with it. Cue barrage of texts and messages on the site saying he doesn't do well on first dates, and he messed it up, and begging for a second chance... yeuck!

Also today I got a message from a guy which started with "Hi, I know u probably not interested in me because I'm still married..."

I went to look at his profile because I was curious if he was masquerading as a single and his lead pic is of a swimming pool - so I reported him for not having a picture of himself.

He then sends me another message saying "U not like?"

smallgarden

mood wrote: »

I think men rate themselves very generously when it comes to looks. One guy I was in contact with described himself as 'very attractive' in his profile (he had no photo). When he emailed me a photo I thought he was very average. Now, I wouldn't have a problem with a guy being average looking but I thought it was quite arrogant to describe himself as 'very attractive'.

i completely agree with this, i think alot of men think theyre better looking than they are. ive seen similar things on profile like very good looking, handsome etc and based on their pics they are very much average.i think women have a much better idea of how good looking they are


half thinking of heading to meetup later but to be honest id be more nervous going to meetup than on an online date

knucklehead6

smallgarden wrote: »

i completely agree with this, i think alot of men think theyre better looking than they are. ive seen similar things on profile like very good looking, handsome etc and based on their pics they are very much average.i think women have a much better idea of how good looking they are


half thinking of heading to meetup later but to be honest id be more nervous going to meetup than on an online date

Come along. Look at Grames and his missis. They met up at a beers.

And if you come along you can put faces to names.

Esoteric_

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Come along. Look at Grames and his missis. They met up at a beers.

And if you come along you can put faces to names.

That's how Grames and swapple met? Omfg, that is so adorable!

Galvasean

Guys, TGC beers is not a hook up point FYI.
That said, yes Grames and Swapple are a couple thanks to said beers.
Just don't attend with the intent on pulling. You won't have fun and we'll see it a mile away.

Just come along to have fun!
Great atmosphere at these things with lots of nice people to meet n' greet.
I'll bring a dinosaur and leave it on a table near us.


So yeah, online dating. That friend of mine is still going through the men of POF at an alarming rate. I'm pretty sure she's just in it for the free alcohol at this point :rolleyes:

knucklehead6

Galvasean wrote: »

Guys, TGC beers is not a hook up point FYI.
That said, yes Grames and Swapple are a couple thanks to said beers.
Just don't attend with the intent on pulling. You won't have fun and we'll see it a mile away.

Just come along to have fun!
Great atmosphere at these things with lots of nice people to meet n' greet.
I'll bring a dinosaur and leave it on a table near us.


So yeah, online dating. That friend of mine is still going through the men of POF at an alarming rate. I'm pretty sure she's just in it for the free alcohol at this point :rolleyes:

Sorry, just to clarify, I didn't mean to imply it was/is!

Galvasean

smallgarden wrote: »

i completely agree with this, i think alot of men think theyre better looking than they are. ive seen similar things on profile like very good looking, handsome etc and based on their pics they are very much average.i think women have a much better idea of how good looking they are

What I don't get is why they are describing their appearance on their profiles. Surely the pictures speak for themselves?
I must disagree on your final point though. By n' large women are terrible judges in relation to how good they are. I think it's best to let the opposite sex decide how good looking one is. (except for me, I'm deadly and I know it)

sharper

smallgarden wrote: »

i completely agree with this, i think alot of men think theyre better looking than they are. ive seen similar things on profile like very good looking, handsome etc and based on their pics they are very much average.i think women have a much better idea of how good looking they are

Guys that fail to exude confidence are punished severely in the dating game. It's not surprising most err on the side of being too confident.

smallgarden

Galvasean wrote: »

What I don't get is why they are describing their appearance on their profiles. Surely the pictures speak for themselves?
I must disagree on your final point though. By n' large women are terrible judges in relation to how good they are. I think it's best to let the opposite sex decide how good looking one is. (except for me, I'm deadly and I know it)

im not sure why people describe themselves but quite alot of men do. cant say if women do it too or not. if women are bad judgesi think they underestimate whereas men overestimate if that makes sense!

smallgarden

sharper wrote: »

Guys that fail to exude confidence are punished severely in the dating game. It's not surprising most err on the side of being too confident.

id sway away from mentioning shy or quite as a bloke for that exact reason, it will unfortunately put off alot of women! never thought of it that way, based on the profiles in question though i think it was more them thinking they were great than pretend confidence

Galvasean

smallgarden wrote: »

im not sure why people describe themselves but quite alot of men do. cant say if women do it too or not. if women are bad judgesi think they underestimate whereas men overestimate if that makes sense!

Generally, women don't tend to describe themselves in their profiles. Heck, I'm surprised (and embarrassed on behalf of my sex) that so many men do!
Yeah, I think you have a point. From my experience, women underestimate their looks as opposed to overestimate them. The latter is not entirely uncommon, but the former is certainly more common.

GRMA

I didn't describe my looks in my profile because there is a picture? There's no need surely?

Esoteric_

GRMA wrote: »

I didn't describe my looks in my profile because there is a picture? There's no need surely?

Just put up several pictures, each with the tag line 'I'm a bleedin' roide.' That's all you'll need. :pac:

Seriously, why would you describe your looks? 99% of the time, you'll end up sounding either arrogant/cocky or like you're faking some modesty.

sharper

GRMA wrote: »

I didn't describe my looks in my profile because there is a picture? There's no need surely?

Hey some people say stuff like "I'm [age] from [location]" when that's right there on their profile anyway!

(always looks silly when they forget to update their age too!)

Daveysil15

smallgarden wrote: »

i completely agree with this, i think alot of men think theyre better looking than they are. ive seen similar things on profile like very good looking, handsome etc and based on their pics they are very much average.i think women have a much better idea of how good looking they are

I'm not too sure about that. There are plenty of women who think they're gods gift and are looking for Mr Perfect, despite been very average looking themselves. I think a lot of guys tend to describe themselves as athletic even though they may not be in the best of shape.

Esoteric_

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'm not too sure about that. There are plenty of women who think they're gods gift and are looking for Mr Perfect, despite been very average looking themselves. I think a lot of guys tend to describe themselves as athletic even though they may not be in the best of shape.

Maybe they mean athletic in the sense that they enjoy exercise? I wouldn't describe myself as athletic in case somebody took that to mean I'm thin and toned, 'cause I'm chubby and have a stomach :pac: but at the same time, I'm athletic in that I adore exercise and am always out walking/running/doing archery.

So maybe they mean they are an athletic person, rather than an athletic body type?

GRMA

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Maybe they mean athletic in the sense that they enjoy exercise? I wouldn't describe myself as athletic in case somebody took that to mean I'm thin and toned, 'cause I'm chubby and have a stomach :pac: but at the same time, I'm athletic in that I adore exercise and am always out walking/running/doing archery.

So maybe they mean they are an athletic person, rather than an athletic body type?

I reckon you're right, alot of people might say athletic and mean that they have an active lifestyle.

knucklehead6

I walk my dogs at least once, I not twice a day. I play football twice a week and cycle up there. Try to go out for a run with the dogs at least every few days. That DOESN'T always happen though!!

I don't describe myself as athletic, even though others would regard that as a fairly athletic lifestyle.

I describe myself as average. Have a small bit of a belly, am no brad pitt but am no Quasi-modo either.

Daveysil15

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Maybe they mean athletic in the sense that they enjoy exercise? I wouldn't describe myself as athletic in case somebody took that to mean I'm thin and toned, 'cause I'm chubby and have a stomach :pac: but at the same time, I'm athletic in that I adore exercise and am always out walking/running/doing archery.

So maybe they mean they are an athletic person, rather than an athletic body type?

Well Sumo wrestlers are active and get excercise but I wouldn't exactly call them athletic ha. You can be fit without having an athletic body, but the description is body type, not cardiovascular fitness.

So you like a bit of archery ehh? I hope you don't bring the bow and arrow with you on dates. It could be a bit intimadating, unless you're playing cupid. :pac:

Esoteric_

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Well Sumo wrestlers are active and get excercise but I wouldn't exactly call them athletic ha. You can be fit without having an athletic body, but the description is body type, not cardiovascular fitness.

So you like a bit of archery ehh? I hope you don't bring the bow and arrow with you on dates. It could be a bit intimadating, unless you're playing cupid. :pac:

I know that, and you know that, but they might not know that!

Oh no, I whip that out when I bring them home with me, and only sleep with them if they can hit a 10 pointer on the target in my garden. :pac:

Daveysil15

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I know that, and you know that, but they might not know that!

Oh no, I whip that out when I bring them home with me, and only sleep with them if they can hit a 10 pointer on the target in my garden. :pac:

<<<Begins practising. I'm gonna get lessons of Rambo. :cool:

knucklehead6

Oh get a room you two.

One with space for an archery target!

Esoteric_

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Oh get a room you two.

One with space for an archery target!

Ah here now, I didn't get involved with any flirtation 'cause I prefer not being infracted. :pac:

GRMA

How much do people generally exchange messages for before asking to meet?

Daveysil15

GRMA wrote: »

How much do people generally exchange messages for before asking to meet?

We discussed this before. There is no general rule. It depends on the person. I know from own experience whenever I've asked someone on a date I usually get the, "I don't know you well enough yet" response - even though we may have been chatting for a few days. It's up to yourself to judge how well the conversation is going and then ask when you feel its right. They can only say yes or no, in my case its usually no!

miamee

Daveysil15 wrote: »

We discussed this before. There is no general rule. It depends on the person. I know from own experience whenever I've asked someone on a date I usually get the, "I don't know you well enough yet" response - even though we may have been chatting for a few days. It's up to yourself to judge how well the conversation is going and then ask when you feel its right. They can only say yes or no, in my case its usually no!

I find though that you could be chatting to someone for a while without them ever revealing anything about themselves that makes you feel you 'know' them.
It's different for everyone though, I suppose once you feel you genuinely want to meet this person IRL is a good time to ask, not 'feck it, I've been mailing this person long enough, can't be bothered any more, let's meet up'.
That's just me though, any relationships I have had from OD (a few) have come from getting to know each other to the point we are excited to meet up, not just looking to go out on a date with someone/anyone. That's the way it works for me anyway, most on here wouldn't agree

hollypink

Ugh just got a message from someone looking for NSA specifically on Sunday mornings. Of course his profile says he is single :rolleyes:

Weirdly, leaving that aside, it's one of the better messages I've gotten in a while (references to stuff on my profile and an interest we have in common).

Daveysil15

hollypink wrote: »

Ugh just got a message from someone looking for NSA specifically on Sunday mornings. Of course his profile says he is single :rolleyes:

That's probably when he gets his morning wood after been unsuccessful Saturday night.

Ah, POF, how I missed thee... especially since half the guys contacting me are old friends at this stage who only wanna say "Haha!"

knucklehead6

budgese wrote: »

Ah, POF, how I missed thee... especially since half the guys contacting me are old friends at this stage who only wanna say "Haha!"

It's not always haha. Sometimes they just want to say welcome back!!