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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**
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As you probably read I just joined a few days ago and I've found it very good so far. I felt the exact same about the picture but there's no point signing up without a picture. Felt much better after one girl complimented it!Well I've finally stopped hmming and hawing and I joined an online dating website! It's taken me ages but after lurking around on this thread for a while and learning about peoples experiences, I finally took the step.
Even tho I wasn't a 100% comfortable doing this, I uploaded a photo. For some reason I'm freaked at the idea that someone I know could see it? Am I just being irrational about this!? Its also making me wary of filling in my profile too much (ok now I know I'm irrational but this is whats in my head!!) And I know, everyone who is on those sites is looking for something similar so there is no need to be shy or embarrassed, but I feel a bit exposed!
I joined OKCupid and I just have a few questions (sorry in advance if they seem silly)
1) If someone messages you and you're not especially attracted to them, should you message them back or just ignore it?
2) When you message someone, what should you say. Is "hey how are you" enough, or should you try and personalise the message to them in some way? I haven't messaged anyone myself yet and its coming up with what to say that's putting me off...
As for people you know seeing it, you could always say to them you just signed up for the laugh cause you were bored, but there's nothing to be embarrassed about either.
As for messaging I've been writing to people and talking about stuff they have in their profile, so yeah, personalise it.
Good luck!
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I agree with all the above.
it's bloody soul destroying to get a message back from someone you have messaged to say "naaah"
I prefer the non response at this stage. And that's one good thing about OKC, it stores the last date contacted, which will stop you re-messaging someone you never got a response from.0 -
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Handy feature that. Usually I'll give a profile that I messaged 2 weeks and if they haven't replied to me by then I click the 'hide' button. That way my searches are not a constant reminder of all the girls who dismissed me.
If you think 2 weeks seems like a long time, I'd agree, but on more than one occasion on OKC I have received a reply a full month after the initial mail. that said though, in such situations it never goes any further than the single response.
That's a great feature! Pof really needs to have something like that, too many reminders of rejection and weirdos on there There really has been times where I can't remember if I've messaged somebody before or not.
So has anybody been dating it up this weekend?? I have a date tomorrow night cue the nerves about 2pm tomorrow
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Tchaikovsky wrote: »I had one last night; in hindsight dinner is a bad choice for a first date, but it went well. 6 hours chatting can't be too bad!
Best of luck for tomorrow
That's cool, will you be seeing eachother again? Don't think I'd be brave enough for a dinner date for the first one. What if you just didn't click, very awkward sitting through dinner especially if they wanted starter, main and dessert! You'd be praying the service was fast 0 -
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Haha, that's true!That's cool, will you be seeing eachother again? Don't think I'd be brave enough for a dinner date for the first one. What if you just didn't click, very awkward sitting through dinner especially if they wanted starter, main and dessert! You'd be praying the service was fast
But I know I'm easy to talk to and I like finding out about people, so even if it's evident that there isn't a romantic possibility, at least you had a nice evening out and got to learn a little about someone else.
We both agreed to see each other again fairly soon, yup 0 -
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Mr_Spaceman wrote: »Just thinking out loud here but - I'm beginning to feel the Irish dimension lends itself better than other places where OD is concerned.
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The sad thing is you'd think OD would be a dream in a city this size, too.
But I'm sure it can't be a bad thing, being Irish in London?
The buhhds laaav the accent, init? 0 -
Tchaikovsky wrote: »But I'm sure it can't be a bad thing, being Irish in London?
The buhhds laaav the accent, init?
You would think so, but, sadly, not in my experience.
I mean, there was me thinking my James Nesbitt-style velvet tones were irresistible. How naive could I be!0 -
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As some of you know I have been out of the dating game for 8 months or so. Not eager to jump back in but out of curiosity I logged on over the weekend. Instantly had 2 messages - 'looking for some fun' - eh no!
But most of the people online were the same ones I saw eight months ago - now nothing wrong with that as Im back but there doesn't seem to be any change in the people - maybe I just caught an off day!
But anyway think I will resign myself to just me and my cat for now!
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But most of the people online were the same ones I saw eight months ago - now nothing wrong with that as Im back but there doesn't seem to be any change in the people - maybe I just caught an off day!
But anyway think I will resign myself to just me and my cat for now!
It is kinda weird, when you come back from an extended break from the sites and you see the same people, with the same profiles.
BUT they could have been dating all this time, meeting up with people, having a couple of dates and then realising that the people they were dating were not quite right for them.
It is somewhat disconcerting though, coming back, seeing the same faces, and some of those are faces that you might have messaged. And then wondering why are they still here!! :-D0 -
But most of the people online were the same ones I saw eight months ago - now nothing wrong with that as Im back but there doesn't seem to be any change in the people - maybe I just caught an off day!
But anyway think I will resign myself to just me and my cat for now!
I was thinking about this. What if some people are just meant to be single?
I actually think in many or most cases, it would be best if people just accepted that they are single and that there is a possibility that that is the way things will remain. I know I pretty much have, and am pretty ok with it!!0 -
I was thinking about this. What if some people are just meant to be single?
I actually think in many or most cases, it would be best if people just accepted that they are single and that there is a possibility that that is the way things will remain. I know I pretty much have, and am pretty ok with it!!
There's a difference between resigned, reluctant, forced acceptance of a fact, and acceptance of a current status though.
I'm not overly happy being single, but I do accept it.
I would like to have someone to share life's ups and downs with, but i can deal with the fact that i don't.
Having said that, last month i had much the same outlook as you, I'm single and I know it and i'm happy with it.... and next month i could have that very same outlook again!
This month though, this month it's "No, it's not ok, but i can live with it" outlook... 0 -
knucklehead6 wrote: »Having said that, last month i had much the same outlook as you, I'm single and I know it and i'm happy with it.... and next month i could have that very same outlook again!
This month though, this month it's "No, it's not ok, but i can live with it" outlook...
Yep. Right now Im at the 'sod em, Im better off on my own'. But give it a couple of months and I will be fed up being on my own! :rolleyes:0 -
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Date with a lovely Polish lass on Saturday
Thing is I'm 23 and she's 19, does anyone think its a bit much of a gap?
The reason I'm wondering is for some reason I seem to think it's not worth dating anyone in the 19-21 bracket. It's like I think that meeting them at that age, for them a relationship would never last, that maybe their a bit young and by the time their in their early twenties they'll have a different outlook. But yet I think if it was someone of 22/23 or older things would have a better chance. I dunno its like I'd think they'd have more life experience and have a better idea of who they are and what they want.
But then again everyone is different. Am I completely over thinking this stuff? Should I just go with the flow?
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Date with a lovely Polish lass on Saturday
Thing is I'm 23 and she's 19, does anyone think its a bit much of a gap?
The reason I'm wondering is for some reason I seem to think it's not worth dating anyone in the 19-21 bracket. It's like I think that meeting them at that age, for them a relationship would never last, that maybe their a bit young and by the time their in their early twenties they'll have a different outlook. But yet I think if it was someone of 22/23 or older things would have a better chance.
But then again everyone is different. Am I completely over thinking this stuff? Should I just go with the flow?
GO WITH THE FLOW!!!!
4 years is NOTHING in terms of age gap.
Also remember, our eastern european brethren tend to get married a bit earlier than then norm here in Ireland.
Out of the 10 Eastern women in the office here, there is only 1 not marrried. And they are all under 30. Most of them are under 25!0 -
Date with a lovely Polish lass on Saturday
Thing is I'm 23 and she's 19, does anyone think its a bit much of a gap?
The reason I'm wondering is for some reason I seem to think it's not worth dating anyone in the 19-21 bracket. It's like I think that meeting them at that age, for them a relationship would never last, that maybe their a bit young and by the time their in their early twenties they'll have a different outlook. But yet I think if it was someone of 22/23 or older things would have a better chance. I dunno its like I'd think they'd have more life experience and have a better idea of who they are and what they want.
But then again everyone is different. Am I completely over thinking this stuff? Should I just go with the flow?
It's only 4 years, it's not that bad!
That said, I'm 23 and I will no longer date someone under 23. I've dated a few people who were two years younger than me and I find that people at that age (in general, I might be tarring people with one brush here!) don't want the hassle of a relationship, at least from my experience. That may just be because I'm female though. I know plenty of 19-21 year old girls who are all for getting into a relationship.
A date won't kill ya, may as well see what she's like!0 -
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