The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

smallgarden

Dovies wrote: »

But most of the people online were the same ones I saw eight months ago - now nothing wrong with that as Im back but there doesn't seem to be any change in the people - maybe I just caught an off day! (

im getting the impression from people that if online for awhile you should have found someone or left the site. some people seem to think people should just settle for whats out there. i personally would prefer to be single than settle for someone just for the sake of it. i stay online as i find it gives me more hope as havent met anyone irl recently. maybe i am destined to be single but at least im trying
ps im not one of those fussy i think im great kinds either. im average looking so just feel alot of men think they can do better

KTRIC

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Isn't half your age + 7 the general rule. : )

Go for it. Nobody knows what's going to happen tomorrow let alone in 3 months/6 months/a year. Ask her out on a second date, you've nothing to lose.

Ah is it ??

I have a date with a 21 year old later. I'm fairly apprehensive to be honest. We get on really well but lets just say she doesn't fit into the half my age + 7 bracket :rolleyes:

Esoteric_

Instead of going for age 'rules,' why not just accept that we're all adults and there's no harm in seeing people of any age, at least once, to see what they're like?

miamee

KTRIC wrote: »

Ah is it ??

I have a date with a 21 year old later. I'm fairly apprehensive to be honest. We get on really well but lets just say she doesn't fit into the half my age + 7 bracket :rolleyes:

Sure if you get on well, you will have a fun night anyway! Never mind the age thing, 21 is old enough.

knucklehead6

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Instead of going for age 'rules,' why not just accept that we're all adults and there's no harm in seeing people of any age, at least once, to see what they're like?

Unfortunately society in general doesn't quite have the same enlightened viewpoint.

A significantly younger woman with a middle aged man will always raise eyebrows, and will always have people (subconsciously) thinking she could be a bit of a gold digger, and he's a silly old man having a mid life crisis!

Herrick

Ok thanks all, I'll give it a go and see how we get on

As long as she she doesn't cancel between then and now :pac:

KTRIC

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Unfortunately society in general doesn't quite have the same enlightened viewpoint.

A significantly younger woman with a middle aged man will always raise eyebrows, and will always have people (subconsciously) thinking she could be a bit of a gold digger, and he's a silly old man having a mid life crisis!

Hey, less of the middle aged would ya :rolleyes:

Not quite at that point yet :cool:

Meauldsegosha

KTRIC wrote: »

Ah is it ??

I have a date with a 21 year old later. I'm fairly apprehensive to be honest. We get on really well but lets just say she doesn't fit into the half my age + 7 bracket :rolleyes:

Rules were made to be broken : ). You get on really well so go on the date. As I said to the other poster we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.

Esoteric_

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Unfortunately society in general doesn't quite have the same enlightened viewpoint.

A significantly younger woman with a middle aged man will always raise eyebrows, and will always have people (subconsciously) thinking she could be a bit of a gold digger, and he's a silly old man having a mid life crisis!

Yeah but anything even a little out of the ordinary raises eyebrows. My tattoos raise eyebrows, and they're pretty commonplace now and I'm not covered in them. If you're seriouly thin, it raises eyebrows, if you're fat it raises eyebrows.

You can't please everyone, so please yourself.

Plus, I think the age gaps we're talking about here are mid 20s + late teens/young adults and 30s + 20s. It's not that big a gap, really. It's not like the users here are 50-odd going on dates with 18 year olds.

If someone raised an eyebrow seeing me dating the 33 year old I was seeing for a while earlier in the year, I'd find it ridiculous. 10 or so years isn't that much of an age gap once you're an adult. It's more emotional maturity and your place/goals in life that cause problems, not your specific year of birth.

knucklehead6

KTRIC wrote: »

Hey, less of the middle aged would ya :rolleyes:

Not quite at that point yet :cool:

i said significantly younger!

by the rule of thumb 29 is too old for a 21 yr old. So if you are 29 you miss out on that criteria. According the the rule of thumb.

Esoteric_

knucklehead6 wrote: »

i said significantly younger!

by the rule of thumb 29 is too old for a 21 yr old. So if you are 29 you miss out on that criteria. According the the rule of thumb.

Really? 8 years is too much of a gap? Maybe I'm weird, but if someone actually believes that, I'd imagine they're missing out on potentially great relationships.

Why does age matter all that much (to people here, not people in general)? Surely emotional maturity and things like that are more important?

knucklehead6

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Really? 8 years is too much of a gap? Maybe I'm weird, but if someone actually believes that, I'd imagine they're missing out on potentially great relationships.

Why does age matter all that much (to people here, not people in general)? Surely emotional maturity and things like that are more important?

Good god no!! If a relationship is working then who gives a flying fiddlers fcuk what ages the couple involved are!!

knucklehead6

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Really? 8 years is too much of a gap? Maybe I'm weird, but if someone actually believes that, I'd imagine they're missing out on potentially great relationships.

Why does age matter all that much (to people here, not people in general)? Surely emotional maturity and things like that are more important?

I was saying that to highlight how ridiculous a rule of thumb is.

Cravez

Haven't browsed this thread in ages

Exactly one year ago today, I went on a date with a girl which we made contact via POF. As of today, we are still together, things are going great and we are even now living together (plus a kitty )

Originally, as I stated in a previous post here, I never thought id end up in this situation where I would have a great girlfriend because of my (then) lack of confidence, but life is good at the moment

Good luck to all!

Esoteric_

I'm a little weirded out, guys.

I haven't used any OD site in a month or two, and was only using them for about 6 months tops anyway.

Two guys have found my profile on a completely obscure American site I use. One messaged me on it (my photos are completely different to my OD pics, my screen name different to ones I have on any other site, etc), which was fine.

The other is messaging me on it, to complain that I never went on a date with him. :eek: He was trying to say I had, I pointed out that I know the names of everyone I went on dates with and he wasn't one of them. Turns out it's a guy who was REALLY pushy with me, so I tried to avoid him and he kept messaging me on POF, right up til the time I deleted my account, including making new profiles.

I have no idea how he (or the other, normal guy!) managed to figure out I was on that site. It's a REALLY obscure site, very small userbase, and I've never, ever mentioned it to anyone I know, bar one close friend.

What's even more worrying is, the same guy found me on ANOTHER site I use, another American site. This site would be more well known, and I do moderation and admin work on it, but still, it's not a site I've ever mentioned to him!

I've given him a full site ban from the site I admin on (thankfully the rules regarding banning on that site are lax, I can ban someone simply for píssing me off, if I want to), but he's found those two sites I'm on, which nobody knows I'm actually on. It's really freaking me out! I have absolutely no idea how he got them. My accounts on both sites are set so that you have to be a member to even find me in a search, and I've absolutely never mentioned them before, I never do, so I'm really freaked out that he found me.

Daveysil15

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Just thinking out loud here but - I'm beginning to feel the Irish dimension lends itself better than other places where OD is concerned.

Reading between the lines, it seems most people on here are getting some kind of contact, dates and whatnot. Things might not always work out but there seems to be something resembling dates for most to look forward to at least.

Galvasean wrote: »

Well, I'm right in the thick of things here in Dublin and have gotten virtually no contact in the last ages. As far as I can tell I'm in the same boat as you, ie: a farcically low rate of reply to messages.

I would imagine OD is not working for the majority of people. There are plenty of people using it who don't post here. The success stories have been few. You're certainly not alone.

Herrick wrote: »

Date with a lovely Polish lass on Saturday

Forget about the age. Just remember she's a lovely Polish lass. Nothing else matters.

finipops

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I'm a little weirded out, guys.

I haven't used any OD site in a month or two, and was only using them for about 6 months tops anyway.

Two guys have found my profile on a completely obscure American site I use. One messaged me on it (my photos are completely different to my OD pics, my screen name different to ones I have on any other site, etc), which was fine.

The other is messaging me on it, to complain that I never went on a date with him. :eek: He was trying to say I had, I pointed out that I know the names of everyone I went on dates with and he wasn't one of them. Turns out it's a guy who was REALLY pushy with me, so I tried to avoid him and he kept messaging me on POF, right up til the time I deleted my account, including making new profiles.

I have no idea how he (or the other, normal guy!) managed to figure out I was on that site. It's a REALLY obscure site, very small userbase, and I've never, ever mentioned it to anyone I know, bar one close friend.

What's even more worrying is, the same guy found me on ANOTHER site I use, another American site. This site would be more well known, and I do moderation and admin work on it, but still, it's not a site I've ever mentioned to him!

I've given him a full site ban from the site I admin on (thankfully the rules regarding banning on that site are lax, I can ban someone simply for píssing me off, if I want to), but he's found those two sites I'm on, which nobody knows I'm actually on. It's really freaking me out! I have absolutely no idea how he got them. My accounts on both sites are set so that you have to be a member to even find me in a search, and I've absolutely never mentioned them before, I never do, so I'm really freaked out that he found me.

Email address perhaps? Maybe they used that or maybe you gave out too much information?

Esoteric_

finipops wrote: »

Email address perhaps? Maybe they used that or maybe you gave out too much information?

I use separate email addresses for every social networking type site I use, and didn't actually give any of them any information about me, because I was trying to avoid one because he was pushy and downright creepy, and the other I just wasn't into. :eek:

smileyj1987

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I'm a little weirded out, guys.

I haven't used any OD site in a month or two, and was only using them for about 6 months tops anyway.

Two guys have found my profile on a completely obscure American site I use. One messaged me on it (my photos are completely different to my OD pics, my screen name different to ones I have on any other site, etc), which was fine.

The other is messaging me on it, to complain that I never went on a date with him. :eek: He was trying to say I had, I pointed out that I know the names of everyone I went on dates with and he wasn't one of them. Turns out it's a guy who was REALLY pushy with me, so I tried to avoid him and he kept messaging me on POF, right up til the time I deleted my account, including making new profiles.

I have no idea how he (or the other, normal guy!) managed to figure out I was on that site. It's a REALLY obscure site, very small userbase, and I've never, ever mentioned it to anyone I know, bar one close friend.

What's even more worrying is, the same guy found me on ANOTHER site I use, another American site. This site would be more well known, and I do moderation and admin work on it, but still, it's not a site I've ever mentioned to him!

I've given him a full site ban from the site I admin on (thankfully the rules regarding banning on that site are lax, I can ban someone simply for píssing me off, if I want to), but he's found those two sites I'm on, which nobody knows I'm actually on. It's really freaking me out! I have absolutely no idea how he got them. My accounts on both sites are set so that you have to be a member to even find me in a search, and I've absolutely never mentioned them before, I never do, so I'm really freaked out that he found me.

Do you log in on mobile devices like your phone or do you use a specific computer or Laptop ?

Esoteric_

smileyj1987 wrote: »

Do you log in on mobile devices like your phone or do you use a specific computer or Laptop ?

No mobile log in, I use a specific laptop, though.

smallgarden

could he have used the reverse google image search thing?

Esoteric_

smallgarden wrote: »

could he have used the reverse google image search thing?

Hmm, possibly. I no longer have the same photos on those sites as I had on my POF account, but I'm sure I had one or two that were on both sites at some point.

Damn, this is creepy.

sharper

LyndaMcL wrote: »

so I'm really freaked out that he found me.

Unfortunately for people with the right skillset, too much free time and no sense of personal boundaries many people's internet associations are wide open. I can't say exactly how he linked you across various sites but you should always assume it's possible.

It may be a small site but that doesn't mean google ignores it. It may well be that googling certain phrases brings up your posts in multiple places or something suitably specific like a link you posted on multiple sites.

I mostly try to make sure that people can't find me on the internet rather than make sure internet people can't find me in real life. It was still a bit of a surprise when someone was able to tell me my place of work, though she meant well in the sense she liked to find out what she could about people and she figured it was something I should know could be tracked down.

smallgarden

is it me or have the number of cooooook photos and people looking for a 'good time' increased massively of late on pof

sharper

smallgarden wrote: »

is it me or have the number of cooooook photos and people looking for a 'good time' increased massively of late on pof

It's winter, when else are guys supposed to air out their privates if not online and at random?

I'd say it's down to most people figuring they're not going to start a relationship in 2012 so may as well coast through the next few months.

smileyj1987

LyndaMcL wrote: »

No mobile log in, I use a specific laptop, though.

I would suggest getting a MAC Address changer and using a proxy website so if he is tracking you by I.P. Address this could stop him . I would only really use the proxy one browser so if you chrome use that for everything else and when you want to go on the OD sites use firefox or a different browser . If you need any assistance PM me .

knucklehead6

Seriously AF, STOP with the freaking broadcast messages!!

Or at least warn people that they are sending a message to any user in their preferred search.

KTRIC

I don't know why I didn't follow my gut feeling on this one. I had a niggling feeling something was wrong all day with the date this evening. Turns out I was very right. She is close mates with my c*nt of an ex !! Little did I know

Herrick

KTRIC wrote: »

I don't know why I didn't follow my gut feeling on this one. I had a niggling feeling something was wrong all day with the date this evening. Turns out I was very right. She is close mates with my c*nt of an ex !! Little did I know

So do you reckon your ex put her up to it or something?

I mean if they are close friends would your date not have known you?

Esoteric_

KTRIC wrote: »

I don't know why I didn't follow my gut feeling on this one. I had a niggling feeling something was wrong all day with the date this evening. Turns out I was very right. She is close mates with my c*nt of an ex !! Little did I know

Did she know you used to date your ex? If she did, she's either messing with your head, or REALLY lacking in friendship and loyalty towards your ex, neither of which bode well for you!