The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

knucklehead6

Dovies wrote: »

I have been to one beers - great night. However, I found a lot of people already know each other and there are a lot of 'in jokes' on the thread before and after the meetup. It can be a bit daunting if you have never been before!

There will always be 'in' jokes when meeting a new crowd for the first time. Even when meeting a partners friends for the first time there will be references to something that happened in their past. Admittedly, it is a LOT worse when turning up to a boards beers by yourself, and suddenly being confronted with 3D versions of previously anonymous usernames!!

grames_bond

Dovies wrote: »

I have been to one beers - great night. However, I found a lot of people already know each other and there are a lot of 'in jokes' on the thread before and after the meetup. It can be a bit daunting if you have never been before!

I wouldn't think it would be more daunting then going on date with someone you spoke to online! Less pressure with a boards beers! We are all lovely people!

stargazer 68

grames_bond wrote: »

I wouldn't think it would be more daunting then going on date with someone you spoke to online! Less pressure with a boards beers! We are all lovely people!

Meeting one stranger is easy - meeting 20 is different!

LittleFox

Galvasean wrote: »

Haha. A couple of them were asking me about you on Haloween weekend. My lips were sealed!

Ha I'm really interested in knowing who was asking I always answer any questions and sure they know that's how I met the exs.

Ammsy500

Had my date the other night, really nice guy had a nice time but just no chemistry at all. Another 6 months and I may go on another

Esoteric_

Micky 32 wrote: »

But i'm guessing nothing has come out of them though? I'll be honest, with OD i have gone to the stage where i go, oh here we go again why do i bother.

Actually, I was in a relationship for a while after one of said lovely dates.

knucklehead6

Ammsy500 wrote: »

Had my date the other night, really nice guy had a nice time but just no chemistry at all. Another 6 months and I may go on another

There is a certain (may the internet lords forgive me for using this phrase) x factor that is required. The chemistry may be there, the personality may be there, the looks may be there, but there is still an undefinable element needed to make it work.

I wouldn't go waiting 6 months though!! ;)

riveratom

Chatting away to a girl the past day or so, going great and lots in common....

Wonder should I suggest a date or too soon?!??

Kinda want to strike while the iron is hot, so to speak.

knucklehead6

riveratom wrote: »

Chatting away to a girl the past day or so, going great and lots in common....

Wonder should I suggest a date or too soon?!??

Kinda want to strike while the iron is hot, so to speak.

the only one who can answer that is you.

each person i've been chatting to has 'felt' different.

some, you just KNOW that you want to meet them, and that they want to meet you.

Others, it might take a bit more time.

ViveLaVie

For the people who are fed up with going on OD dates and never having them amount to anything substantial...

Would you not agree that RL is the same? You could easily meet just as many potential partners in reality but have it go nowhere as well...

knucklehead6

ViveLaVie wrote: »

For the people who are fed up with going on OD dates and never having them amount to anything substantial...

Would you not agree that RL is the same? You could easily meet just as many potential partners in reality but have it go nowhere as well...

Personally, i find it a lot easier to approach someone in OD world than go up to some randomer in a bar in 3D world.

In online dating, someone ignoring my mails or initial approach is water off a ducks back.
In 3D world, I would feel a little bit embarrassed. When people get to know me, I'm fairly chatty etc, but initially i can be quite shy, to the point of reticence.

The last 3 women I've met up with have been 2 cases where I would have liked to take it further, one where we both knew there was nothing, not even a glimmer of a hint of a spark.

The 2 where i would have liked it to go further didn't happen, for different reasons, but ultimately it was the woman involved who said no.

Cue feeling a little bit confused and a little bit hurt, as both had seemed full of promise, but I was back looking at the sites within a day in each case. If either of them had happened exclusively in 3D world, i wouldn't have been going to a bar that night to see if i could meet up with someone!!

Galvasean

knucklehead6 wrote: »

There's not really a whole pile can be done about that though.
What would you (REALLY) prefer? to be regarded as a nice guy or to be a prick that some woman thinks she has to fix?

It's not an either/or situation though (well, it dam well shouldn't be anyway).

ViveLaVie wrote: »

For the people who are fed up with going on OD dates and never having them amount to anything substantial...

Would you not agree that RL is the same? You could easily meet just as many potential partners in reality but have it go nowhere as well...

I would agree with that. In terms of online dating however, it feels more 'concentrated' if you know what I mean.

knucklehead6

Galvasean wrote: »

It's not an either/or situation though (well, it dam well shouldn't be anyway).

I would agree with that. In terms of online dating however, it feels more 'concentrated' if you know what I mean.

At the end of the day, it's up to the 2 people involved to know if there is a spark. If one isn't feeling that all encompassing lust, but does have some level of affection towards the other, then sometimes the "You're a nice guy-girl/Not for me/ not looking for anything serious right now" is the easiest way of letting people down gently.

I really don't think that anyone who posts on this thread is on the sites to hurt people.

LittleFox

So has anyone come across the gorgeous but quite fake fireman on pof? fireman calender type picture, topless. I can't believe when some people are called on the lie they keep denying it.
I replied to him asking if he had any other pics and he sent another one of a different model in bed with his arms wrapped around a pillow they didn't even look like the same person When asked for a pic of him fully clothed there was no reply suprisingly .

GRMA

Having a bit of a weird one guys, was messaging this girl who suggested that we should meet up, I was working up to asking her anyway so happy days I thought, so I said yeah. She wanted to meet tomorrow (she asked yesterday afternoon) but I told her I couldnt as I had to go to a funeral, she seemed a bit put out by this because it was her only day off, asked if I knew the person well and if I had to go? (!?) Told her I did as its a relation of a close friend. Got a snarky "fine then" message and that as the end of it or so I thought.

This morning she added me on facebook despite me never telling her my full name or giving her a link, I think she did that reverse image search thing.

Bit weirded out tbh, I blocked her on both sites is there anything else I should do do you reckon?

knucklehead6

GRMA wrote: »

Having a bit of a weird one guys, was messaging this girl who suggested that we should meet up, I was working up to asking her anyway so happy days I thought, so I said yeah. She wanted to meet tomorrow (she asked yesterday afternoon) but I told her I couldnt as I had to go to a funeral, she seemed a bit put out by this because it was her only day off, asked if I knew the person well and if I had to go? (!?) Told her I did as its a relation of a close friend. Got a snarky "fine then" message and that as the end of it or so I thought.

This morning she added me on facebook despite me never telling her my full name or giving her a link, I think she did that reverse image search thing.

Bit weirded out tbh, I blocked her on both sites is there anything else I should do do you reckon?

Lock up your bunny rabbits, for safe keeping!

miamee

GRMA, that should hopefully be enough but maybe only use pics on OD from now on that you don't have on facebook or any other social network profiles? Must check that myself actually...

Some people seem to think it's absolutely fine to add on FB but personally I would run a mile. I know everyone I am friends with on Facebook and a lot of them are family so there is no way I am letting any randomers on there no matter how nice they seem

knucklehead6

miamee wrote: »

GRMA, that should hopefully be enough but maybe only use pics on OD from now on that you don't have on facebook or any other social network profiles? Must check that myself actually...

Some people seem to think it's absolutely fine to add on FB but personally I would run a mile. I know everyone I am friends with on Facebook and a lot of them are family so there is no way I am letting any randomers on there no matter how nice they seem

i can take or leave the FB thing to be honest. I have only added one girl on FB before meeting her. Any others have been added afterwards. If it doesn't work out, then we either keep in touch as friends or not. If we keep in touch, i see no harm in staying as FB friends. If not, there's the magic unfriend button.

miamee

knucklehead6 wrote: »

i can take or leave the FB thing to be honest. I have only added one girl on FB before meeting her. Any others have been added afterwards. If it doesn't work out, then we either keep in touch as friends or not. If we keep in touch, i see no harm in staying as FB friends. If not, there's the magic unfriend button.

That's very true, I just don't like the idea of someone I have yet to meet or even get to know properly having a good old nose through my photos from the past 5 years of my life and checking out all my family/friends' profiles as well.

Not saying they would do that, I'm just not giving them the opportunity until I'm ok with them nosing around

Honey-ec

GRMA wrote: »

This morning she added me on facebook despite me never telling her my full name or giving her a link, I think she did that reverse image search thing.

Bit weirded out tbh, I blocked her on both sites is there anything else I should do do you reckon?

miamee wrote: »

GRMA, that should hopefully be enough but maybe only use pics on OD from now on that you don't have on facebook or any other social network profiles? Must check that myself actually...

I'm pretty sure that Tineye doesn't return Facebook profiles, tbh.

Edit: I've just checked, and it definitely doesn't.

GRMA

Honey-ec wrote: »

I'm pretty sure that Tineye doesn't return Facebook profiles, tbh.

Edit: I've just checked, and it definitely doesn't.

No the google images one, tried my picture there and it returned my facebook page

http://support.google.com/images/bin/answer.py?hl=en&p=searchbyimagepage&answer=1325808

knucklehead6

Honey-ec wrote: »

I'm pretty sure that Tineye doesn't return Facebook profiles, tbh.

Edit: I've just checked, and it definitely doesn't.

Google images used do, but i don't have access to FB at work so can't confirm that they've stopped that.

Honey-ec

GRMA wrote: »

No the google images one, tried my picture there and it returned my facebook page

http://support.google.com/images/bin/answer.py?hl=en&p=searchbyimagepage&answer=1325808

Fair enough, but very few people use the Google one, ime.

knucklehead6

Honey-ec wrote: »

Fair enough, but very few people use the Google one, ime.

Serious?? I would have used the google one before tinyeye.
I'd doubt that i'm the only one too.

miamee

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Serious?? I would have used the google one before tinyeye.
I'd doubt that i'm the only one too.

Me too - sure there are probably more than the two of those (tineye & google reverse image search) out there too. Where there's a will, there's a way!

Galvasean

LittleFox wrote: »

So has anyone come across the gorgeous but quite fake fireman on pof? fireman calender type picture, topless. I can't believe when some people are called on the lie they keep denying it.
I replied to him asking if he had any other pics and he sent another one of a different model in bed with his arms wrapped around a pillow they didn't even look like the same person When asked for a pic of him fully clothed there was no reply suprisingly .

Well, firemen don't make as much as they used to... perhaps he can't afford clothes?

GRMA wrote: »

Having a bit of a weird one guys, was messaging this girl who suggested that we should meet up, I was working up to asking her anyway so happy days I thought, so I said yeah. She wanted to meet tomorrow (she asked yesterday afternoon) but I told her I couldnt as I had to go to a funeral, she seemed a bit put out by this because it was her only day off, asked if I knew the person well and if I had to go? (!?) Told her I did as its a relation of a close friend. Got a snarky "fine then" message and that as the end of it or so I thought.

This morning she added me on facebook despite me never telling her my full name or giving her a link, I think she did that reverse image search thing.

Bit weirded out tbh, I blocked her on both sites is there anything else I should do do you reckon?

Perhaps PM the rest of us her username so that we might avoid said crazy person?

Galvasean

My old laptop died during the week so I had to get a new one and I don't remember my OD password. Blessing in disguise? :pac:

edit: you can just have it mailed to you from the site. Oh well

sharper

GRMA wrote: »

This morning she added me on facebook despite me never telling her my full name or giving her a link, I think she did that reverse image search thing.

Your first name and placename might be enough to find you on facebook

Bit weirded out tbh, I blocked her on both sites is there anything else I should do do you reckon?

I think that's a bit of an overreaction. Feeling weirded out is perfectly valid since you weren't expecting it but can can just do nothing for now. She wants to meet, you want to meet. If she seems a bit nuts you can block her then.

Honey-ec

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Serious?? I would have used the google one before tinyeye.
I'd doubt that i'm the only one too.

miamee wrote: »

Me too - sure there are probably more than the two of those (tineye & google reverse image search) out there too. Where there's a will, there's a way!

I still don't really see the big deal - if someone you don't know finds you on FB (however they do it), just ignore the request. Problem solved, no?

GRMA

sharper wrote: »

Your first name and placename might be enough to find you on facebook



I think that's a bit of an overreaction. Feeling weirded out is perfectly valid since you weren't expecting it but can can just do nothing for now. She wants to meet, you want to meet. If she seems a bit nuts you can block her then.

It wasn't just the adding me, it was her having a go at me for wanting to go to a funeral rather than meeting her which I found very strange

Maybe its just me?