The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Galvasean

GRMA wrote: »

It wasn't just the adding me, it was her having a go at me for wanting to go to a funeral rather than meeting her which I found very strange

Maybe its just me?

The funeral thing had my alarm bells going too. Seemes like an overly snappy reaction. Stuff happens. People get busy. We have lives (I'm told). It's a bit much for someone to expect someone to drop everything, particularly something important, because someone they've never met is free that exact time.
Then the way she was being all palsy after... adding on Facebook. Something doesn't ad up. Sounds a tad skitzoish to me.

sharper

GRMA wrote: »

It wasn't just the adding me, it was her having a go at me for wanting to go to a funeral rather than meeting her which I found very strange

Maybe its just me?

Text is a very difficult medium to communicate in - when she says "fine then" or some equivalent you may be taking it a lot more aggressively than she intended.

She could be a maladjusted sociopath that's going to tie you up in her basement but it's more likely you're just in the midst of a slight misunderstanding coupled with maybe some disappointment on her part she wasn't going to get to meet you on her day off.

Galvasean

I'm actually doing a little better in the last while. Sending out less messages but of the last 6 people I mailed two replied. Didn't get a second reply off either, but hey, one tiz better than none. :cool::

The Dagda

GRMA wrote: »

Having a bit of a weird one guys, was messaging this girl who suggested that we should meet up, I was working up to asking her anyway so happy days I thought, so I said yeah. She wanted to meet tomorrow (she asked yesterday afternoon) but I told her I couldnt as I had to go to a funeral, she seemed a bit put out by this because it was her only day off, asked if I knew the person well and if I had to go? (!?) Told her I did as its a relation of a close friend. Got a snarky "fine then" message and that as the end of it or so I thought.

This morning she added me on facebook despite me never telling her my full name or giving her a link, I think she did that reverse image search thing.

Bit weirded out tbh, I blocked her on both sites is there anything else I should do do you reckon?

Just giving you another view here;

You know how texts and mails can be misconstrued in someones head, like words which are meant one way, by the sender, are picked up another, and wrong, way by the reader.

Well one could take from your, now blocked, potential date's message that she was simply disappointed that you couldn't meet on her one day off. She may have just worded it poorly, lots of people don't over-analyze each word they use etc., but your "snarky" "fine then" message, could just as easily have been her trying to look cool with the disappointment, and her subsequent adding on you on facebook, could merely have been her trying to maintain interest, or a poorly judged act by a nervous girl?!

I guess we'll never know now owing to your, some might say, rash blocking of her, on not one but two sites...

GRMA

The Dagda wrote: »

Just giving you another view here;

You know how texts and mails can be misconstrued in someones head, like words which are meant one way, by the sender, are picked up another, and wrong, way by the reader.

Well one could take from your, now blocked, potential date's message that she was simply disappointed that you couldn't meet on her one day off. She may have just worded it poorly, lots of people don't over-analyze each word they use etc., but your "snarky" "fine then" message, could just as easily have been her trying to look cool with the disappointment, and her subsequent adding on you on facebook, could merely have been her trying to maintain interest, or a poorly judged act by a nervous girl?!

I guess we'll never know now owing to your, some might say, rash blocking of her, on not one but two sites...

her exact reply was "ugh fine then!" after I explained why I had to go and couldn't miss it, I'd just told her that a close relation of one of my best friends had died so I needed to be there for her. Then to track me down on facebook?

I dunno, maybe you're right it just didnt sit comfortably with me at all.

The Dagda

GRMA wrote: »

her exact reply was "ugh fine then!" after I explained why I had to go and couldn't miss it, I'd just told her that a close relation of one of my best friends had died so I needed to be there for her. Then to track me down on facebook?

I dunno, maybe you're right it just didnt sit comfortably with me at all.

Again her use of the word "ugh" could've been her trying to say "awh" which, to me anyway, conveys disappointment, rather then psycho.

Why couldn't you just've given her the benefit of the doubt? Some people are bad at writing messages etc.

GRMA

The Dagda wrote: »

Again her use of the word "ugh" could've been her trying to say "awh" which, to me anyway, conveys disappointment, rather then psycho.

Why couldn't you just've given her the benefit of the doubt? Some people are bad at writing messages etc.

Then why track me down on facebook?

I'd expect a normal persons response to be something along the lines of thats terrible for your friend, of course you have to be there, some other time then, rather than "ugh fine then".

Anyway, it's water under the bridge now.

The Dagda

GRMA wrote: »

Then why track me down on facebook?

I'd expect a normal persons response to be something along the lines of thats terrible for your friend, of course you have to be there, some other time then, rather than "ugh fine then".

Anyway, it's water under the bridge now.

Tbh, it's the whole finding you on facebook that makes me think that she was just disappointed in not being able to meet you, and wanted to advance the connection you had.

Was it poorly judged? Possibly.

I mean people need to realise that OD is so random that it's pointless trying to figure out every message and action.

Just go with it. Give people the benefit of the doubt.

Those messages were simply snapshots of where she was when she sent them, she could've been knackered after her long week of work, she might've had a shandy, or two, later, and decided, on a whim, to add you on facebook.

God knows we've all made bad decisions, for what ever reason. Add in the whole dating, and trying to meet someone, thing into it, and you've got a big random mess.

Bottom line, don't be so quick to judge someone on so little evidence.

smallgarden

id agree but id differ as well.with online dating i think its even more important to go with your gut feeling.if something or someones not sitting right with you then its for a reason. in some scenarios id give benefit of doubt but if im unnerved by someone i wont

knucklehead6

smallgarden wrote: »

id agree but id differ as well.with online dating i think its even more important to go with your gut feeling.if something or someones not sitting right with you then its for a reason. in some scenarios id give benefit of doubt but if im unnerved by someone i wont

One date wouldn't kill him though.

This is going to sound totally sexist, but if it was a bloke tracking down a woman on her FB like that, I'd agree with her being uncomfortable.

As a bloke, though, I'd go on one date. Just to see if she turns up in a wedding dress and with names picked out for imaginary kids!!

GRMA

So I'm acting like a woman?

Ah I just didnt feel comfortable with the whole thng, maybe it was a bit rash blocking her or whatever but I certainly don't want to meet her now anyway.

As an aside, if a bloke doesnt feel comfortable he shouldn't meet someone, remember its the internet, it mightn't even be a woman you're talking to. (not saying thats the case here)

The Dagda

smallgarden wrote: »

id agree but id differ as well.with online dating i think its even more important to go with your gut feeling.if something or someones not sitting right with you then its for a reason. in some scenarios id give benefit of doubt but if im unnerved by someone i wont

I agree with gut feelings, but base them on something real, like meeting someone, or at least speaking to them, not paranoid reactions to a few words in a message, or on a profile.

knucklehead6

GRMA wrote: »

So I'm acting like a woman?

Ah I just didnt feel comfortable with the whole thng, maybe it was a bit rash blocking her or whatever but I certainly don't want to meet her now anyway.

As an aside, if a bloke doesnt feel comfortable he shouldn't meet someone, remember its the internet, it mightn't even be a woman you're talking to. (not saying thats the case here)

Hehehe

As I mentioned earlier, you're going to have developed a feel for someone based on your chats. If I was comfortable during the messages, I'd be happy enough to meet. If not, then I'd discontinue the conversation.

GRMA

I'm new at this as well... I'll bear in mind whats been said the next time though

Dermo73

I'd agree in principle with most of the posts above. Some people are poor at communicating via text/email messages. I know I've been guilty of it myself. I send off what seems like a funny message and then afterwards I re-read it and think it could be construed as creepy. Sometimes the intended tone of the message isn't perceived by the recipient. Over analysis is a hazard in the world of OD I guess.

Having said that, the "fine then" message does sound insensitive at best and downright mean at worst. Maybe you're better off moving on from this one. If your gut said block her then you're probably doing the right thing.

stargazer 68

ViveLaVie wrote: »

For the people who are fed up with going on OD dates and never having them amount to anything substantial...

Would you not agree that RL is the same? You could easily meet just as many potential partners in reality but have it go nowhere as well...

Probably however the last RL date I had was my ex husband 21 years ago! :eek: The only dates I get now are online. God that sounds terrible but its simply a fact!

Rattlehead_ie

Decided to give PoF another go and see what happens! I just don't understand the whole mailing each other then suddenly stops!
Onwards and upwards

miamee

Rattlehead_ie wrote: »

Decided to give PoF another go and see what happens! I just don't understand the whole mailing each other then suddenly stops!
Onwards and upwards

Hey there Rattlehead, best of luck! Sure you never know what is going on in another person's life that would take their attention away from OD, it could be anything at all!

Roddy23

Decided to give PoF another go and see what happens! I just don't understand the whole mailing each other then suddenly stops!

Having the same problem tbh.

Does anybody use the meet me function on POF? I've had a few of these come in, in the last few weeks, but I can't bring myself to mail them as I find it lazy. Maybe I should just need a fresh batch of optimism, and to start mailing again.

Rattlehead_ie

Roddy23 wrote: »

Having the same problem tbh.

Does anybody use the meet me function on POF? I've had a few of these come in, in the last few weeks, but I can't bring myself to mail them as I find it lazy. Maybe I should just need a fresh batch of optimism, and to start mailing again.

Mine hasnt worked on the app since I got back. Maybe I have to answer questions or turn on something

finipops

My first coffee date today at 4pm. I am nervous as usual but i hope it goes well.

knucklehead6

finipops wrote: »

My first coffee date today at 4pm. I am nervous as usual but i hope it goes well.

Good luck!! The first first date is always the hardest.

miamee

finipops wrote: »

My first coffee date today at 4pm. I am nervous as usual but i hope it goes well.

Good luck!

Three messages today, one offering NSA, another asking if I'd like to listen to him "cum", and a third telling me off for not replying to his messages last August. Good times!

Daveysil15

I've noticed a lot of women on POF are now looking for a Christian Grey. :rolleyes::eek::mad:

Ammsy500

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I've noticed a lot of women on POF are now looking for a Christian Grey. :rolleyes::eek::mad:

What is that all about?? Noticed loads of guys had something mentioning Christian grey on their profile like "better than mr grey" or their username was something referring to it. Wouldn't be into that physco at all

Daveysil15

Ammsy500 wrote: »

What is that all about?? Noticed loads of guys had something mentioning Christian grey on their profile like "better than mr grey" or their username was something referring to it. Wouldn't be into that physco at all

Yeah it seems to be confusing the guys about what women are looking for. Maybe that's why so many of them feel compelled to act like pervs and share dic pics.

1ZRed

Ammsy500 wrote: »

What is that all about?? Noticed loads of guys had something mentioning Christian grey on their profile like "better than mr grey" or their username was something referring to it. Wouldn't be into that physco at all

That'd mean a heap of guys were sad enough to read enough of the book to know what tf the deal was with him. Feck that

smallgarden

are women openly looking for mr grey on profile? i wonder if pof is getting more of a rep for being good place for quick shag as theres definitely more men loosing for nsa. sounds like there are more women doing the same

Daveysil15

smallgarden wrote: »

are women openly looking for mr grey on profile? i wonder if pof is getting more of a rep for being good place for quick shag as theres definitely more men loosing for nsa. sounds like there are more women doing the same

Yeah some have it stated in their headlines, although I think the men looking for NSA still far out-number the women. There are not enough Christian Grey lovers to match all the horny men.