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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

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    #7622
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Things are starting to look up on POF. I've been chatting to a couple of nice girls who seem very keen, both of whom are only new to the site. I think its always a good idea to pounce on the newbies before they become disillusioned with the whole thing. It’s refreshing talking to someone new as a lot of the veterans of OD often harbour a bit of resentment, and have no problem stating that in their profiles, which can be off-putting.

    One girl who has been doing online dating for a few years, told me she had a bad experience with POF because one guy she met off it used her for sex. Now when I say "used" I mean he never called her afterwards, yet they shagged on the first date. So if two people meet up, they're both horny, they both fcuk, and both presumably enjoy it... then how exactly is one person been used in that situation?


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    #7623
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,783 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Things are starting to look up on POF. I've been chatting to a couple of nice girls who seem very keen, both of whom are only new to the site. I think its always a good idea to pounce on the newbies before they become disillusioned with the whole thing. It’s refreshing talking to someone new as a lot of the veterans of OD often harbour a bit of resentment, and have no problem stating that in their profiles, which can be off-putting.

    One girl who has been doing online dating for a few years, told me she had a bad experience with POF because one guy she met off it used her for sex. Now when I say "used" I mean he never called her afterwards, yet they shagged on the first date. So if two people meet up, they're both horny, they both fcuk, and both presumably enjoy it... then how exactly is one person been used in that situation?

    Pounce?? Jesus, you make it sound like you are hunting game rather than trying to meet up with someone to share things with..

    As for the woman in that situation feeling used... Lets join the dots...

    Gilr meets boy.... girl likes boy... girl sleeps with boy.... girl would like to repeat the experience... boy.....boy... boy?? where is boy gone??


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    #7624
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Pounce was a bit of an exaggeration obviously, I just mesage them. The impression I got is that she didn't want a repeat performance, she just felt cheap and used. It's not like she was forced into though.


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    #7625
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Pounce was a bit of an exaggeration obviously, I just mesage them. The impression I got is that she didn't want a repeat performance, she just felt cheap and used. It's not like she was forced into though.

    This may come as a surprise to you but the majority of guys on a dating site 'pounce' on the new girls asap. Your not the only one.


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    #7626
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Pounce was a bit of an exaggeration obviously, I just mesage them. The impression I got is that she didn't want a repeat performance, she just felt cheap and used. It's not like she was forced into though.

    I doubt she'd feel used if she didn't want anything more than the sex. I mean, if she wanted to date him and see more of him, then she might. But if two people go out to get laid and nothing else, neither should end up feeling used. :confused:


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    #7627
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    I doubt she'd feel used if she didn't want anything more than the sex. I mean, if she wanted to date him and see more of him, then she might. But if two people go out to get laid and nothing else, neither should end up feeling used. :confused:

    It sounds like she thought it would lead to a relationship whereas the guy just wanted a ONS.


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    #7628
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    mood wrote: »
    This may come as a surprise to you but the majority of guys on a dating site 'pounce' on the new girls asap. Your not the only one.

    And there's nothing wrong with that as long as its done in a non pervy way.
    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    I doubt she'd feel used if she didn't want anything more than the sex. I mean, if she wanted to date him and see more of him, then she might. But if two people go out to get laid and nothing else, neither should end up feeling used. :confused:

    That's exactly my point. Maybe she liked him and wanted something more but he didn't feel the same.


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    #7629
    smallgarden
    Registered Users Posts: 1,640 ✭✭✭smallgarden


    maybe she thought it was going somewhere and slept with him,thinking they would meet again and then suddenly hes got what hes wanted and doesnt contact her so she ends up feeling used. there are plenty of people who pretend they really like someone and want more who feck off once they get their bit.


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    #7630
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    And there's nothing wrong with that as long as its done in a non pervy way.

    I know. It just sounded like you though you had a unique approach.


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    #7631
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,783 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Pounce was a bit of an exaggeration obviously, I just mesage them. The impression I got is that she didn't want a repeat performance, she just felt cheap and used. It's not like she was forced into though.
    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    And there's nothing wrong with that as long as its done in a non pervy way.

    That's exactly my point. Maybe she liked him and wanted something more but he didn't feel the same.


    Make up your mind, will ya>?> :p

    If she wanted more than a ONS its very easy to see how she would consider herself being used.


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    #7632
    smallgarden
    Registered Users Posts: 1,640 ✭✭✭smallgarden


    mood wrote: »
    This may come as a surprise to you but the majority of guys on a dating site 'pounce' on the new girls asap. Your not the only one.

    im totally guilty of this!:o


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    #7633
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,783 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    smallgarden wrote: »
    im totally guilty of this!:o


    Pouncing on girls?? :p;)


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    #7634
    smallgarden
    Registered Users Posts: 1,640 ✭✭✭smallgarden


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    Pouncing on girls?? :p;)

    id assume youd know what i meant! looking up new users


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    #7635
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,783 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    smallgarden wrote: »
    id assume youd know what i meant! looking up new users

    it was an effort to raise a smile on a dark cold dreary friday evening


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    #7636
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    If she wanted more than a ONS its very easy to see how she would consider herself being used.

    Yeah like she was going to be thinking about that when she was on her back with her legs in the air. "Ohh god yesssss. Fcuk yeah... Ohh I hope he calls me after this." :pac:


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    #7637
    smallgarden
    Registered Users Posts: 1,640 ✭✭✭smallgarden


    came across a potential mr november,a suspicious rockclimbing one for the fake people calendar to go with the fake fireman think honey ec came across


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    #7638
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    Pouncing on girls?? :p;)

    Reminds me of slow sets!


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    #7639
    smallgarden
    Registered Users Posts: 1,640 ✭✭✭smallgarden


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Yeah like she was going to be thinking about that when she was on her back with her legs in the air. "Ohh god yesssss. Fcuk yeah... Ohh I hope he calls me after this." :pac:

    maybe she was! can totally see how she could be? do mens mind wander during sex or is it just focused on the sex?


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    #7640
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,783 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    mood wrote: »
    Reminds me of slow sets!


    Where the voice goes from high pitched to a real deep bass as the lad attempts to appear older...

    "Eh... See me mate over there.... He was wondering if you'd like to dance with him..."


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    #7641
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,783 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    smallgarden wrote: »
    maybe she was! can totally see how she could be? do mens mind wander during sex or is it just focused on the sex?


    To quote Robin Williams...
    “God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.”


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    #7642
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,783 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    smallgarden wrote: »
    came across a potential mr november,a suspicious rockclimbing one for the fake people calendar to go with the fake fireman think honey ec came across


    There's a lad on AF who you have GOT TO see to believe... his bloody pic is always on the login screen!


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    #7643
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    smallgarden wrote: »
    maybe she was! can totally see how she could be? do mens mind wander during sex or is it just focused on the sex?

    Unless she's terrible or its very boring, it always stays on the sex. One needs to stay focused.


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    #7644
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Yeah like she was going to be thinking about that when she was on her back with her legs in the air. "Ohh god yesssss. Fcuk yeah... Ohh I hope he calls me after this." :pac:

    Could happen, in fairness. I don't sleep with someone unless I'm in a bf/gf situation with them, so it doesn't happen to me, but when I was in a new relationship, before, during and after the act, what was on my mind was 'Is he gonna see me as easy? Will he just ditch me now that he's gotten what he wants?' Went ahead with it because, well... Um, I like sex. :pac: But the worry could easily be there.

    If she wrote on her online account that she wanted a relationship or whatever, it's safe to say that she probably WAS used. Just because you sleep with someone on the first date doesn't mean that ALL you want is sex.


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    #7645
    manafana
    Registered Users Posts: 3,484 ✭✭✭manafana


    lads do work different, yes they will always take the shag if its their first date, but sometimes if hes interested he will stick around but often on his terms, chances are he didnt like her much but said he may as well give her one for the road.


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    #7646
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    manafana wrote: »
    lads do work different, yes they will always take the shag if its their first date, but sometimes if hes interested he will stick around but often on his terms, chances are he didnt like her much but said he may as well give her one for the road.


    Pretty scummy thing to do though. If you know somebody wants more than just a ONS, you shouldn't just 'give them one for the road' if you know full well that they want more than that.


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    #7647
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,783 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    manafana wrote: »
    lads do work different, yes they will always take the shag if its their first date, but sometimes if hes interested he will stick around but often on his terms, chances are he didnt like her much but said he may as well give her one for the road.


    Speak for yourself.:mad:


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    #7648
    smileyj1987
    Registered Users Posts: 5,325 ✭✭✭smileyj1987


    I got a mail today opened and thought wow she is stunning so I replied straight away after about 10 mails I realised she is only gone 18 a month but ahwell age is only a number .


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    #7649
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    smileyj1987 wrote: »
    I got a mail today opened and thought wow she is stunning so I replied straight away after about 10 mails I realised she is only gone 18 a month but ahwell age is only a number .

    Hopefully she is not lying about her age!


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    #7650
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    Galvasean wrote: »
    I once knew a girl who never met her boyfriend (outside of Myspace) and they lived on different continents. It all got a bit weird whe invited me over to meet him. At that point I didn't realise he lived in America and they hadn't met in person. I assumed he was actually at the house. There's me and her sitting on a couch talking to this lad via a webcam. I honestly felt like I had died and woken up on Planet Crazy!

    Must've been some cam sex, should've taken the hint and stuck around :p


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    #7651
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    If she wrote on her online account that she wanted a relationship or whatever, it's safe to say that she probably WAS used. Just because you sleep with someone on the first date doesn't mean that ALL you want is sex.

    I still don't think anybody gets used if both people want the same thing, at least at the start. The etiquette after a ONS is different matter entirely and not something everyone will agree on.


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