The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Esoteric_

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I still don't think anybody gets used if both people want the same thing, at least at the start. The etiquette after a ONS is different matter entirely and not something everyone will agree on.

If, like I said, one party has written on their OD profile that they want a relationship, it's not a one night stand, at least in the eyes of the person who wants a relationship. Having sex on the first date doesn't equal a one night stand where you don't have to bother with contact after. So, in a case like that, I'd consider the party 'wanting a relationship' to be used, because the other party apparently had no interest in further contact after sex.

knucklehead6

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I still don't think anybody gets used if both people want the same thing, at least at the start. The etiquette after a ONS is different matter entirely and not something everyone will agree on.

If they got carried away with things on the first night that doesn't automatically lead to ONS territory.
It's happened to me, where things have gotten a little bit intense on the first night. They've both led to relationships.

If both people knew going into it, that it would be a ONS, that's different. But if she feels used afterwards, that's not ONS territory.

Daveysil15

LyndaMcL wrote: »

If, like I said, one party has written on their OD profile that they want a relationship, it's not a one night stand, at least in the eyes of the person who wants a relationship. Having sex on the first date doesn't equal a one night stand where you don't have to bother with contact after. So, in a case like that, I'd consider the party 'wanting a relationship' to be used, because the other party apparently had no interest in further contact after sex.

What if she just has dating but nothing serious? Unless he lied to her before hand I don't see anything wrong. It's not like she was forced into doing anything she didn't want to do. If the roles were reversed would there be any complaints?

Esoteric_

Daveysil15 wrote: »

What if she just has dating but nothing serious? Unless he lied to her before hand I don't see anything wrong. It's not like she was forced into doing anything she didn't want to do. If the roles were reversed would there be any complaints?

Dating is still different to sex. If someone only wanted sex, they should (they don't always however) have written 'not seeking a relationship or any type of commitment' on their profile.

Of course she wasn't forced, but she seemingly wanted more, one would imagine the other party knew this from reading her profile, and as such, I totally see why she feels used.

If the roles were reversed, and the guy was 'hurt' from it then yeah, I'd be of the same opinon. I don't think gender does or should come into this.

Daveysil15

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Dating is still different to sex. If someone only wanted sex, they should (they don't always however) have written 'not seeking a relationship or any type of commitment' on their profile.

If the roles were reversed, and the guy was 'hurt' from it then yeah, I'd be of the same opinon. I don't think gender does or should come into this.

These things aren't always planned though. They may have just decided to meet for a date and then see what happens. Regardless of what either person wanted, they still decided to have sex there and then. Sure the guy should have had the decency to call her afterwards, even if it was to say he didn't want to see here again, but that doesn't mean he set out to deceive her.

What I mean about the roles been reversed is that the guy probably wouldn't regret it as much as he still got the ride. Guys don't get the same stigma for been promiscuous.

knucklehead6

Daveysil15 wrote: »

What if she just has dating but nothing serious? Unless he lied to her before hand I don't see anything wrong. It's not like she was forced into doing anything she didn't want to do. If the roles were reversed would there be any complaints?

So if a woman just wants sex and a fella thinks its the beginning of something more, and that's not sorted out at the start the fella shouldn't feel used and should be happy he got his end away??

Congratulations. You've just won the award for posting the biggest load of tripe i've ever seen on this website.

and i post in the soccer forum!!


Actually it appears you out did yourself with the last line in the post immediately before this one!!

smileyj1987

mood wrote: »

Hopefully she is not lying about her age!

If she is i guess wait till she is 18 ;)

Daveysil15

knucklehead6 wrote: »

So if a woman just wants sex and a fella thinks its the beginning of something more, and that's not sorted out at the start the fella shouldn't feel used and should be happy he got his end away??

Congratulations. You've just won the award for posting the biggest load of tripe i've ever seen on this website.

and i post in the soccer forum!!


Actually it appears you out did yourself with the last line in the post immediately before this one!!

So are you saying that men are stigmatized as much as women for sleeping around? Now that is a load of tripe.

knucklehead6

Daveysil15 wrote: »

So are you saying that men are stigmatized as much as women for sleeping around? Now that is a load of tripe.

No, I said that if a man and a woman meet up and sleep together on the first night, and he is under the illusion that it might be the beginning of something and she just wants sex, then he has the right to feel used.

Not every fella just wants to have sex with every woman he meets.

Daveysil15

knucklehead6 wrote: »

No, I said that if a man and a woman meet up and sleep together on the first night, and he is under the illusion that it might be the beginning of something and she just wants sex, then he has the right to feel used.

Not every fella just wants to have sex with every woman he meets.

That rarely happens. I mean come on... how often have you heard a man complain over been used for sex?

knucklehead6

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That rarely happens. I mean come on... how often have you heard a man complain over been used for sex?

With attitudes like yours being the prevelant attitude is it any wonder??

There's a social stigma to it, a man feels like he has to hide it if he thinks he has been used by a woman.

Feck it, even Hollywood has only tried it once, Michael Douglas in that film, Disclosure.

manafana

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Speak for yourself.:mad:

im sorry but id consider myself pretty considerate but iv been drawn in by woman its not always easy to push them away, althou i would have at least got in touch afterwards even if i wanted to end it

Daveysil15

knucklehead6 wrote: »

With attitudes like yours being the prevelant attitude is it any wonder??

There's a social stigma to it, a man feels like he has to hide it if he thinks he has been used by a woman.

And what attitude would that be? I'm not someone who is only interested is sex. I'm on OD to find a relationship, but to say been used for sex is a common concern for men is laughable.

knucklehead6

Daveysil15 wrote: »

And what attitude would that be? I'm not someone who is only interested is sex. I'm on OD to find a relationship, but to say been used for sex is a common concern for men is laughable.

The fact that you are totally dismissive of even the mere possibility of it happening is the attitude I'm talking about.

Daveysil15

knucklehead6 wrote: »

The fact that you are totally dismissive of even the mere possibility of it happening is the attitude I'm talking about.

I never said it was impossible, I said it rarely happens. So you're agreeing that its only a mere possibility then? Yes I don't diispute that.

Some people's profiles on POF really make my heart and my eyes bleed.

knucklehead6

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I never said it was impossible, I said it rarely happens. So you're agreeing that its only a mere possibility then? Yes I don't diispute that.

I said you are dismissive of it being a mere possibility. I didn't say it was only a mere possibility.

Now i'm not going to get bogged down in semantics in discussing this with you. The fact is it DOES happen. For both genders. And in the case you referred to earlier, I could easily see how that girl feels she was used.

smileyj1987

Deleted User wrote: »

Some people's profiles on POF really make my heart and my eyes bleed.

Set up a profile called the profile police and make people change their profiles !

Mr_Spaceman

Bit of a princess up herself on OKC here...

You should message me if:

you're NOT punching above your station as i will ignore too

Right you are then, darling!

Can you imagine if a man wrote that with a straight face?

smileyj1987

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Bit of a princess up herself on OKC here...

You should message me if:

you're NOT punching above your station as i will ignore too

Right you are then, darling!

Can you imagine if a man wrote that with a straight face?

She deserves a punch , one thing is she good looking or a bowler ?

Tigger99

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Bit of a princess up herself on OKC here...

You should message me if:

you're NOT punching above your station as i will ignore too

Right you are then, darling!

Can you imagine if a man wrote that with a straight face?

Thanks to google I found her. She says that she's low maintenance and easy going. God bless her!

riveratom

knucklehead6 wrote: »

I said you are dismissive of it being a mere possibility. I didn't say it was only a mere possibility.

Now i'm not going to get bogged down in semantics in discussing this with you. The fact is it DOES happen. For both genders. And in the case you referred to earlier, I could easily see how that girl feels she was used.

Does it really happen for blokes??!

I think I'd feckin love if it happened to me!! :pac:

Mr_Spaceman

smileyj1987 wrote: »

She deserves a punch , one thing is she good looking or a bowler ?

The best bit is that her face is partially hidden in her (only) photo.

So many people's profiles are fcuking negative - it's no this, no that, I'm not interested in this and that.

FFS - and you wonder 'where have the good men gone' ? *
To look elsewhere!

For the ladies on here - do men generally provide the same, incessant depressing tick list of negative vibes, because I'm losing the will to live here.

And another thing. A lecture from an OD princess is one thing, but at least learn to fcuking spell before outlining your impossible demands.


*the next time I see this phrase I'm going to shoot myself

Why are a lot of women's pictures taken in the toilet?

smileyj1987

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

The best bit is that her face is partially hidden in her (only) photo.

So many people's profiles are fcuking negative - it's no this, no that, I'm not interested in this and that.

FFS - and you wonder 'where have the good men gone' ? *
To look elsewhere!

For the ladies on here - do men generally provide the same, incessant depressing tick list of negative vibes, because I'm losing the will to live here.

And another thing. A lecture from an OD princess is one thing, but at least learn to fcuking spell before outlining your impossible demands.


*the next time I see this phrase I'm going to shoot myself

Oh my god that says it all to me ! If she was supermodel material you would kind of say to yourself she can be slightly picky . At this stage I just avoid them sort of profiles .
I just got a message on POF and told her I wasn't interested because right now I would prefer not to date somebody without kids . It even states that in my profile that I am not interested in kids at this moment in time and don't think it would be right to date somebody and possibly end up in a relationship with somebody who has kids . She then message me back calling me an " arrogant smug p**** " WTF .

Mr_Spaceman

smileyj1987 wrote: »

Oh my god that says it all to me ! If she was supermodel material you would kind of say to yourself she can be slightly picky . At this stage I just avoid them sort of profiles .
I just got a message on POF and told her I wasn't interested because right now I would prefer not to date somebody without kids . It even states that in my profile that I am not interested in kids at this moment in time and don't think it would be right to date somebody and possibly end up in a relationship with somebody who has kids . She then message me back calling me an " arrogant smug p**** " WTF .

Unfortunately, that's what you get for being considerate.

It's been covered at length on here but, honestly, just ignore messages from people you're not interested in.

You don't have to justify what's already obvious on your profile. You'll certainly get no thanks for it.

Ignore... and look straight ahead!

smileyj1987

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Unfortunately, that's what you get for being considerate.

It's been covered at length on here but, honestly, just ignore messages from people you're not interested in.

You don't have to justify what's already obvious on your profile. You'll certainly get no thanks for it.

Ignore... and look straight ahead!

AI think I will and I am also going to start using the block button aswell !

Online dating has made me a very picky person! Bad spelling mistakes, terrible grammar, pointless hand gestures, extremely and overly poser photos, and many other things immediately turn me off a person's profile. I've never been this bad before. Damn it.

smileyj1987

Deleted User wrote: »

Online dating has made me a very picky person! Bad spelling mistakes, terrible grammar, pointless hand gestures, extremely and overly poser photos, and many other things immediately turn me off a person's profile. I've never been this bad before. Damn it.

I know the feeling back in my younger days anything with a pulse would have done but now it seems I only want the best possible relationship . Damn getting older and coming to my senses .

knucklehead6

riveratom wrote: »

Does it really happen for blokes??!

I think I'd feckin love if it happened to me!! :pac:

Naah.

Feeling used for something is about the worst feeling there is. Knowing that someone took advantage of you, just for their own benefit? You think you'd love that to happen? Trust me. You wouldn't.