The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

GRMA

crapmanjoe wrote: »

So think I've been discriminated twice based on nationality in the last week.

Was messaging 2 girls, had got as far as agreeing to go for drinks and then while arranging time / place I mentioned in a message that I was Irish (didn't want to surprise them by turning up and having a "funny" accent and suddenly radio silence from them both.

What part of America? Might be down to the Irish/Catholic association.

mood

GRMA wrote: »

What part of America? Might be down to the Irish/Catholic association.

The only negative thing I could think of would be the assumption that he is a heavy drinker or wants a green card!

Galvasean

mood wrote: »

In that case all I can think is they might assume you are a heavy drinker which you probably aren't :rolleyes:. Maybe mention in your profile that you are Irish to prevent this happening again. However, there maybe other reason for the lack of contact. Maybe they have had other dates that went well therefore they are no longer keen to meet you.

This happens quite a lot in relation to OD. Chances are them disappearing has nothing to do with what you said or did.

mood

Galvasean wrote: »

This happens quite a lot in relation to OD. Chances are them disappearing has nothing to do with what you said or did.

Yes. i know I like to see how things pan out with one guy before meeting another.

crapmanjoe

mood wrote: »

The only negative thing I could think of would be the assumption that he is a heavy drinker or wants a green card!

I mean I like a drink but not a heavy drinker and I'm already sorted for a visa.

Im like 90% sure its cause I said I was Irish as we were chatting back and forward over the course of the evening and then silence after the message about me being Irish.

Strangely don't think it was cause of religion either cause I only message Catholics - not that i could give a damn but just found that all other religious types seem to be more picky about staying within their own group. (in the real world dont think this is as much as a deal but for online I think it is some kind of filter)

stringofmisery

well maybe the reason is that they are all looking for long-term partners, and at the back of their minds they think you might just feck off back to ireland.

jaffacakesyum

stringofmisery wrote: »

well maybe the reason is that they are all looking for long-term partners, and at the back of their minds they think you might just feck off back to ireland.

Yeah +1 to that

I've had people message me who seem really great but are just here for the summer or who are on a 1 year visa or something like that and it's just not worth it for me.

knucklehead6

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Yeah +1 to that

I've had people message me who seem really great but are just here for the summer or who are on a 1 year visa or something like that and it's just not worth it for me.

How do you know?

For the summer, I can understand. Especially if they message you in August!

But if someone was here for a year, and I met them with 11 months to go, I honestly don't know if I'd decide its not worth it. Maybe they might decide to stay on. Maybe I might decide to leave it all behind and go with them, back to where they're from?

I don't know if I'd be able to take a chance on them. But I don't know for certain that I wouldn't either. I've not been in that situation, but it seems a bit rash to not at least consider it.

Larianne

Itwasntme. wrote: »

- Tineye is your friend. Once bitten, twice shy; fool me once and all that jazz and I still got played!

What happened here? As in someone had a photo up that wasn't them? Can you not tell? I mean if they only have one photo and are quite good looking in an Americany jock sort of way?? Well that's what I'd be thinking. Did you find out on the date or what?

(sorry lots of questions!! Just curious)

DerekDGoldfish

I hate when you get a message from somone cute and interesting but lives thousands of miles away, I dont see any point in having a conversation with someone you are never going to meet (I realise Im saying this on an internet forum)

Micky 32

Galvasean wrote: »

That's odd. I thought the yanks loved the Irish...

Definately, i have had lots of dates in the USA from POF. I go there quite often and always managed to set up a date no problem for my visit , they jump at the chance. The like to hear the sweet nothings whispered in their ears with the auld irish accent One time i spontaneosly jumped on a plane to NY to meet one.

jaffacakesyum

knucklehead6 wrote: »

How do you know?

For the summer, I can understand. Especially if they message you in August!

But if someone was here for a year, and I met them with 11 months to go, I honestly don't know if I'd decide its not worth it. Maybe they might decide to stay on. Maybe I might decide to leave it all behind and go with them, back to where they're from?

I don't know if I'd be able to take a chance on them. But I don't know for certain that I wouldn't either. I've not been in that situation, but it seems a bit rash to not at least consider it.

Well for me the person had 7 months left on their visa and i just didnt feel it was worth meeting up as he talked a lot about travelling over the next while. Its just not what Im looking for at the moment. Never say never though, but with the people Im talking about (living here just for the summer, 7 month left on visa, another who was here for a year learning English before planning on studying elsewhere) it just wasnt worth it.

crapmanjoe

So I mailed one of them again and she replied "sorry I don't date foreigners". Which while I appreciate her honesty makes me glad we never met.

stargazer 68

crapmanjoe wrote: »

So I mailed one of them again and she replied "sorry I don't date foreigners". Which while I appreciate her honesty makes me glad we never met.

Lol guess it makes a change from us saying it!

KTRIC

Just getting mails from pervy old women from the sticks at the moment !! :rolleyes:

stargazer 68

KTRIC wrote: »

Just getting mails from pervy old women from the sticks at the moment !! :rolleyes:

I jumped back into the OD saddle last night. Quite a few mails and conversations - lots of younger men though as in 32-35. :rolleyes:

LittleFox

Had the first date last night, ended up going for a quiet drink, it was lovely no awkward silences. Small kiss goodnight and he texted me when I got home asking what I was doing on Friday so yaay second date.
Only issue is he may be heading back down the country in the next few weeks as he was only moved to the Dublin office temporarily to sort a few things

miamee

LittleFox wrote: »

Had the first date last night, ended up going for a quiet drink, it was lovely no awkward silences. Small kiss goodnight and he texted me when I got home asking what I was doing on Friday so yaay second date.
Only issue is he may be heading back down the country in the next few weeks as he was only moved to the Dublin office temporarily to sort a few things

Woo, that sounds promising! Apart from the moving down the country bit but hopefully it's not *too* far to drive or see each other at weekends if it goes that far Enjoy it anyway!

miamee

KTRIC wrote: »

Just getting mails from pervy old women from the sticks at the moment !! :rolleyes:

Lucky you :P Ah no, mails from pervy old men are not something I'd welcome so I can't imagine it's much fun.

Honey-ec

Have my first OKC date on Sunday

LittleFox

miamee wrote: »

Woo, that sounds promising! Apart from the moving down the country bit but hopefully it's not *too* far to drive or see each other at weekends if it goes that far Enjoy it anyway!

Thanks, yeah distance wouldn't bother me my exs were in offaly and kildare so Kilkenny wouldn't be a big deal for me if it got that far

stargazer 68

Honey-ec wrote: »

Have my first OKC date on Sunday

Woohoooooooo!

miamee

LittleFox wrote: »

Thanks, yeah distance wouldn't bother me my exs were in offaly and kildare so Kilkenny wouldn't be a big deal for me if it got that far

Oh the motorway to KK is great now, it wouldn't be too bad (also Kilkenny is a great town to go out in )

miamee

Honey-ec wrote: »

Have my first OKC date on Sunday

Brilliant Honey-ec, that's great!

CazMarch

Hi all, I'm a frequent lurker and love the read here, but only posted once or twice. Anyhow, got stood up last night. I know this has probably been done to death or boards, but just wondering if there's anyone here who would admit to standing someone up! I had been texting this bloke from POF since the weekend. He suggested meeting up quite early on and we arranged to meet at 7 yesterday evening. The last text we exchanged yesterday was at 4.30 and it was all talk about us meeting up. So, I get to the venue but wait in my car, text to see if he's arrived, no reply. 7.15 I ring to see if he's on his way, voicemail. 7.30 last text to tell him I'm going home. Arrive home, humiliation having to explain to my kids why I'm home so early! I check into POF and lo and behold there he is! I sent one more text but of course that was ignored too. I'm a 50 year old woman and I really don't need this childish hassle. So, just wondering, have you ever been the stander-upper??!

Honey-ec

CazMarch wrote: »

So, just wondering, have you ever been the stander-upper??!

No, never, and I would never do it in a million years, I just cannot get my head around being that rude to someone. Thankfully, I've never been stood up either, although I have had a couple of last-minute (as in, just as I was leaving the house) cancellers and one memorable disappearing act who I think I posted here about at the time.

Sorry that happened to you, Caz. Only the lowest of the low are that cowardly.

stargazer 68

CazMarch wrote: »

So, just wondering, have you ever been the stander-upper??!

Definitely not. Cant imagine anyone on here confessing to doing it either though. I have been stood up twice and its awful. Unfortunately it happens.

miamee

CazMarch wrote: »

Hi all, I'm a frequent lurker and love the read here, but only posted once or twice. Anyhow, got stood up last night. I know this has probably been done to death or boards, but just wondering if there's anyone here who would admit to standing someone up! I had been texting this bloke from POF since the weekend. He suggested meeting up quite early on and we arranged to meet at 7 yesterday evening. The last text we exchanged yesterday was at 4.30 and it was all talk about us meeting up. So, I get to the venue but wait in my car, text to see if he's arrived, no reply. 7.15 I ring to see if he's on his way, voicemail. 7.30 last text to tell him I'm going home. Arrive home, humiliation having to explain to my kids why I'm home so early! I check into POF and lo and behold there he is! I sent one more text but of course that was ignored too. I'm a 50 year old woman and I really don't need this childish hassle. So, just wondering, have you ever been the stander-upper??!

Oh my goodness CazMarch, that is horrible...and so rude! He obviously bottled out.
I have never stood anyone up. I have on one or two occasions (my first few times) wanted to run away once I got there with the nerves of waiting but I never actually did. I can't believe he did that, what a nasty person, especially if he knew you had to organise kids and possibly a babysitter in order to go meet him :mad:

knucklehead6

Never done it.
Would never do it.

HAVE cancelled dates alright both due to 3D world stuff happening that was outside my control, and meeting someone and just 'clicking' and knowing that going on a date with someone else would be unfair when all i was doing was thinking of the first girl.
I didn't like doing that, felt like a prick, but IMO it's better to be straight up and honest about these things.

Lester Freamon

CazMarch wrote: »

Hi all, I'm a frequent lurker and love the read here, but only posted once or twice. Anyhow, got stood up last night. I know this has probably been done to death or boards, but just wondering if there's anyone here who would admit to standing someone up! I had been texting this bloke from POF since the weekend. He suggested meeting up quite early on and we arranged to meet at 7 yesterday evening. The last text we exchanged yesterday was at 4.30 and it was all talk about us meeting up. So, I get to the venue but wait in my car, text to see if he's arrived, no reply. 7.15 I ring to see if he's on his way, voicemail. 7.30 last text to tell him I'm going home. Arrive home, humiliation having to explain to my kids why I'm home so early! I check into POF and lo and behold there he is! I sent one more text but of course that was ignored too. I'm a 50 year old woman and I really don't need this childish hassle. So, just wondering, have you ever been the stander-upper??!

Well, one way to look at it is that you defo dodged a bullet there! What kind of asshole doesn't even bother to text and cancel. He knowingly left you standing there when it would have taken him 20 seconds for him to text you earlier in the day and at least he would have had the decency to give you the opportunity to make other plans for yourself.

Delete him immediately on POF. He is an embarrassment for us good men!!