Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Options
1…261262264266267…323

Comments

  • Options
    #7892
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    I dont really get why people do that to be honest. If its a case of cold feet then fair enough but a simple text would do. I think some people get some kind of perverse kick out of knowing that someone is sitting waiting for them to show up - baffles me really! :confused:


  • Options
    #7893
    CazMarch
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭CazMarch


    Thanks for the replies! Yep, absolutely no excuse for it at all. I suppose the wife is still around and he's not as 'separated' as he thinks he is. Would have been so easy to cancel using some pathetic excuse (best one I ever had was that 'my sister in law is having her veins done')! I think an awful lot of people are looking for the ego boost - makes them feel good knowing that they can actually get a date. Thing is, he'll probably go ahead and do the same to some other poor innocent woman. Feel like leaving a testimonial on his POF profile! Definitely bullet dodged but it has really put me off online dating. Have had nothing but crap experiences lately and I'm starting to wonder if it's the universe's way of telling me it's the single life for me :(


  • Options
    #7894
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    CazMarch wrote: »
    Hi all, I'm a frequent lurker and love the read here, but only posted once or twice. Anyhow, got stood up last night. I know this has probably been done to death or boards, but just wondering if there's anyone here who would admit to standing someone up! I had been texting this bloke from POF since the weekend. He suggested meeting up quite early on and we arranged to meet at 7 yesterday evening. The last text we exchanged yesterday was at 4.30 and it was all talk about us meeting up. So, I get to the venue but wait in my car, text to see if he's arrived, no reply. 7.15 I ring to see if he's on his way, voicemail. 7.30 last text to tell him I'm going home. Arrive home, humiliation having to explain to my kids why I'm home so early! I check into POF and lo and behold there he is! I sent one more text but of course that was ignored too. I'm a 50 year old woman and I really don't need this childish hassle. So, just wondering, have you ever been the stander-upper??!

    That is awful. Its never happened me and ive never ever done it. I would make sure you dont ever contact him again. Block him on POF and dont give him the opportunity to make an eejit of you again. If he texts or calls dont even give him the time of day and waste the energy even replying to him. It will annoy him more if you dont reply.

    My guess is that its not the last you will hear of him but definitely do not give him any satisfaction by replying to him in any way.


  • Options
    #7895
    CazMarch
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭CazMarch


    I won't be contacting him again. Deleted him from my phone. He hasn't replied to anything so far, so I doubt if I'll hear from him. It's the whole waste of time and diesel thing that gets me really! I could have stayed at home and been depressed by Eastenders instead and saved myself a tenner in fuel!


  • Options
    #7896
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    CazMarch wrote: »
    I could have stayed at home and been depressed by Eastenders instead and saved myself a tenner in fuel!

    Lol. oh dear - well we can cheer you up on here instead. Welcome to the OD thread xx


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7897
    knucklehead6
    Registered Users Posts: 6,783 ✭✭✭knucklehead6


    Dovies wrote: »
    Lol. oh dear - well we can cheer you up on here instead. Welcome to the OD thread xx


    yeah. the only difference between us depressing you and eastenders depressing you is that we're interactive about it!! :p


  • Options
    #7898
    CazMarch
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭CazMarch


    Yea, but have you got Sharon's hair extensions?? ;)


  • Options
    #7899
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    knucklehead6 wrote: »
    yeah. the only difference between us depressing you and eastenders depressing you is that we're interactive about it!! :p

    And we can use smiley faces! :D
    Only because there is no crying face over there ----}


  • Options
    #7900
    Meauldsegosha
    Registered Users Posts: 7,598 ✭✭✭Meauldsegosha


    That's a horrible thing to have happen, CazMarch. As others have said you dodged a bullet. I've never been stood up and I would never do that to someone. Had to cancel a date at the last minute but I text him explaining things and offered to meet on a different day.


  • Options
    #7901
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    DerekDGoldfish wrote: »
    I hate when you get a message from somone cute and interesting but lives thousands of miles away, I dont see any point in having a conversation with someone you are never going to meet (I realise Im saying this on an internet forum)

    Can you not change your setting so only people in the country you live in can contact you?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7902
    Shapey Fiend
    Registered Users Posts: 1,997 ✭✭✭Shapey Fiend


    KTRIC wrote: »
    Just getting mails from pervy old women from the sticks at the moment !! :rolleyes:

    You may want to remove jumpers and cake from your list of interests.


  • Options
    #7903
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,218 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    Shapey Fiend wrote: »
    You may want to remove jumpers and cake from your list of interests.

    LOL :pac:


  • Options
    #7904
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    What do you make of this one guys.

    Date arranged for last thurs but he had to cancel as he didnt have any money, he had gotten a cheque from work so it hadnt cleared, fair enough. Rearranged for Monday. So we contacted each other Monday, he said he was free, i asked did he want to meet around 6 and did he mind whether it was near him or me, we are only about 20mins away from each other. He said either was fine, so i suggested somewhere near me.
    Then he replies saying he was waiting to hear from a friend who owes him money as his cheque still hadnt cleared. So i said, so you still dont know if you can meet and he said yeah. So i said well let me know when you can. We had originally said around 6, so i get a text at 5.30 asking if i still wanted to meet. I said, yeah i can do around 7/8 then, at my suggestion, near me. He then said he cant make it up near me as hes had a few?? So i just told him to leave it, to which he replied, that he should have known it was a wind up?? Seriously, you were the one messing me about!!

    Then today i suggest doing something this eve and i he says "Can you pick me up and we go for a drive", seriously?? I said why do i have to collect you?? He doesnt have his car at the mo and he still has no money....
    I said i wouldnt feel comfortable going off on my own somewhere with someone id never met before so just let me know when you can meet for coffee and we can do that.

    Surely a guy wouldnt suggest meeting up and going for a drive and expect a girl to feel safe with that??


  • Options
    #7905
    Jogathon
    Registered Users Posts: 516 ✭✭✭Jogathon


    andreac wrote: »
    What do you make of this one guys.

    Date arranged for last thurs but he had to cancel as he didnt have any money, he had gotten a cheque from work so it hadnt cleared, fair enough. Rearranged for Monday. So we contacted each other Monday, he said he was free, i asked did he want to meet around 6 and did he mind whether it was near him or me, we are only about 20mins away from each other. He said either was fine, so i suggested somewhere near me.
    Then he replies saying he was waiting to hear from a friend who owes him money as his cheque still hadnt cleared. So i said, so you still dont know if you can meet and he said yeah. So i said well let me know when you can. We had originally said around 6, so i get a text at 5.30 asking if i still wanted to meet. I said, yeah i can do around 7/8 then, at my suggestion, near me. He then said he cant make it up near me as hes had a few?? So i just told him to leave it, to which he replied, that he should have known it was a wind up?? Seriously, you were the one messing me about!!

    Then today i suggest doing something this eve and i he says "Can you pick me up and we go for a drive", seriously?? I said why do i have to collect you?? He doesnt have his car at the mo and he still has no money....
    I said i wouldnt feel comfortable going off on my own somewhere with someone id never met before so just let me know when you can meet for coffee and we can do that.

    Surely a guy wouldnt suggest meeting up and going for a drive and expect a girl to feel safe with that??

    He sounds like a complete loser. No money, no car and pissed on a Tuesday afternoon. Right plonker.


  • Options
    #7906
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,218 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    Jogathon wrote: »
    He sounds like a complete loser. No money, no car and pissed on a Tuesday afternoon. Right plonker.

    I couldn't have said it better myself :D


  • Options
    #7907
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Jogathon wrote: »
    He sounds like a complete loser. No money, no car and pissed on a Tuesday afternoon. Right plonker.

    Yeah was giving him the benefit of the doubt, i dont usually. I usually give only give one chance but hes taking the piss i think.

    Then trying to turn around saying i was the one messing him about??

    Even the suggestion of going off for a drive for a chat is very weird. Does he not think that a girl wouldnt feel safe doing something like that with a stranger??


  • Options
    #7908
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    andreac wrote: »
    Even the suggestion of going off for a drive for a chat is very weird. Does he not think that a girl wouldnt feel safe doing something like that with a stranger??

    That sounds like something Larry Murphy would suggest. If he starts driving towards the Wicklow mountains you'd want to be careful.


  • Options
    #7909
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Well for me the person had 7 months left on their visa and i just didnt feel it was worth meeting up as he talked a lot about travelling over the next while. Its just not what Im looking for at the moment. Never say never though, but with the people Im talking about (living here just for the summer, 7 month left on visa, another who was here for a year learning English before planning on studying elsewhere) it just wasnt worth it.

    I'm the same. I mean my profile says, "Looking for a relationship" as, while I'm not opposed to the short-term/more casual dating stuff, ideally I'd like it to at least have the potential to move onto something more long term. When they're only going to be around for a couple of months or so you don't really have that.


  • Options
    #7910
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Galvasean wrote: »
    I'm the same. I mean my profile says, "Looking for a relationship" as, while I'm not opposed to the short-term/more casual dating stuff, ideally I'd like it to at least have the potential to move onto something more long term. When they're only going to be around for a couple of months or so you don't really have that.

    Yeah, I agree. I'd say though having "Looking for a relationship" down will limit the amount of messages/replies you get. Some people will just see that as overly serious and afraid that it will mean commitment from day 1. I would say a lot of the "wants to date but nothing serious" crowd want to date, see how things go and are then open to a relationship possibly. Then of course a lot of them probably do just want casual dating (and then there's a huge group that just want NSA :pac: )

    I suppose it's good to be honest though!


  • Options
    #7911
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Yeah, I agree. I'd say though having "Looking for a relationship" down will limit the amount of messages/replies you get. Some people will just see that as overly serious and afraid that it will mean commitment from day 1. I would say a lot of the "wants to date but nothing serious" crowd want to date, see how things go and are then open to a relationship possibly. Then of course a lot of them probably do just want casual dating (and then there's a huge group that just want NSA :pac: )

    I suppose it's good to be honest though!

    I don't think so at all.

    "wants to date but nothing serious" I woulds see as just wanting ONS or casual flings.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7912
    Meauldsegosha
    Registered Users Posts: 7,598 ✭✭✭Meauldsegosha


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Yeah, I agree. I'd say though having "Looking for a relationship" down will limit the amount of messages/replies you get. Some people will just see that as overly serious and afraid that it will mean commitment from day 1. I would say a lot of the "wants to date but nothing serious" crowd want to date, see how things go and are then open to a relationship possibly. Then of course a lot of them probably do just want casual dating (and then there's a huge group that just want NSA :pac: )

    I suppose it's good to be honest though!

    I avoided profiles with "wants to date but nothing serious" because to me that means they are looking for a ONS or casual hook-up.


  • Options
    #7913
    lg01
    Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭lg01


    Gents, a girl I've started seeing casually has said she wants a threesome - so I have to try to find another girl for us to play with... She said her and a previous partner had tried with some ads on pof etc - but never got anywhere. Where would be a good place to try to find a willing lady can anyone recommend?


  • Options
    #7914
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    mood wrote: »
    I don't think so at all.

    "wants to date but nothing serious" I woulds see as just wanting ONS or casual flings.
    Meauldsegosha wrote: »
    I avoided profiles with "wants to date but nothing serious" because to me that means they are looking for a ONS or casual hook-up.

    Have to say I haven't found this to be the case although I don't doubt for a second that a lot of people with "wants to date but nothing serious" are looking for NSA. However there is an option to specify that they're looking for an "intimate encounter" so I see "wants to date but nothing as serious" as something separate.

    I find you can usually tell from a good written profile what they're after.

    I've been on dates with guys who have had that down on their profile but were open to a relationship but it just didn't work out. I also dated someone for 4 months before who had that on their profile. Granted, we weren't in a serious relationship. But it was more than just hook ups.


  • Options
    #7915
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    I'd say though having "Looking for a relationship" down will limit the amount of messages/replies you get. Some people will just see that as overly serious and afraid that it will mean commitment from day 1.
    mood wrote: »
    "wants to date but nothing serious" I woulds see as just wanting ONS or casual flings.

    Aye. It's been discussed on here several times before and the consensus seems to be that there should be an option for something in between as one seems a bit too casual while the other is a bit too full on.
    Of course, people tend to lie about their inentions which makes the whole thing somewhat moot.


  • Options
    #7916
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Have to say I haven't found this to be the case although I don't doubt for a second that a lot of people with "wants to date but nothing serious" are looking for NSA. However there is an option to specify that they're looking for an "intimate encounter" so I see "wants to date but nothing as serious" as something separate.

    I find you can usually tell from a good written profile what they're after.

    I've been on dates with guys who have had that down on their profile but were open to a relationship but it just didn't work out. I also dated someone for 4 months before who had that on their profile. Granted, we weren't in a serious relationship. But it was more than just hook ups.

    Not always. One guy emailed me. He had a good profile indicating he wanted a relationship. A few email later it was VERY obvious he wanted a ONS.


  • Options
    #7917
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    lg01 wrote: »
    Gents, a girl I've started seeing casually has said she wants a threesome - so I have to try to find another girl for us to play with... She said her and a previous partner had tried with some ads on pof etc - but never got anywhere. Where would be a good place to try to find a willing lady can anyone recommend?

    What with risk of disease and such, would it not be better to find a willing friend rather than a stranger?



    Also, about the being stood up question - I've never done it, but I've been stood up twice. One, I was 18. Had met him on a social site, not a dating site. He texted me to say he had seen me and I was 'too fat' so he left. :pac: At the time, I was a size 12! I'm a 14 now, so I dread to think what he'd call me now. :pac:

    The other time, I met someone online (again, lol). Had been dating him for 4 months, exclusively. He didn't show one day, switched off his phone for a week, pretended it had been lost on the bus. Turned out he had gone on a date with another girl, with the exact same name as me, same interests and hobbies (and I have some unusual hobbies!) and had decided she was better. She ditched him after date 2. :pac:

    I've never, ever stood someone up. Even if I'm repulsed by somebody when I see them (hasn't happened yet, thankfully), I don't think spending an hour in their company is going to kill me!


  • Options
    #7918
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    mood wrote: »
    I don't think so at all.

    "wants to date but nothing serious" I woulds see as just wanting ONS or casual flings.

    Maybe a few of the men want that, but certainly the women don't if they have dating but nothing serious - from my experience anyway.
    mood wrote: »
    Not always. One guy emailed me. He had a good profile indicating he wanted a relationship. A few email later it was VERY obvious he wanted a ONS.

    Well in that case you can't be certain either way, regardless of what they say they're looking for.


  • Options
    #7919
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Maybe a few of the men want that, but certainly the women don't if they have dating but nothing serious - from my experience anyway.



    Well in that case you can't be certain either way, regardless of what they say they're looking for.

    I know. What is written in profiles can't be taken as gospel. Unfortunately some people will lie.


  • Options
    #7920
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    lg01 wrote: »
    Gents, a girl I've started seeing casually has said she wants a threesome

    Lucky Bastard! :pac:


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7921
    sharper
    Registered Users Posts: 1,216 ✭✭✭sharper


    lg01 wrote: »
    Gents, a girl I've started seeing casually has said she wants a threesome - so I have to try to find another girl for us to play with... She said her and a previous partner had tried with some ads on pof etc - but never got anywhere. Where would be a good place to try to find a willing lady can anyone recommend?

    You're probably better off with somewhere like fetlife than the mainstream dating sites. The ratio of men:women is not that different to couples:single women interested in threesomes so you're going to find it hard, especially since you're only seeing each other casually so as someone else mentioned the risk of disease is higher.


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement