The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Larianne

Ask him. He could be thinking the exact same thing!

seeker11

Larianne wrote: »

Ask him. He could be thinking the exact same thing!

Really? Or wait for another while?
I feel like I should know exactly what to say... But words escape me.

Larianne

seeker11 wrote: »

Really? Or wait for another while?
I feel like I should know exactly what to say... But words escape me.

All you have to do is give him a text/call and ask does he want to meet up during the week. Least you'll know where you stand. Communication is key.

seeker11

Ok. It's easy isn't it!
Thanks.

andreac

Armagh, I don't see what that girl has done wrong to be honest. She was up front with you and said she didn't want to see you anymore and now she's a Bitch?? Seriously?

Also, just because she was kissing a guy, which she was perfectly entitled to do, you have had a lucky escape, escape from what??

smallgarden

on the pictures topic i try to put up a range of pictures from looking well to not so much as id hate to meet someone in person and for them to be thats not what she looked like and be dissapointed.it may mean i dont get to that stage but prefer to be realistic

magneticimpulse

seeker11 wrote: »

What do you gurus think?
I had a few dates with a guy... Varied dates, drinks, dinner, take out, movie etc. Chemistry, got on pretty well, good craic, etc. He stayed over on Fri and next day had a day out. At end of date he said nothing about meeting again, either did I. Had a few messages from him since but I see he's still online everyday. Hmmm. Don't know whether to say something or not and my gut is saying nothing. I feel if he's not interested I don't want to waste anymore time and woukd chalk the experience down to 'good-times' but I would be interested in seeing him again. So should I say something, continue to play it cool and say nothing... Btw, I've not really been logging on, I just checked to see if he was.
Tips?

sounds like he is still on the look out and just passing his time with you. Ive met guys from online dating who we're logging on everyday. One guy recently told me he was enjoying the chase but after I stayed at his place a few times he was back checking his online account everyday. In the end he ended it after about 4 months and immediately got with someone from online 2 days after we broke up...he closed his account but he back on everyday now.,..no doubt he lost interest again

seeker11

Ya, when I'm with him things feel like they are great, but if he's still online obviously not... But I know well that you can't ever tell what's going on in someone's mind.
I just don't wanna invest more time in someone who's waiting for the next best thing and wasting time. Thanks for reply.

Larianne

seeker11 wrote: »

Ya, when I'm with him things feel like they are great, but if he's still online obviously not... But I know well that you can't ever tell what's going on in someone's mind.
I just don't wanna invest more time in someone who's waiting for the next best thing and wasting time. Thanks for reply.

On the opposite side to magnetic impulse's post, my friend met her current boyfriend on-line. He was still online a few weeks into the relationship (something another friend of ours noticed but didn't say to the friend) and their relationship progressed and have been together for a year and a half.

magneticimpulse

seeker11 wrote: »

Ya, when I'm with him things feel like they are great, but if he's still online obviously not... But I know well that you can't ever tell what's going on in someone's mind.
I just don't wanna invest more time in someone who's waiting for the next best thing and wasting time. Thanks for reply.

I had the exact feeling....things were great together. He introduced me to his work mates, best friends etc. lots of chemistry, great dates, got on like a house on fire...but he was always checking his online profile. I quizzed him about it after 2 months and he called it off....I managed to explain what I thought so we stayed together....he said he would delete it but he just removed his photo and continued to log on. ( I had created an anonymous account so he didn't know I knew) . We went away etc and 4 months he called it off. I texted and he said he was in a serious relationship 2 days after we broke up...he said she was perfect and he finally deleted his account...something he never did when I was dating him. I'm ranging still I continued to date him as he made a fool out of me, pretended it was great but was secretly searching for the next best thing....he made me feel more of a fool when I asked him why he was still checking and he made out I was 'controlling him'....I wasn't, I just wanted to know what the story was

Galvasean

It's been a few days since I logged in. Logged in there after reading some of the good news on this thread. I didn't last 5 minutes on POF. It seems every profile I click can't seem to string a sentence together. There are good profiles out there. I know this. I must have some weird eco-location/radar system that attracts me to useless 'profiles'.
All things considered though, I did get a chuckle out of a profile I saw which just consisted of:
"no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters
no time wasters"
Clearly, the sense of irony is lost on some people.

Something I was thinking about after seeing someone mention a profile with a massive diva esque list of dos and don'ts.... While in the past I have dismissed/laughed off such profiles, now I cannot help but wonder if they are in fact going the right way about it. I mean, at least they are being honest. A lot of profiles act humble and say they aren't picky, usually just saying, "I just want a nice guy" or "decent man" [whatever that is]. But they appear to be routinely dismissing decent folk by the truckload and not giving them the time of day. Clearly they want something much more specific than any old 'decent' person. Otherwise, surely they'd have gotten one by now? The diva-esque "Don't contact me if:" profiles just seem much more honest. At least in their case you can actually see what it is that they are and are not looking for. So if you don't match up with what they are looking for you can save yourself the time and not mail, as opposed to mailing many profiles which aren't very specific and filter out suitors with invisible criteria.
Anyone agree/disagree? Or am I even making sense at this point?

sharper

Galvasean wrote: »

The diva-esque "Don't contact me if:" profiles just seem much more honest.

I think the problem with the diva-esque profiles isn't so much that they have a list but the contents of the list. They're usually looking for someone to show them a good time and take care of them financially without offering much in return beyond their presence on someone's arm in public.

I do agree people with some list of requirements are demonstrating far more self awareness and honesty than "just looking for a decent man" type profiles. We all know plenty of decent men will be approaching them but get ignored because they're not hot enough, not interesting enough, not athletic enough, not popular enough, don't have a car, don't have a good enough job or any of the other criteria men are typically expected to balance in addition to being decent, caring and having time to date in the first place.

It's not unlike those profiles that go "I love to go out and stay in" or "love to laugh". It tells you nothing about them at all and you know their preference is more complicated and difficult to navigate than they're letting.

I suspect it's down to the attraction/selection model most women use most of the time. Women try to attract men and then select from the men that are expressing interest in them. Online that means they need as many types of men as possible to express an interest so they can select and apply their real criteria later.

Obviously it becomes quickly obvious to most that there's an endless supply of "wana fuk lol" and "how r u" out there so it tends to fall apart and become frustrating. Then it becomes about trying to stem the tide of idiocy in their inbox and adding increasingly off-putting and aggressive statements to their profile.

Real genuine men that are looking for real relationships are in the first instance put off by a lack of real detail in the profile and in the second instance by aggression and negativity in the profile.

It's a wonder our species ever reproduces! Oh wait I forgot to factor alcohol into my equations. Yep 7 billion, it all works out.

Daveysil15

Galvasean wrote: »

Something I was thinking about after seeing someone mention a profile with a massive diva esque list of dos and don'ts.... While in the past I have dismissed/laughed off such profiles, now I cannot help but wonder if they are in fact going the right way about it. I mean, at least they are being honest. A lot of profiles act humble and say they aren't picky, usually just saying, "I just want a nice guy" or "decent man" [whatever that is]. But they appear to be routinely dismissing decent folk by the truckload and not giving them the time of day. Clearly they want something much more specific than any old 'decent' person. Otherwise, surely they'd have gotten one by now? The diva-esque "Don't contact me if:" profiles just seem much more honest. At least in their case you can actually see what it is that they are and are not looking for. So if you don't match up with what they are looking for you can save yourself the time and not mail, as opposed to mailing many profiles which aren't very specific and filter out suitors with invisible criteria.
Anyone agree/disagree? Or am I even making sense at this point?

I kind of agree and disagree. Yes a person should be honest, but having a huge list of demands is unrealistic and really off-putting. It would be better if they just put what they are looking for because it doesn't sound as negative.

In saying that, I never seem to get a reply from the girls who are looking for the "Decent Guy" or "Good Man." They may be every bit as picky as the diva with the never ending list of requirements. I know what I'm looking for and as a man I usually have to initiate first contact, so that's all I can do and just hope for the best.

Larianne

I wouldn't contact anyone with negativity on their profile.

Larianne

a headline:

loadsa stuck up cows on this biacth

ha.

fat__tony

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Whoa... :eek: It's not that unusual for it to feel great for a few dates and then start to feel wrong. She had the decency to tell him out straight that it wasn't working, and she deserves a punch in the face? Seriously?

Sorry, it was a complete over-reaction.

I've experienced similar time-wasting from women in the past so Armaghmagic's story struck a cord with me.

riveratom

fat__tony wrote: »

Sorry, it was a complete over-reaction.

I've experienced similar time-wasting from women in the past so Armaghmagic's story struck a cord with me.

Mate, I think the point was that the woman was perfectly entitled to call it off whenever she wanted, if she wasn't feeling it.

Would it have been better for armaghmagic if she had continued on with things, not really feeling it but not wanting to hurt his feelings, while he thought everything was hunky-dory, getting more and more invested in things emotionally, financially, etc?!

It's not time-wasting, it's just called making a decision when something isn't right for you!

Micky 32

Yipee! Have a date with a nice cute one tonight :-)

jay92

Micky 32 wrote: »

Yipee! Have a date with a nice cute one tonight :-)

Lucky b****** lol good luck bro

miamee

Just on the topic of people with long lists of what potential partners must be or not be, I think its good to give a relatively specific idea of what you want but at the same time you have to be open to meeting people that might not 100% match your list.

Practically every person in my life has some habit, trait or whatever that on paper/in text would be a turn off but in reality doesn't matter a bit as they, as a person, are great and I love them as they are, warts and all.*

*none of them have actual warts

Larianne

Got an invite to a threesome...I think. Well it was to 'date' a couple. Not sure how that works exactly...

knucklehead6

Larianne wrote: »

Got an invite to a threesome...I think. Well it was to 'date' a couple. Not sure how that works exactly...

Wasn't there someone on here talkin about a threesome a few weeks back? Could be the same guy!

miamee

Larianne wrote: »

Got an invite to a threesome...I think. Well it was to 'date' a couple. Not sure how that works exactly...

I've had one of those invitations before too, I politely declined

miamee

I'm back to OD now by the way...well as soon as I can face going over my profiles

knucklehead6

miamee wrote: »

I'm back to OD now by the way...well as soon as I can face going over my profiles

Ah yes. The dreaded profile refresh.

LollieB

aaand I'm back in the game, after meeting (and being pursued by) a lovely man in RL only for him to disappear just as quick.

in a bold move, I uploaded a profile pic of me sans make up & hairdo- trying to be as honest as possible after seeing too many duck face, caked on make up profile pics!

wish me luck!

Larianne

It's mad. I get the most compliments about a photo of me wearing glasses and no make-up (spots visbile and all!).

sharper

Larianne wrote: »

It's mad. I get the most compliments about a photo of me wearing glasses and no make-up (spots visbile and all!).

This is always seems like an oddly controversial opinion but I prefer women looking as natural as possible. A single picture with someone "done up" is nice and well but if they're all like that it gives the impression they won't go outside the door without 45 minutes worth of makeup.

And I thought it was well agreed glasses are hot

Larianne

sharper wrote: »

This is always seems like an oddly controversial opinion but I prefer women looking as natural as possible. A single picture with someone "done up" is nice and well but if they're all like that it gives the impression they won't go outside the door without 45 minutes worth of makeup.

And I thought it was well agreed glasses are hot

Well I don't wear a lot of make-up usually anyways. Must be the dark rimmed glasses so.

Esoteric_

Larianne wrote: »

Well I don't wear a lot of make-up usually anyways. Must be the dark rimmed glasses so.

I always get more positive comments on my photos with glasses than without. Good thing, since I'm feckin' blind. :pac: