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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**
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I can be guilty of this, sometimes I would favorite someone if I didn't have time to message at that moment or didn't know what to say so that I could find them again, and yeah there is always the hope they would message firstTchaikovsky wrote: »What's the deal with the Favourites List? I'd say about 90% of the girls that added me on that have never messaged me. It doesn't make sense.. unless they're waiting for me to make the move. (note that some of these girls have no photos on their profile
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Davey Davey Davey! You had a nice chat with a PE teacher - its all good mate. I'm presuming she was attractive. So she didn't fall madly in love with you .. big deal. Look on the positives and take it as a confidence boost .
She politely declined your advances and what do you do? Instead of noting the positves and spotting the negatives to hopefully not go there again you give up for the next six weeks! If you are going to give up that easily how are you going to maintain a relationship if it comes?
What does taking a break from OD for a few weeks have to do with maintaining a relationship? Plenty of people take breaks from it every now and then, its no big deal.
I wasn't expecting her to fall in love with me either. I've been declined plenty of times. I don't take it personally. It's just the way it is. I'm not giving up. I'm just taking a break for a while. There's nothing wrong with that.0 -
Apologies for the multi-quote by the way! But I did try to edit the parts I was quoting!
sarah42012 wrote: »My problem is that I tend to be quite formal when meeting ppl, it takes me awhile to 'loosen up' and be myself. Most ppl think I'm quiet and reserved and my friends think this is hilarious as I'm the complete opposite! I would be worried that a date would end up being a horrible awkward interview-esque type meeting cos I can be so quiet
Anyone else the same?
I can be quite like that too, and I understand if the guy I'm on a date with is the same! While it's not un-natural not too (some people are great at meeting people for the first time!) In a way, for OD, the first meet is an interview-ish.
I kind of like if someone else seems slightly awkward but still shows they're making an effort at the beginning because I think it seems like they're interested and their intentions are on the right path. I always distrust someone who seems like they're telling me very personal stories when I don't know them that well. But maybe that's just me!smileyj1987 wrote: »The best thing you could do in that situation is to just pretend they are a friend you could also look through all your mails and find things to talk about by doing that . Like if they have a hobby ask have they been doing it lately or ask them how the likes of work is going.
This is what I do for any date (online or IRL) I can get really nervous, so just have to put it in my head that it's just another night out meeting a friend and then that helps me not make it into such a big deal that I get worked up.Mr_Spaceman wrote: »The bohemian, bookish 'look' is much more attractive than a heavily made up image for many...
!
While I may not have the bookish look I fought the urge of just putting up pictures where I was fully made up, and decided that I should put in a mixture of those where I'm dressed up and ones with no make up, taken by a webcam and good light in my kitchen :eek: Kitchen ones weren't so pretty, but at least they would give an accurate representation of what I look like...no surprises (but also what I CAN look like dressed up :cool: )Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »Had to explain to her than I prefer to chat just a little longer before meeting someone... I know it's ridiculous but I can't help but wonder if it's legit!
Agree with the others when they said it can be legit. I can, and have, jumped into a date when I thought there might be something there. As a girl, you can get many random emails and many ones that you just know nothings "there", when you feel a spark on personality, it's better to meet sooner rather than later to see if the physical attraction is there too.Tchaikovsky wrote: »What's the deal with the Favourites List? I'd say about 90% of the girls that added me on that have never messaged me. It doesn't make sense.. unless they're waiting for me to make the move. (note that some of these girls have no photos on their profile)
I did that by accident when I first joined POF. I didn't know they were notified - thought it was private like OKC! Because there were so many people, I tried to whittle down the list by adding men to my favourites planning to go through them later on who I'd contact. My apologies to any guy if I added you to mine and then removed you when I realised 0 -
Daveysil15 wrote: »What does taking a break from OD for a few weeks have to do with maintaining a relationship? Plenty of people take breaks from it every now and then, its no big deal.
I wasn't expecting her to fall in love with me either. I've been declined plenty of times. I don't take it personally. It's just the way it is. I'm not giving up. I'm just taking a break for a while. There's nothing wrong with that.
Agreed with this and your last post 100%. It's pointless being on a dating site if you're not gonna be available for dating for over a month. I can understand being busy for a week or two, there have been times I've had to ask a guy to wait 2 weeks because I had plans or was broke or whatever, but over a month of a wait is ludicrous.
sffc, I'd imagine that this was just the final straw that made Davey want to take a break. I don't consider that to be giving up. If you're disheartened, you SHOULD take a break!0 -
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Well I mailed your one a bit more, she seems lovely, so should be heading on a date next week hopefully. Also had an absolute BELTER of a girl on OKC agree to a date quite easily too! I'm quite hopeful of that one
I actually almost have too many dates right now, but I really shouldn't complain as I know it can be tough to get replies at times. Just keep plugging away lads, I had a ****ty week about 2-3 weeks ago with no replies or decent connections, so it can do a complete turnaround in no time.0 -
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Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »Well I mailed your one a bit more, she seems lovely, so should be heading on a date next week hopefully. Also had an absolute BELTER of a girl on OKC agree to a date quite easily too! I'm quite hopeful of that one
I actually almost have too many dates right now, but I really shouldn't complain as I know it can be tough to get replies at times. Just keep plugging away lads, I had a ****ty week about 2-3 weeks ago with no replies or decent connections, so it can do a complete turnaround in no time.
Good man Jimmy. You're an inspiration to the rest of us brassed-off OD blokes.
Fair play on the dates too. He who dares!0 -
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Just had a guy ask would I go down on him because he's studying and stressed, had never talked to him before tonight, he's the 6th no strings request today don't know if I'm just giving off some vibe maybe I need to rearrange my photos . It's a bit disheartening 0
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Yeah pretty much she probably is too shy/lazy/ doesn't know what to say to message and so ishoping you will message firstMr_Spaceman wrote: »Okay so. I got this from POF earlier - 'XXXXX has expressed interest in you! (This is a flirt option for women)'
Is this a cute and cunning lady strategy to get slow people like me messaging?
She doesn't appear to be too shabby either 0 -
Just had a guy ask would I go down on him because he's studying and stressed, had never talked to him before tonight, he's the 6th no strings request today don't know if I'm just giving off some vibe maybe I need to rearrange my photos . It's a bit disheartening
Nope alot you will get alot of that I logged in on my friends profile yesterday and she gets about 15 messages like that a day ! The only reason I logged in was because I didn't believe her .
These are two messages I remember the most :
" wots da craic ya lil wetzer "
" id frenchie da knacker off ye "
So just delete them and move on .0 -
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Yeah I just thought that may die off a bit as its not like I'm new meat . If its one of those messages yeah I just delete but a lot of times its about 5 messages on it gets said.
Ah if thats the case just keep messaging away and when they start that crap delete the message and block them . You are probably getting them messages because alot of the men signing up for these sites think they can get their hole off them fairly easy because the women who sign up must be desperate . I would just keep fishing away and hopefully someday soon a decent and respectable man will message you 0 -
smileyj1987 wrote: »
I would just keep fishing away and hopefully someday soon a decent and respectable man will message you
Believe it or not Littlefox there are still some of us out there!!0 -
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The sad thing is that people like this will actually find someone to go out with :rolleyes:
I'd delete, block and move on to be honest...possibly after telling them how disgusting they are :P
Never reply to messages like that ladies . These guys are internet versions of flashers . Your reaction (good OR bad) is the thrill . Report alright but otherwise - ignore ignore ignore
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These guys are internet versions of flashers . Your reaction (good OR bad) is the thrill . Report alright but otherwise - ignore ignore ignore
Lol very true. One thing I have noticed lately is a lot of new users on POF are looking for 'intimate encounters'. Each to their own but why do they have to have pics of their naked kn**s as their main pic. Only way to report them is to click on their profile and report for not being a headshot (:eek:). You can email the site too but surely it would be better to have another 'report' button somewhere on the site? Am I making sense?0
This discussion has been closed.
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