The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

mood

Ice Storm wrote: »

I've recently decided to venture into the world of online dating. I've had a profile on OKC for a while but never had a photo up and never really logged on.

A couple of weeks ago, I put up a photo and my profile has been getting lot more views, but not many messages - assume this means my profile or photo is rubbish.

One of my problems is, I hate all photos of me and I can't find anything that I'd be happy to put on my profile. I'd hate to have a misleading photo where I look better than in reality but I assume that a lot of people do this?

Also, anything I have read about online dating would suggest that I would need to have a thick skin which I definitely don't have. I'm not sure I want one either!!

In my experience you get most views/email when you are online. If you are not logging in them you can't expect much.

Ice Storm

mood wrote: »

In my experience you get most views/email when you are online. If you are not logging in them you can't expect much.

Thanks, I've been logging in a lot more lately. I guess I need to make a bit more of an effort with my profile.

I'm not really ready to start messaging guys yet; not sure if I could handle the rejection!

mood

Ice Storm wrote: »

Thanks, I've been logging in a lot more lately. I guess I need to make a bit more of an effort with my profile.

I'm not really ready to start messaging guys yet; not sure if I could handle the rejection!

I think most people take awhile to get comfortable with it but if your not ready maybe it's best if you delete your profile until you you feel ready.

Also, How long is more? From personal experience you get more and better emails while you are online. Logging on for 5 mins a day to see if anyone emailed you is a waste of time IMO.

Ice Storm

Thanks, appreciate the advice.

I was thinking of deactivating my profile for a while, ended up going online and messaging someone. :eek:

If I don't get a reply I'll prob take a break.

msg11

Ice Storm wrote: »

Thanks, appreciate the advice.

I was thinking of deactivating my profile for a while, ended up going online and messaging someone. :eek:

If I don't get a reply I'll prob take a break.

Wouldn't let it knock you back to be honest. The algorithm POF uses is quite strange it seems to match based on what person you clicked last and who clicked on them last or something along them lines. So maybe try also keep your clicks to what really interests you.

Hang in there , could take a while but you'll get someone that will mail you.

Just realized your not using POF..

Ice Storm

msg11 wrote: »

Wouldn't let it knock you back to be honest. The algorithm POF uses is quite strange it seems to match based on what person you clicked last and who clicked on them last or something along them lines. So maybe try also keep your clicks to what really interests you.

Hang in there , could take a while but you'll get someone that will mail you.

Just realized your not using POF..

I was using POF a while ago but deleted my profile.

When I first set up my OD profiles I really didn't have a lot of free time so they were just there in the background and I got emails from time to time.

Now I do have a bit more spare time so I thought I would give it a go but I haven't made a huge effort with my profile. Plus I'm a bit paranoid about having a pic up on the internet (very private!) so I'm not totally committed to it if you know what I mean.

But I'm not really meeting people in other ways so I'd like to try. Unfortunately I haven't really been attracted to anyone who's messaged me. One of the problems with OD is that you have the opportunity to be way too picky. I don't know if I would have chosen any of my previous boyfriends online if I had the opportunity. It's all so new to me...

Edit: Sometimes I get messages to say that someone "chose" me i.e. rated me profile 4 or 5 stars. Am I the only one who thinks of this?



:pac:

Galvasean

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I cannot for the life of me understand any man who would want to receive a 'sorry but you're not my type' message. Do guys send these messages? I'd guess not nearly as many.

I got one of those not too long ago. While it was phrased in a much more sincere way than the one you got, I must admit that I was actually quite happy to recieve it. Pathetic as it sounds, it was nice to have my existence acknowledged for a change (Bear in mind, this was off the back of a streak where 20 mails went unresponded to).

Daveysil15

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I cannot for the life of me understand any man who would want to receive a 'sorry but you're not my type' message.

Galvasean wrote: »

I got one of those not too long ago. While it was phrased in a much more sincere way than the one you got, I must admit that I was actually quite happy to recieve it. Pathetic as it sounds, it was nice to have my existence acknowledged for a change (Bear in mind, this was off the back of a streak where 20 mails went unresponded to).

I don't mind getting one of those messages if she tells me straight away. Assuming they're not rude about it its fine. What I don't like however, is when you've been chatting to someone for a few days and then you decide to ask them out, then they tell you that you're not their type. You shouldn't be engaging in conversation with someone on a dating site if you've no intention of dating them imo. If you want to chat use a chat room.

GrumPy

Rejoined POF too. Nothing ventured, nothing gained n' all!

Mince Pie

So for those who had dates this weekend, how did it go???

msg11

Just read one of the funniest profiles on POF, wouldn't surprise me if it was someone from Boards. She was on a fairly serious rant about lads e-mailing her well utter ****e.

I did take the time out of my day and sent her a mail just to thank her for making me laugh.

If you are on here

riveratom

Mince Pie wrote: »

So for those who had dates this weekend, how did it go???

I had my second date with a gorgeous girl and it went really, really well (:D). She is very intelligent and smart too which is such a turn-on as well.

It's early days and all still, but to all the guys out there, stick it out with the mails as there are some cracking girls out there...

Mr_Spaceman

Ice Storm wrote: »

One of the problems with OD is that you have the opportunity to be way too picky. I don't know if I would have chosen any of my previous boyfriends online if I had the opportunity. It's all so new to me...

This is a very fair and accurate point.

Now, it's well established in OD that men tend to get precious little replies for many messages sent (unless you're very lucky). It's the way the wind blows, unfortunately, as I know only too well.

Women on the other hand, generally speaking, can sift through a lot more messages received and profiles and go: 'No... no.... no..... maybe.... but no' etc.

Too much choice can lead to not making a choice at all.

mood

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

This is a very fair and accurate point.

Now, it's well established in OD that men tend to get precious little replies for many messages sent (unless you're very lucky). It's the way the wind blows, unfortunately, as I know only too well.

Women on the other hand, generally speaking, can sift through a lot more messages received and profiles and go: 'No... no.... no..... maybe.... but no' etc.

Too much choice can lead to not making a choice at all.

That vast majority of messages I have got are from men who I feel are not suited to me. It's not that I'm being very picky but I'm not willing to travel the length of the country to meet someone I never meet or I'm not going to get involved with a man 15 years older or someone who is into drugs etc. From what I read here women do get more messages but it quality that counts not quantity unfortunately.

Mr_Spaceman

To what extent does age come into this?

I get the impression most posters on here are 20s-early 30s and I imagine it's a bit easier in terms of getting messages and regular dates.

The older I get the harder I'm finding OD. I'm 43 and even a couple of years ago I had a wee bit more luck (that's not saying much though!).

Now I'm simply finding the whole thing a waste of time.

mood

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

To what extent does age come into this?

I get the impression most posters on here are 20s-early 30s and I imagine it's a bit easier in terms of getting messages and regular dates.

The older I get the harder I'm finding OD. I'm 43 and even a couple of years ago I had a wee bit more luck (that's not saying much though!).

Now I'm simply finding the whole thing a waste of time.

My advice would be to only message women around your own age.

Esoteric_

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

To what extent does age come into this?

I get the impression most posters on here are 20s-early 30s and I imagine it's a bit easier in terms of getting messages and regular dates.

The older I get the harder I'm finding OD. I'm 43 and even a couple of years ago I had a wee bit more luck (that's not saying much though!).

Now I'm simply finding the whole thing a waste of time.

I'm early 20s (23 to be precise), and I've found that there are a LOT of users in their mid-30s and upwards. That said, they all seem to be messaging younger women (from my personal experience), so maybe they want to feel young again or something. :pac:

What age range are you messaging? My personal limit for people I'll go out with would be 10 years older than me, so there may be some scope for messaging women a bit younger than you.

Mr_Spaceman

mood wrote: »

My advice would be to only message women around your own age.

I only message women aged 35 plus. I'm not stupid.

Galvasean

What's the story with all those girls who have "wants a relationship" on their profile but then announce that their intention is to go travelling for a year or two in the very close future?
Is there any much point in looking for a relationship when you won't be in the country in a few months time?

Daveysil15

I was using the google image upload feature today. Wow... what an eye opener. I was talking to a girl on POF recently who I thought might be a fake. She was one of the model types. So I downloaded one of her photos, uploaded it to google images and I found her in a college fcuk fest video.

I tried it on a few other profiles for the hell of it. I found a few models and porn stars. There was one girl who looked completely normal in her profile pics, even had a few photos of herself out with friends, when I google imaged her I got a link to a porn site where there was some photos of her getting it on with another girl. I was shocked. Needless to say I'll be using that feature in the future before I commit to anything. You can't be too sure.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I was using the google image upload feature today. Wow... what an eye opener. I was talking to a girl on POF recently who I thought might be a fake. She was one of the model types. So I downloaded one of her photos, uploaded it to google images and I found her in a college fcuk fest video.

I tried it on a few other profiles for the hell of it. I found a few models and porn stars. There was one girl who looked completely normal in her profile pics, even had a few photos of herself out with friends, when I google imaged her I got a link to a porn site where there was some photos of her getting it on with another girl. I was shocked. Needless to say I'll be using that feature in the future before I commit to anything. You can't be too sure.

But maybe it's not always accurate! I thought that thing only showed site where the exact same photo is like facebook/twitter etc.

Galvasean

Saw a profile that read, "Mail me if u think you're hot"

*Challenge accepted* methinks

"Hi there. I think I'm hot. No one else does, but I do. I once fell into a lake because I was so mesmerised by my reflection..."

I'm turning into a troll aren't I?

Larianne

Well I laughed.

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

But maybe it's not always accurate! I thought that thing only showed site where the exact same photo is like facebook/twitter etc.

No it searches for photos that are similar. So if you upload a photo of a model for example, it could give you a number of different websites with her photos. It was definitely the girl from the POF profile.

It's a useful feature I must admit. I googled a couple of my own photos just to make sure I didn't show up in any dodgy websites. It just found my facebook page. I may start doing a bit of porn, get myself noticed. :pac:

Larianne

Daveysil15 wrote: »

No it searches for photos that are similar. So if you upload a photo of a model for example, it could give you a number of different websites with her photos. It was definitely the girl from the POF profile.

It's a useful feature I must admit. I googled a couple of my own photos just to make sure I didn't show up in any dodgy websites. It just found my facebook page. I may start doing a bit of porn, get myself noticed. :pac:

So there's loads of Irish Porn stars on POF? Interesting, to say the least.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

No it searches for photos that are similar. So if you upload a photo of a model for example, it could give you a number of different websites with her photos. It was definitely the girl from the POF profile.

It's a useful feature I must admit. I googled a couple of my own photos just to make sure I didn't show up in any dodgy websites. It just found my facebook page. I may start doing a bit of porn, get myself noticed. :pac:

Maybe she just looks like that porn star. If it just looks for similar photos it may not be her.

mood

Larianne wrote: »

So there's loads of Irish Porn stars on POF? Interesting, to say the least.

Is there really a porn industry in Ireland!!!

wobblyknees

wobblyknees wrote: »

Dinner and then music organised for Saturday evening. I think she likes me.

Ok, so that was sha-mazing. She is brilliant. That is all.

Daveysil15

Larianne wrote: »

So there's loads of Irish Porn stars on POF? Interesting, to say the least.

You'd never know who you'd be talking to. I suppose some people will do drastic things to make money these days.

Bobby42

OK so I seem to be stuck in rut so I'm gonna try OD.

Is it better to stick with one site or have a couple of profiles going?