The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

BoyJohn129

riveratom wrote: »

How long has it been since the date? If it has been a few days and there has been no texting then I don't think there is anything there...

Big difference between getting on well, and actual chemistry...

Last night....

Galvasean

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

Last night....

That's not too long. If she texted you alst to say she had a good time then she might be waiting on you to ask her out again.
Best of luck!

riveratom

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

Last night....

Ah right well that's good then!!

BoyJohn129

riveratom wrote: »

Ah right well that's good then!!

Hope so, I do like her!

Pepe LeFrits

Larianne wrote: »

Honey-ec wrote: »

Deafening silence on OKC since I changed my pic to the dark hair. Ah well!

I think it really suits you!

Listen to Larry, she knows her onions.

errr, I mean, +1.

andreac

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

Hope so, I do like her!

Well if you like her, let her know. Dont leave her hanging. If i went on a date and i didnt hear anything for a day or two id think he wasnt interested really. Even send a short text saying looking forward to meeting up again and ask when she might be free?

Yes, theres a huge difference between getting on well and actual chemistry... ive had that this week with a lovely guy. Thankfully he was really nice and a complete gent when i said i wasnt feeling it.

Honey-ec

riveratom wrote: »

How long has it been since the date? If it has been a few days and there has been no texting then I don't think there is anything there...

riveratom wrote: »

Come on dude, I was mainly just trying to make Honey-ec feel better

Don't patronise me. I'm not stupid and it's really not required.

riveratom

Honey-ec wrote: »

Don't patronise me. I'm not stupid and it's really not required.

You know, it's funny how I knew you'd come back with that. It might surprise you to hear this, but I don't think you're stupid, and I was being light-hearted.

Cheers for proving me right anyway!

Panthro

This spate ends now folks.

Shapey Fiend

Never seen they love each other, they hate each other, no wait, they love each other again happen in real life but there must be some basis in reality for all those romantic comedy scripts.

hollypink

Was chatting on pof with someone who seemed nice, plenty in common etc for the past week. Logged on this morning to reply to his last message and...user deleted :-(

sffc

hollypink wrote: »

Was chatting on pof with someone who seemed nice, plenty in common etc for the past week. Logged on this morning to reply to his last message and...user deleted :-(

Take heart Holly - maybe bullet dodged. Maybe their wife found the profile- you just don't know ;-)

BoyJohn129

Well appears you lad might have been right.

I'm slightly shocked to say the least.

Larianne

hollypink wrote: »

Was chatting on pof with someone who seemed nice, plenty in common etc for the past week. Logged on this morning to reply to his last message and...user deleted :-(

Sometimes this happens, for whatever reason.. people get píssed off with the site, RL stuff gets in the way, they meet some in RL or someone spots their profile. Pretty crap though when you're getting on etc.

One of the dudes I am supposed to meet is still holding out on the exchange of phone numbers (wants to meet then exchange numbers, wtf?) so I said good luck with online dating. Waste of my time.

Who meets someone without a phone number off them?

hollypink

Larianne wrote: »

Sometimes this happens, for whatever reason.. people get píssed off with the site, RL stuff gets in the way, they meet some in RL or someone spots their profile. Pretty crap though when you're getting on etc.

One of the dudes I am supposed to meet is still holding out on the exchange of phone numbers (wants to meet then exchange numbers, wtf?) so I said good luck with online dating. Waste of my time.

Who meets someone without a phone number off them?

Yeah I know there are lots of reasons, just a bit disheartened right now.

I entirely agree on exchanging phone numbers, I'd have done the same. I wonder why he doesnt want to.

miamee

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

Well appears you lad might have been right.

I'm slightly shocked to say the least.

Aw sorry to hear that, was reading yesterday and hoping everyone was jumping to conclusions

Galvasean

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

Well appears you lad might have been right.

I'm slightly shocked to say the least.

Sorry, I'm not really sure what this means. What happened?

Larianne wrote: »

One of the dudes I am supposed to meet is still holding out on the exchange of phone numbers (wants to meet then exchange numbers, wtf?) so I said good luck with online dating. Waste of my time.

Who meets someone without a phone number off them?

Recipe for disaster: what if one of you gets delayed (I've been on dates where people got delayed by anything up to [and in one case over] an hour)? You wouldn't know if you were being stood up or not.
Not like it's hard to block someone's number if they turn out to be a weirdo.

BoyJohn129

miamee wrote: »

Aw sorry to hear that, was reading yesterday and hoping everyone was jumping to conclusions

Well I'm not jumping to conclusions yet. The date went really well, we discussed going out drinking properly, got a text the next morning saving it was a lovely first date followed by a winky face. She said she'd see me again when the first date was finishing up.

I haven't actually asked for a second date yet, just sent a reply to the lovely date message followed by one text last night. I haven't hear anything back from either.

I'm going to let things lie for a while, I don't want to pressurise it. If I haven't heard anything over the weekend then I'll ask for a second date etc... The second date would be like Tuesday or Wednesday next anyway.

I'm not overly familiar with this situation - is it normal for people just to drop off the face of the earth?

BoyJohn129

Galvasean wrote: »

Sorry, I'm not really sure what this means. What happened?

Nothing too much just sent an innocuous text and haven't got a reply 12 hours later.

Seems to have slightly dropped off the face of the earth for the moment.

Galvasean

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

I'm not overly familiar with this situation - is it normal for people just to drop off the face of the earth?

Sadly, it's a very common situation. A lot of people would rather go into hiding until you take the hint rather tahn tell you out straight. It's the height of rudeness/cowardice IMO, but seems the done thing in relation to OD unfortunately.

Tchaikovsky

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

I'm not overly familiar with this situation - is it normal for people just to drop off the face of the earth?

Unfortunately dude, it is.

I've been in your exact same situation countless times; lovely date, easy conversation and hints at another. If you're doubting already and waiting for a reply that takes less than 30 seconds then save yourself the internal dialogue and just move on to the next girl who will hopefully be more straight-up with you.

This girl probably thinks she's saving you the hurt of rejection by giving you the slight impression that she's interested but then by her radio silence, hoping you'll get the message without her having to do anything.

Online dating is great for making initial contact with people, but when it comes to the possibility of anything romantic or of any substance it is woeful, so take it with a pinch of salt.



God I'm such a cynic

Galvasean

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

God I'm such a cynic

Some would call you realist

BoyJohn129

Galvasean wrote: »

Sadly, it's a very common situation. A lot of people would rather go into hiding until you take the hint rather tahn tell you out straight. It's the height of rudeness/cowardice IMO, but seems the done thing in relation to OD unfortunately.

Yea, I really don't understand why just a brief text to say there wasn't anything there couldn't be sent.

What really gets me though is that I didn't get the impression that there was going to be an issue. Usually I'm pretty good at gauging a situation but it possible that I go this one completely wrong.

In terms of chemistry do people always expect an initial "I want to rip the clothes off you feel" and if they don't get that they call it quits and move on? There was plenty of body contact etc... in that our legs were almost interlocked etc... while we were chatting in the pub etc...

Personally, a first date for me is always to get to know someone and see if you and chat and laugh etc... at ease. Like after the first part of the date she had amble opportunity to call it a night. I actually asked her if she wanted to because of work in the morning but we stayed out. We ended up being the last people in the people at closing and probably would have stay there for another two hours if they weren't closing!

Frickin being a nice guy can be a real pain in the ass!

BoyJohn129

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

Unfortunately dude, it is.

I've been in your exact same situation countless times; lovely date, easy conversation and hints at another. If you're doubting already and waiting for a reply that takes less than 30 seconds then save yourself the internal dialogue and just move on to the next girl who will hopefully be more straight-up with you.

This girl probably thinks she's saving you the hurt of rejection by giving you the slight impression that she's interested but then by her radio silence, hoping you'll get the message without her having to do anything.

Online dating is great for making initial contact with people, but when it comes to the possibility of anything romantic or of any substance it is woeful, so take it with a pinch of salt.



God I'm such a cynic

I'll switch the internal dialogue off for the day soon enough.

Online daters really do seem to be such cynics!!

Galvasean

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

In terms of chemistry do people always expect an initial "I want to rip the clothes off you feel" and if they don't get that they call it quits and move on?

It seems to be the case with a lot of people. I've lost count of how many "You're a lovely guy, but there's no spark" texts I've got after one date that lasted under an hour. I honestly think people's expectations can e a bit too high in relation to OD. Very few relationships that come from IRL are a result of 'love at first sight' (that's actually called 'lust' btw), but yet people seem to expect it from OD.
The mind, she boggles!

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

Online daters really do seem to be such cynics!!

We used to be lovely people. Then the weight of the world crushed our spirit :pac:

BoyJohn129

Galvasean wrote: »

It seems to be the case with a lot of people. I've lost count of how many "You're a lovely guy, but there's no spark" texts I've got after one date that lasted under an hour. I honestly think people's expectations can e a bit too high in relation to OD. Very few relationships that come from IRL are a result of 'love at first sight' (that's actually called 'lust' btw), but yet people seem to expect it from OD.
The mind, she boggles!



We used to be lovely people. Then the weight of the world crushed our spirit :pac:

Exactly, I think you need to get to know someone before you can make a proper judgement. Well this date lasted the guts of 6.5-7 hours! There wasn't an awkward moment during it.

Galvasean

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

Well this date lasted the guts of 6.5-7 hours! There wasn't an awkward moment during it.

That is a little perplexing. Based on everything you've been saying, it sounds like you both had a great time. I can't imagine someone sticking out a 6/7 hour date when they weren't feeling the chemistry/spark/magic-elusive-feelgood-factor.

Tchaikovsky

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

Exactly, I think you need to get to know someone before you can make a proper judgement. Well this date lasted the guts of 6.5-7 hours! There wasn't an awkward moment during it.

It's incredibly puzzling.

People just overthink and box tick post-date and because there's the sweetshop mentality, end up crossing off a perfectly good person.

Me, I'm an attractive, intelligent, funny, interesting guy, but I've never gotten past a third date with a girl from online dating. I don't give up because at this stage I just want to prove that it can be done, but my expectations are far lower pre- meet up.
Just don't let it get to you because it's her loss and you can take greater satisfaction when you do meet that great girl.

What was that line from Vanilla Sky, "the sweet is never so sweet without the bitter".

BoyJohn129

Galvasean wrote: »

That is a little perplexing. Based on everything you've been saying, it sounds like you both had a great time. I can't imagine someone sticking out a 6/7 hour date when they weren't feeling the chemistry/spark/magic-elusive-feelgood-factor.

I know! Well I know she was pretty busy yesterday so I can understand why she didn't reply yesterday but I would have thought I would have got a brief reply to my text last night.

Yup and if the pub hadn't closed the date would have been longer. Plus I openly gave her the perfect opportunity to get out if she wanted earlier.

The taxi driver was convinced there'd be a second date as well! He even gave me his number and told me to ring him if I didn't get a second date he'd give me a free fare!

Anyway I'm going to play it by year for the weekend and see how the land lies on Monday.

BoyJohn129

Damn f**king Simon Cowell for creating the X-factor!