The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Jimmy Bottlehead

Galvasean wrote: »

So, I got a reply there. That's two in the space of one week. That's more than I've had in the last month! Now, to see if I can get reply #2 and get a conversation going.

Velleys and mountains.
When it rains, it pours.
And other clichéd sayings

Fair play man, I think once you get a couple of replies the confidence shines through and makes it easier to get more replies. Hope they turn up some fun dates!

Galvasean

Seriously, POF, stop logging me out mid message. I'm actually doing well for once and all you want to do is destroy me :rolleyes:

feylya

Huh, it seems that I'm a pretty high match with a boardsie on OKC. Interesting.

LittleFox

So have the rescheduled date on sat with the guy ive been chatting to for 6 months, I think being sent to hospital was a legitimate reason for having to cancel last time he seems keen anyway so that's always nice

Galvasean

LittleFox wrote: »

So have the rescheduled date on sat with the guy ive been chatting to for 6 months, I think being sent to hospital was a legitimate reason for having to cancel last time he seems keen anyway so that's always nice

I know just the place for your date too....

LittleFox

Galvasean wrote: »

I know just the place for your date too....

Ha I'm not making any promises were meeting around 4 or so as I got the lovely morning shift after the Christmas party so shall see how we are going come 8

Galvasean

LittleFox wrote: »

Ha I'm not making any promises were meeting around 4 or so as I got the lovely morning shift after the Christmas party so shall see how we are going come 8

If things are going well bring him to to the charity thing. He'll be impressed by your charitiness. If they don't go well (God forbid) nothing beats a good comedy show to up the mood!

D_murph

Galvasean wrote: »

Is there any way of changing your POF user name? I'm fed up with mine. There doesn't seem to be an option for it in 'edit profile'.

There used to be an option before to do so alright but it seems to have disappeared. Dunno when this happened .

Insect Overlord

Galvasean wrote: »

Is there any way of changing your POF user name? I'm fed up with mine. There doesn't seem to be an option for it in 'edit profile'.

D_murph wrote: »

There used to be an option before to do so alright but it seems to have disappeared. Dunno when this happened .

Scroll to the very bottom of the Edit Profile page. It should be in one of the boxes under Essential Information.

G-Money

So I got about 3-4 replies in the space of a few days. One of the girls actually sent me a flirt/expression of interested. So I mailed her and we swapped a few mails and silence since. It looks like she's been online since but hasn't replied. I don't get it, why bother getting in touch in the first place if you're not interested.

Siuin

G-Money wrote: »

So I got about 3-4 replies in the space of a few days. One of the girls actually sent me a flirt/expression of interested. So I mailed her and we swapped a few mails and silence since. It looks like she's been online since but hasn't replied. I don't get it, why bother getting in touch in the first place if you're not interested.

I've done that a few times myself- some guys just seem to tick all the right boxes when I read their profile, but then when I start messaging them I realise that we're on completely different levels. I can't speak for your situation, but once I begin to realise that I'm not as compatible with the guy as I had previously thought I tend to just let the conversation taper off.

stargazer 68

Had a thought last night - as one does - is there any really honest or blunt thing you would love to put on your profile but haven't got the bottle?

Mine would be something along:

'If you have more baggage than Aer Lingus jog on. I have had my fill of scheming ex wives and spineless men who roll over and allow themselves to be walked on just to avoid confrontation'

Bit harsh? :D:rolleyes:

G-Money

Siuin wrote: »

I've done that a few times myself- some guys just seem to tick all the right boxes when I read their profile, but then when I start messaging them I realise that we're on completely different levels. I can't speak for your situation, but once I begin to realise that I'm not as compatible with the guy as I had previously thought I tend to just let the conversation taper off.

I guess that's a possibility but I think I only sent one reply before I got blanked, and there was nothing sleazy or anything in it. Frustrating but what can you do, onwards and upwards.

Siuin

Dovies wrote: »

Mine would be something along:

'If you have more baggage than Aer Lingus jog on. I have had my fill of scheming ex wives and spineless men who roll over and allow themselves to be walked on just to avoid confrontation'

I realise you're joking, but just for any men (or women!) out there: never, ever mention exes on either a profile or on (at least) the first few dates. Bitterness and hostility ain't sexy and it can sometimes outwardly appear that the person hasn't quite moved on yet.

Siuin

G-Money wrote: »

I guess that's a possibility but I think I only sent one reply before I got blanked, and there was nothing sleazy or anything in it. Frustrating but what can you do, onwards and upwards.

The messages I got in reply weren't sleazy either, but they just didn't click with me. But really, it's better that she cuts the conversation at an early stage rather than trying to humour you for another few messages and wasting time when you could be finding someone you really are compatible with.

stargazer 68

Siuin wrote: »

I realise you're joking, but just for any men (or women!) out there: never, ever mention exes on either a profile or on (at least) the first few dates. Bitterness and hostility ain't sexy and it can sometimes outwardly appear that the person hasn't quite moved on yet.

Yes of course Im joking! Just wondered if anyone else had any real honest bits that they would like to put!
I agree - I never discuss exes and hate even being asked

CastorTroy

Siuin wrote: »

I realise you're joking, but just for any men (or women!) out there: never, ever mention exes on either a profile or on (at least) the first few dates. Bitterness and hostility ain't sexy and it can sometimes outwardly appear that the person hasn't quite moved on yet.

And try not to post pictures with your ex or someone who could be your ex(could be your brother, but unless the caption states that, there's a chance I'll assume otherwise). When I was looking for recent pics for my profile, they were automatically dismissed.

Wasn't planning on sending any messages for the rest of the year but saw one girl who viewed my profile last night who made me change my mind. So will do that tonight. Downside being she's in Monaghan. And for Monaghn people here, I mean it in the sense she's a distance away.

Siuin

CastorTroy wrote: »

And try not to post pictures with your ex or someone who could be your ex

So true! I find it extremely offputting when a guy has his arm around another girl in a picture and tend to not respond because I usually assume that he's a player or has some kind of male bravado complex.

knucklehead6

Siuin wrote: »

So true! I find it extremely offputting when a guy has his arm around another girl in a picture and tend to not respond because I usually assume that he's a player or has some kind of male bravado complex.

It's the same for us though. I hate those pics of multiple women where it's almost a case of guess who!

I have been chatting with a girl for a few days who might be giving me the runaround, but might just be making me work for a date/number (both of which i'm ok with..... if something happens then great, if not, then at least i've had something keep me occupied for a few days) but she was giving out about me not having any clear smiley pictures.
My only smiley pictures seem to be in pictures with girls that i know, and i wouldn't put them up on a dating site as it's an invasion of THEIR privacy. Cropping them out is an option, but there's always a hand left somewhere.

stargazer 68

knucklehead6 wrote: »

It's the same for us though. I hate those pics of multiple women where it's almost a case of guess who!

QUOTE]

Hate when men do that too. Its always the fugly one!

CastorTroy

knucklehead6 wrote: »

It's the same for us though. I hate those pics of multiple women where it's almost a case of guess who!

Well there are the ones who post more than one pic but always with someone else so then have to compare pics til you narrow down the owner of the profile.
And ladies, as I'm sure you're aware, doing this can be just as hard to identify you since you can look very different in 2 different pics, especially if one is pretty casual or just a night out while the other is from a wedding.

miamee

+1 on the group or couple shots. It also annoys me when someone only has an adventure pic, e.g. halfway down a mountain on skis. You're about 6 pixels high, it could be *me* in the pic and I wouldn't know!! They are ok if they are one of a few pics where you can actually see their face in the other pics. All long distance pics makes me assume the worst

G-Money

G-Money wrote: »

So I got about 3-4 replies in the space of a few days. One of the girls actually sent me a flirt/expression of interested. So I mailed her and we swapped a few mails and silence since. It looks like she's been online since but hasn't replied. I don't get it, why bother getting in touch in the first place if you're not interested.

I hate those "flirt" messages. Generally if I get one, I either just delete it or block the person altogether. I have a profile with a lot of information on it, that they obviously haven't made the effort to read. Why should I make the effort to reply back?

feylya wrote: »

Huh, it seems that I'm a pretty high match with a boardsie on OKC. Interesting.

Oh oh. Is it me? Is it me?!?! :pac:

Dovies wrote: »

knucklehead6 wrote: »

It's the same for us though. I hate those pics of multiple women where it's almost a case of guess who!

QUOTE]

Hate when men do that too. Its always the fugly one!

In a lot of cases, if its just two people, then its usually not the fugly one, I've found. They put up a picture with someone less attractive to make themselves seem more so.

See, online dating has made me awful cynical

Honey-ec

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

It was established on here recently that the OD thinking man likes the ladies with glasses :pac:

The OD thinking man can feck off if he thinks I'm going to wear glasses I don't need just to impress him...

Galvasean

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Scroll to the very bottom of the Edit Profile page. It should be in one of the boxes under Essential Information.

There it is. Nice one.

Siuin wrote: »

So true! I find it extremely offputting when a guy has his arm around another girl in a picture and tend to not respond because I usually assume that he's a player or has some kind of male bravado complex.

While I don't have any pictures on my profile where I am with anybody (as I don't think it's fair to have anyone else pictured in public without their knowledge), I actually find the attitude you are expressing here rather insecure. Guys can have friends that are girls. Assuming he is a player just because you saw him with a girl isn't a good attitude to have.

sharper

miamee wrote: »

I miss the early days of OD when it was mostly just shy nerds (swoon ) and everyone was genuine. Now every pleb in the country is giving it a whirl and it's so hard to sort out who's genuine or not as ye said. Much more difficult now. Or else my increased age has changed my outlook :pac:

Yes! Online is now full of people that are just regular folk and if you're a typical socially awkward nerd it's just adverse a situation as real life. In the midst of all the people that appear to be extremely outgoing and just plain busy I do wonder where all the quiet people go these days.

riveratom

Siuin wrote: »

So true! I find it extremely offputting when a guy has his arm around another girl in a picture and tend to not respond because I usually assume that he's a player or has some kind of male bravado complex.

You could be extremely put off by a guy in a picture with a close female friend or his sister. In which case you've just overlooked a guy who could be a great match for you for no reason whatsoever?

That is shooting yourself in the foot in a big way, and could have the guy wondering why he's getting radio silence for no apparent reason.

CastorTroy

But the question would be Why do guys or girls feel the need to be pictured with anyone else, whether male or female. And if you really need to be pictured with someone else, why not point out which one is you(if both the same sex) or who the person of the opposite sex is? Not really to do with insecurity, but if you feel the need to post a pic with your ex, I would assume you're not over them and will probably refer to them a number of times and compare me to them. And that's something most people would rather avoid.
Just my opinion, but in short, why not just post a pic of you and you alone? That's what I'm there for.

wobblyknees

Am I still allowed to post in here?

Galvasean

Galvasean wrote: »

So, I got a reply there. That's two in the space of one week. That's more than I've had in the last month! Now, to see if I can get reply #2 and get a conversation going.

Update for you guys. Ended up mailing back n' forth for quite some time and it was a pleasant experience overall. The only thing is, after reading back over the conversation this morning, I've noticed the conversation wasn't exactly a two way street. What I mean is it started off with me mailing, making reference to stuff in her profile and us talking about that and that is how it continued. She never made reference to anything in my profile (according to 'viewed me' she didn't even look at it).
I was considering mailing her again today, but for the fact that I'm out of ammo so to speak. We've talked about everything on her profile (there wasn't a hiuge amount TBH). I don't want to be repeating myself, nor do I want to start throwing out generic questions either.
I get the impression if she was genuinely interested, as opposed to just passing the time, she'd have made reference to something in my profile by now. I mean, there's enough stuff on it to warrant conversation...
Opinions?