The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

riveratom

Honey-ec wrote: »

She probably will be. She doesn't seem to see any correlation between her ridiculous list of prerequisites and the fact that she's still single.

I had the following conversation with her last week about butterflies guy.

Her: How old is he?
Me: 28
Her: Jeez, you really go for the younger men, don't you? (I'm 30)
Me: Not specifically, no, he messaged me, I liked his profile and he just happens to me younger than me
Her: Gawd, I wouldn't even bother replying to someone who was younger than me
Me: *pointed look*

Oh dear, a younger man needs to be just two years younger then....I see an extended period of single-ness in her future!

I guess some folks just have a massive lack of self-awareness. Goes for both genders I'm sure, although I'm going to venture men are a little more laid-back when it comes to such matters as required attributes (the main / only one being that they fancy you )

Honey-ec

wobblyknees wrote: »

Am I right in reading that this person went out on the p*ss on Saturday, Sunday and Monday and wasn't really giving you a passing call or text to see how you were?

Nope, we were out together on Saturday. Chatted on Sunday, then we both ended up on the beer separately.

He's a bar manager and was working 10 - 10 yesterday, I rang him at about 10.45 and he was just finishing up and going to have a few beers in his pub after.

wobblyknees

Honey-ec wrote: »

Nope, we were out together on Saturday. Chatted on Sunday, then we both ended up on the beer separately.

He's a bar manager and was working 10 - 10 yesterday, I rang him at about 10.45 and he was just finishing up and going to have a few beers in his pub after.

Ah ok, well, why do you think something has changed then?

Siuin

riveratom wrote: »

Oh dear, a younger man needs to be just two years younger then....I see an extended period of single-ness in her future!

I guess some folks just have a massive lack of self-awareness. Goes for both genders I'm sure, although I'm going to venture men are a little more laid-back when it comes to such matters as required attributes (the main / only one being that they fancy you )

Could be worse- her sister could be settling for someone not worth her time. At the end of the day it's her sister who will have to face the consequences of having such strict criteria and if she's willing to do so, who are we to judge her?

Tbh I think it shows a hightened sense of self-awareness if you know what traits and values you want in a future partner. I'd prefer to be chosen by a guy who was picky rather than one who would take any girl he fancied. If looks and paycheck are important to a person, then they're entitled to pursue that. After all, they're the ones who'll be living with the consequences.

Honey-ec

wobblyknees wrote: »

Ah ok, well, why do you think something has changed then?

I have absolutely no idea! Just a hunch. I really hope I'm not turning into one of those crazy women who overthinks everything. Can't be having that.

riveratom

Siuin wrote: »

Could be worse- her sister could be settling for someone not worth her time. At the end of the day it's her sister who will have to face the consequences of having such strict criteria and if she's willing to do so, who are we to judge her?

Tbh I think it shows a hightened sense of self-awareness if you know what traits and values you want in a future partner. I'd prefer to be chosen by a guy who was picky rather than one who would take any girl he fancied. If looks and paycheck are important to a person, then they're entitled to pursue that. After all, they're the ones who'll be living with the consequences.

I actually agree with the thinking behind your post and preferring to be chosen by someone who is picky. It's funny, as I am going on a first date soon with a girl who has dropped 'oh you're ticking the boxes' in a jokey way into our mails, but I know it's not really a joke at all She is drop-dead gorgeous and I am liking being picked from the dozens of blokes she no doubt gets mailing her every day....

That's a lot of different though to blanking someone because of a list of requirements like the ones above.. I always like to think about asking the person - 'so would ya go out with me if I was 6'1" and I earned €44,999 a year??!!

Mr_Spaceman

Sometimes it's worth remembering that sweet shop box ticking isn't all that.

I used to be a bit like that in my early 20s, thinking I knew better and had my 'principles'. Now, twenty years later, I wish I had taken a slightly more moderate view. It can be lonely at the top.

It's fine to have a general idea of the type of person you want to be with, but a little flexibility wouldn't go amiss.

Human attraction isn't like a spreadsheet. Unfortunately OD gives off that impression.

wobblyknees

Honey-ec wrote: »

I have absolutely no idea! Just a hunch. I really hope I'm not turning into one of thsoe crazy women who overthinks everything. Can't be having that.

It's normal when you really like someone though, isn't it? You think you are all bright and breezy but then, BAM, welcome to irrational thought town, population you!



You are a pretty straight forward person when it comes to these things, I think you know it's best just to ask if you are not sure. There are ways to ask without sounding like one of those crazy women.

miamee

Sent one message yesterday, no reply. Just sent another two there now so let's see what happens

If nothing else, I am impressed that I managed to find 3 men worth messaging on POF.
I usually lose patience too quickly to look properly.

Larianne

Ah, a dick pic. It's been a while.........

BoyJohn129

Larianne wrote: »

Ah, a dick pic. It's been a while.........

Impressive?!! :D

jaffacakesyum

Has any guy EVER in the history of online dating gotten first messages from girls with a picture of their fanny? :pac:

It boggles the mind what some men hope to achieve by sending dick pics

Larianne

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

Impressive?!! :D

Pretty sure it wasn't the senders.

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Has any guy EVER in the history of online dating gotten first messages from girls with a picture of their fanny? :pac:

It boggles the mind what some men hope to achieve by sending dick pics

I'm pretty sure guys had mentioned a girl's profile showed pretty much EVERYTHING in the pic. I'm sure someone can confirm. :pac:

BoyJohn129

miamee wrote: »

Sent one message yesterday, no reply. Just sent another two there now so let's see what happens

If nothing else, I am impressed that I managed to find 3 men worth messaging on POF.
I usually lose patience too quickly to look properly.

It's good to see a woman actually sending a message first - it's not something that happens very often.

AnnyHallsal

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

It's good to see a woman actually sending a message first - it's not something that happens very often.

Yep. And as a word of encouragement, I rarely contacted men first. But I've been blissfully loved up with one such rarity for two months now. Do it!

Larianne

miamee wrote: »

If nothing else, I am impressed that I managed to find 3 men worth messaging on POF.
I usually lose patience too quickly to look properly.

Ha! Be funny if we're all messaging the same 5 guys!! :pac:

BoyJohn129

Larianne wrote: »

Ha! Be funny if we're all messaging the same 5 guys!! :pac:

and they were all boardsies!

miamee

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

It's good to see a woman actually sending a message first - it's not something that happens very often.

They both viewed me earlier but no response. Ah well, their loss. Sure I'm only marvellous :pac: :pac:

BoyJohn129

miamee wrote: »

They both viewed me earlier but no response. Ah well, their loss. Sure I'm only marvellous :pac: :pac:

There's a very deluded sense of reality on it. There's no sense of anyone giving anything a chance on it.

What I don't understand is why people have this initial expectation of unbelievable chemistry. There's some hope of that happening in real life where your actually face to face with someone and probably loaded with alcohol but on something like POF the chances of that happening are rare.

If a girl actually went to the effort of mailing me first I'd reply, at least it's a sign that she's making an effort at the very least.

There's many complete wasters on the thing it's unbelievable.

Larianne

BoyJohn129 wrote: »

and they were all boardsies!

I try to avoid boardsies, to be honest. (no offence to anyone!)

BoyJohn129

Larianne wrote: »

I try to avoid boardsies, to be honest. (no offence to anyone!)

well I oughta!

Jimmy Bottlehead

Larianne wrote: »

I try to avoid boardsies, to be honest. (no offence to anyone!)

Good call. I'd avoid me if I could.

Liam McPoyle

Just an update for those of you losing faith,the blokes in particular.

I had used OD on and off for a couple of years with varying levels of success,got bored,deleted the profile,got bored and re signed up,rinse and repeat ad nauseum.

Last June a girl messaged me and we got chatting and kept messaging and texting for a few weeks then finally went on a date in early July.

Got on well,lots of chatting and kissed are the end of the date.

Fast forward to now and we are still together.We have met eachothers parents etc and we are well and truly smitten with eachother.

Who knows what the future will bring but at the moment I couldn't be happier.

Moral of the story is that it is possible to meet someone through OD,it just takes patients and of course a bit of luck.

riveratom

Necronos wrote: »

Just an update for those of you losing faith,the blokes in particular.

I had used OD on and off for a couple of years with varying levels of success,got bored,deleted the profile,got bored and re signed up,rinse and repeat ad nauseum.

Last June a girl messaged me and we got chatting and kept messaging and texting for a few weeks then finally went on a date in early July.

Got on well,lots of chatting and kissed are the end of the date.

Fast forward to now and we are still together.We have met eachothers parents etc and we are well and truly smitten with eachother.

Who knows what the future will bring but at the moment I couldn't be happier.

Moral of the story is that it is possible to meet someone through OD,it just takes patients and of course a bit of luck.

Fair play for coming back to tell your story

Larianne

Necronos - that's great to hear. Missed at the beers though

Galvasean

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Human attraction isn't like a spreadsheet. Unfortunately OD gives off that impression.

Oooh, can I use that as my tagline? :cool:

CastorTroy

Necronos wrote: »

Just an update for those of you losing faith,the blokes in particular.

I had used OD on and off for a couple of years with varying levels of success,got bored,deleted the profile,got bored and re signed up,rinse and repeat ad nauseum.

Last June a girl messaged me and we got chatting and kept messaging and texting for a few weeks then finally went on a date in early July.

Got on well,lots of chatting and kissed are the end of the date.

Fast forward to now and we are still together.We have met eachothers parents etc and we are well and truly smitten with eachother.

Who knows what the future will bring but at the moment I couldn't be happier.

Moral of the story is that it is possible to meet someone through OD,it just takes patients and of course a bit of luck.

Woohoo! Hope appears.

Dibs on Best Man. :P

Larianne wrote: »

Necronos - that's great to hear. Missed at the beers though

He's not allowed out anymore.

Liam McPoyle

Larianne wrote: »

Necronos - that's great to hear. Missed at the beers though

Keep December 28th open,I'm trying to get something arranged.

LittleFox

Losing fate with Pof, just too many messers, had my head screwed with again, I want to thank fellow boardsie as I was warned about the guy I was talking to, called him out on his crap this evening, glad I didn't waste anymore time chatting to him, 6 months was enough

knucklehead6

LittleFox wrote: »

Losing fate with Pof, just too many messers, had my head screwed with again, I want to thank fellow boardsie as I was warned about the guy I was talking to, called him out on his crap this evening, glad I didn't waste anymore time chatting to him, 6 months was enough

Hard luck.