The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Tigger99

Ah littlefox Im very sorry to hear that

Daisy78 I totally get your apprehension about OD and the whole will my pic be ok. Look Im no supermodel and I get a few messages and now and then, seriously sure what do you have to loose?

riveratom

Had a first date tonight and while it went perfectly fine, I fear there is nothing there.

I also think I could go on dates with online folks for the next 10 years and not necessarily have even one which turns into a relationship!

Mr_Spaceman

riveratom wrote: »

Had a first date tonight and while it went perfectly fine, I fear there is nothing there.

I also think I could go on dates with online folks for the next 10 years and not necessarily have even one which turns into a relationship!

I know what you mean.

As discussed earlier, many are just too tempted to believe that something tastier from the OD sweet shop is just click away - thus blowing the potential for something good to develop.

I honestly feel if you don't make an absolute golden, killer impression on the first date it is often game over as women's expectations are, broadly speaking, rather unrealistic (and maybe a lot of men think like this too).

No pressure then, eh?

knucklehead6

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I know what you mean.

As discussed earlier, many are just too tempted to believe that something tastier from the OD sweet shop is just click away - thus blowing the potential for something good to develop.

I honestly feel if you don't make an absolute golden, killer impression on the first date it is often game over as women's expectations are, broadly speaking, rather unrealistic (and maybe a lot of men think like this too).

No pressure then, eh?

I'd have to disagree with that bit.

Yeah, of course i had a few 1st date failures, but that's more due to a complete lack of attraction. As in zero.

However, I've also had first dates which didn't go all that great, but ended up doing a second date. Some of them just didn't work out, for a multitude of reasons. In some of them i ended up being the one rejected, in others i was the rejecter.
In a couple of them I've gone on to be seeing that woman for a few months.

Putting yourself under the pressure of having to make a perfect impression on D1 is going to result in over-thinking and over-analysing every single statement you and her make.
Go with the flow, enjoy it. If you are enjoying yourself, chances are she is enjoying herself. If you are tensed up about making a good impression, she'll pick up on that too....

Honey-ec

mood wrote: »

What age are you?

I think the older men get the younger they seem to think a woman should be! I really don't know why!

30! Haggard, clearly...

riveratom

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I know what you mean.

As discussed earlier, many are just too tempted to believe that something tastier from the OD sweet shop is just click away - thus blowing the potential for something good to develop.

I honestly feel if you don't make an absolute golden, killer impression on the first date it is often game over as women's expectations are, broadly speaking, rather unrealistic (and maybe a lot of men think like this too).

No pressure then, eh?

No....not where I was coming from at all and I wouldn't agree with any of that.

I meant that I wasn't sure if there was much chemistry there between us. I know that sometimes it takes a few dates to find out, but I feel like the buzz and chemistry we had over mails may not have translated to real life. That's always a risk with online dating I guess.

Then at the end, I was kinda feeling she was thinking the same perhaps. Or, that she thought I wasn't really feeling there was anything there. Who knows really, she was also a little different to her profile pic too....!

Anyway, I sent the last text last night, if she texts over the weekend we'll see what happens. If not, then it's onwards and upwards as usual

knucklehead6

riveratom wrote: »

No....not where I was coming from at all and I wouldn't agree with any of that.

I meant that I wasn't sure if there was much chemistry there between us. I know that sometimes it takes a few dates to find out, but I feel like the buzz and chemistry we had over mails may not have translated to real life. That's always a risk with online dating I guess.

Then at the end, I was kinda feeling she was thinking the same perhaps. Or, that she thought I wasn't really feeling there was anything there. Who knows really, she was also a little different to her profile pic too....!

Anyway, I sent the last text last night, if she texts over the weekend we'll see what happens. If not, then it's onwards and upwards as usual

I hate when that happens.

There was one girl who i saw a couple of times where it was the complete opposite though.... Those ones are FUN!!

riveratom

knucklehead6 wrote: »

I hate when that happens.

There was one girl who i saw a couple of times where it was the complete opposite though.... Those ones are FUN!!

Yeah....it was so weird because I had this impression of her right up until the second we met, and then BAM, it was like 'are you really the same person??!'

knucklehead6

riveratom wrote: »

Yeah....it was so weird because I had this impression of her right up until the second we met, and then BAM, it was like 'are you really the same person??!'

Really hoping I don't experience the same tonight!!

riveratom

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Really hoping I don't experience the same tonight!!

Who'd have ever thought just meeting someone, going on a few dates, and then going out together could ever prove so difficult!!!

knucklehead6

riveratom wrote: »

Who'd have ever thought just meeting someone, going on a few dates, and then going out together could ever prove so difficult!!!

hehehe.

Rattlehead_ie

Dam you spark, why must you be so elusive
*shakes fist

2nd 1st date that I thought went well and to be later told there's no spark.

knucklehead6

Rattlehead_ie wrote: »

Dam you spark, why must you be so elusive
*shakes fist

2nd 1st date that I thought went well and to be later told there's no spark.

Sorry to hear that rattlehead.....looks like we're all striking out this week.

Has anyone had any good dates this week?? Give me SOME confidence for tonight!! :P

Underpaid Mike

Had a brilliant date tuesday, seeing her again tonight and next wednesday. There is hope knucklehead

mood

Honey-ec wrote: »

30! Haggard, clearly...

You come across as younger. I mean that in a good way.

Starokan

Think I may make my second foray into online dating. Met a lovely lass through it the last time, saw each other for a while , it didnt work out but overall t'was not a bad experience.

Larianne

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Really hoping I don't experience the same tonight!!

Good luck tonight man.

knucklehead6

Larianne wrote: »

Good luck tonight man.

thanks lari!

Galvasean

Since you have already been wished luck, I wish upon you... skill!

knucklehead6

Galvasean wrote: »

Since you have already been wished luck, I wish upon you... skill!

the skill to simultaneously carry 2 drinks back from the bar without spilling a drop? I hope I'm up to it Galva!!

CastorTroy

Galvasean wrote: »

Since you have already been wished luck, I wish upon you... skill!

And my axe!


Luck...skill... I just hope you have fun. And same for anyone else with dates over the weekend. Enjoy yourselves.

Mr_Spaceman

knucklehead6 wrote: »

I'd have to disagree with that bit.

Yeah, of course i had a few 1st date failures, but that's more due to a complete lack of attraction. As in zero.

However, I've also had first dates which didn't go all that great, but ended up doing a second date. Some of them just didn't work out, for a multitude of reasons. In some of them i ended up being the one rejected, in others i was the rejecter.
In a couple of them I've gone on to be seeing that woman for a few months.

Putting yourself under the pressure of having to make a perfect impression on D1 is going to result in over-thinking and over-analysing every single statement you and her make.
Go with the flow, enjoy it. If you are enjoying yourself, chances are she is enjoying herself. If you are tensed up about making a good impression, she'll pick up on that too....

What I'm trying to say is that women - because they tend to have more options - are far less likely to agree to a second date.

For instance many ladies on here have returned from first dates to declare "no chemistry/spark" etc. We all know of many relationships which have developed slowly, like a warm fuzz. With OD it's much less likely in my view for things to develop. Hence the idea that you really have to bowl someone over.

I'm actually quite chatty and relaxed on dates. If I was a bit nervous and what not I'd be quite conscious of it, but I'm not really as I enjoy meeting people anyway.

I still maintain that OD compared to other circumstances, people are much quicker to judge. Only in my experience, obviously.

Esoteric_

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

What I'm trying to say is that women - because they tend to have more options - are far less likely to agree to a second date.

For instance many ladies on here have returned from first dates to declare "no chemistry/spark" etc. We all know of many relationships which have developed slowly, like a warm fuzz. With OD it's much less likely in my view for things to develop. Hence the idea that you really have to bowl someone over.

I don't know what this 'spark' thing is supposed to be, to be honest. Does it mean 'fancying' the person? I dunno.

For me, if I go on a first date, there are three ways it can work out. I feel that 'spark' and want a second date, I feel no 'spark' but believe it could grow (I don't think that sort of attraction needs to be instantaneous) and therefore go on a second date, or I just feel absolutely no attraction and don't want another date, despite them being lovely guys.

I don't think choice of men really comes into it. I don't think any man (except perhaps the very desperate) would go on a second date with a woman he knows he won't fancy. Similarly, I know easily after an hour or so if I could potentially come to have that 'spark' or if it's a lost cause.

No point going on a second date if you don't fancy them, really. I don't think it has anything to do with choice.

G-Money

Had a slight reprieve a week or two ago when I got a few replies in the space of a day or two, but they all dried up and it's back to being completely blanked.

I have to admit I get a perverse kick out of emailing girls who I know will never, ever reply. You know the type, the one's who say stuff like "Looking for a tall, handsome, successful guy who looks after himself". Then at the end they throw in some token comment about personality, just to make you think it's not ALL about looks :rolleyes:

mood

G-Money wrote: »

Had a slight reprieve a week or two ago when I got a few replies in the space of a day or two, but they all dried up and it's back to being completely blanked.

I have to admit I get a perverse kick out of emailing girls who I know will never, ever reply. You know the type, the one's who say stuff like "Looking for a tall, handsome, successful guy who looks after himself". Then at the end they throw in some token comment about personality, just to make you think it's not ALL about looks :rolleyes:

I really don't get the height thing! I prefer guys of average height but I wouldn't rule out a taller or smaller guy. I think 'looks after' himself just means not over weight and dresses ok.

Re 'spark' I think lack of spark can be a nice way of saying 'I don't fancy you' or even like you as a person.

knucklehead6

mood wrote: »

I really don't get the height thing! I prefer guys of average height but I wouldn't rule out a taller or smaller guy. I think 'looks after' himself just means not over weight and dresses ok.

Re 'spark' I think lack of spark can be a nice way of saying 'I don't fancy you' or even like you as a person.

It is that simple. No spark = I don't fancy you.

Think I'm about to be stood up.... Posting on the phone so can't include the embarrassed smiley.

Esoteric_

knucklehead6 wrote: »

It is that simple. No spark = I don't fancy you.

Think I'm about to be stood up.... Posting on the phone so can't include the embarrassed smiley.

Awh no, mate. Fingers crossed she's just a bit late.

mood

knucklehead6 wrote: »

It is that simple. No spark = I don't fancy you.

Think I'm about to be stood up.... Posting on the phone so can't include the embarrassed smiley.

Oh no. Not always. I've often meet a guy who is good looking and nice but there was just nothing there. But it is a nicer way to say I don't like/fancy you. I wouldn't like to be so blunt.

I hope she turns up soon. When were you in touch last?

knucklehead6

Ah we're not supposed to meet till 9. I'm not even at the place yet myself, just have a bad vibe about it. She texted about 45 mins ago saying she'd call in a few. Nothing since. And that was the only contact today.

Esoteric_

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Ah we're not supposed to meet till 9. I'm not even at the place yet myself, just have a bad vibe about it. She texted about 45 mins ago saying she'd call in a few. Nothing since. And that was the only contact today.

When she texted you, did she say anything else other than that she'd call you?

If you really do think you're gonna be stood up, maybe text her and say 'Hey, any chance we could meet at XXXXX instead of YYYY (name a nearby place)?' just to see if she gets back to you?