The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

CastorTroy

silvervixen84 wrote: »

Was messaging a guy last night who seems cool. He already asked me to a screening of Barbarella today but I've plans so can't. Looks a bit promising.

Got another message from a guy who's in a Star Trek uniform in his profile pic. His message was "red hair yum yum" :rolleyes:

So you're saying you're attracting the geeks? Hard to read that "yum yum" without it sounding like a gremlin.

yeahimhere

I'm I'm officially public OD! Will be interesting to see if this attracts a different type of message - before I contacted guys that I liked along with my picture. Got a few first messages from guys which I didn't initiate, and they all had read my profile so it was good (well most - there were the obvious ones who were blanket messaging).

Rightly or wrongly assumed before that a lot of junk would come if you had a picture up, guys who weren't really serious / a little creepy just spamming every girl who had a photo. Time will tell if I was right or wrong in that assumption!

Mr_Spaceman

singlesnights wrote: »

Seriously though, being in the "friend zone" has its benefits. A girl you like is likely to have similar friends - in terms of looks, personality, interests.

If you can become genuine friends (as in friends that actually socialise together) then that's always a good thing.

All I can say is fair play to you. You're a better man than me.

I've had years of being friend zoned and the novelty has well and truly worn off.

I guess I'm just too proud or whatever...

yeahimhere

yeahimhere wrote: »

I'm I'm officially public OD! Will be interesting to see if this attracts a different type of message - before I contacted guys that I liked along with my picture. Got a few first messages from guys which I didn't initiate, and they all had read my profile so it was good (well most - there were the obvious ones who were blanket messaging).

Rightly or wrongly assumed before that a lot of junk would come if you had a picture up, guys who weren't really serious / a little creepy just spamming every girl who had a photo. Time will tell if I was right or wrong in that assumption!

Ok, first results are in. Have a hell of a lot of guys from the UK visiting my profile?! Did adding a picture open that up somehow...weird!

I'm assuming a lot of guys, like I had previously, had filtered for people who just had a picture, so this may open up a whole other group of people. Glad I went public now

mood

yeahimhere wrote: »

Ok, first results are in. Have a hell of a lot of guys from the UK visiting my profile?! Did adding a picture open that up somehow...weird!

I'm assuming a lot of guys, like I had previously, had filtered for people who just had a picture, so this may open up a whole other group of people. Glad I went public now

Can you not change setting so only people in Ireland can see your profile?

yeahimhere

mood wrote: »

Can you not change setting so only people in Ireland can see your profile?

Oh I didn't know - have a filter in that you can only contact me if you're near me, but maybe UK is near enough since it's an american site and their sense of distance?? I'm back on OKC, is that an option there? doesn't really bother me though, but might be useful it it does in the future. Just frustrating if it pops up that someone was looking at your profile, they look nice and turn up that they're somewhere that I'm realistically not going to go to date.

knucklehead6

yeahimhere wrote: »

Ok, first results are in. Have a hell of a lot of guys from the UK visiting my profile?! Did adding a picture open that up somehow...weird!

I'm assuming a lot of guys, like I had previously, had filtered for people who just had a picture, so this may open up a whole other group of people. Glad I went public now

If you are using okc then you probably just came up in the news feed bit.

Daveysil15

I got talking to a girl recently who told me about a male friend of hers who uses a dating site where he pays for dates (as in pays for her company). Kind of like an escort service but without the sex. I think both sexes pay to join the site, but the women get paid for every date they go on. Sounds crazy but the idea behind it is that on regular dating sites the men are struggling to find dates and the women are too picky, so they reckon this will get both men and women to go on more dates.

The man only pays for the first date apparently. If they decide to meet up after that then he‘s not charged anything extra. According to this guy its great because he’s meeting plenty of women and its costing him no more than a couple of drinks (which is what he was typically paying for a first date anyway).

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I got talking to a girl recently who told me about a male friend of hers who uses a dating site where he pays for dates (as in pays for her company). Kind of like an escort service but without the sex. I think both sexes pay to join the site, but the women get paid for every date they go on. Sounds crazy but the idea behind it is that on regular dating sites the men are struggling to find dates and the women are too picky, so they reckon this will get both men and women to go on more dates.

The man only pays for the first date apparently. If they decide to meet up after that then he‘s not charged anything extra. According to this guy its great because he’s meeting plenty of women and its costing him no more than a couple of drinks (which is what he was typically paying for a first date anyway).

Sounds a bit sleezy.

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

Sounds a bit sleezy.

I wouldn't call it sleazy, a bit transactional and false maybe. It's working for him anyway.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I wouldn't call it sleazy, a bit transactional and false maybe. It's working for him anyway.

I wouldn't like the idea of being paid to spend time with a man. It's one step away from prostition. How is it working for him? Most of the women probably only meet him to get paid not because they think they might like him.

Larianne

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I got talking to a girl recently who told me about a male friend of hers who uses a dating site where he pays for dates (as in pays for her company). Kind of like an escort service but without the sex. I think both sexes pay to join the site, but the women get paid for every date they go on. Sounds crazy but the idea behind it is that on regular dating sites the men are struggling to find dates and the women are too picky, so they reckon this will get both men and women to go on more dates.

The man only pays for the first date apparently. If they decide to meet up after that then he‘s not charged anything extra. According to this guy its great because he’s meeting plenty of women and its costing him no more than a couple of drinks (which is what he was typically paying for a first date anyway).

Yeah, he's meeting plenty of women but how many of them are sincerely looking to meet a guy and not just on it to make some cash?

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

I wouldn't like the idea of being paid to spend time with a man. It's one step away from prostition. How is it working for him? Most of the women probably only meet him to get paid not because they think they might like him.

Larianne wrote: »

Yeah, he's meeting plenty of women but how many of them are sincerely looking to meet a guy and not just on it to make some cash?

I agree. But he's probably using it as a way to improve his social status or give him an ego boost. If a guy is seen out with attractive women, other women will notice this and think he has something going for himself. Like when somone wants to attend a social function and has nobody to go with, they can hire someone to tag along with them. It's not something Id be too keen on myself, but I can see why some men would do it.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I agree. But he's probably using it as a way to improve his social status or give him an ego boost. If a guy is seen out with attractive women, other women will notice this and think he has something going for himself. Like when somone wants to attend a social function and has nobody to go with, they can hire someone to tag along with them. It's not something Id be too keen on myself, but I can see why some men would do it.

I disagree. If I see a guy 'with' a woman I wouldn't look twice at him because he is taken full stop.

sffc

Personally if I came home after an evening with a girl who was paid to come out with me an ego boost is the last feeling I'd get . I'd feel used ... very used
Oh and my wonderful gf of seven months whom I met through POF would kill me but that's another story haha!

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

I disagree. If I see a guy 'with' a woman I wouldn't look twice at him because he is taken full stop.

Of course, but from his perspective it makes him look better

On that note: A guy going to bars and clubs alone to meet women...creepy or balsy?

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Of course, but from his perspective it makes him look better

On that note: A guy going to bars and clubs alone to meet women...creepy or balsy?

Bit creepy. i've seen guys do this and I would run a mile.

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

Bit creepy. i've seen guys do this and I would run a mile.

That's what I mean about the whole social status thing. A guy who occasionaly has an attractive women with him, would look better than the creepy loner guy. He could pretend the girl is a friend, like a wing-woman, if he has no mates to go out with, or all his mates are settled.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

That's what I mean about the whole social status thing. A guy who occasionaly has an attractive women with him, would look better than the creepy loner guy. He could pretend the girl is a friend, like a wing-woman, if he has no mates to go out with, or all his mates are settled.

But what are the chances of the same women seeing him week after week? It might happen in a small town but in that situation it's unlikely a guy would 'pay' a woman to spend time with him as it would be likely word would get around.

A man or woman are unlikely to meet someone when it looks like they are already on a date. When I am out with male friends I never get approached and I assume its the same for men.

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

But what are the chances of the same women seeing him week after week? It might happen in a small town but in that situation it's unlikely a guy would 'pay' a woman to spend time with him as it would be likely word would get around.

A man or woman are unlikely to meet someone when it looks like they are already on a date. When I am out with male friends I never get approached and I assume its the same for men.

If he's doing it week after week he's bound to get noticed. Men are paying women to accompany them. I don't see how word would get around as long as they keep it to themselves. Yeah he might not meet someone at the time, but its kind of like social proof. The next week he may go to the bar alone and he might be more appealing than the the guy who is always alone.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

If he's doing it week after week he's bound to get noticed. Men are paying women to accompany them. I don't see how word would get around as long as they keep it to themselves. Yeah he might not meet someone at the time, but its kind of like social proof. The next week he may go to the bar alone and he might be more appealing than the the guy who is always alone.

Sound like you never lived in a small town. I have word gets around about most things. All it take is one girl to tell a friend...

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

Sound like you never lived in a small town. I have word gets around about most things. Al it take is one girl to tell a friend...

I do live in a very small town. Unless you're in a tiny village like Killinaskully it shouldn't be a problem. Even if the girl did tell a friend, its not like they'd know who it was unless she pointed him out to her and said "Him...he's the guy who pays me for dates."

I think the whole concept is weird, but I can see why some guys would do it.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I do live in a very small town. Unless you're in a tiny village like Killinaskully it shouldn't be a problem. Even if the girl did tell a friend, its not like they'd know who it was unless she pointed him out to her and said "Him...he's the guy who pays me for dates."

I think the whole concept is weird, but I can see why some guys would do it.

I can't. I really don't see how they would benefit from it.

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

I can't. I really don't see how they would benefit from it.

Social proof, ego boost, female company, or they just don't want to stay in on a Saturday night or face going out alone.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Social proof, ego boost, female company, or they just don't want to stay in on a Saturday night or face going out alone.

We will have to agree to disagree on this one!

Daveysil15

mood wrote: »

We will have to agree to disagree on this one!

I don't agree to that. :pac:

liz2

Um eh, im back...! Haven't been on here in awhile,,maybe over a year..lol
Been single since may and only decided last week to get back out there & online dating seemed to call me again..:p and hopefully ill be more savvy this time round..!
There seems to be alot of newbies but i also recognise some names..;)
Happy dating..:D

knucklehead6

liz2 wrote: »

Um eh, im back...! Haven't been on here in awhile,,maybe over a year..lol
Been single since may and only decided last week to get back out there & online dating seemed to call me again..:p and hopefully ill be more savvy this time round..!
There seems to be alot of newbies but i also recognise some names..;)
Happy dating..:D

Some of us are new profiles, but old heads! :-(

riveratom

I reckon I'll keep having an oul browse of the dating sites (well the two that I'm on) up until the New Year.

After that, it's moving on time for a bit, going to be taking a nice breather from it all. Gonna be exploring some new activities and taking a holiday in the New Year, there's more to life than online dating after all

I could be going on date after date after date, and while it's fun, it feels a bit 'fruitless' after a time in some ways!

yeahimhere

Oh wow, he seems charming;

" you sound so innocent. I bet you're a real Cunt."

Lovely.

Seriously though, what was his point of sending that message!? I just don't get it. hmmm maybe I should go back to a private profile picture.