The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Larianne

I think you need a break from OD, Dub5.

dub5

CastorTroy wrote: »

If I was honest, I doubt I would get many messages. Can we just be selective in what we say?

Of course, but I do think honesty if the key.Its appreciated;)

Christie Rainbows wrote: »

Yep, I agree with everything you say. IMO men don't want to say I'm not interested any more. They'll just leave you to figure that out. Whenever I see a guys profile including things like 'I'm caring.. honest.. trustworthy blah blah" I take it with a pinch of salt now!

I dont really believe anything a guy says in his profile. Anyone can write what they think you want to read, you cant make up your mind really until you meet them in person. I dont get they thing of guys ignoring you, I am sure you are the same as me and would much prefer a guy to say "sorry I dont see this going any further" etc

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Well we may have gotten the same amount of responses in out little experiment, but you certainly have me beaten on dates. I've only gotten one date from it in the space of a year. They seem all keen at first and then just lose interest. Having spoke to men and women about POF, the women certainly seem to be getting more dates. Having said that, a lot of the women seem to be having the same experiences you've had.

Yes, most of my friends have had the same experiences, pain in the ass

Larianne wrote: »

I think you need a break from OD, Dub5.

Tell me about it. I tried to "hide" my profile but the feature is not there for me to do it (some technical issues apparently). And I dont want to delete my profile as if i want to re join I couldnt be arsed filling in all that info again

Daveysil15

dub5 wrote: »

Yes, most of my friends have had the same experiences, pain in the ass

But at least you've been on a few dates though. Why is it that the creepers are getting dates and not the nice guys? Are the creepers pretending to be nice just to lure you in?

sharper

dub5 wrote: »

Tell me about it. I tried to "hide" my profile but the feature is not there for me to do it (some technical issues apparently). And I dont want to delete my profile as if i want to re join I couldnt be arsed filling in all that info again

Maybe save off the content somewhere and just blank everything out?

I think Larianne is quite right you need a break and I say that as someone that needs to take a break from people in general semi-regularly. Well as much as one can and work for a living!

Either that or help me build a giant laser on the moon. We'll show them all. Oh yes.

dub5

Daveysil15 wrote: »

But at least you've been on a few dates though. Why is it that the creepers are getting dates and not the nice guys? Are the creepers pretending to be nice just to lure you in?

None of the"creepers" act like they are. I know men always say that women are impossible to read etc but jeez I think men are twice as bad

Galvasean

dub5 wrote: »

Was it just by coincidence that you realised you were both from the boards?

Well, my secret identity is one of the worst kept secrets on the internet (she recognised me from the 'Know your Clubbers' thread). Fair play to her for telling me on date numero uno, as I'm sure many would have been more sly and kept tabs on me via boards to keep the 'upper hand'.

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Define normal.

Pfft, who wants to be normal? Nothing pleases me more when someone who works a 9-5 office job tells me I'm weird

Christie Rainbows wrote: »

IMO men don't want to say I'm not interested any more. They'll just leave you to figure that out. Whenever I see a guys profile including things like 'I'm caring.. honest.. trustworthy blah blah" I take it with a pinch of salt now!

Hardly a trait that is exclusive to men in all fairness...

Daveysil15 wrote: »

But at least you've been on a few dates though. Why is it that the creepers are getting dates and not the nice guys? Are the creepers pretending to be nice just to lure you in?

Beautiful freaks?

Daveysil15

Galvasean wrote: »

Beautiful freaks?

Exactly, what's going on? I've spoken to a few guys in work who have used POF and have never gotten any dates from it. I've spoken to plenty of women, (Some of whom were far from attractive) who get lots of dates. There's a woman who lives just across the road from me who uses online dating, I'd say she's about 20 stone, yet everytime I see her she's with a different bloke - and she's meeting them all on the internet. I just find it really bizarre.

dub5

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Exactly, what's going on? I've spoken to a few guys in work who have used POF and have never gotten any dates from it. I've spoken to plenty of women, (Some of whom were far from attractive) who get lots of dates. There's a woman who lives just across the road from me who uses online dating, I'd say she's about 20 stone, yet everytime I see her she's with a different bloke - and she's meeting them all on the internet. I just find it really bizarre.

Well in fairness one could go out on a date every week, if you werent picky. I have a friend, who has no particular type at all and she is out on dates at least once a week. I would have certain things that I cant waive, maybe I am too picky, I dont know

But it would be the same for you, you could be out on dates as much as you like, if you didnt have a type or any standards

CastorTroy

Just as a matter of interest, how much of a distance do you all search in? I'm sure somewhere like Dublin would have more in a 15 mile radius than here(Letterkenny)

blacklilly

I've deleted my OD profile and it felt kinda liberating

dub5

blacklilly wrote: »

I've deleted my OD profile and it felt kinda liberating

good for you, think i am heading that way too

Daveysil15

dub5 wrote: »

But it would be the same for you, you could be out on dates as much as you like, if you didnt have a type or any standards

Actually no I couldn't. I'm not particularly picky and have messaged hundreds of women and asked a lot of them out, but none of them were keen on meeting. Like I said, I've been on it for over a year and have only had one date. Even if I had low standards I couldn't get many dates.

Larianne

Daveysil15 wrote: »

But at least you've been on a few dates though. Why is it that the creepers are getting dates and not the nice guys? Are the creepers pretending to be nice just to lure you in?

I have heard from two seperate guys that their housemates etc. go on POF and pretend to be looking for a relationship/dating but are really on it to get their hole. Then string the girls along.

I just clicked onto that Meet Me thing. First picture up - cock picture. Jeez, ya could at least trim it a little. :rolleyes: ALso, needs more girth. :pac:

dub5

Larianne wrote: »

I have heard from two seperate guys that their housemates etc. go on POF and pretend to be looking for a relationship/dating but are really on it to get their hole. Then string the girls along.

I just clicked onto that Meet Me thing. First picture up - cock picture. Jeez, ya could at least trim it a little. :rolleyes: ALso, needs more girth. :pac:

lmao

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

I have heard from two seperate guys that their housemates etc. go on POF and pretend to be looking for a relationship/dating but are really on it to get their hole. Then string the girls along.

I'm not doubting that for a second, but is that not what a lot of guys do in general (ie: even without the aid of the internet)?

blacklilly

The vast majority of guys on it are on it for one thing, once I read a profile that says....
"my mates told me about this site" I stay clear.
Also there are obviously plenty of women on it looking for nsa as well.
Im tired of wasting time in the hope of meeting someone nice.
there's more to life, if someone comes along, great but im not going to spend my time actively looking

Galvasean

Farewell blacklilly, there goes another good one.

blacklilly

Galvasean wrote: »

Farewell blacklilly, there goes another good one.

Haha that's a little too somber! Im not dead, just taking a break

Seems to be mostly negative stuff I've been reading lately.

Galvasean

blacklilly wrote: »

Haha that's a little too somber! Im not dead, just taking a break

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFLc6lIRQ1I

Karsini wrote: »

Seems to be mostly negative stuff I've been reading lately.

I've noticed a lot more negativity on here lately. Personally, about a year ago when I first delved into the whole thing the tales of woe were peppered with success stories. They seem to have become rarer and rarer lately, to the point of being extremely rare. I can't speak for everybody, but based on what I've read on here the same is true for many.

In all honesty I think I persevere as i enjoy trading 'war stories' with others on this thread. Laughing at the ludicrousness of it all stops me from being bogged down with the negativity.

blacklilly

Well over the past year I've went on 15 dates, 10 of these men were looking for nsa, I wasn't aware of this before I met them.
1 guy was completely nuts and the rest were okish but no "spark"
Also I would always text any guy that I met that I wasn't into to say thanks etc but two guys never text me back which I consider extremely rude. I know Im not everyones cup of tea but I honestly think that when someone has taken the time and effort to meet you, you should at least acknowledge it

Larianne

Nah, all the cool people have found someone. We're the rejects! :pac:

There's been a good few success stories here lately.

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

Nah, all the cool people have found someone. We're the rejects! :pac:

I refuse to accept culpability for a damn thing!

And furthermore...

starlit

blacklilly wrote: »

Well over the past year I've went on 15 dates, 10 of these men were looking for nsa, I wasn't aware of this before I met them.
1 guy was completely nuts and the rest were okish but no "spark"
Also I would always text any guy that I met that I wasn't into to say thanks etc but two guys never text me back which I consider extremely rude. I know Im not everyones cup of tea but I honestly think that when someone has taken the time and effort to meet you, you should at least acknowledge it

I am guessing NSA is no strings attached?

15 dates that's a lot in one year. Most I have had in less than 8 years is 5!

They should have said something to you what their intentions were though some guys can be either clueless or laid back they don't know or they assume you are up for what ever they are up for. Its hard to know without asking what the story is.

Fair enough go on a date with someone if you click with them great but if no spark I don't know. I find a connection is more important with someone than just just the attraction/get on/gel/click with have a laugh with and so on. Personality wins out more so than looks but I suppose I have to like and more than like someone for something to happen.

Yes very true people should at least acknowledge that they have met up with you and text after but some just don't bother. Its not something to take to heart some people are up for something more whether its friendship or more than that and others will make the effort or not everyone is different. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Plenty more guys to choose from!

srm23

have a date lined up for this weekend off pof, she's decent looking but not sure if much will come from it, I'm thinking of trying "The Naked Man" on her as I've always wanted to try it, what you think?

The Naked Man:

"You're on a first date. You've had a few drinks. You make an excuse to go up to the girl's apartment. Then, once she leaves the room, you strip down naked and wait. When she comes back, she laughs. She's so charmed by your confidence and bravado, she sleeps with you. Boom! [It works] two out of three times. You just have to pick your spot. The Naked Man is best used as last resort. Kind of a Hail Mary on a first date when you know there's not going to be a second one."

blacklilly

If your date has any sense she'll spot what you're looking for and get up and leave.

im not being hard on myself, I have no issue with rejection and I don't find it difficult to tell someone Im not into them.
Im actually good friends with 2 guys i met. one of which I was seeing for s while so its not all bad.

chocolatrose

I have only been online dating for a few weeks and the amount of lads that initially posed as looking to properly date as opposed to nsa but later it became quite obvious what they wanted to achieve, I have lost count. These are lads that have up looking for a relationship and all the usual looking for a genuine nice girl in their profile. I guess these are the cunning ones that are trying to develop new skills of getting a girl in the sack instead of just being straight up. I have had them too and sure at least they're being honest. It's the above ones you need to worry about

I was chatting to a lad that seemed great and as soon as i gave him my number he rang immediately asking me to send him pictures..not just any pictures.. he was quite specific too In return I would get to see him in uniform. Well I turned down the offer needless to say ha

Galvasean

chocolatrose wrote: »

I have only been online dating for a few weeks and the amount of lads that initially posed as looking to properly date as opposed to nsa but later it became quite obvious what they wanted to achieve, I have lost count. These are lads that have up looking for a relationship and all the usual looking for a genuine nice girl in their profile. I guess these are the cunning ones that are trying to develop new skills of getting a girl in the sack instead of just being straight up. I have had them too and sure at least they're being honest. It's the above ones you need to worry about

Hmm, could my 'looking for relationship' status be working against me? I change from 'nothing serious' to 'looking for relationship' the odd time (damn you lack of middle ground!!!!), but am currently on 'relationship' and on a 'dry spell'.
Are girls really that put off by guys who say they are 'looking for a relationship' due to the amount of fakers?
To me the 'nothing serious' option sounds a little bit NSAish though.
What is a boy to do...

srm23

chocolatrose wrote: »

Sure surely through even chatting to her you have gotten a feel for what she might or might not be up for

well i find on pof if you chat to any half normal girl she'd run a mile if sex on first date is brought up, so i plan having chat & few drinks then going for it.

Galvasean

srm23 wrote: »

well i find on pof if you chat to any half normal girl she'd run a mile if sex on first date is brought up, so i plan having chat & few drinks then going for it.

Ah yes, blatant dishonesty. always a good way to get the ball rolling.