The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

the_syco

dub5 wrote: »

Someone that matches their description or person from on line.....half of the guys on POF could be done for false advertisement.

So lying about yourself in your profile gets you dates? Interesting. What sort of lies are they?

srm23 wrote: »

[It works] two out of three times.

I can never be sure if this is satire, but if it's not, I'd wonder how many get charged for sexual assault, and/or get the crap kicked out of them?

That_Guy wrote: »

a game or two of pool in the Hideout.

For future reference, where is this?

=-=

Meh, no luck so far. PoF seems full of people who either can't write more than one line, or for some odd reason or other can't use all the keys on the keyboard, and all words must be three to five letters long :pac:

OKC tends to be better, but no-one really responds to my messages. I probably should just carpet bomb the same message to multiple women, but I don't see the point.

Micky 32

ChannelNo5 wrote: »

You just totally contradicted yourself there man! You say that all women are interested in is looks but just before that you say that "Mr average will end up with the women who have no regard for their appearance or look after themselves by being over weight etc. What about her personality? Just because she's overweight doesn't mean she doesn't look after herself or she's not a beautiful person.

I am an average woman. I don't get loads of mails from hot men nor do i want them. My expectations are not unrealistic. What i'd like is an average guy who is not looking for a shág/ego boost/laugh at my expense but that's what i get more often than not. And i am definitely NOT naive. However, i don't tar all men on OL dating with the same brush although that has been my overiding experience. Bitterness is a very unattractive quality and if i thought about men the way you think about women i probably wouldn't have much success either :rolleyes:

I'm not contradicting myself and secondly i have high regard for women but unfortunately not on POF, what i have had to deal with on there. I'm just saying the way the world works. Yes men are shallow and i certainly won't date anyone i'm not physichally attracted to. I'm not into over weight women sorry, i like curves to a certain degree. Man or woman, it's all about looks at the start, doesn't matter how beautiful the personality is. So if a guy who looks like a 30 stone Mr Bean you're gonna care about his loving beautiful personality? Come on!

I hate to burst the bubble for women, they are busted, looks matter more than personality just as much as men. It's a myth... At least us men admit it.

On a dating site there is a lot of men wanting just sex. If that's all they want they will message someone that will be below their attractiveness because they won't be fussy as they're only looking for a roll in the hay. So a lot of average women will get mail from hot guys. So this makes the woman feel " special" and when ordinary Joe soap writes she turns her nose up.. I know this from experience..women are constantly looking for better on POF....

Regarding women complaining about messages like " Hi how are you?". If the guy was a total hunk or if it was Brad Pitt himself on POF they would reply straight away with the eye lashes fluttering no matter how short the message was :rolleyes:

Another thing that gets up my nose when i hear of dating experiences, women more so is when they meet the guy " His pic was deceiving, didn't look like his pic blah blah" but once again if he doesn't look like his picture and he is way more attractive than his picture you won't hear her complainig he deceived her lol

mood

Larianne wrote: »

I have heard from two seperate guys that their housemates etc. go on POF and pretend to be looking for a relationship/dating but are really on it to get their hole. Then string the girls along.

You can't take what is written on a profile as gospel. You need to judge for your self if someone is genuine or not.

chocolatrose

I agree to a certain extent with what you're saying but this I don't.

Micky 32 wrote: »

If the guy was a total hunk or if it was Brad Pitt himself on POF they would reply straight away with the eye lashes fluttering :rolleyes:

I have got messages from guys that I would consider really attractive but all they said was 'hi' and from looking at their profile knew I would not be interested be it arrogance or whatever else so I didn't feel the incentive to reply back even with all their looks so personality does count for something, at least with me. I don't think all girls would reply to an arrogant boring Brad Pitt lookalike just because they were hot.

Northclare

Micky is like myself he seen enough of the empress prancing around in the nip.
Or for the ladies who had enough of us shallow guys they realized the emperor has no clothes.
I'm speaking for myself here,no compromise with Northclare lol
I'm a nice guy seriously

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I agree with this to an extent. Yes a lot of women do get inundated with messages and seem to have more options available to them. A previous female poster said she got 15 dates in one year. That's quite a lot. I don't think there's any men who have had that many dates. I've only had 1 date in 16 months. However I don't think they have high expectations. A lot of women seem to be just dipping their toes or trying it out of boredom. I've spoken to a lot of women on POF who say they're unsure about it and are hesitant to meet anyone. All the pervs looking for NSA doesn't help matters either. It makes it difficult for the nice guys who just want to meet women.

Surely it depends on how active you are on site and how fussy you are (regarding number of dates). I have had a few date but could have had plenty more if I turned a blind eye to certain things.

I 100% agree with the bolded text!

Larianne

mood wrote: »

You can't take what is written on a profile as gospel. You need to judge for your self if someone is genuine or not.

Oh, I know this but a lot of girls seem to fall for it.

Micky 32

chocolatrose wrote: »

I agree to a certain extent with what you're saying but this I don't.



I have got messages from guys that I would consider really attractive but all they said was 'hi' and from looking at their profile knew I would not be interested be it arrogance or whatever else so I didn't feel the incentive to reply back even with all their looks so personality does count for something, at least with me. I don't think all girls would reply to an arrogant boring Brad Pitt lookalike just because they were hot.

Hmm well that's funny...a friend of mine tested the theory once. He is average looking and wasn't having much luck. He posted a fake profile ( not that i condone that messing about ) and put a picture of a hunk, model on his profile.. Firstly his inbox got lots of mail from women initiating first and all he wrote was " Hi" " hello" and 90% of the time he got replies :rolleyes:

Esoteric_

TG, I'm afraid the Hideout is closed down and has been for a few months!


Guys, some of you need to chill out a bit. The attitudes towards women displayed here by a few men are disgraceful and very stereotypical. If you're that disheartened by online dating, just take a few months out from it just like everyone else does when it gets annoying. I don't think insulting women (in general terms, rather than posting a ridiculous message from one woman) is going to help you guys here, since the thread is frequented by a lot of women. It's attitudes like that which make some women wary about online dating, and if it translates at all in your messages to women, I would wonder if maybe it's your messages that are turning women off, rather than anything else.

chocolatrose

Micky 32 wrote: »

Hmm well that's funny...a friend of mine tested the theory once. He is average looking and wasn't having much luck. He posted a fake profile ( not that i condone that messing about ) and put a picture of a hunk, model on his profile.. Firstly his inbox got lots of mail from women initiating first and all he wrote was " Hi" " hello" and 90% of the time he got replies :rolleyes:

Well, you can be damn sure if there is a profile up of a woman that is stunning and promiscuous looking but happens to have no personality to go along with it there is many a man that will throw a message her way too. It's not a gender issue. It works both ways. There's all kinds of everyone. You just have to weed out the wrong ones to find the cream of the crop.

Micky 32

chocolatrose wrote: »

Well, you can be damn sure if there is a profile up of a woman that is stunning and promiscuous looking but happens to have no personality to go along with it there is many a man that will throw a message her way too. It's not a gender issue. It works both ways. There's all kinds of everyone. You just have to weed out the wrong ones to find the cream of the crop.

Yes of course without doubt, if a nice looking girl just wrote " Hello" i'd reply and give her a chance.. But it's the women on here are complaining about it, not the men ;-)

Actually women who have wrote just hello i had great dates with them ;-) So just because someone writes a short intro don't dissmiss them ;-)

Daveysil15

Well in fairness a lot of women complain about the simple "Hi, how are you?" messages, yet when you do make an effort with a proper message, they only reply with a few words. The amount of women that have replied to me with one or two words, after I sent a message with a couple of paragraphs. There are a few exceptions of course, but generally there's no real effort to reciprocate the conversation. Maybe its because they're getting so many messages they don't have time to reply to them all properly.

chocolatrose

Micky 32 wrote: »

Yes of course without doubt, if a nice looking girl just wrote " Hello" i'd reply and give her a chance.. But it's the women on here are complaining about it, not the men ;-)

Actually women who have wrote just hello i had great dates with them ;-) So just because someone writes a short intro don't dissmiss them ;-)

Well, I would give them a chance too if I liked the look of their profile on the whole not just what they looked like.:)

It's the messages that start with just a hi and also end up leading nowhere after the hi with just very short boring responses that annoys me.

Micky 32

chocolatrose wrote: »

Well, I would give them a chance too if I liked the look of their profile on the whole not just what they looked like.:)

It's the messages that start with just a hi and also end up leading nowhere after the hi with just very short boring responses that annoys me.

Usually if i get a hi and like the profile i'll answer to give a chance but if the responses keep like that it gives me the impression they may not be interested in chatting really.. Most cases that i have replied to a hello usually turn out ok.

Larianne

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Well in fairness a lot of women complain about the simple "Hi, how are you?" messages, yet when you do make an effort with a proper message, they only reply with a few words. The amount of women that have replied to me with one or two words, after I sent a message with a couple of paragraphs. There are a few exceptions of course, but generally there's no real effort to reciprocate the conversation. Maybe its because they're getting so many messages they don't have time to reply to them all properly.

Guys or girls don't owe you anything if you send them a message. I really don't understand why people get so hung up on it!

coco_lola

POF Profile:

Intent: Isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment


*Reads down further to Profession, etc. section*


I am seeking a woman for Long Term



No commitment... wants long term....

Other

Hello there folks,

So I've made a new profile on boards. The reason being that I don't generally post much anyway but I sometimes use my other one for freelance work etc (i'd rather such people didn't read casual banter). I've been reading around more and more on the casual side of boards for quite a while but don't post, even though I'd like to (I really feel like I've been missing out on the craic). So, I hope you don't look down on such a thing?? However, just so you all know, I have no idea who any of you are and you wouldn't know who I am.

So, anyway, thanks for all your posts, you've helped guide or misguide me greatly into my experiment with online dating sites. It's OKC at the moment, pof sounds a little daunting for right now.
Congratulations to all you who have had successes and I wish the rest of you the best of luck.

Even though I've got some great info on here, there's a couple of things I might ask, if that's ok:
Firstly, I guess it's kind of OD ettiquette related. I was messaging a really lovely girl when I first signed up, she went missing for a few days, which was fine, then she told me why (the sun mainly) but then I just wasn't at the internet for a couple of weeks. I messaged her again, explaining why etc ..... no reply since. Now, it's grand, but my question is this: Is that considered bad form, generally? like, once you start talking with someone, is continuous communication expected?

Secondly, I've received a few messages from women, some of which are "hi, how are you's", usually no picture... so I don't reply and I'm fine with that. But I've got a couple of kinda nice ones, but I just know that I don't want to ever date the person (not because they are especially unattractive or anything) and I feel a bit terrible about not replying. And, I'd feel bad just answering their questions without any effort in the reply. So, what's the best thing to do? not reply? reply without effort? let them know I have no interest? .... they seem nice enough like, I just don't want them to think I'm interested and I'm not on there to meet friends really.

I'm sure I've plenty more to say, but sure I guess I'll leave it at that for now. Thanks for having me.

Cheers

chocolatrose

coco_lola wrote: »

POF Profile:

Intent: Isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment


*Reads down further to Profession, etc. section*


I am seeking a woman for Long Term



No commitment... wants long term....

I guess he's making sure that whoever takes interest knows pretty damn well that he never wants anything more than NSA ever. Emotionally unavailable for the long term haha:D

Honey-ec

chocolatrose wrote: »

Well, you can be damn sure if there is a profile up of a woman that is stunning and promiscuous looking but happens to have no personality to go along with it there is many a man that will throw a message her way too. It's not a gender issue. It works both ways. There's all kinds of everyone. You just have to weed out the wrong ones to find the cream of the crop.

This. The "blurb" on my profile is very acerbic, and I'm happy with that, it weeds out the idiots I'd have nothing in common with. Last Saturday night, with a few drinks on board and on a dare from my sisters, I changed my profile pic to one of me in a bikini with my back to the camera. Left my profile as-is, which would make it very clear I'm no bimbo.

121 messages when I woke up the next morning.

Women aren't the only shallow ones, dudes, I hate to break it to you...

Larianne

Other wrote: »

Even though I've got some great info on here, there's a couple of things I might ask, if that's ok:
Firstly, I guess it's kind of OD ettiquette related. I was messaging a really lovely girl when I first signed up, she went missing for a few days, which was fine, then she told me why (the sun mainly) but then I just wasn't at the internet for a couple of weeks. I messaged her again, explaining why etc ..... no reply since. Now, it's grand, but my question is this: Is that considered bad form, generally? like, once you start talking with someone, is continuous communication expected?

Is what bad form? You going missing or her not replying to you? I think, in general, if you start having a mail conversation with someone and they disappear for a while, geniunely or not, the other person will think you found someone of more interest. Then when you get back to them its a case of "Oh so now you want to talk to me?" etc. etc.

So to answer your question - yeah it would be expected.

Other wrote: »

Secondly, I've received a few messages from women, some of which are "hi, how are you's", usually no picture... so I don't reply and I'm fine with that. But I've got a couple of kinda nice ones, but I just know that I don't want to ever date the person (not because they are especially unattractive or anything) and I feel a bit terrible about not replying. And, I'd feel bad just answering their questions without any effort in the reply. So, what's the best thing to do? not reply? reply without effort? let them know I have no interest? .... they seem nice enough like, I just don't want them to think I'm interested and I'm not on there to meet friends really.

I'm sure I've plenty more to say, but sure I guess I'll leave it at that for now. Thanks for having me.

Cheers

THis has been debated MANY a time. Personally, sometimes I would reply to them and sometimes I wouldn't.

Daveysil15

Larianne wrote: »

Guys or girls don't owe you anything if you send them a message. I really don't understand why people get so hung up on it!

I'm not saying I'm owed anything. It's just a bit hypocritical when people complain over others sending short messages, when they're essentially doing the same thing.

Other

Thanks larianne.

I was referring to my going missing. It wasn't like I was on the site or anything. I'm fine with it, was just wondering if that's how it is or whether it was just her specifically. Good to know.

I see about the other thing, I guess it's just up to me so. Was just wondering if there was an expected approach. It's not that I'm inexperienced talking to women or anything, but I must say this is new and there's certainly a few loose "rules" that may seem obvious to OD savvy folks but it's not easy to just communicate and be nice (i don't mean to exagerate, but just small things like "your messages are too long" "your messages are very short" "your profile is very long so i didn't read it but hi ...... ". For the most part it's going ok though)

:-)

Larianne

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'm not saying I'm owed anything. It's just a bit hypocritical when people complain over others sending short messages, when they're essentially doing the same thing.

There are a lot of contradictions on Online Dating! :pac: I get what you mean now though.

Other wrote: »

Thanks larianne.

I was referring to my going missing. It wasn't like I was on the site or anything. I'm fine with it, was just wondering if that's how it is or whether it was just her specifically. Good to know.

I see about the other thing, I guess it's just up to me so. Was just wondering if there was an expected approach. It's not that I'm inexperienced talking to women or anything, but I must say this is new and there's certainly a few loose "rules" that may seem obvious to OD savvy folks but it's not easy to just communicate and be nice (i don't mean to exagerate, but just small things like "your messages are too long" "your messages are very short" "your profile is very long so i didn't read it but hi ...... ". For the most part it's going ok though)

:-)

Well that's just my opinion.

Yeah, takes a while to get into the online dating groove. :pac:

MarkyTheLips

I noticed a while back if you sent a message from a mobile device it wouldn't give a subject box for you to type in. This resulted in your message being sent with a default subject of "hi". Not sure if they ever addressed that issue but it makes me wonder how many messages got binned without being opened because someone saw "Hi" and went "Ah not this tripe again". Personally I didn't like the subject box idea in the first place.

I went on 8 POF dates in 18 months, all really nice people except for two nutters, cancelled my account while I was going out with a girl I met IRL that I dated for 3 months and then reactivated it just before christmas. Miss Right hasn't come along yet, but on the flip side I haven't been Mr. Right to those people either ... Life goes on!

Other

Larianne wrote: »

Well that's just my opinion.

Yeah, takes a while to get into the online dating groove. :pac:

Yea I bet! Sure it's not even ok to say "hey look I'm kinda new at this" because they may well assume that your just "dipping your toe and not really into dating", which isn't the case.

Onwards and upwards:)

Daveysil15

POF SCIENCE

The three groups of people that use Plenty Of Fish:

1) "The Creepy Guy Trying To Get Laid"
Making up 60% of the POF population, the Creepy male breed is a curious one in that mere pornography alone will not quench his thirst for sexual pleasure! Further, this creature is disillusioned with the possibility that there are in fact girls who not only share in his sexual hunger, but would be charmed and flattered when demanded to show their breasts whilst they salivate to see him touch his private parts!

2) "The Hot Girl, Too Good For This Site"
The second large POF breed makes up 30% of the POF population and upwards of 80% of all its female patrons. Perhaps even more curious than the Creepy guy who fondles himself, the Hot Girl is steadfast in her resolve to show how beneath this site and all whom frequent it are to her! When they are not ignoring IM's and emails, they are uploading their latest alluring self photos which shows off not only their considerable physical features, but also the make and model of their digital camera.

3) "The Honest Crowd"
The Honest Crowd is a mixture of both males and females. They are outnumbered 9 to 1 and make up only 10% of the POF population. It has been suggested that these men and women are on the verge of extinction. Unlike the Creepy Guy (who is futilely clawing for an opportunity to share his genitals), and the Hot Girl (who spends her day on a dating site with no interest to date), the few remaining members of the Honest Crowd take part in this sites intended goal. Whether Male or Female, they realize this site is not an outlet to get laid, or tease members of the opposite sex with a variation of more and more revealing photos.

That sums it up!

Larianne

Got a rare decent message! Commented on my profile, asked questions, mentioned things we had in common and was light hearted and funny. YAY!

Not a fan of his mode of transport though. :cool::pac:

Herrick

Larianne wrote: »

Got a rare decent message! Commented on my profile, asked questions, mentioned things we had in common and was light hearted and funny. YAY!

Not a fan of his mode of transport though. :cool::pac:

Tractor? :pac:

If so, plenty of road frontage is most likely guaranteed :pac:

Larianne

Herrick wrote: »

Tractor? :pac:

Horse and cart! Cruelty to animals. :cool:

MarkyTheLips

Larianne wrote: »

Horse and cart! Cruelty to animals. :cool:

Coulda been a pic of him with his ex :pac: