The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Larianne

That_Guy wrote: »

Perfectly alright to be nervous lad but just try and make it as relaxed as possible so you're both comfortable in each others company.

Think of it as meeting up with a friend (thanks Larianne ) and just (cliche) be yourself. If you know loads about her and she knows a bit about you then conversation should come naturally.

G'luck mate.

Yeah, you owe me!

Good luck at the weekend Wobblyknees. But as TG mentioned above, just try think of it as just meeting up with a mate. Helps settle the nerves a bit. I think too many guys/girls put pressure on themselves for the date to be this most amazing film story date. Doesn't work like that. Least if you're somewhat relaxed, you'll tend to be less likely to trip up over all your words etc.

smallgarden wrote: »

There's times on first date I'm nervous and come out will all sorts of crazy stuff that I cringe inside after ive said it. I'm not great at small talk,much better at conversation once I get to know someone better so can have more meaningful conversation.had date with lovely guy last night but don't think I'll be hearing from him again

Why do you say this?

You should have a few things to talk about if you've been messaging back and forth, no?

smallgarden

We were chatting for almost four hours so there were some awkward silences and awkward crazy talk.I just didn't get impression I'd hear from him again,blurted out maybe meet up again as headed for bus to which he didn't reply too enthusiastically but you never know

dub5

Daveysil15 wrote: »

dub5 I hope you're seeing this. It's a much more accurate experiment than the one we did. :pac:

hmmm....interesting. Still only got 3 replies from the experiment. Very disappointing:(

smallgarden

On separate note what are people's opinions on the show interest button.I use it if after reading guys profile if I like it.I find it's better than meet me as meet me is based on pics alone

smallgarden

dub5 wrote: »

hmmm....interesting. Still only got 3 replies from the experiment. Very disappointing:(

Were they all the same message?

dub5

smallgarden wrote: »

Were they all the same message?

No, 3 replies from 3 different guys. Both myself and Davey sent 20 mails each

Daveysil15

dub5 wrote: »

hmmm....interesting. Still only got 3 replies from the experiment. Very disappointing:(

How do you think I feel? I've only had one date in over a year. What's interesting is that the good looking guy didn't even get as many messages as the average looking girl. And the 2 good looking girls got over 400 messages. Although that's probably too much. How the hell would they choose? They're probably more concerned with the ego-boost rather than trying to narrow it down and pick one for a date.

smallgarden

Were daveys all the same message?I'd say the difference in emails are more due to traditional view of the guy contacting the woman first.it'd be interesting to see if the hottest guy got high reply rate to a message

Galvasean

The Master wrote: »

It's always the same line "My mate is on that site and is riding a different bird every week" etc..

Hmm, if he's going through that many it doesn't sound like many of them came vack for seconds...

chocolatrose wrote: »

I can't understand why men, in my case, don't just make it clear what they are after from the get go.. I mean why have up looking for a relationship if what you really want is nsa and drop the girl as soon as you get it..why are these lads doing this?

I hate to be cynical, but I think it is very very obvious why they do this. Clearly they know most girls would not give them the time of day if they were up front about their intentions.

Daveysil15

Has anybody been to any of the singles nights that are organised on POF? I'd like to hear peoples experiences with those. It's a good idea actually. Rather than spending months talking to people behind a computer, you're getting out and meeting real people. There should be more singles nights.

dub5

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Has anybody been to any of the singles nights that are organised on POF? I'd like to hear peoples experiences with those. It's a good idea actually. Rather than spending months talking to people behind a computer, you're getting out and meeting real people. There should be more singles nights.

Singles nights are great nights. Way prefer to go to these nights rather than one on one dating. At least you are not stuck with the same person for the night. I think as well everyone is very chatty and approachable as we are all single there and in the same boat. There is no wondering, what if I talk to that guy, will his girlfriend come along in a minute

chocolatrose

[QUOTE=Galvasean;79316159
I hate to be cynical, but I think it is very very obvious why they do this. Clearly they know most girls would not give them the time of day if they were up front about their intentions.[/QUOTE]

Oh I know exactly why they do it like but it's more the having their status set for looking for a relationship that bugs me when it turns out that's not what they want or even close..it's just mind boggling

Wish I could read people better instead of wasting so much time..oh well

iPink

Samich wrote: »

6 months. 6 poxy months. That's how long it took,

Try 2 years

I don't mean to brag but I think my 7 years (on & off, more off than on at times with many many tears of desperation) trumps your 2 years... To finally find someone worth deleting my account for... It was POF in the end (but I was also on a number of other sites) & I kissed more frogs than I care to admit to before meeting him lol ;-)

he was only on it a week or two before he hit jackpot ;-) go figure lol

To all those thinking of giving up.... Don't! I had logged on to delete my account for the last time (maybe ;-)) after having been subjected to some really distasteful abusive emails from another member when I saw his message!

Also I would say- try something different.... I had a 'rule' that I wouldn't respond to guys living more than 50 miles from me.... This guy lives almost 150 miles away!! After almost a year together we are moving in together this summer :-)

You wouldn't believe some of the a55holes I met online and in person... one was in the local paper 3 months after our (1 & only) date, arrested & convicted for robbery with a weapon & GBH... :O
Another informed me, after we had been seeing each other (clothes on & off) for around 3 months that 'he just didn't like big girls after all!!' Oh yes, we were in bed at the time!

I could go on... But I won't ;-) just please don't give up... everyone deserves happiness (in whatever form that comes in for you) & it might be just around the corner, you never know!!

Good luck! X

Daveysil15

dub5 wrote: »

Singles nights are great nights. Way prefer to go to these nights rather than one on one dating. At least you are not stuck with the same person for the night. I think as well everyone is very chatty and approachable as we are all single there and in the same boat. There is no wondering, what if I talk to that guy, will his girlfriend come along in a minute

Where are these nights usually held? How do you identify each other? Do you have POF name tags or something?

dub5

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Where are these nights usually held? How do you identify each other? Do you have POF name tags or something?

Check out the "Forum" Section on POF

iPink

iPink wrote: »

I don't mean to brag but I think my 7 years (on & off, more off than on at times with many many tears of desperation) trumps your 2 years... To finally find someone worth deleting my account for... It was POF in the end (but I was also on a number of other sites) & I kissed more frogs than I care to admit to before meeting him lol ;-)

he was only on it a week or two before he hit jackpot ;-) go figure lol

To all those thinking of giving up.... Don't! I had logged on to delete my account for the last time (maybe ;-)) after having been subjected to some really distasteful abusive emails from another member when I saw his message!

Also I would say- try something different.... I had a 'rule' that I wouldn't respond to guys living more than 50 miles from me.... This guy lives almost 150 miles away!! After almost a year together we are moving in together this summer :-)

You wouldn't believe some of the a55holes I met online and in person... one was in the local paper 3 months after our (1 & only) date, arrested & convicted for robbery with a weapon & GBH... :O
Another informed me, after we had been seeing each other (clothes on & off) for around 3 months that 'he just didn't like big girls after all!!' Oh yes, we were in bed at the time!

I could go on... But I won't ;-) just please don't give up... everyone deserves happiness (in whatever form that comes in for you) & it might be just around the corner, you never know!!

Good luck! X

Nice to hear a good news story, it seems to be all negative stuff on here lately as I mentioned before.

I'm only on OKCupid and am not sure about whether to try others or not.

GrumPy

I has a date. Not until first week of July cause we are both poor till then, :pac: But looking forward to it.

Monkeybonkers

Been on POF a few weeks now. No replies in my inbox or from any of the people I've messaged. Time to delete my account.
Back to the pub I think. At least you can drown your sorrows there

Larianne

Takes a while to get the hang of it MB. Maybe change your profile around a bit, put up more photos.

Monkeybonkers

Larianne wrote: »

Takes a while to get the hang of it MB. Maybe change your profile around a bit, put up more photos.

Have 8 photos up. Don't think it's really my kind of thing anyway. Just thought I'd give it a go and see what happened. Think I'll stick to more traditional methods.

Good luck to all you others. Hope it all works out

MarkyTheLips

GrumPy wrote: »

I has a date. Not until first week of July cause we are both poor till then, :pac: But looking forward to it.

Good stuff out of you grumps!

CastorTroy

Quick question. If sending a message to a lady on the site, would it be better to refer to her picture at all or just stick to what's in the profile just to not come across as too shallow?

Galvasean

CastorTroy wrote: »

Quick question. If sending a message to a lady on the site, would it be better to refer to her picture at all or just stick to what's in the profile just to not come across as too shallow?

Usually if I refer positively to someone's profile picture in a mail I get a 'thank you for the compliment ' response which completely ignores everything else in my message... so I'm gonna recommend the 'no' option to be honest.

Esoteric_

What Galva said tbh.


I'm a little confused. I got a message from one guy, who had clearly read my profile, because he mentioned several things on it in his message to me. He said that he thinks we have a lot in common. So, I figure 'Great, someone with similar interests, proper spelling and grammar, who is cute to boot,' and check out his profile. Long, detailed, not one single thing in common with me. I drink, he doesn't. I'm atheist, he's Buddhist. I'm into rock and heavy metal, he's into jazz. I like acting, archery and science, he likes football and IT. The only thing we had even slightly in common was that he's a guitarist and I play guitar and sing. Why would you say we have loads in common when we don't?

Also, got a message from an 18 year old emo boy saying 'whoa, the awesomeness of you xxxx.' Cheered me up my bad mood quite a bit! :pac:

Samich

LyndaMcL wrote: »

What Galva said tbh.


I'm a little confused. I got a message from one guy, who had clearly read my profile, because he mentioned several things on it in his message to me. He said that he thinks we have a lot in common. So, I figure 'Great, someone with similar interests, proper spelling and grammar, who is cute to boot,' and check out his profile. Long, detailed, not one single thing in common with me. I drink, he doesn't. I'm atheist, he's Buddhist. I'm into rock and heavy metal, he's into jazz. I like acting, archery and science, he likes football and IT. The only thing we had even slightly in common was that he's a guitarist and I play guitar and sing. Why would you say we have loads in common when we don't?

Also, got a message from an 18 year old emo boy saying 'whoa, the awesomeness of you xxxx.' Cheered me up my bad mood quite a bit! :pac:

Maybe he likes those things but just doesn't have it down as in interest? Mightn't be a huuuuge interest, but still might not hate it

That_Guy

dub5 wrote: »

what if I talk to that guy, will his girlfriend come along in a minute

I can tell her to stay at home if you like. :pac:

The Big Red Button

CastorTroy wrote: »

Quick question. If sending a message to a lady on the site, would it be better to refer to her picture at all or just stick to what's in the profile just to not come across as too shallow?

I think that, by sending her a message, it's implied that you don't find her photos to be totally repulsive! :pac:

Personally I didn't like getting those sort of compliments in the first message, simply because I wouldn't be comfortable making comments like that to someone else until I got to know them a bit. So I found it a bit awkward replying to mails like that.

I guess it just depends on the person though. Maybe some girls would love that!

CastorTroy

chatterpillar wrote: »

I think that, by sending her a message, it's implied that you don't find her photos to be totally repulsive! :pac:

Personally I didn't like getting those sort of compliments in the first message, simply because I wouldn't be comfortable making comments like that to someone else until I got to know them a bit. So I found it a bit awkward replying to mails like that.

I guess it just depends on the person though. Maybe some girls would love that!

Yeah was thinking that myself. Just wanted to get second opinions.

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Also, got a message from an 18 year old emo boy saying 'whoa, the awesomeness of you xxxx.' Cheered me up my bad mood quite a bit! :pac:

Well clearly you are so awesome that you managed to get an emo to show enthusiasm like that.:D

Galvasean

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I'm atheist, he's Buddhist.

You can be atheist and Buddhist at the same time.

*pedantic hat*

Northclare

My brother is a staunch Atheist he is so atheist that he won't even discuss religion or anything similar.
His wife is into angels,and metaphysics etc.

They are extremely happy together