The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Larianne

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I do actually write well-thought out, witty messages, Larianne. Maybe the POF 'experience' in Ireland is different somehow but clearly I'm doing something wrong!

I'm convinced in the majority of cases girls will reply to the sexy" 'hunk' who is a bit lame with the chat rather than those ordinary looking blokes like myself who actually make an effort.

Them's the breaks, sadly.

You guys keep mentioning a 'sexy hunk'. Not all girls are after the Brad Pitt lookalike you think they are! Of course, you want to find the guy attractive, but that doesn't mean chiseled jaw look.

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Exactly, in other words...most of them are just a burden, and this is the view a lot of women seen to share. You can always choose to ignore the "Hey Sexy" comments. If a man was getting those sort of comments from women it would be flattering. Women just find it creepy or annoying. Would you rather fish in a sea with a few bad fish, or fish in a sea where there's no fish at all?

To me, a guy who starts off a message saying "Hey sexy" with no other content in the mail is just after a ride. If they cannot come up with one piece of a conversation starter, query about something written on my profile (and I have quite a number of things you can ask me), why should I bother messaging them back? If a guy came up to me in a bar and said the exact same thing I'd probably say "Hello" and go back to speaking with my friends because in my experience, those guys tend to be sleazy.

Northclare

I seem to be confused with all the complaints about women and men on dating sites.

Were all adults and some of us used to greet our exes with "Hi sexy" or have funny names for our other.
But online we can be so anal and dry.

If a woman or guy wants to find the perfect partner they might be better off giving up now.
Or else just find some timid person who you can control and manipulate like you did your exe,that's why they left you in the first place isn't it or why you left them.

Dating would be more fun without having 5
Star expectations.

R019912

Northclare wrote: »

I seem to be confused with all the complaints about women and men on dating sites.

Were all adults and some of us used to greet our exes with "Hi sexy" or have funny names for our other.

.

Haha, this is very true. Gorgeous, sexy, beautiful, honey, sugarplum. Just some of the things my ex and I used to call each other.

Jeez, I can be a right cheeseball when I want

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

You guys keep mentioning a 'sexy hunk'. Not all girls are after the Brad Pitt lookalike you think they are! Of course, you want to find the guy attractive, but that doesn't mean chiseled jaw look.

This is true. Hence why I'm not being flooded with mail! :pac:

coco_lola

Galvasean wrote: »

This is true. Hence why I'm not being flooded with mail! :pac:

We love modesty too :P

Galvasean

coco_lola wrote: »

We love modesty too :P

What's that?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3M68wcB6L0s

silvervixen84

I don't see my inbox as an ego boost. I just don't get impressed by:

hi
hi sexy
copy & paste generic messages

I've put a couple of unusual things in my profile as a test to see if they pick up on it when they message me. These things are also great conversation starters so it helps create a flow.

Getting a bit disillusioned at this stage though, usually one of us loses interest after a few messages. I just think I interact better face to face with a person.

Larianne

Northclare wrote: »

I seem to be confused with all the complaints about women and men on dating sites.

Were all adults and some of us used to greet our exes with "Hi sexy" or have funny names for our other.
But online we can be so anal and dry.

So I did a little experiment there as I got a mail saying "wanna swap numbers sexy". Here's how it went (sorry if this is against the rules of the thread, I'll delete it if it is.)

Me: You'd have to give me a good reason to!

Him: your hot and i wanna have a few bottles with you in mine see how we get on promise you fun xx whats your name

Me: ha, thanks!

I'm X. And you? Not sure about the bottles in your place. YOu could be an axe murderer.

Him: im X ,,,were you from ,,,trust me thats the last thing i wanna do to you all fun with me <phone number>

Me: I'm from X, and yourself?

Him: <town> babe how about fun tonite texting meet ya for a date again xx

Me: a date again, what?

Him: how about just fun tonite im very horny looking at you xx love to tell you what id do xx

^^^ That is why I don't answer to those "Hey Sexy" type mails because the above is usually what happens and I can't be arsed wasting my time.

coco_lola

Larianne wrote: »

So I did a little experiment there as I got a mail saying "wanna swap numbers sexy". Here's how it went (sorry if this is against the rules of the thread, I'll delete it if it is.)

Me: You'd have to give me a good reason to!

Him: your hot and i wanna have a few bottles with you in mine see how we get on promise you fun xx whats your name

Me: ha, thanks!

I'm X. And you? Not sure about the bottles in your place. YOu could be an axe murderer.

Him: im X ,,,were you from ,,,trust me thats the last thing i wanna do to you all fun with me <phone number>

Me: I'm from X, and yourself?

Him: <town> babe how about fun tonite texting meet ya for a date again xx

Me: a date again, what?

Him: how about just fun tonite im very horny looking at you xx love to tell you what id do xx

^^^ That is why I don't answer to those "Hey Sexy" type mails because the above is usually what happens and I can't be arsed wasting my time.

Is it bad that the thing that bothered me most about this interaction was the fact that he used your instead of you're?

:P

I try to treat OD as if it were a bar. If a guy comes up and says "Hey Sexy", or doesn't engage me in a bar, I'm going to be as equally uninterested as I am in a guy who messages me with the same attitude.

Larianne

news just in..

Him: prob didnt make this clear enough i want you xxxx

---


Thankfully, I'm mailing a really nice guy so I haven't lost hope!

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

Him: prob didnt make this clear enough i want you xxxx

HA!!!

Galvasean

silvervixen84 wrote: »

I just don't get impressed by:

hi
hi sexy
copy & paste generic messages

Out of curiosity, what does a generic copy n' paste message tend to look like? Might be useful for us guys to know as we may be inadvertently sending out generic looking messages.

Larianne

Galvasean wrote: »

Out of curiosity, what does a generic copy n' paste message tend to look like? Might be useful for us guys to know as we may be inadvertently sending out generic looking messages.

"Hi, I read your profile and you seem really nice and interesting. My name is X, I'm 28 years old from Y. I think we have a few things in common. Would you like to chat?"

If they mention your profile but don't mention anything from your profile, its usually a copy and paste job.

silvervixen84

Example 1:

Afternoon ms how are u? How was your day I hope its being a nice day for, I'm XXX... Jus seen your profile and I quiet like what I see an read about you.... Maybe we can meet for drink or something too eat and see what happens from there XXX x hope 2 hear from u x


Example 2:

hey...how u doin....couldnt pass through without saying how cute u r....i am single guy, professional businessman, looking for some one like uuuuuuuuu...xxxxx

Above are examples of what I believe are copy and paste messages that I received about 20 seconds after logging on (a while back).


Example 3:

Hiya,

I'm new on here so i'm not sure how it works really. I'll need to add more details, cos its nothing to what some people on here say.

I've got similar interests as yourself, love my music, going gigs and exploring new types and expanding my taste. Im learning not to say music i dont like is rubbish just not my cuppa tea now, stops alot of debats and arguments.

i went traveling to XX a couple of times and the best expereince of my life, i had the bug to travel but i got stuck into making a career and have to settle for nice hoildays now.

I work as a XXX in XXX, nothing special, but i work to live and not the other way round..

You seem a cool girl, and would be nice to get to know ya.


This one appears more genuine and he comes across well in it, but it still smacks of copy & paste as it reels off a list of things already in his profile, didn't ask me any questions, or even mention something from my profile. 'similar interests as yourself' could be anything.

Or maybe I'm just being paranoid about it all

Novella

Larianne wrote: »

Flooded with "Hey", "Hey Sexy" etc. etc. Kinda crappy. Its only rarely you'll get a decent thought out message from a guy, who's actually read your profile.

Exactly. I initiate contact because otherwise the proportion of mail I get that is actually repliable to is very slim. I get messages all the time just saying, "Hey". It drives me crazy. I honestly would rather no mail. It's not like I want a guy to write me an essay but even a, "How are you/What have you done today" etc., would be better. I reply to all guys who try make conversation with me, I do appreciate the effort.

LoTwan

alibab wrote: »

Was wondering how you were getting on LoTwan . I am seeing someone also I met online he also made first contact . All going very well a few months now happy out . I went on to delete all my profiles as i was sick of it and he messaged me . We got on very well and even more so in person . It can work out well . Early days but all good . There are some good results out there

It's all good :-) having a ball. Can't believe how smoothly it has gone :cool: I'm delighted about your news

Honey-ec

Northclare wrote: »

I seem to be confused with all the complaints about women and men on dating sites.

Were all adults and some of us used to greet our exes with "Hi sexy" or have funny names for our other. But online we can be so anal and dry.

People call their partners pet names because they've created an atmosphere/environment where they're endearing/funny/sexy.

Getting them off a complete stranger is just odd.

Northclare

I know honey.

But some people don't personalise the way people greet them.

Some guys are different they might eventually get a response from someone who likes those comments.

I myself don't behave like that but the younger generation are different.

AnnyHallsal

Honey-ec wrote: »

People call their partners pet names because they've created an atmosphere/environment where they're endearing/funny/sexy.

Getting them off a complete stranger is just odd.

^This. Scrolled through 150 posts to thank it.

Novella

Northclare wrote: »

I know honey.

But some people don't personalise the way people greet them.

Some guys are different they might eventually get a response from someone who likes those comments.

I myself don't behave like that but the younger generation are different.

Not all of the younger generation are different. I'm young and I do not like having a stranger use terms of endearment towards me. I especially hate being greeted with, "Hey sexy". I don't think it's ever appropriate to start a conversation with someone you don't know by calling them, "baby/babe/sexy" etc. In my opinion, it sets the tone of the message as rather sleazy.

Also personally, I found your use of the word "honey" in the above quite patronising so as people take these things differently, I think it's best to leave it until you know someone and are better able to judge their reaction.

wobblyknees

Novella wrote: »

Not all of the younger generation are different. I'm young and I do not like having a stranger use terms of endearment towards me. I especially hate being greeted with, "Hey sexy". I don't think it's ever appropriate to start a conversation with someone you don't know by calling them, "baby/babe/sexy" etc. In my opinion, it sets the tone of the message as rather sleazy.

Also personally, I found your use of the word "honey" in the above quite patronising so as people take these things differently, I think it's best to leave it until you know someone and are better able to judge their reaction.

Were they not just referring to a username?

Honey-ec

Novella wrote: »

Also personally, I found your use of the word "honey" in the above quite patronising so as people take these things differently, I think it's best to leave it until you know someone and are better able to judge their reaction.

Erm, I think he was calling me by my username!

Galvasean

wobblyknees wrote: »

Were they not just referring to a username?

I think it was a play on words...

So just now on POF I clicked the 'new users' tab for the first time in a long time... and to be honest it may well be the last time as the screen went blank with the exception of the following three ads:

"Gay Trucker Dating Meet Single Gay Truckers Near You. View Profiles 100% Free. Join Now! www.FindGayTruckers.com

Older Dating In Ireland Easy & Free To Register. Dating For The Over-40s In Ireland. www.OlderDatingAgency.com

Dating Chinese Girls Chinese women seek men for love and date. Join today for free. www.ChnLove.asia"

With such options available to me why would I need POF anymore?

That_Guy

Galvasean wrote: »

"Gay Trucker Dating Meet Single Gay Truckers Near You. View Profiles 100% Free. Join Now! www.FindGayTruckers.com

That's very precise. :pac:

Galvasean

Gotta do something during the.. long haul.

Northclare

I wasn't having a go at anyone just answering honey's post.

Sorry if I offended anyone.

I now know how Britney felt when she said
"Oops I did it again"

Sorry

:S

AnnyHallsal

Northclare wrote: »

I wasn't having a go at anyone just answering honey's post.

Sorry if I offended anyone.

I now know how Britney felt when she said
"Oops I did it again"

Sorry

:S

The perils of communicating via the written word - does make online dating that bit more tricky!

Piliger

I find this knocking of guys messages really tiresome. I have been on POF and BN and am on POF now. I get banal, one or two worded first messages from women on a regular basis and send them too.
What's the big deal ? Lots of people don't put much in their profile and there isn't much to say until both parties establish they like the other's photo.

For me I just wish women would stop putting "average" body type when they are clearly frumpy and round. That's what the extra pounds tick box is for :P

What do people think about not answering or answering initial messages ? Is it good manners to always answer ? Sometimes it is really hard to write a message to someone who is very interested but is TOTALLY not of any interest.

ChannelNo5

ladylost wrote: »

Me too but guys rarely if ever reply!! Guess I must look like a troll

Yup me also! Can't understand it cause i'm a babe!!

supermommy

J

ladylost wrote: »

Larianne wrote: »

Yeah, I do it all the time!

Me too but guys rarely if ever reply!! Guess I must look like a troll

Same here. Mebbie we should live under a bridge together somewhere? It gets a lil discouraging after awhile