The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Mr_Spaceman

Samich wrote: »

Well the girl who had agreed to go on a date blanked me for 5 days before texting to say she was at a friends and had no credit. So just the 1 text in 6 days. Looks like that's gone down the potty.

And another nice girl I was talking to rejected me too, so back to square one.

Yet more time wasters by the sounds of it. How depressing.

Better, however, to know now rather than later.

It's their loss - that's always my attitude in similar circumstances.

Onwards!

smileyj1987

Samich wrote: »

Well the girl who had agreed to go on a date blanked me for 5 days before texting to say she was at a friends and had no credit. So just the 1 text in 6 days. Looks like that's gone down the potty.

And another nice girl I was talking to rejected me too, so back to square one.

Ah well onwards and upwards at least you saw she was time waster before you paid for a date with her :)

Samich

I'm not sure what the story is. I won't call her a timewaster just yet.

Larianne

HellFireClub wrote: »

Probably not, it's not really compatible with how I'd go at a date,

I don't really get what you're saying here.

smileyj1987 wrote: »

I would consider going to a POF event because if it was badly organised or it was full of ego trippers you could leave and just have a night out .

I think there would be less time wasters at the events. People have to make the effort to go to the event and I guess they are potentially nerve wrecking so people who go are genuinely there to meet other people. I'm sure you'd get the odd few who are messers, but the odds would be greater than online for genuineness.

I had a boardsie sing its praises to me, so I'm a bit interested in them! :pac:

HellFireClub

Larianne wrote: »

I don't really get what you're saying here.

I don't have any problems with actual dates because any dates that I go on, I make sure I know enough about the other person before I'd consider a date, that we have plenty in common, that we have similar views & values, etc. To me, going on a date with someone I really feel that I get on with, is a chance to further explore that, and a context like a group meet up, just speaking for myself, would only get in the way of that. My first dates are usually dinners, I spend time to get to know the person I'm going to meet, before I'd meet them.

I know this means fewer (but I think more engaging) dates, but this works for me, what's seldom is wonderful and all of that...

Galvasean

HellFireClub wrote: »

I got the "I just had to see you and meet you" line, to make a long story short, she wanted out of her current relationship but wouldn't take the jump until she had someone else there lined up, (she didn't admit this exactly but she did fess up to being in a relationship that she was unhappy in, so the rest of it I just put together).

Of course not all of them actually make the jump. Sometimes they feed you the 'unhappy relationship' story so you don't feel bad about yourself aytin' the face of some guy's girlfriend. It's probably not that surprising really, that someone who is willing to cheat on a partner like that would also be willing to lie to their bit on the side too. These people are best given a very wide berth. (Experience speaking here. VERY BAD experience...)

Mr_Spaceman

HellFireClub wrote: »

I don't have any problems with actual dates because any dates that I go on, I make sure I know enough about the other person before I'd consider a date, that we have plenty in common, that we have similar views & values, etc. To me, going on a date with someone I really feel that I get on with, is a chance to further explore that, and a context like a group meet up, just speaking for myself, would only get in the way of that. My first dates are usually dinners, I spend time to get to know the person I'm going to meet, before I'd meet them.

I know this means fewer (but I think more engaging) dates, but this works for me, what's seldom is wonderful and all of that...

I'm surprised you go for dinner on a first date actually. Don't you find it stifling and expensive?

I don't think the majority of women expect dinner on first dates? Or do they?

Perhaps that's where I'm going wrong? :pac:

Galvasean

They'll get coffee and like it! :mad:

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

They'll get coffee and like it! :mad:

I might even throw in a blueberry muffin as well if they're cuter than expected and laugh at my jokes!

HellFireClub

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I'm surprised you go for dinner on a first date actually. Don't you find it stifling and expensive?

I don't think the majority of women expect dinner on first dates? Or do they?

Perhaps that's where I'm going wrong? :pac:

No you're not doing anything wrong, I'd only do that once every few months if even that, I'd sooner meet someone once every few months after having time to get to know them, and them me, than to be going on loads of coffee & pub dates, I wouldn't have the patience for it and with work at the mo, I wouldn't physically have the time to do it either.

Larianne

HellFireClub wrote: »

I don't have any problems with actual dates because any dates that I go on, I make sure I know enough about the other person before I'd consider a date, that we have plenty in common, that we have similar views & values, etc. To me, going on a date with someone I really feel that I get on with, is a chance to further explore that, and a context like a group meet up, just speaking for myself, would only get in the way of that. My first dates are usually dinners, I spend time to get to know the person I'm going to meet, before I'd meet them.

I know this means fewer (but I think more engaging) dates, but this works for me, what's seldom is wonderful and all of that...

But if you go to a group meet up you could kill lots of birds with the one stone and make conversation with a few ladies and see how it goes, no?

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

I'm surprised you go for dinner on a first date actually. Don't you find it stifling and expensive?

I don't think the majority of women expect dinner on first dates? Or do they?

Perhaps that's where I'm going wrong? :pac:

I think it really depends on the person but I'm defo not a dinner date person! That's like date 5 or something ridiculous!

And also, the expense of that and what if the date is boring or turns out to be not attractive. You're stuck with them for 1-2 hours. :eek:

Galvasean wrote: »

They'll get coffee and like it! :mad:

In a bar, right, coz I ain't a fan of quiet coffeehouses.

HellFireClub

Galvasean wrote: »

Of course not all of them actually make the jump. Sometimes they feed you the 'unhappy relationship' story so you don't feel bad about yourself aytin' the face of some guy's girlfriend. It's probably not that surprising really, that someone who is willing to cheat on a partner like that would also be willing to lie to their bit on the side too. These people are best given a very wide berth. (Experience speaking here. VERY BAD experience...)

Happened me once recently, won't be happening to me again, that's for sure!

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

In a bar, right, coz I ain't a fan of quiet coffeehouses.

Philistine!

HellFireClub

Larianne wrote: »

But if you go to a group meet up you could kill lots of birds with the one stone and make conversation with a few ladies and see how it goes, no?

Nope, it's not the way I go at these things, I'm not saying there's anything at all wrong with it, just for all the reasons I've outlined, in relation to myself, it wouldn't be for me. I'm not saying I go on dinner dates on a first date as a rule, but where I have in the past, they've worked out very very well. I don't believe in the speed dating thing or going on a date to potentially meet multiple people, that's for some people but it's not for me, I'm a bit of a romantic, I'll try new things (like internet dating), but I'll still be looking for a romantic date and a herd of people around me also looking for a date, isn't my idea of a romantic date!

Mr_Spaceman

I would agree with the 'dinner date' as date 4-5, kind of thing.

Nevertheless, I found it amusing that another boardsie admitted he changed tactics, firing out a few "How about dinner, drinks and a nice hotel?" messages. :pac: He started getting loads of replies!

I tend to go for low-key like coffee for the first date, but whatever works for the individual, I suppose.

Second date, a nice walk and a drink maybe.

Third date? You mean a third date? Hurrah! Then something cultural and/or food involved.

Right now, even getting a fussy female on POF to reply, never mind a first date would be progress. I'm losing my mojo here!

*sigh*

HellFireClub

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Right now, even getting a fussy female on POF to reply, never mind a first date would be progress. I'm losing my mojo here!

*sigh*

I'm wondering is it related to the recession?!? Seriously though, food for thought...

Mr_Spaceman

HellFireClub wrote: »

Nope, it's not the way I go at these things, I'm not saying there's anything at all wrong with it, just for all the reasons I've outlined, in relation to myself, it wouldn't be for me. I'm not saying I go on dinner dates on a first date as a rule, but where I have in the past, they've worked out very very well. I don't believe in the speed dating thing or going on a date to potentially meet multiple people, that's for some people but it's not for me, I'm a bit of a romantic, I'll try new things (like internet dating), but I'll still be looking for a romantic date and a herd of people around me also looking for a date, isn't my idea of a romantic date!

Fair play to you... suave, old-fashioned wooing over a candle lit dinner table deserves its reward!

Mr_Spaceman

HellFireClub wrote: »

I'm wondering is it related to the recession?!? Seriously though, food for thought...

In what way exactly? I hadn't thought of that before.

Is there a correlation between reduced circumstances and online dating? Hmm...

Larianne

HellFireClub wrote: »

Nope, it's not the way I go at these things, I'm not saying there's anything at all wrong with it, just for all the reasons I've outlined, in relation to myself, it wouldn't be for me. I'm not saying I go on dinner dates on a first date as a rule, but where I have in the past, they've worked out very very well. I don't believe in the speed dating thing or going on a date to potentially meet multiple people, that's for some people but it's not for me, I'm a bit of a romantic, I'll try new things (like internet dating), but I'll still be looking for a romantic date and a herd of people around me also looking for a date, isn't my idea of a romantic date!

I wouldn't consider a group meet up a date. Its more like any other night out in a bar. You just know the majority there are single.

HellFireClub

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Fair play to you... suave, old-fashioned wooing over a candle lit dinner table deserves its reward!

It's not that I go around demanding dinner dates on a first date and I'm certainly no more able to afford it than anyone else these days, but I'd be trying to do something different or cosy like that, the odd time I might be able to afford it. Any time that I have, it's been genuinely appreciated and it's been something I really enjoyed.

HellFireClub

Larianne wrote: »

HellFireClub wrote: »

Nope, it's not the way I go at these things, I'm not saying there's anything at all wrong with it, just for all the reasons I've outlined, in relation to myself, it wouldn't be for me. I'm not saying I go on dinner dates on a first date as a rule, but where I have in the past, they've worked out very very well. I don't believe in the speed dating thing or going on a date to potentially meet multiple people, that's for some people but it's not for me, I'm a bit of a romantic, I'll try new things (like internet dating), but I'll still be looking for a romantic date and a herd of people around me also looking for a date, isn't my idea of a romantic date!

I wouldn't consider a group meet up a date. Its more like any other night out in a bar. You just know the majority there are single.

It's just not for me.

HellFireClub

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

HellFireClub wrote: »

I'm wondering is it related to the recession?!? Seriously though, food for thought...

In what way exactly? I hadn't thought of that before.

Is there a correlation between reduced circumstances and online dating? Hmm...

Ah maybe there's just a general sense of despondency out there at the monent that spills over into matters of romance...

Mr_Spaceman

Larianne wrote: »

I wouldn't consider a group meet up a date. Its more like any other night out in a bar. You just know the majority there are single.

And then, like a lion surveying a savannah, you spot your target and swoop... for a date, hopefully!

The good thing is, as you say, at least you know everyone is (allegedly!) single, so it makes things less awkward and people should, in theory, be open to approach.

I haven't been to a POF night but that's more to do with the thought of having to spend an evening under the roof with some dire R&B music thumping than anything else.

smileyj1987

smileyj1987 wrote: »

Just back from a date and I have to say it was an experience . We went out for dinner and while on the way back to the car we where holding hands and then some man comes up and says to her " I don't think your boyfriend would be too happy to see you with another would he " to say I was mortified wasn't even the easiest way to describe it . It went fairly quiet for a few minutes when we got into the car . She tried to tell me she was only on POF for a laugh but after getting to know me she wanted me badly. But I can't see myself texting or phoning her again . Ah well it could be worse . At least I hadn't fully fell for her or I would have probably kept seeing her .
Plenty more fish out there :)

Woah. That's rough. The weirdos are out there though. *hugs*

Hardonraging

HellFireClub wrote: »

My first dates are usually dinners, I spend time to get to know the person I'm going to meet, before I'd meet them.

I know this means fewer (but I think more engaging) dates, but this works for me, what's seldom is wonderful and all of that...

For me drink's would generally be a first date, altho i do like the idea of dinner, purely from a romantic perspective.Drink's can be romantic if set up correctly, the right location, seating, whispering sweet nothing



On a side note, it's pretty annoying when you meet people who are playing the field on POF and are still in a relationship :mad: .
The golden rules i've always followed in any of my relationship's was, if you're in a committed relationship, you're IN a committed relationship, if you want out, then say so .. we're all adult's after all...

HellFireClub

I was thinking (with my entrepreneurship hat on me!), that there is definitely room for a more specialised kind of a dating website, one that:

(1) Charges a membership

(2) Manages membership & rules more tightly

(3) Has an online and offline aspect to it (better meet-ups, not just pub based meet-ups, lately I'm noticing folks I know, going on mountain walking days, etc, for the purposes of opening up their social calender a bit)...

wobblyknees

Larianne wrote: »

Would you go to one of the POF events?

The fact that I have kids puts me off something like this. Too much explaining, at least online you get all of that out of the way quickly.

Hardonraging

HellFireClub wrote: »

I was thinking (with my entrepreneurship hat on me!), that there is definitely room for a more specialised kind of a dating website, one that:

(1) Charges a membership

(2) Manages membership & rules more tightly

(3) Has an online and offline aspect to it (better meet-ups, not just pub based meet-ups, lately I'm noticing folks I know, going on mountain walking days, etc, for the purposes of opening up their social calender a bit)...

This could be a runner, all tho you'll always suffer with the same face's turning up, and the fresh meat being ambushed on the day's out ...

I know a friend who does a lot of walking, with the meetup website, although she maintains the social / dating side happens in the pub, as opposed to while out walking ..

Personally I'd never let an opportunity slip past me, especially if you meet happen to click with her..

Larianne

wobblyknees wrote: »

The fact that I have kids puts me off something like this. Too much explaining, at least online you get all of that out of the way quickly.

Well they could have one place sectioned off for people with kids, one section for people looking intimate encounters, one section for friends... etc :pac:

I dunno. I wouldn't be thinking so much about it as some of you. I'd see it as a night out, having the banter with people and sure if its crap you can always go somewhere else.

The crazies must have been let loose last night. I had to block about 5 different people last night for varying reasons. :cool:

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

The crazies must have been let loose last night. I had to block about 5 different people last night for varying reasons. :cool:

What kind of crazy?
Spill the goss....