The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

wobblyknees

Larianne wrote: »

Well they could have one place sectioned off for people with kids, one section for people looking intimate encounters, one section for friends... etc :pac:

I dunno. I wouldn't be thinking so much about it as some of you. I'd see it as a night out, having the banter with people and sure if its crap you can always go somewhere else.

The crazies must have been let loose last night. I had to block about 5 different people last night for varying reasons. :cool:

Yes, but a lot of other people wouldn't and would be there for the specific reason of it being a singles night no?

Larianne

wobblyknees wrote: »

Yes, but a lot of other people wouldn't and would be there for the specific reason of it being a singles night no?

To have the craic with other people, hit it off and exchange numbers?

Same as any other night out but just more of a certainity that the person you start a conversation with is single.

Or am I missing something here?

HellFireClub

Kind of off-topic but also on topic hehe, a girl working in my local Spar shop has appeared on my radar over the last two days! She seems my age, is definitely my type, but the problem is, if she's in or around her early-mid 30's, how would I ever know if she's single or not? So you (I!) could take the chance and make a t*t out of myself or just let sleeping dogs lie and do nothing... What to do, what to do...!

Mr_Spaceman

Larianne wrote: »

I dunno. I wouldn't be thinking so much about it as some of you. I'd see it as a night out, having the banter with people and sure if its crap you can always go somewhere else.

This is a good point, actually, and worth remembering.

I'm sure we all have, at some stage, been guilty of over-analysing everything.

My problem is that I think too much

Mr_Spaceman

HellFireClub wrote: »

Kind of off-topic but also on topic hehe, a girl working in my local Spar shop has appeared on my radar over the last two days! She seems my age, is definitely my type, but the problem is, if she's in or around her early-mid 30's, how would I ever know if she's single or not? So you (I!) could take the chance and make a t*t out of myself or just let sleeping dogs lie and do nothing... What to do, what to do...!

To quote a famous philosopher: "He who dares, wins!"

Larianne

HellFireClub wrote: »

Kind of off-topic but also on topic hehe, a girl working in my local Spar shop has appeared on my radar over the last two days! She seems my age, is definitely my type, but the problem is, if she's in or around her early-mid 30's, how would I ever know if she's single or not? So you (I!) could take the chance and make a t*t out of myself or just let sleeping dogs lie and do nothing... What to do, what to do...!

If you don't ask, you don't get.

Hardonraging

HellFireClub wrote: »

Kind of off-topic but also on topic hehe, a girl working in my local Spar shop has appeared on my radar over the last two days! She seems my age, is definitely my type, but the problem is, if she's in or around her early-mid 30's, how would I ever know if she's single or not? So you (I!) could take the chance and make a t*t out of myself or just let sleeping dogs lie and do nothing... What to do, what to do...!

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

To quote a famous philosopher: "He who dares, wins!"

+

Larianne wrote: »

If you don't ask, you don't get.

= Win !


Ask her if she wants to grab a coffee sometimes... worst case she says I have a boyfriend who's from estonia and he eats cars for breakfast... yuo should run puny irish man ....

Bad Panda

HellFireClub wrote: »

Kind of off-topic but also on topic hehe, a girl working in my local Spar shop has appeared on my radar over the last two days! She seems my age, is definitely my type, but the problem is, if she's in or around her early-mid 30's, how would I ever know if she's single or not? So you (I!) could take the chance and make a t*t out of myself or just let sleeping dogs lie and do nothing... What to do, what to do...!

I online dated very briefly (but I still like to read the thread) and was in the same situation as yourself...

..I bit the bullet and asked her out. That was 4 months ago. Still together.

It may not work out, but it's always worth it to see, ya never know.

Panthro

I've been messaging a girl for the past few days, she's 8 years older than me, she's in her mid 30's.
I find her fascinating for some reason..it's been 2 days now and I haven't heard back. Perhaps I am not grabbing her attention as much as she grabbed mine.
Darn.

HellFireClub

Ye see I get my lunch sambo every day in this shop, so if I was to chance me arm and the case turned out to be that she isn't single (and I imagine this is the case!), I'm kinda going to look stuuupid going in to get my sambo in the future! Might try to suss it out in more detail tomorrow!

wobblyknees

Larianne wrote: »

To have the craic with other people, hit it off and exchange numbers?

Same as any other night out but just more of a certainity that the person you start a conversation with is single.

Or am I missing something here?

Sorry if I didn't explain properly, I understood you as saying that you would treat it as just a night out, and I can understand this. The thing is, as someone treating it as just a night out, is there not the possibility that others are not treating it as just a night out and so there is a conflict of interest there?

Bad Panda

HellFireClub wrote: »

Ye see I get my lunch sambo every day in this shop, so if I was to chance me arm and the case turned out to be that she isn't single (and I imagine this is the case!), I'm kinda going to look stuuupid going in to get my sambo in the future! Might try to suss it out in more detail tomorrow!

I doubt you'd look stupid, she might look on you a bit more favourably I would imagine for having the guts to do it.

I wouldn't try sussing it out, things can get a bit weird, especially if she's in a busy shop at lunchtime.

If you can strike up a 5/10min conversation with her, ask her out there and then.

Mr_Spaceman

Panthro wrote: »

I've been messaging a girl for the past few days, she's 8 years older than me, she's in her mid 30's.
I find her fascinating for some reason..it's been 2 days now and I haven't heard back. Perhaps I am not grabbing her attention as much as she grabbed mine.
Darn.

I'm just guessing here... but maybe she was wanting you to ask her out/ask for her number?

Girls often get bored with constant message ping-pong when they actually want the guy to smoothly move things forward.

If you do hear from her again I would strongly advise you to move to real life asap.

Just my humble opinion of course.

Hardonraging

Bad Panda wrote: »

I online dated very briefly (but I still like to read the thread) and was in the same situation as yourself...

..I bit the bullet and asked her out. That was 4 months ago. Still together.

It may not work out, but it's always worth it to see, ya never know.

Never a truer word said, life's all about experiences, if you dont ask, you'll always wonder ..

Panthro wrote: »

I've been messaging a girl for the past few days, she's 8 years older than me, she's in her mid 30's.
I find her fascinating for some reason..it's been 2 days now and I haven't heard back. Perhaps I am not grabbing her attention as much as she grabbed mine.
Darn.

Give her a day or so, see if she comes back, if not drop her a line, if the conversation picks up, try and arrange a date .. see if the step up gets her interested....

HellFireClub wrote: »

Ye see I get my lunch sambo every day in this shop, so if I was to chance me arm and the case turned out to be that she isn't single (and I imagine this is the case!), I'm kinda going to look stuuupid going in to get my sambo in the future! Might try to suss it out in more detail tomorrow!

Dude, srsly, think about this, You are asking her for coffee/ a drink ... Why ? you find her attractive/interesting. She will be delighted to know somebody find her attractive/ intelligent enough to ask out in the middle of a shop, when she's not all made up ...
And if she says no, why the awkward feeling, you like her, you're not asking to marry her yet ..

Larianne

wobblyknees wrote: »

Sorry if I didn't explain properly, I understood you as saying that you would treat it as just a night out, and I can understand this. The thing is, as someone treating it as just a night out, is there not the possibility that others are not treating it as just a night out and so there is a conflict of interest there?

But what is it then if it's not a night out? This is the bit that's confusing me.

Larianne

Panthro wrote: »

I've been messaging a girl for the past few days, she's 8 years older than me, she's in her mid 30's.
I find her fascinating for some reason..it's been 2 days now and I haven't heard back. Perhaps I am not grabbing her attention as much as she grabbed mine.
Darn.

Has she been online?

HellFireClub wrote: »

Ye see I get my lunch sambo every day in this shop, so if I was to chance me arm and the case turned out to be that she isn't single (and I imagine this is the case!), I'm kinda going to look stuuupid going in to get my sambo in the future! Might try to suss it out in more detail tomorrow!

Ah, you're hardly gonna die if she rebuffs you! Things only have to be awkward if you make it so.

Tabitha Tusdar

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

To quote a famous philosopher: "He who dares, wins!"

Larianne wrote: »

If you don't ask, you don't get.

if you dont buy the ticket you wont win the lottery :P





(unless its a scam lottery from nigeria.... never bought a ticket but i seem to win every week :P)

Mr_Spaceman

Sometimes there comes a time in man's life...

My advice (haha)?

Sweep sandwich shop girl off her feet. Bring some light relief to her working day! Coffee time for the pair of you!

Otherwise? The comfort zone can be a cruel mistress.

Carpe Diem!

Galvasean

Worst case scenario - you buy your sandwich elsewhere in future.

Best case scenario - you end up with the girl of your dreams.

The potential reward far outweighs the potential risk in this case.

HellFireClub

I don't wanna drag the thread off-topic with my lunch time blaggarding, will keep ye all posted!

Maguined

HellFireClub wrote: »

I don't wanna drag the thread off-topic with my lunch time blaggarding, will keep ye all posted!

I asked a sandwich shop girl out once. Haven't had a monster munchie since.

However regret is far worse than lack of a tasty sandwich so go for it!

Mr_Spaceman

Might as well throw out a random POF date 'experience' now I remember it.

A while ago I exchanged a few emails with a girl nearby and we seemed to have a good rapport. So off I went to the pub for a date and a few jars. All well and good.

At the time I was thinking: Nice, I like her, but kinda undecided how much, exactly. But happy to meet again and hang out or whatever.

Anyway, late in the evening (neither of us were drunk, btw) I returned from the gents and she brusquely announced: "I'm sorry, but there's no chemistry,"

... and, "you remind me of my Dad with the ring you're wearing".

Naturally, I laughed it off but was thinking: "WTF?"

How's that for gunboat diplomacy? She really had no idea of her insensitivity.

I didn't take her up on the offer of "friends" either - yet I would have been fine with that if she hadn't been so abrupt.

Them's the breaks.

wobblyknees

Larianne wrote: »

But what is it then if it's not a night out? This is the bit that's confusing me.

Bah, I'm not explaining myself at all well. I think my amatuerism is coming out here and also, I misunderstood your first point. Lets agree to agree that I am wrong.

Northclare

I'm so glad I reverted to offline dating.
POF hmmmm
I tried and tested them all and maybe its for some and not for others.

The sheer arrogance of some profiles...

"If your not into Rugby,there's no point in going on a first date "


"Love my girlies" we all love our fkn friends well I do anyway

"I prefer a Dinner date on the first date"
Well I prefer to get to know someone before I bring her out for dinner.

Those dinner dates are well dodge.


There was a polish lady who was on Anotherfriend,she was very attractive and funny,she was so good looking she managed to get out 7 nights a week on dinner dates.
Lol now she was a clever lady wasn't she.

She ended up with an absolute control freak who wined her and dined her bought her diamonds and pearls
I hope she's ok and got away from Mr Well off

I'm not that well off so if I brought a lady out for dinner she would have to be worth it

HellFireClub

Northclare wrote: »

"Love my girlies"

Yessss, this ^^^ does annoy me for some strange reason! :D

And the endless pics with a big ignorant tongue sticking out at you, WHY WHY WHY?!?

Mr_Spaceman

It's the virtually shameless check list of demands that gets me.

For example: "I only date guys over 6' 0". Okaaay... good luck with that one.

"Rugby playing, abseiling, bungee-jumping, crocodile-wrestling, skiing guys only", "wined and dined", yadda, yadda.

I feel like saying: "Erm, maybe it's me, but if you're online dating, perhaps you should modify your requirements."

Some people just take the piss.

Unfortunately, it's all the harder to find genuine, great girls because gold-digging, spoiled princesses clog up the likes of POF.

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

They'll get coffee and like it! :mad:

I don't know why but I'm still laughing at this... how right you are, chief!

:pac:

Piliger

Hardonraging wrote: »

Never a truer word said, life's all about experiences, if you dont ask, you'll always wonder ..

(snip)

Dude, srsly, think about this, You are asking her for coffee/ a drink ... Why ? you find her attractive/interesting. She will be delighted to know somebody find her attractive/ intelligent enough to ask out in the middle of a shop, when she's not all made up ...
And if she says no, why the awkward feeling, you like her, you're not asking to marry her yet ..

This is what we guys need to keep in our minds and repeat to ourselves over and over and over and over.

It's just a coffee we are asking them to ... not marriage ! not back to our beds ! (yes yes ... I know ...)

And in my (long and eventful) experience ... the very very very BEST thing to do is, when you spot a girl you really fancy, ask the girl out the first time it occurs to you. Don't wait and think and over think. Just pop the question ! How bad can it be ? How bad can she be if you make a mistake ? So she days she has a bf ... so what ? Keep smiling at her and maybe her bf will be history soon

And ... if she declines politely ... don't avoid her. Visit her shop or wherever as you do normally. Often, I believe, girls decline just out of embarrassment and being put on the spot. Her mind may well change the next time she sees you.

Larianne

Piliger wrote: »

And ... if she declines politely ... don't avoid her. Visit her shop or wherever as you do normally. Often, I believe, girls decline just out of embarrassment and being put on the spot. Her mind may well change the next time she sees you.

True that! (Well in some cases! :pac:)

HellFireClub

Piliger wrote: »

This is what we guys need to keep in our minds and repeat to ourselves over and over and over and over.

It's just a coffee we are asking them to ... not marriage ! not back to our beds ! (yes yes ... I know ...)

And in my (long and eventful) experience ... the very very very BEST thing to do is, when you spot a girl you really fancy, ask the girl out the first time it occurs to you. Don't wait and think and over think. Just pop the question ! How bad can it be ? How bad can she be if you make a mistake ? So she days she has a bf ... so what ? Keep smiling at her and maybe her bf will be history soon

And ... if she declines politely ... don't avoid her. Visit her shop or wherever as you do normally. Often, I believe, girls decline just out of embarrassment and being put on the spot. Her mind may well change the next time she sees you.

Well, some lads just are not that forward, I've genuinely always viewed asking girls out on the spot as making a complete nuisance out of yourself. I think it's a ridiculous thing to do, to ask a girl out without making any effort to find out if she is single or not. I know many guys wouldn't give a f*ck if she is single or not, it's water off a ducks back to them if she isn't, or whatever, but that isn't every guy and it most certainly isn't me.