The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Samich

Badhb wrote: »

Nope smarty pants, they were genuine.

Even if they were fake,which I have just said they were real, had you read my post properly you would have seen we didnt event make the first meet up date.

I wasn't being smart?

Was only giving my thoughts on why he deleted.

Samich

kiddums wrote: »

Just out of curiousity, what is peoples opinions on profiles with no pictures?
A big no no?

I think you're gonna hear the majority of people say they won't respond to picless profiles.

I have mine on private, don't see why I have to show everyone my pic. What's wrong with just showing the peope you're interested in?

HellFireClub

kiddums wrote: »

Just out of curiousity, what is peoples opinions on profiles with no pictures?
A big no no?

Yup, and no moreso than when they are checking out your profile, hitting the "Meet Me" button and adding you to the Favourites list, and you haven't a clue what the other person looks like, yet you can reasonably assume that they are doing all of the above for the purposes of initiating a mail FROM you...

:mad::mad::mad:

Badhb

HellFireClub wrote: »

I deleted my profile today and it didn't occur to me to go back mailing anyone I had been yapping with, to explain my rationale to them. To do so would have probably appeared like I was hoping I'd be talked out of it on some childish level, akin to talking about throwing your toys out of the pram as opposed to making a decision that POF just isn't for everyone and sticking to the decision that was made. If you're talking to some one and you haven't swopped numbers or even met or discussed meeting up, it's a bit difficult to see the offence to be honest with you, in my opinion anyway.

Well, that wasn't the site I was on. I had pics.

Nah, I don't agree.

If you are a couple of weeks into a conversation with someone, and after them releasing their real name, you do the same and yadda.....I dunno, i think its a bit ignorant not to send a goodbye and goodluck message to the person you have been building a rapport with??

HellFireClub

Badhb wrote: »

Well, that wasn't the site I was on. I had pics.

Nah, I don't agree.

If you are a couple of weeks into a conversation with someone, and after you releasing their real name, you do the same and yadda.....I dunno, i think its a bit ignorant not to send a goodbye and goodluck message to the person you have been building a rapport with??

But it is a dating site and if you are a couple of weeks into a conversation without an exchange of numbers or even a general plan to meet up, you'd have to ask in fairness is there anything really going to come out of it at all? I hear ya a bit though, it's nice to say goodbye...

I personally found POF was stressing me out, last night I was yapping to what I thought was a girl (it being a female profile), only to receive a pic of what looked like the ugliest, dirtiest, scrawniest little runt of a bast*rd in bet on chino's grinning back at me!

All I wanted to do was get off the site this morning, which wasn't helped by two people who decided to start yapping to me this morning after I had decided I was done with the site. In the midst of all of this, I had genuinely forgotten to send on an e-mail address to the one girl on the site that I'd had a normal conversation with...

Badhb

HellFireClub wrote: »

But it is a dating site and if you are a couple of weeks into a conversation without an exchange of numbers or even a general plan to meet up, you'd have to ask in fairness is there anything really going to come out of it at all? I hear ya a bit though, it's nice to say goodbye...

I personally found POF was stressing me out, last night I was yapping to what I thought was a girl (it being a female profile), only to receive a pic of what looked like the ugliest, dirtiest, scrawniest little runt of a bast*rd in bet on chino's grinning back at me!

All I wanted to do was get off the site this morning, which wasn't helped by two people who decided to start yapping to me this morning after I had decided I was done with the site. In the midst of all of this, I had genuinely forgotten to send on an e-mail address to the one girl on the site that I'd had a normal conversation with...

Well, maybe that is POF.
Never dallied much with that site myself as I reckoned it was a bit dodge.

HellFireClub

Badhb wrote: »

Well, maybe that is POF.
Never dallied much with that site myself as I reckoned it was a bit dodge.

Don't get me up on my soapbox again, I've only calmed down again this evening after a major rant earlier!

hollypink

From my relatively unsuccessful experiences with online dating, I've concluded that one of the problems is that in an online dating profile, it's very difficult to give even a flavour of your personality and indeed even your physical appearance (because photos can be deceptive). I'm not singling anyone out but just as an example from a previous post, the online dating profile of someone who is "honest, respectable, relatively successful, humorous, half decent looking ... with a bit of intelligence and decency" may convey none or only a small portion of those traits.

And indeed even if the profile does convey that, it's dependent on the interpretation of the person reading it. So you reply to/contact people (and don't reply/contact others) based on their profile and then when you meet, find that they are nothing like what you pictured, personality-wise and sometimes looks-wise. I wonder if it wouldn't be better to just go on dates with the first 10 people in your list of matches without knowing anything about them. Attraction is (for me anyway) a very unpredictable thing so trying to predict who I'll be attracted to from a few sentences and 1 or 2 photos seems doomed to failure.

mood

Galvasean wrote: »

6 months

That wouldn't bother me and ruling someone out based on that is crazy.

G-Money

I have to admit I don't know why some people only go onto dating sites for a few dates. I saw one girl who had went to the bother of creating a profile and then said on her profile she was leaving the country in a few weeks but wanted to have some fun dates before she left.

Assuming that's just not b****ox when she really means "I want a few rides", why would someone bother creating a profile to just have a few dates?

Maybe it's just me. I don't see the point of bothering with dating if your goal from the outset is to just have a few dates then end it. Seems like a bit of a waste of time.

Raven_Melody

mood wrote: »

That wouldn't bother me and ruling someone out based on that is crazy.

I don't know...

I know it sounds bad to admit it, but if I saw a guy in his 30's who hadn't been in a relationship that lasted more than a year I'd probably think twice about it.

I've hidden my POF profile... things are looking kinda good, but I don't want to jump the gun; but I can't be bothered talking to anyone else at the moment!

Hardonraging

Deleted User wrote: »

I've hidden my POF profile... things are looking kinda good, but I don't want to jump the gun; but I can't be bothered talking to anyone else at the moment!

Did the same my self this Am ....

andreac

kiddums wrote: »

Just out of curiousity, what is peoples opinions on profiles with no pictures?
A big no no?

I would never contact someone without a pic. Even if it said they had private ones i wouldnt even read the profile, but thats just me.

I have my profile set that you have to have a pic to mail me, so someone can still mail me if they have no pic up public, once they attach a pic.

My pics are set to public, really dont see why people have to keep them private, but again thats just my opinion

Northclare

Deleted mine and already my life has changed.

Got chatting to a nice lady on A walk last week,and she has invited me to dinner at hers.

I'm kinda slow when it comes to women,so I'm not sure if she is just being friendly,or interested in me.

But someone being friendly is good too isn't it

BraziliaNZ

HellFireClub wrote: »

Don't get me up on my soapbox again, I've only calmed down again this evening after a major rant earlier!

On reading your posts, I'm not saying you're not a good lookin bloke, but the reality is, the girls you're messaging probably have better looking blokes sending them messages, so they don't bother with you! It's as simple as that really!
If I was getting 10 messages a day from hot girls, and 1 ok looking girl, I wouldn't bother messaging her.
A friend of mine uses it, she sends messages to guys initially sometimes, it's pretty much 99% based on looks for her too, she will message them as long as they are not just looking for sex, whatever else is in the profile is quickly looked over, but if the guy is hot she'll send a message.
So there you go, you're probably just not all that really

njs030

I don't really understand why people have a problem talking to others who's pictures aren't up for the world to see?
Mine are set on private for two reasons- firstly because when they were on public view I was getting ridiculous amounts of mails, most of which werent very nice. Secondly I found the majority of people who sent a mail that I wasn't interested in (and I wouldn't ignore them would just say something nicely to let the know that I wasn't interested) seemed to think it was perfectly acceptably to send an abusive message calling me stuck up and/or other nasty names!
Putting the photos on private makes it a lot easier.

Also being from a small town I've come across an awful lot of people that I know, with both theirs and my pics on private it's easy to move on once I or they have realised but might be more awkward with pictures up. That's just my opinion though!!

mood

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

On reading your posts, I'm not saying you're not a good lookin bloke, but the reality is, the girls you're messaging probably have better looking blokes sending them messages, so they don't bother with you! It's as simple as that really!
If I was getting 10 messages a day from hot girls, and 1 ok looking girl, I wouldn't bother messaging her.
A friend of mine uses it, she sends messages to guys initially sometimes, it's pretty much 99% based on looks for her too, she will message them as long as they are not just looking for sex, whatever else is in the profile is quickly looked over, but if the guy is hot she'll send a message.
So there you go, you're probably just not all that really

But that is just your friend. I would read a profile to see if we would be compatible and to see if they seem nice. I'm not saying looks have noting to do with it but it's only a small part of it for me. Personality and compatibility are more important IMO with good looks being a bonus.

G-Money

I've occasionally messaged girls who have no pics on their profile, but usually only after noticing they checked out my profile first. Although I usually do that that phrase that yer man used from the IT Crowd in my head "I'm gonna gamble..."

I don't mind if a girl has private pics on her profile, but it's only fair she sends them if she initiates a mail or if you get into a bit of email tennis.

mood

notjustsweet wrote: »

I don't really understand why people have a problem talking to others who's pictures aren't up for the world to see?
Mine are set on private for two reasons- firstly because when they were on public view I was getting ridiculous amounts of mails, most of which werent very nice. Secondly I found the majority of people who sent a mail that I wasn't interested in (and I wouldn't ignore them would just say something nicely to let the know that I wasn't interested) seemed to think it was perfectly acceptably to send an abusive message calling me stuck up and/or other nasty names!
Putting the photos on private makes it a lot easier.

Also being from a small town I've come across an awful lot of people that I know, with both theirs and my pics on private it's easy to move on once I or they have realised but might be more awkward with pictures up. That's just my opinion though!!

I think that if someone has a photo up they are less likely to be already in a relationship or be married.

BraziliaNZ

mood wrote: »

But that is just your friend. I would read a profile to see if we would be compatible and to see if they seem nice. I'm not saying looks have noting to do with it but it's only a small part of it for me. Personality and compatibility are more important IMO with good looks being a bonus.

I don't know, when I tried, I initially looked at the pictures, if they were attractive that was enough for me, if the profile didn't annoy me I'd message them. You can't really tell if you'd get on or not until you meet so you may as well go on looks first in my opinion.

mood

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I don't know, when I tried, I initially looked at the pictures, if they were attractive that was enough for me, if the profile didn't annoy me I'd message them. You can't really tell if you'd get on or not until you meet so you may as well go on looks first in my opinion.

I not going to waste my time getting involved with someone who doesn't want the same things in life as me. I've not replied to some very good looking guys for that reason.

You can tell a certain amount about if you will get on by emailing but ultimately you won't know if you click or not until you meet someone.

BraziliaNZ

mood wrote: »

I not going to waste my time getting involved with someone who doesn't want the same things in life as me. I've not replied to some very good looking guys for that reason.

You can tell a certain amount about if you will get on by emailing but ultimately you won't know if you click or not until you meet someone.

Well I guess you're probably looking for something more specific as opposed to being open to anything

njs030

mood wrote: »

I think that if someone has a photo up they are less likely to be already in a relationship or be married.

That is a factor but there could be many other reasons too and it's a pity that so many people are judging on a picture that could be old or happen to be the best one of the person! If someone seems to be interesting what's the harm in having a chat? Could end up becoming a new friend if there's no chemistry.

mood

notjustsweet wrote: »

That is a factor but there could be many other reasons too and it's a pity that so many people are judging on a picture that could be old or happen to be the best one of the person! If someone seems to be interesting what's the harm in having a chat? Could end up becoming a new friend if there's no chemistry.

But surely everyone wouldn't have the time or interest in chatting to and meet every guy or girl who contacts them. It's a dating site. If someone happens to make a few friends along the way great but I wouldn't be going out of my way to do that.

Galvasean

G-Money wrote: »

I have to admit I don't know why some people only go onto dating sites for a few dates. I saw one girl who had went to the bother of creating a profile and then said on her profile she was leaving the country in a few weeks but wanted to have some fun dates before she left.

Assuming that's just not b****ox when she really means "I want a few rides", why would someone bother creating a profile to just have a few dates?

I have a friend whose a bit like this. She will be moving in a few months time, but organises 2/3 dates per week. She never lets anything go beyond a second date as she doesn't want to get attached to anyone. I asked her what's the point in that and she told me she likes 'being taken out places'. It seems a bit pointless to me. Certainly if I knew someone wasn't even going to consider trying to go anywhere with it I would not bother meeting up in the first place. I honestly think she just wants the ego or something.

BraziliaNZ

Galvasean wrote: »

I have a friend whose a bit like this. She will be moving in a few months time, but organises 2/3 dates per week. She never lets anything go beyond a second date as she doesn't want to get attached to anyone. I asked her what's the point in that and she told me she likes 'being taken out places'. It seems a bit pointless to me. Certainly if I knew someone wasn't even going to consider trying to go anywhere with it I would not bother meeting up in the first place. I honestly think she just wants the ego or something.

I can understand if she's sleeping with them all and just wanted to bang a load of guys, but why you'd bother going through all that chit chat with strangers and awkwardness for nothing is beyond me.

Galvasean

mood wrote: »

It's a dating site. If someone happens to make a few friends along the way great but I wouldn't be going out of my way to do that.

That's why when I get a "You're a nice guy BUT... hope we can be friends" message I (as politely as possible) tell them no thanks.
I have lots of friends. If I wanted to make new ones I'd join a club or society. I got into online dating because I wanted to go on a few dates and possibly strike up a relationship of some sorts.

njs030

mood wrote: »

But surely everyone wouldn't have the time or interest in chatting to and meet every guy or girl who contacts them. It's a dating site. If someone happens to make a few friends along the way great but I wouldn't be going out of my way to do that.

I agree totally with that. I suppose my point is that just because someone doesn't show a photo immediately or wants the privacy of not having them on public shouldn't mean they should be written off immediately.
If I see a profile that looks interesting with or without a picture I'll reply, if I get a message I will usually attempt a reply unless there's something in the profile that's very off putting. A few people I've spoken to with no photo turned out to be very good looking in my opinion and also some weren't my type at all. Maybe I just like a bit of mystery though!

Mr_Spaceman

Larianne wrote: »

When reading profiles I sometime think they are no different to job applications. Same adjectives in every profile. Instead of hard working, diligent, team player, uses own initiative you have honest, genuine, kind, family and family are important to me.. Makes me go Zzzzzzz.

That's a good point.

Pretty much the case from those who don't bother using their imagination (if they even have any) to create an attractive, unique, profile.

Even worse are those who don't even bother with a description. It's almost like the person is saying:" Look at ME! I'm so hot that I don't even need to create a profile description!"

I wish guys wouldn't indulge such flaky, lazy princesses. They get away with not making an effort because there are people out there stupid enough to make contact with them.