The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Mr_Spaceman

kiddums wrote: »

Just out of curiousity, what is peoples opinions on profiles with no pictures?
A big no no?

An absolute waste of time, quite frankly.

mood

Also not filling in all the fields annoys me. I assume the worst if they don't.

Mr_Spaceman

And another thing. The spurious 'body type'.

For example, I went on a date via POF once where the girl stated her body type was average. Fair enough, I've no probs with that.

And yes, you've guessed it, upon meeting let's just say she was being rather economical with the truth.

Pleasant enough chat (up to a point because I'm a nice guy) but I was fecked off right from the beginning with her dishonesty.

Why do people bulls*it about this? I'm sorry but it's not like anyone - male or female - can camoflage several layers of lard.

Timewasters.

mood

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

And another thing. The spurious 'body type'.

For example, I went on a date via POF once where the girl stated her body type was average. Fair enough, I've no probs with that.

And yes, you've guessed it, upon meeting let's just say she was being rather economical with the truth.

Pleasant enough chat (up to a point because I'm a nice guy) but I was fecked off right from the beginning with her dishonesty.

Why do people bulls*it about this? I'm sorry but it's not like anyone - male or female - can camoflage several layers of lard.

Timewasters.

I know what you mean but it is a tough one for people who are over weight. Some people consider being a bit over weight to be average whereas other people wouldn't. I never fill in my actual weight on my profile but it is obvious from my photos that I am slim.

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

I have a friend whose a bit like this. She will be moving in a few months time, but organises 2/3 dates per week. She never lets anything go beyond a second date as she doesn't want to get attached to anyone. I asked her what's the point in that and she told me she likes 'being taken out places'. It seems a bit pointless to me. Certainly if I knew someone wasn't even going to consider trying to go anywhere with it I would not bother meeting up in the first place. I honestly think she just wants the ego or something.

Stringing people along like this is the mark of a time waster in my view.

I'll wager she doesn't put her hand in her pocket either.

Apologies if I've got this wrong.

Galvasean

Isn't the 'average' body type in Ireland these days actually somewhat overweight? So technically they aren't lying. I do find 'curvy' is the most abused body description. Somewhere along the lines 'curvy' went from Jennifer Lopez/Kelly Brooke to severely overweight. That said though, sendinghaving a picture that includes most of/all of your body in it (and I don't mean naked either) should avoid all confusion.

Galvasean

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Stringing people along like this is the mark of a time waster in my view.

I'll wager she doesn't put her hand in her pocket either.

Apologies if I've got this wrong.

Actually you are spot on the mark here. That's what I meant by 'being taken out'.
Hmm, why am I friends with this person again?

mood

Galvasean wrote: »

Isn't the 'average' body type in Ireland these days actually somewhat overweight? So technically they aren't lying. I do find 'curvy' is the most abused body description. Somewhere along the lines 'curvy' went from Jennifer Lopez/Kelly Brooke to severely overweight. That said though, sendinghaving a picture that includes most of/all of your body in it (and I don't mean naked either) should avoid all confusion.

I think overweight is the average for both men and women in Ireland now. However, when I hear average body type I think not particularly sporty/tones but not overweight. A full lenght photo is a good idea.

Mr_Spaceman

Galvasean wrote: »

That's why when I get a "You're a nice guy BUT... hope we can be friends" message I (as politely as possible) tell them no thanks.
I have lots of friends. If I wanted to make new ones I'd join a club or society. I got into online dating because I wanted to go on a few dates and possibly strike up a relationship of some sorts.

Spot on.

I'm on POF for dates and hopefully something great to come out of it (although I'm not overly optimistic).

I'm not going through the whole OD bollocks just to end up in that spirit-crushing black hole, otherwise known as the 'friend zone'.

Sorry but fuck that.

Galvasean

Out of curiosity I checked out the body type choices on OKC just now. what does 'used up' mean?

Mr_Spaceman

Does anyone recommend using OKC? Are there any noticeable differences between it and POF?

Galvasean

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Does anyone recommend using OKC? Are there any noticeable differences between it and POF?

There are way less profiles than on POF but the overall standard of profile is way higher. It appears that most of the people on it are more serious about it (ie: less time wasters / ego fillers).
Although if you are outside of Dublin it's probably not very good. I was in Galway recently and the phone app updated my location. there were only 8 girls in my area (in my age group).
One quick bit of advice for when you sign up to OKC: by default it shows matches that have been online in the last year. Luckily you can change that setting.

BraziliaNZ

Galvasean wrote: »

Isn't the 'average' body type in Ireland these days actually somewhat overweight? So technically they aren't lying. I do find 'curvy' is the most abused body description. Somewhere along the lines 'curvy' went from Jennifer Lopez/Kelly Brooke to severely overweight. That said though, sendinghaving a picture that includes most of/all of your body in it (and I don't mean naked either) should avoid all confusion.

I saw Kelly Brook the other day on the street, seriously she's TINY! I think she just has massive t*ts and that's why they call her curvy

HellFireClub

hollypink wrote: »

From my relatively unsuccessful experiences with online dating, I've concluded that one of the problems is that in an online dating profile, it's very difficult to give even a flavour of your personality and indeed even your physical appearance (because photos can be deceptive). I'm not singling anyone out but just as an example from a previous post, the online dating profile of someone who is "honest, respectable, relatively successful, humorous, half decent looking ... with a bit of intelligence and decency" may convey none or only a small portion of those traits.

And indeed even if the profile does convey that, it's dependent on the interpretation of the person reading it. So you reply to/contact people (and don't reply/contact others) based on their profile and then when you meet, find that they are nothing like what you pictured, personality-wise and sometimes looks-wise. I wonder if it wouldn't be better to just go on dates with the first 10 people in your list of matches without knowing anything about them. Attraction is (for me anyway) a very unpredictable thing so trying to predict who I'll be attracted to from a few sentences and 1 or 2 photos seems doomed to failure.

Well, I think I know myself fairly well and can personally stand over what I had put up in my profile. At the end of the day, you can only do your best and describe yourself as best as you can, I didn't put up that description exactly, but my profile reflected those traits that I believe I have. If someone wants to suspect that I'm in fact a completely different person and am on a mission to mislead other people who might see my profile, on the basis of them probably being cynical or paranoid individuals, sure that's completely out of my hands and there is nothing I can do about it.

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

On reading your posts, I'm not saying you're not a good lookin bloke, but the reality is, the girls you're messaging probably have better looking blokes sending them messages, so they don't bother with you! It's as simple as that really!
If I was getting 10 messages a day from hot girls, and 1 ok looking girl, I wouldn't bother messaging her.
A friend of mine uses it, she sends messages to guys initially sometimes, it's pretty much 99% based on looks for her too, she will message them as long as they are not just looking for sex, whatever else is in the profile is quickly looked over, but if the guy is hot she'll send a message.
So there you go, you're probably just not all that really

Yeah, so you go on the date with the "hottest" girl you see in your inbox only to discover that she wants to be "taken out", and has another 5 lads like yourself lined up for the rest of the week to bring her to dinner and buy her drinks. Maybe it doesn't count for much with yourself and I imagine you're way younger than I am, but if I was going on a date with a girl, I'd be looking for a lot more than "looks" and I'd be looking to find common interests in a profile, especially I'd be looking for a girl who had some substance and direction to her life, who could hold a conversation, who had opinions, intelligence, some ambition, as opposed to someone who was just sauntering aimlessly through life. You can't explore any of these things by just looking at someone and saying, "she's the hottest so I'll chase her for a date"...


And by the way, I never said I was "hot".

BraziliaNZ

HellFireClub wrote: »

Yeah, so you go on the date with the "hottest" girl you see in your inbox only to discover that she wants to be "taken out", and has another 5 lads like yourself lined up for the rest of the week to bring her to dinner and buy her drinks. Maybe it doesn't count much for yourself and I imagine you're way younger than I am, but if I was going on a date with a girl, I'd be looking for a lot more than "looks" and I'd be looking to find common interests in a profile, especially I'd be looking for a girl who had some substance and direction to her life, who could hold a conversation, who had opinions, intelligence, some ambition, as opposed to someone who was just sauntering aimlessly through life. You can't explore any of these things by just looking at someone and saying, "she's the hottest so I'll chase her for a date"...


And by the way, I never said I was "hot".

Well probably why it didn't suit me, online dating that is, I was bored to tears by the profiles banging on about how you must be this or that, not this or that, how they love to travel and wouldn't mind someone to travel with! Love cosy nights in with a DVD or dancing with the girls!
Was all the same sh*te so yeah I reckon I went on looks mostly, as most of the profiles were the same.

HellFireClub

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Well probably why it didn't suit me, online dating that is, I was bored to tears by the profiles banging on about how you must be this or that, not this or that, how they love to travel and wouldn't mind someone to travel with! Love cosy nights in with a DVD or dancing with the girls!
Was all the same sh*te so yeah I reckon I went on looks mostly, as most of the profiles were the same.

Yeah a lot of them are the same, but also some of them aren't and actually manage to separate themselves from the generally "group think" based profiles that say, "ARE THERE ANY DECENT MEN LEFT?!?", "I'm sick of the pub/club scene", "I like going with with my mates and also like sitting in with a DVD and a bottle of wine", blah blah blah...

I genuinely believe that a lot of women on POF, especially new users, haven't a clue how to hold a conversation with a guy who might be interested in them, because they are only used to this conversation taking place in a nightclub with loads of drink being in the equation...

Samich

Any further dates over the weekend?

hollypink

HellFireClub wrote: »

Well, I think I know myself fairly well and can personally stand over what I had put up in my profile. At the end of the day, you can only do your best and describe yourself as best as you can, I didn't put up that description exactly, but my profile reflected those traits that I believe I have. If someone wants to suspect that I'm in fact a completely different person and am on a mission to mislead other people who might see my profile, on the basis of them probably being cynical or paranoid individuals, sure that's completely out of my hands and there is nothing I can do about it.

I wasn't suggesting you were trying to mislead anyone and again, I was just using it as an example, rather than singling you out so apologies if it came across that way. My point is simply that what you think your profile suggests is not necessarily what someone will pick up from it, that's all. For example, some profiles I've read have made me think "wow he seems very intense, not sure about that". It might just be his writing style and he's actually a very easy-going person but you tend to go by the profile.

andreac

Samich wrote: »

Any further dates over the weekend?

I had one and having a second tomorrow night

Samich

andreac wrote: »

I had one and having a second tomorrow night

Excellent good luck with it

andreac

God my worst line to see on a profile is : "I dont bite, unless you want me to". Aaaaahhhhhhh

Samich

andreac wrote: »

God my worst line to see on a profile is : "I dont bite, unless you want me too". Aaaaahhhhhhh

Fellas hardly have that up? :eek:

Loads of women have it up though. It's really, really not sexy :P

HellFireClub

hollypink wrote: »

I wasn't suggesting you were trying to mislead anyone and again, I was just using it as an example, rather than singling you out so apologies if it came across that way. My point is simply that what you think your profile suggests is not necessarily what someone will pick up from it, that's all.

I do think though, that if someone is putting themselves out there with a pic, they are less likely to be trying to mislead people as to who they are, what they are like, why they are on the website, or exaggerating or beefing themselves up via their profile... Maybe I'm a bit gullible at times and tend to take people at their word, something that has actually cost me a lesson or two in life in the past now that I do have to think about it!

andreac

Samich wrote: »

Fellas hardly have that up? :eek:

Loads of women have it up though. It's really, really not sexy :P

Yep, they sure do, and lots of them, so its getting a little boring to be honest:rolleyes:

HellFireClub

andreac wrote: »

God my worst line to see on a profile is : "I dont bite, unless you want me too". Aaaaahhhhhhh

Worse again, (I've found this the end of a handful of profile's, usually when a girl works in HR or recruitment),as if it's a full time job they are advertising on their profile...

You will be:

* Over 6 foot tall because I like my heels and you must be taller than me in heels,

* A non smoker, (yuk!),

* Single, unmarried with no children,

* A professional like myself.

...

ARGH!

doncarlos

HellFireClub wrote: »

usually when a girl works in HR or recruitment!

I can imagine the first date, "So, where do you see yourself in five years time?"

BraziliaNZ

HellFireClub wrote: »

Worse again, (I've found this the end of a handful of profile's, usually when a girl works in HR or recruitment),as if it's a full time job they are advertising on their profile...

You will be:

* Over 6 foot tall because I like my heels and you must be taller than me in heels,

* A non smoker, (yuk!),

* Single, unmarried with no children,

* A professional like myself.

...

ARGH!

The worst thing about that sh*t is if she is in any way decent looking, she'll still get a load of muppets messaging her. Although they are reasonable demands it's just the whole job application feel to it that turns me off.

Samich

I actually think to myself that if I was to ask the girl to bite me they'd take a massive chunk out of my arm or something :pac:

HellFireClub

doncarlos wrote: »

I can imagine the first date, "So, where do you see yourself in five years time?"

It just sounds so utterly pretentious and in a weird way, coldly indifferent, I'd even say narcissistic, to say to someone: "You will be"...

I don't really believe you get to choose all these things, you meet someone, you click, sometimes complete opposites attract, they say you can't choose who you fall in love with, I wouldn't be that "fluffy" about it, but I don't think relationships or potential relationships are like an "Á La Carte", menu like some profiles would have you believe, this kind of mindset, to me sounds somewhat detached and deluded...

HellFireClub

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

The worst thing about that sh*t is if she is in any way decent looking, she'll still get a load of muppets messaging her. Although they are reasonable demands it's just the whole job application feel to it that turns me off.

The thing is, we all have boxes we would like to have ticked, but for Christ's sake exercise the tiniest bit of humility in relation to what you are ultimately looking for. Who is to say you won't meet someone tomorrow who doesn't fit neatly into your pathetic job description?