The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

BraziliaNZ

HellFireClub wrote: »

The thing is, we all have boxes we would like to have ticked, but for Christ's sake exercise the tiniest bit of humility in relation to what you are ultimately looking for. Who is to say you won't meet someone tomorrow who doesn't fit neatly into your pathetic job description?

That's what I mean, your e.g. was quite mild compared to some of the stuff I've seen. I mean no one is perfect, and I've never had a partner without some flaws.

G-Money

One thing I've really noticed about online dating is how smokers look so much older than they actually are. I've saw several girls pictures and pegged them as at least 5 or 6 years older than they turned out to be and all of them were smokers. I've then saw older girls who look younger. It's mad. Check it out next time you're online.

Samich

G-Money wrote: »

One thing I've really noticed about online dating is how smokers look so much older than they actually are. I've saw several girls pictures and pegged them as at least 5 or 6 years older than they turned out to be and all of them were smokers. I've then saw older girls who look younger. It's mad. Check it out next time you're online.

I noticed this too, smokers should take not of the effects

HellFireClub

G-Money wrote: »

One thing I've really noticed about online dating is how smokers look so much older than they actually are. I've saw several girls pictures and pegged them as at least 5 or 6 years older than they turned out to be and all of them were smokers. I've then saw older girls who look younger. It's mad. Check it out next time you're online.

I got the same last month, met a girl who thought I was still around 26, (am 35), was kinda chuffed I have to say, I put it down to not having ever been a smoker. I couldn't agree more with ye though, some pics of smokers I saw on POF, they were the same age as me but looked at least 10 years older...

Ankhyu

On the topic of judging profiles, and who to message or reply to, I find it's a combination of everything for me.

I'll put my hand up and say that I do think looks are important, not neccessarily that they look like models, but I have to find them attractive. And that's a very subjective thing. I've gotten messages off guys whom I can see would be considered good looking, but I don't fancy them at all. And some of the guys I'd find attractive, other people would disagree with me I'm sure.

Message content has to be more than "wow", "Hi hwr u?" etc., and their profile has to interest me, whether it be the same interests, they come across as having a good sense of humour, or just seem like an interesting person.

It's very rare that someone ticks all those boxes, and I might sound picky, but I don't see the point in engaging in conversation with someone who I don't find attractive and interesting. I'm not there to make friends, as some other people have said already.

If I were to get to dating stage with a guy, and got on well with him but there was no spark, I wouldn't be opposed to remaining friends then, but I'm not going to talk to new people with the sole purpose of just having a chat.

Piliger

HellFireClub wrote: »

I do think though, that if someone is putting themselves out there with a pic, they are less likely to be trying to mislead people as to who they are, what they are like, why they are on the website, or exaggerating or beefing themselves up via their profile... Maybe I'm a bit gullible at times and tend to take people at their word, something that has actually cost me a lesson or two in life in the past now that I do have to think about it!

One would think :rolleyes: Yet I have seen, in the last few days, a lady with a photo of her on graduation at about 23yo while her profile says 44 ... wtf ?

Two years ago I met a lady in a pub around sth gt geoges street and it was clear the minute she walked in the door that her photo was at least 10 years old and 4 or 5 stone out of date .... :rolleyes:

Piliger

mood wrote: »

I know what you mean but it is a tough one for people who are over weight. Some people consider being a bit over weight to be average whereas other people wouldn't. I never fill in my actual weight on my profile but it is obvious from my photos that I am slim.

I think for a girl it is especially an issue. However girls really need to get a grip on the realities of life and how to manage their expectation.
They need also to realise that there are guys who like a rounded woman ! and it is a mistake to mislead a guy who doesn't ... because it will only lead to rejection down the line and surely that MUST be worse.
I have no idea any more what 'average' is .... it seems to encompass everything from a few extra pounds to BBW :P

Mr_Spaceman

HellFireClub wrote: »

Yeah, so you go on the date with the "hottest" girl you see in your inbox only to discover that she wants to be "taken out", and has another 5 lads like yourself lined up for the rest of the week to bring her to dinner and buy her drinks. Maybe it doesn't count for much with yourself and I imagine you're way younger than I am, but if I was going on a date with a girl, I'd be looking for a lot more than "looks" and I'd be looking to find common interests in a profile, especially I'd be looking for a girl who had some substance and direction to her life, who could hold a conversation, who had opinions, intelligence, some ambition, as opposed to someone who was just sauntering aimlessly through life. You can't explore any of these things by just looking at someone and saying, "she's the hottest so I'll chase her for a date"...

Absolutely right.

It seems there are more than a few "hotties" who like to base their social life around going out with a different mug who buys them dinner every night of the week.

OD seems to be the perfect vehicle to facilitate this quest. The mugs in question will be lucky if they end up even friend-zoned.

So, actually, while looks would grab me initially - yet briefly - on POF, I've lost count the number of times I've clicked on a good-looking girl only to pass.

Why?

Well, if someone is just going to write a couple of lines of lame, predictable guff like "I enjoy nights out and quiet nights in with a DVD" (I mean, who doesn't? FFS) without expressing their hobbies, interests, passions and the general wit to construct proper sentences, then I couldn't care less how "hot" the girl is.

Maybe it's just me.

:rolleyes:

Mr_Spaceman

doncarlos wrote: »

I can imagine the first date, "So, where do you see yourself in five years time?"

Honest to f*ck, if someone said those words to me on a first date I'd sup up and ship out sharpish.

Mr_Spaceman

Piliger wrote: »

Two years ago I met a lady in a pub around sth gt geoges street and it was clear the minute she walked in the door that her photo was at least 10 years old and 4 or 5 stone out of date .... :rolleyes:

That particular date must have been hard work...

mood

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

That particular date must have been hard work...

Piliger wrote: »

One would think :rolleyes: Yet I have seen, in the last few days, a lady with a photo of her on graduation at about 23yo while her profile says 44 ... wtf ?

Two years ago I met a lady in a pub around sth gt geoges street and it was clear the minute she walked in the door that her photo was at least 10 years old and 4 or 5 stone out of date .... :rolleyes:

Guys do it as well!

ladylost

andreac wrote: »

God my worst line to see on a profile is : "I dont bite, unless you want me to". Aaaaahhhhhhh

I've seen that on a few too :eek:

ladylost

HellFireClub wrote: »

I do think though, that if someone is putting themselves out there with a pic, they are less likely to be trying to mislead people as to who they are, what they are like, why they are on the website, or exaggerating or beefing themselves up via their profile...

I'm not sure about that. Contacted a guy last week who had pics and a profile I liked. He seemed nice and we were chatting but when it came to meeting up he was only available some very odd times. I asked about the weekends and got more of the same. Now either the guy was a bigger workaholic than my ex or he has a wife/partner. I don't beleive anyone when they say they are working 5 nights a week and all weekend every weekend!! I should have used tineye for the pics to see if they were real. Maybe he was legit but my cynical side said leave it off

Galvasean

I think I've figured out a translation for online dating language...

"I love traveling" = "I like to go on holidays"
"I enjoy nights in" = "I like to watch TV/play video games"
"I like heading out with my girlies/the lads" = "I like to get tanked"
"No time wasters!" = "I'm a borderline psychopath "

It's like 85% of profiles learned the translations from the same book. Foolin' nobody! :pac:

ladylost

doncarlos wrote: »

I can imagine the first date, "So, where do you see yourself in five years time?"

ha ha.. I said that to a guy on a date lately.. as a joke.. gave us a laugh anyway

Galvasean

ladylost wrote: »

ha ha.. I said that to a guy on a date lately.. as a joke.. gave us a laugh anyway

careful now. If someone asked me I'd answer, "Divorced from you after I had an illicit affair with your sister".

Snowie

Galvasean wrote: »

I think I've figured out a translation for online dating language...

"I love traveling" = "I like to go on holidays"
"I enjoy nights in" = "I like to watch TV/play video games"
"I like heading out with my girlies/the lads" = "I like to get tanked"
"No time wasters!" = "I'm a borderline psychopath "

It's like 85% of profiles learned the translations from the same book. Foolin' nobody! :pac:

:pac:

one day i will give you a hi5 that made me LOL :cool:

ladylost

Galvasean wrote: »

careful now. If someone asked me I'd answer, "Divorced from you after I had an illicit affair with your sister".

ah I think it was a you have to be there moment.. we were chatting and I joked it felt a bit like an interview and then threw that out for the laugh to lighten the moment
Maybe that's why we haven't met again. Now I know why I'm single :eek:

ladylost

Galvasean wrote: »

I think I've figured out a translation for online dating language...

"I love traveling" = "I like to go on holidays"
"I enjoy nights in" = "I like to watch TV/play video games"
"I like heading out with my girlies/the lads" = "I like to get tanked"
"No time wasters!" = "I'm a borderline psychopath "

It's like 85% of profiles learned the translations from the same book. Foolin' nobody! :pac:

very true... excuse me while I go and remove all these cliches from my profile immediately!!

CastorTroy

I decided when creating my account to use photos from the end of May this year. Though I could've used ones from a few years ago since I can safely say I haven't changed much in that time.

As for cliches, I think I avoided them

supermommy

ladylost wrote: »

He seemed nice and we were chatting but when it came to meeting up he was only available some very odd times. I asked about the weekends and got more of the same. Now either the guy was a bigger workaholic than my ex or he has a wife/partner. I don't beleive anyone when they say they are working 5 nights a week and all weekend every weekend!!

I work this much
But I work in the evenings to pay the bills and have my own business on the side.
This is why I've hidden my profile and am giving up for awhile. I feel like when I'm free to meet, no one else is cuz of my wonky schedule.
Makes me wonder if people think I'm married or something dodgy!!
Ah well.

Galvasean

supermommy wrote: »

I work this much
But I work in the evenings to pay the bills and have my own business on the side.

I'm in the very same boat as you. Sometimes I'm so busy with work my friends wont see me for 3 weeks. Other times you can't get rid of me for three weeks! :pac:

ladylost

supermommy wrote: »

I work this much
But I work in the evenings to pay the bills and have my own business on the side.
This is why I've hidden my profile and am giving up for awhile. I feel like when I'm free to meet, no one else is cuz of my wonky schedule.
Makes me wonder if people think I'm married or something dodgy!!
Ah well.

Maybe I was wronging him but in fairness it just sounded a bit dodgy and I couldn't see how it could lead to anything if we never get to meet. Whenever he was free I was working. I sent a mail saying I didn't think we were a match and think I was blocked so maybe he was genuine.. in any case I did the relationship with a workaholic before and it had a major impact on our relationship so I'm not looking to go down that road again

fat__tony

Galvasean wrote: »

I have a friend whose a bit like this. She will be moving in a few months time, but organises 2/3 dates per week. She never lets anything go beyond a second date as she doesn't want to get attached to anyone. I asked her what's the point in that and she told me she likes 'being taken out places'. It seems a bit pointless to me. Certainly if I knew someone wasn't even going to consider trying to go anywhere with it I would not bother meeting up in the first place. I honestly think she just wants the ego or something.

She sounds like the type of person every guy should avoid like the plague, a complete attention whore and timewaster.

Typical of POF.

supermommy

ladylost wrote: »

Maybe I was wronging him but in fairness it just sounded a bit dodgy and I couldn't see how it could lead to anything if we never get to meet. Whenever he was free I was working. I sent a mail saying I didn't think we were a match and think I was blocked so maybe he was genuine.. in any case I did the relationship with a workaholic before and it had a major impact on our relationship so I'm not looking to go down that road again

I'm not saying ya were wrong, just that there are people out there that work crazy hours. I'm not really a workaholic by any means but super committed to making my business succeed.
His reaction was a bit babyrific. Dodgy to block you for sure. I've been blocked for less tho Some people don't have thick enough skin to handle any kind of rejection.
Sometimes pof just reeks of desperation and poor self esteem..

Galvasean

supermommy wrote: »

Sometimes pof just reeks of desperation and poor self esteem..

Hardonraging

HellFireClub wrote: »

Worse again, (I've found this the end of a handful of profile's, usually when a girl works in HR or recruitment),as if it's a full time job they are advertising on their profile...

You will be:

* Over 6 foot tall because I like my heels and you must be taller than me in heels,

* A non smoker, (yuk!),

* Single, unmarried with no children,

* A professional like myself.

...

ARGH!

That's a little unfair now, the girl i took out at the weekend works in HR, and there was never any hint of a check list about the date, although barring the 6 foot I'd match up to the other requirements anyway..

In many ways I see the above and think, fair play, she knows exactally what she wants in a guy, or at least she thinks she does.

LegacyUser

An update on my rant from a few pages back.

I really need to change my Username rather than having to post on some threads as an "anon"

Anyway, Been using OKC and POF for about 2-3 months
Had my pics private until last week as I was apprehensive about being judged by looks alone
So, after going public I started to get some messages and these "Meet Me" notifications from POF,result I thought.
My profile is very honest and I think it reads well.
So I start replying to some of the messages and the meet me notifications and strike up a few conversations all light hearted etc.

What I find frustrating about the whole thing is, as many previous people have said is the "Hi" message, I mean why bother i put effort into my Profile page and that’s what I get.

Then on Sunday I was checking through the who viewed me section and I saw this one girl who looks stunning with a short but very intriguing profile, later on that evening I got a "meet me" notification from the same girl, I responded accordingly with a very nice response and Nothing !

I also have a question for all of you, how long do you talk to someone before asking to meet up or is it a case of a "feeling"

andreac

unregistered wrote: »

An update on my rant from a few pages back.

I really need to change my Username rather than having to post on some threads as an "anon"

Anyway, Been using OKC and POF for about 2-3 months
Had my pics private until last week as I was apprehensive about being judged by looks alone
So, after going public I started to get some messages and these "Meet Me" notifications from POF,result I thought.
My profile is very honest and I think it reads well.
So I start replying to some of the messages and the meet me notifications and strike up a few conversations all light hearted etc.

What I find frustrating about the whole thing is, as many previous people have said is the "Hi" message, I mean why bother i put effort into my Profile page and that’s what I get.

Then on Sunday I was checking through the who viewed me section and I saw this one girl who looks stunning with a short but very intriguing profile, later on that evening I got a "meet me" notification from the same girl, I responded accordingly with a very nice response and Nothing !

I also have a question for all of you, how long do you talk to someone before asking to meet up or is it a case of a "feeling"

For me i prefer to meet up withing a few days. I hate dragging out conversations for weeks. Prefer to have a chat for a couple of days then meet up.

HellFireClub

ladylost wrote: »

I'm not sure about that. Contacted a guy last week who had pics and a profile I liked. He seemed nice and we were chatting but when it came to meeting up he was only available some very odd times. I asked about the weekends and got more of the same. Now either the guy was a bigger workaholic than my ex or he has a wife/partner. I don't beleive anyone when they say they are working 5 nights a week and all weekend every weekend!! I should have used tineye for the pics to see if they were real. Maybe he was legit but my cynical side said leave it off

Well I work for myself and work crazy hours, including the weekend, but having said that, you make time for a date if you want to go on one I think. But I think it would be ultimately self defeating to be married, planning to cheat and have a profile with a pic up on POF, Ireland is just too small a place for that I think, you'd get caught within a few weeks!