The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Galvasean

Samich wrote: »

Oh he's a boardsie?

It's me!!!!

It's not me.

Larianne

Zhora wrote: »

Perhaps we all need to do is treat it as a bit of fun, lighten up and enjoy it as just another way of meeting people nowadays.

That's the only way you should treat online dating.

Galvasean

Larianne wrote: »

That's the only way you should treat online dating.

Oh lord yes, you'd be mad not to. MAD!

Samich

OD has been 0 fun. :P

Larianne

Samich wrote: »

OD has been 0 fun. :P

You're doing it wrong!

Samich

Larianne wrote: »

You're doing it wrong!

It takes 2 to have fun though... :P

Galvasean

Samich wrote: »

It takes 2 to have fun though... :P

*insert lewd joke here*

HellFireClub

It was fun last summer & the summer before, had some great dates, I can't put my finger on why, but this summer it has irked the absolute sh*t out of me!

Zhora

HellFireClub wrote: »

It was fun last summer & the summer before, had some great dates, I can't put my finger on why, but this summer it has irked the absolute sh*t out of me!

Blame it on the weather, everything else is. Lol
tbh hasn't been a good summer so far. Here's hoping august will be better, weatherwise and datingwise for everyone! ��

Larianne

HellFireClub wrote: »

It was fun last summer & the summer before, had some great dates, I can't put my finger on why, but this summer it has irked the absolute sh*t out of me!

I would say because there is a lot more members on the site now (compared with last year when I tried it first). There's less and less interesting profiles to read and more of the same shít. It's like they've all copied and paste from the same profile.

HellFireClub

Zhora wrote: »

Blame it on the weather, everything else is. Lol
tbh hasn't been a good summer so far. Here's hoping august will be better, weatherwise and datingwise for everyone! 😊

I think it's a recession thingy, everyone being more cautious, ground down with cynicism, etc.

lilmissprincess

Date one went well

Hoping to see him again during the week.

Armaghmagic

Hardonraging wrote: »

JennyBurke101 wrote: »

Where the hell is my Christian Bale type guy on these sites???? All I seem to get is guys like 10-30 years older than me messaging me This online thing is going so awful for me lately its unreal

Pm me your profile and i'll give you a few tip's see if we can get you on the road to recovery ok ..

Willing to do the same, have done it for others. Hope things get better for you!

Colours

I prefer to deviate from the usual script when messaging back and forth with a man on OD. Quite often I will message a man first if their profile has enticed me in some way in which case I'll usually ask him about something which was mentioned in his profile. I ignore all messages consisting solely of some variation of "Hi how you doin?" or "What you up to?" or the infamous one - liner "Hi" or if they're obvious cut and paste jobs which could have been fired off to hundreds of other women.

I don't understand the point of the POF feature whereby a man clicks a button to let you that they'd like to meet you. I've responded to a few of these "come on"s and have never heard anything back them. I don't understand what was going through the guy's mind when he clicked that button for me and then skidaddled into the ether when I dropped him a line. If he genuinely would like to potentially meet me then why wouldn't he go the whole hog and actually send me a message to support the fact that he's signifying some degree of interest in me or rather my profile.

The last date I had with a guy I guess fits the criteria of a success. We messaged back and forth a bit for a few days and then met up for a coffee. I was physically attracted to him and we snogged afterwards. But I'm at sea when it comes to protocol and "the rules". Like, I like this guy and I am assuming he likes me since we kissed and there was plenty of smiling and touching etc. Yet he's quite aloof and there tends to be a 2 day pause between my messages to him and his response back. It's made me unsure about what he's about as it's reminding me of relationships I had with other men in the past who I concluded were just not that into me as it felt like I was always hanging around for them to text or call and these were always few and far between.

I suppose the remedy here is to utilise one of the aforementioned features of OD and start messaging other guys and stop hankering after this one. I wouldn't naturally be inclined to have a few potential dates on the go at the same time but perhaps it will come to me with practice!

HellFireClub

Larianne wrote: »

I would say because there is a lot more members on the site now (compared with last year when I tried it first). There's less and less interesting profiles to read and more of the same shít. It's like they've all copied and paste from the same profile.

I don't see many new female users on the site, mainly the same faces that have been on the site for the last 2 years, with the same ridiculously boring & annoying headlines, "Are there no decent men left?", or else the most hopelessly repeated profile headline ever, "Can you make me laugh???"...

Larianne

HellFireClub wrote: »

I don't see many new female users on the site, mainly the same faces that have been on the site for the last 2 years, with the same ridiculously boring & annoying headlines, "Are there no decent men left?", or else the most hopelessly repeated profile headline ever, "Can you make me laugh???"...

Well then, that's your answer. There's no one new on the site to attract your interest.

HellFireClub

Larianne wrote: »

Well then, that's your answer. There's no one new on the site to attract your interest.

I'm not saying that there are no new users that interest me, I'm just saying that I don't think the site has become any worse for that particular reason...

Piliger

HellFireClub wrote: »

Well if you are a woman, you wouldn't have a reason to be negative about OD because if you are even half in shape and in any way not unattractive and don't have a caustic profile up, you will have an inbox that will be filling up with mails from guys on the site.

It's a completely different experience for guys using the site, unless you look like George Clooney or Brad Pitt, you are wasting your time with it, because you can send out as many mails as you want, you are in essence, being ranked pretty much exclusively in terms of your looks, against everyone else sitting beside you in that inbox.

I am a man. I don't see any evidence of being ranked any differently than when I meet women in person, and that is the issue.

Piliger

HellFireClub wrote: »

Here's an example of how this OD has gone to the point where it's just ridiculously stupid...

Am looking at a girls profile here on match.com, it says:

29 years old, looking for a man from 25-30.

So any guy 31, 32, 33, a normal enough age I'd say for a guy to be seen with a 29 year old, can't even mail this girl?!?!?

I know, I know, I know, "she doesn't want to date any men older than her", fine, but that's just ridiculous I think, to be narrowing your options to such an extent where people your own age can't even contact you.

And on what grounds are you claiming that this girl or her ilk, are not applying exactly the same criteria in real life situation ?

Piliger

Galvasean wrote: »

Sorry (Piliger) for snipping out the majority of your post (trying to save space).
I wasn't for a minute defending the 'traditional' Irish method of dating, ie: getting drunk and kopping off. I was merely pointing out that quite a lot of people seem to (unrealistically) expect immediate fireworks when meeting up with someone from OD. The same people may be similar in non OD situations too, which could go some of the way to explaining why they are single I suppose.

I know you were not 'defending' it. Though I made no mention of the drunk and kopping off aspect, whatever that means :rolleyes:

Too many people here are attacking OD in a way that directly infers that it is worse than real life dating.
I say that people basically behave the same way on line as they do offline, but people don't notice so much, and that at least online offers several advantages.

Your last comment is amusing but I suggest completely inaccurate. Everyone is single at some stage, and most are repeatedly so at different stages of their lives.

purplepapillon

I didn't have any experience of OD till I set up a profile a week or so ago. I'm taking steps rather tentatively, just after finishing a relationship a month ago. I don't know if this is too soon or whatever, but I'm feeling ok about it.

I guess the thing I would say to the guys who think they're being "ranked" etc - think about girls doing the "ranking". Do you really want to be judged on one profile picture and cast aside? If the girl who's looking does cast you aside, so to speak, take it that she's not worth it, doesn't deserve you and you don't want her if your life A guy rated me so I checked out his profile. He's no Brad Pitt, but luckily I don't like Brad Pitt. He had a sweet profile, and we shared some common interests. He had another pic on his profile, which was so different from his profile one (and I think about my FB and some absolute shockers of nights out etc ). A picture doesn't capture everything. One thing I wonder is, why do I get an email saying he rated me either 4 or 5 stars, and he didn't message me??! Guessing he's shy, I messaged him instead.

You just can't judge on appearance, and if some girl does and doesn't reply or whatever, gotta forget about her guys.

I joined OKCupid. Is this better/worse than POF in your opinion? I have replied to messages that were genuine (i.e. not those one liners "how are you baby?") thus far.

HellFireClub

Piliger wrote: »

And on what grounds are you claiming that this girl or her ilk, are not applying exactly the same criteria in real life situation ?

On the grounds of basic common sense.

When did you last hear of two people giving each other the eye across a pub during the night, one approaches the other, only to be told, "hang on now a second, I'm interested in you if you are 30, but if you're 31, I'm simply not interested, sorry, because I'll only date or talk to men who are my age or younger, and that means strictly 30 years of age or less!"...???

Or when did you last hear a girl replying to being chatted up, by saying: "Well this clearly can't go anywhere because I'm 5'7" without heels & I'm 5'10" in my heels and sure you being only 5'9", this conversation isn't even getting started here"?!?!?

kiddums

Samich wrote: »

Mailed a newbie with nothing on her profile last week, got nothing back. Her profile reads "Have a pic when we get talkin...."

So I mailed her just because she's my age and county for a second time "Do you not find me that interesting? " (as why else would someone not reply) and I get back "no, where's your pic".

Sigh sigh sigh! :P

Just out of curiousity, how long did you leave it before you sent the second message?

andreac

Samich wrote: »

Mailed a newbie with nothing on her profile last week, got nothing back. Her profile reads "Have a pic when we get talkin...."

So I mailed her just because she's my age and county for a second time "Do you not find me that interesting? " (as why else would someone not reply) and I get back "no, where's your pic".

Sigh sigh sigh! :P

Did you mail her without sending a pic? If so, i dont blame her. I never talk to people without seeing a pic straight away, i just dont talk to blank profiles, whats the point? I have my profile set that you cant contact me without a pic.

I wouldnt even read a profile without a pic up, thats just me.;)

Armaghmagic

andreac wrote: »

Samich wrote: »

Mailed a newbie with nothing on her profile last week, got nothing back. Her profile reads "Have a pic when we get talkin...."

So I mailed her just because she's my age and county for a second time "Do you not find me that interesting? " (as why else would someone not reply) and I get back "no, where's your pic".

Sigh sigh sigh! :P

Did you mail her without sending a pic? If so, i dont blame her. I never talk to people without seeing a pic straight away, i just dont talk to blank profiles, whats the point? I have my profile set that you cant contact me without a pic.

I wouldnt even read a profile without a pic up, thats just me.;)

You must just not have liked my pic so ;-)

andreac

Armaghmagic wrote: »

You must just not have liked my pic so ;-)

Oh, did you send me a pic?

Armaghmagic

andreac wrote: »

Armaghmagic wrote: »

You must just not have liked my pic so ;-)

Oh, did you send me a pic?

Yeah but......ah well!hehe

CastorTroy

Got a message from woman containing poor/no punctuation, really bad grammar and text speak. Checked her profile. She's 32 and the grammar was better in the profile but considering she said she's not a student but likes to live the student lifestyle, I decided too many cons.

I'm no grammar nazi, as can probably be told by my posts, but this was really bad.

Armaghmagic

CastorTroy wrote: »

Got a message from woman containing poor/no punctuation, really bad grammar and text speak. Checked her profile. She's 32 and the grammar was better in the profile but considering she said she's not a student but likes to live the student lifestyle, I decided too many cons.

I'm no grammar nazi, as can probably be told by my posts, but this was really bad.

Have found myself not bothering to message women like this. Only recently starting doing this, used to be if they were smokers but now its the grammar and text speak that get my goat.

andreac

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Yeah but......ah well!hehe

Awh no, sorry