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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

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    #2792
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Or when did you last hear a girl replying to being chatted up, by saying: "Well this clearly can't go anywhere because I'm 5'7" without heels & I'm 5'10" in my heels and sure you being only 5'9", this conversation isn't even getting started here"?!?!?

    A woman with those "criteria" mightn't be quite so blunt about it, but she still probably wouldn't chat to the guy for very long.


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    #2793
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    CastorTroy wrote: »
    Got a message from woman containing poor/no punctuation, really bad grammar and text speak. Checked her profile. She's 32 and the grammar was better in the profile but considering she said she's not a student but likes to live the student lifestyle, I decided too many cons.

    I'm no grammar nazi, as can probably be told by my posts, but this was really bad.


    I've been messaged by women in txt spk on a couple of occasions. Usually, they're new to the site, younger than me and we blatantly have nothing in common. The first time this happened, I thought it was a blatant example of some yungwan getting familiar with the whole experience by practising on someone that was probably not an axe murderer they would NEVER interact with in reality. By the third time, I was certain. Ah well:rolleyes:


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    #2794
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    A woman with those "criteria" mightn't be quite so blunt about it, but she still probably wouldn't chat to the guy for very long.

    I genuinely don't think that people who are trying to meet someone in real life actually go around with these silly notions in their head, for example someone can't be a year older than them, or someone can't be the same height as them, or someone must have a chiseled jaw, or someone must be bald, or someone must have a full head of hair, or whatever. They may have preferences, but they are not going around with hard and fast ridiculous rules set in stone.

    For example, I've a thing for a girl with brown eyes, yet despite being in a 5 year and a 10 year relationship, I was never in a long term (or even a short term) relationship with a girl with brown eyes. I would never had been in these relationships, (which I absolutely loved being in, either relationship I add could have ended in a marriage, but which didn't work out for their own respective reasons that I'm not getting into here obviously), but I never would have experienced the years of happiness that I did have in these relationships, if I was going around with notions in my head that I would only date a girl with brown eyes that ticked that particular box.

    It's this aspect of OD that I just do not get, I don't accept that it's normal or healthy for humans to take a run at romance from this position of having non-negotiable items fixed down onto a list, and that those items on the list must be ticked for a conversation about a date to even be possible, let alone a date in itself.

    I genuinely believe that you simply do not get to choose who you fall in love with, and I think a lot of what I've seen in relation to OD is really flying completely in the face of romance, as I understand it.


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    #2795
    seachto7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,863 ✭✭✭seachto7


    The biggest turn off is "text speak". I 100% detest it....


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    #2796
    Hardonraging
    Registered Users Posts: 2,641 ✭✭✭Hardonraging


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    I genuinely believe that you simply do not get to choose who you fall in love with, and I think a lot of what I've seen in relation to OD is really flying completely in the face of romance, as I understand it.


    I'd agree to a certain point, i believe either there's chemistry there, or there isn't.. and no amount of check list's will help this, and sometimes it's worth the risk to go out side your comfort zone, you never know what's waiting for you out there..


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    #2797
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    I genuinely don't think that people who are trying to meet someone in real life actually go around with these silly notions in their head, for example someone can't be a year older than them, or someone can't be the same height as them, or someone must have a chiseled jaw, or someone must be bald, or someone must have a full head of hair, or whatever. They may have preferences, but they are not going around with hard and fast ridiculous rules set in stone.

    We'll agree to disagree, so. If a guy the size of Ruby Walsh started chatting me up in a bar, I'd be polite, but I certainly wouldn't be getting into a conversation with him with a view to it going somewhere.


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    #2798
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    We'll agree to disagree, so. If a guy the size of Ruby Walsh started chatting me up in a bar, I'd be polite, but I certainly wouldn't be getting into a conversation with him with a view to it going somewhere.

    Im the same, im not into guys with long, or longish hair, its a big turn off for me, so i wouldnt get chatting to someone either as i know its not going to go anywhere.


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    #2799
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    We'll agree to disagree, so. If a guy the size of Ruby Walsh started chatting me up in a bar, I'd be polite, but I certainly wouldn't be getting into a conversation with him with a view to it going somewhere.

    That's a bit of an extreme example I think. It seems to me that on POF, any girl over 5'7" seems to think that a guy who is taller than her yet under 6 foot in height would look ridiculous standing beside her in heels. I personally like dating women who are close-ish to me in height (I'm 5'9"), but to my mind that could be anywhere from 5'4" - 6'1", and as for what height she is in heels, I really don't think I'd be bothered by that, if I got on with her, fancied her and we had a laugh together...


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    #2800
    CastorTroy
    Registered Users Posts: 29,106 ✭✭✭✭CastorTroy


    cantdecide wrote: »
    I've been messaged by women in txt spk on a couple of occasions. Usually, they're new to the site, younger than me and we blatantly have nothing in common. The first time this happened, I thought it was a blatant example of some yungwan getting familiar with the whole experience by practising on someone that was probably not an axe murderer they would NEVER interact with in reality. By the third time, I was certain. Ah well:rolleyes:

    Ah, axes are so unwieldy. :rolleyes:

    But the woman also had her Profession as "None" so either unemployed or didn't fill it out. Not a problem usually, but combined with the rest will have to go with the decision of not replying.

    Hopefully when I send my first messages they get replies. :) 3 have messaged me so far but none worth following through on.


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    #2801
    purplepapillon
    Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭purplepapillon


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    and as for what height she is in heels, I really don't think I'd be bothered by that, if I got on with her, fancied her and we had a laugh together...

    I'd have to agree here. Some girls are hell-bent on the fact that a guy must be over 6 foot, but if you click with the person, it doesn't really matter. A friend of mine recently started seeing a guy who is about 5'7". She's just started wearing flats or shorter heels out with him, because it's comfortable and she doesn't want to be taller than him. She's actually thankful for the comfort now :)


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    #2802
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    That's a bit of an extreme example I think.

    It was an extreme example, but I just wanted to point out that people who have a "type" can be just as fussy in real life. It's just that OD allows them to be ruthless on top of it.


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    #2803
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    It was an extreme example, but I just wanted to point out that people who have a "type" can be just as fussy in real life. It's just that OD allows them to be ruthless on top of it.

    As I said before, I've never seen people going around with the same petty criteria when it comes to dating in real life, as you can see goes on with internet dating. While I fully accept that people have preferences, there is a difference between people having preferences and people having a list of really petty whims that they insist are met when it comes to OD.

    For this reason, I believe OD is a completely flawed way of meeting someone who is serious about a relationship. Don't get me wrong, it's great for passing time if you are bored, it's great for a bit of banter and a bit of yapping if you are bored, it might even be great for making a few new friends for coffees and drinks if you are sick of your current social scene, but as for meeting credible relationship material, I BELIEVE, it's a complete waste of time.


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    #2804
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    kiddums wrote: »
    Just out of curiousity, how long did you leave it before you sent the second message?


    About a week, was just wondering why she didn't reply really.
    andreac wrote: »
    Did you mail her without sending a pic? If so, i dont blame her. I never talk to people without seeing a pic straight away, i just dont talk to blank profiles, whats the point? I have my profile set that you cant contact me without a pic.

    I wouldnt even read a profile without a pic up, thats just me.;)

    No, why would I send my pic when she didn't have her pic up and I had a full profile entered.

    I said "Hey, do you not find me interesting? :D" and she replies back "no, where's your pic"

    And then I reply back "no point sending a pic if I'm not interesting".

    Mailed another girl then with pics up and nothing on her profile just asking had she met anyone from it. She said yes and then said the detail is stupid and it's all about looks on the site.


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    #2805
    Maguined
    Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    As I said before, I've never seen people going around with the same petty criteria when it comes to dating in real life, as you can see goes on with internet dating. While I fully accept that people have preferences, there is a difference between people having preferences and people having a list of really petty whims that they insist are met when it comes to OD.

    For this reason, I believe OD is a completely flawed way of meeting someone who is serious about a relationship. Don't get me wrong, it's great for passing time if you are bored, it's great for a bit of banter and a bit of yapping if you are bored, it might even be great for making a few new friends for coffees and drinks if you are sick of your current social scene, but as for meeting credible relationship material, I BELIEVE, it's a complete waste of time.

    You haven't seen it because it is not so blatantly obvious in real life. A profile specifies an individuals criteria openly in a way people do not openly express in real life. When you look at a woman in a pub you don't get that instant knowledge that she only wants a guy over 6 foot or dislikes tattoos. If you try to chat her up and you are under 6 foot and have tattoos chances are she will not specify these are the reason she is not interested she will simply try to disengage from the conversation and move on.

    It's not that OD makes people more picky, it just is more open and honest about peoples criteria.


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    #2806
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Samich wrote: »
    About a week, was just wondering why she didn't reply really.


    No, why would I send my pic when she didn't have her pic up and I had a full profile entered.

    I said "Hey, do you not find me interesting? :D" and she replies back "no, where's your pic"

    And then I reply back "no point sending a pic if I'm not interesting".

    Mailed another girl then with pics up and nothing on her profile just asking had she met anyone from it. She said yes and then said the detail is stupid and it's all about looks on the site.

    Oh right, i get ya. Well, id still find it hard to get chatting with someone who still hadnt sent their pic. Their profile alone wouldnt be enough for me to start chatting and if someone mails me without a pic, i say straight away that i dont chat to people without pics, end of.


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    #2807
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    andreac wrote: »
    Oh right, i get ya. Well, id still find it hard to get chatting with someone who still hadnt sent their pic. Their profile alone wouldnt be enough for me to start chatting and if someone mails me without a pic, i say straight away that i dont chat to people without pics, end of.

    Are your pics public? or Private?


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    #2808
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Well mine are public, so that might be different.


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    #2809
    Snoopy1
    Registered Users Posts: 4,185 ✭✭✭Snoopy1


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    As I said before, I've never seen people going around with the same petty criteria when it comes to dating in real life, as you can see goes on with internet dating. While I fully accept that people have preferences, there is a difference between people having preferences and people having a list of really petty whims that they insist are met when it comes to OD.

    For this reason, I believe OD is a completely flawed way of meeting someone who is serious about a relationship. Don't get me wrong, it's great for passing time if you are bored, it's great for a bit of banter and a bit of yapping if you are bored, it might even be great for making a few new friends for coffees and drinks if you are sick of your current social scene, but as for meeting credible relationship material, I BELIEVE, it's a complete waste of time.

    Why are you posting on a thread then, thats about online dating if you find it a waste of time.


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    #2810
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    andreac wrote: »
    Well mine are public, so that might be different.

    Well this one had no pics up, so wasn't gonna send mine.


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    #2811
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Samich wrote: »
    Well this one had no pics up, so wasn't gonna send mine.

    Why not send your pic, then if she was interested she could have sent hers back and you could have went from there??

    If neither of you were prepared to send a pic first then its pointless really to mail in the first place...


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    #2812
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    andreac wrote: »
    Why not send your pic, then if she was interested she could have sent hers back and you could have went from there??

    If neither of you were prepared to send a pic first then its pointless really to mail in the first place...

    Because she had nothing on her profile, was clear she didn't care what I was like, only about my pic.


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    #2813
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Samich wrote: »
    Because she had nothing on her profile, was clear she didn't care what I was like, only about my pic.

    Did you mail her first?


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    #2814
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    andreac wrote: »
    Did you mail her first?

    Yep. Mailed twice. I wasn't interested, had nothing to be interested in, only mailed as she was my age and in my county.


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    #2815
    wobblyknees
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭wobblyknees


    So I received a very enthusiastic message from someone earlier today. She obviously has an interest based on my own profile. The only thing is she had no pic attached, but her profile seemed really interesting and the message was great so I replied. I didn't actually ask for a pic but she sent one with her next message. I nearly fell off my chair. She's gorgeous. I'm waiting for Jeremy Beadle to pop his head round the corner with a camara and mic!

    :D

    In all seriousness, if she is real/not blind, I'd have to be a complete idiot to not even muster a half decent date out of this situation, wouldn't I?

    :D


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    #2816
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Samich wrote: »
    Yep. Mailed twice. I wasn't interested, had nothing to be interested in, only mailed as she was my age and in my county.

    So why bother in the first place if you werent interested, especially twice, it doesnt make sense?? If you mailed, you should have attached a pic as clearly you were the interested party by making contact with her.

    Its actually very annoying when people mail you when they clearly have no interest in you, waste of time in my opinion :confused:


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    #2817
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    andreac wrote: »
    So why bother in the first place if you werent interested, especially twice, it doesnt make sense?? If you mailed, you should have attached a pic as clearly you were the interested party by making contact with her.

    Its actually very annoying when people mail you when they clearly have no interest in you, waste of time in my opinion :confused:

    Well it's a good job I didn't send a pic it turned out.


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    #2818
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Samich wrote: »
    Well it's a good job I didn't send a pic it turned out.

    Why is that? You werent interested either, so not sure what you were looking for out of it by mailing someone for no reason...


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    #2819
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    andreac wrote: »
    Why is that? You werent interested either, so not sure what you were looking for out of it by mailing someone for no reason...

    Because had I sent a pic when she asked (and said I wasn't interesting) she could have liked the look of me and then became interested. No thanks :)


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    #2820
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Samich wrote: »
    Because had I sent a pic when she asked (and said I wasn't interesting) she could have liked the look of me and then became interested. No thanks :)

    But why message her in the first place if you were not interested? :confused:


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    #2821
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    Larianne wrote: »
    But why message her in the first place if you were not interested? :confused:

    Well 1. I couldn't have an interest in her, she had no pic or detail entered.

    2. Mailed in the small chance she could have been chatty etc in mail.

    3. There's no one else to mail.


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